BUCKETS.BLOG

[TO BE CONTINUED] Myra is a longtime friend of mine I didn’t even meet until after four years of knowing her husband. Huh? It was straight from a plot of a romance movie. As I recall, I was great friends with her boyfriend in high school while she was studying in another country. Next, I lost touch with her boyfriend as I went off somewhere else for college. Life just gets in the way. Fast forward four years later to an engagement retreat (one mile from our condos that were coincidentally in the same complex) where we were both preparing to spend the rest of our lives with our loved ones. Our weddings were two weeks apart from each other. You can’t make this up. Since then, her and her boyfriend (now husband) have been our examples on how to live a “perfectly imperfect” marriage. Love one another until death due us part. Pray and be thankful. Be amazing parents at all costs. Live your dreams and work hard. Forge success from your hands. She has taught me so much about doing more for other people out of the kindness of your heart. She has exemplified a new level of generosity that I’ve never witnessed before from anyone else. She has inspired me to love everyone as everyone deserves to be loved.

Janelle (the lovely lady on the right of the photo) is a woman who embodies intelligence and humility. She is a Cornell graduate, as is her loving husband. She is a civil engineer by day, but a food and wine fanatic by night. In fact, her love for those two have led her across the world to Portugal, Spain, and various other countries which she might not have visited otherwise. We met through work, but quickly realized that work was just a means to connect our lives together and the rest of the world. She was the client, and I was the consultant. But, from day one she treated me like I was one of her best friends. For that respect, I am truly grateful. She currently in Boston, and we miss her (and her hubby). Monthly dinners were our opportunities to catch up and discuss the big picture of life. Now that she’s away, you better believe I took this chance to talk to her and cover all that I could in an hour … and then some. What I learned from her was that engineering is not just a career. The mindset of an engineer – the attention to detail, the planning, the constant calculations – don’t just go away when you leave the office. She brings that skill set into her traveling itinerary, her marriage, and her passions. I admire that. I always thought I was never an engineer by heart, but the more I talked with her was the more it was OK to be an engineer outside of engineering if that makes sense.

James F. is an individual I look up to – figuratively and physically. (He’s almost a foot taller than me.) We met during a previous contract I was working on, and he made it very clear that we were going to be friends. He was persistent in bringing me out to lunch with him (when sometimes I tried to hide in my office), and we grew closer even after I left that company and that contract. We created a tradition of board games and dinners monthly, yet we rarely ever get around to playing board games. He is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve just to make sure his wife can see it. The love he has for his wife, his video games and comic books, and Star Wars movies is so evident that I have reached the point of jealousy – not for Star Wars. I’m jealous that he lives life at full authenticity without regret or fear of the perception from others. I’m sure I have much to offer to him as well - like a good shot from the three-point line in his face. I also learned that there is value in living a life without a distinct plan, if you are living it with the people you love. Coming from such a structured mindset, I grew into the habit of thinking through every life decision and making use of every minute of the day. Productivity became my vice. With his influence, I realize it’s OK to think otherwise. There is such a thing as a healthy balance between the two.

[TO BE CONTINUED] As human beings, we all have the need to belong. We want to feel accepted by a family, a tribe, or a community. Otherwise, we would be content with living a lonely life. I can’t think of a single person who is OK with that. Antonius is the man who pulled me into his tribe the first day I met him. First, it was his inner-circle of friends – whom we are all still close ‘till this day – then it was his family. He invited me in with no questions asked. Once I was surrounded by his loved ones, I was quickly influenced by his strong foundation and values of love for his family/friends and spirituality. Fifteen years later, I am still learning from him. His consistency of those values is evident, and I appreciate it greatly. Regardless of where we are in our lives, he always bring us back to homeostasis with a focus on God, family, and us – his friends.

My first consulting job was at a place I didn’t belong. The management team took a chance on me, and I on them. We parted ways and not by my own doing. What’s unique about this scenario is that they didn’t fire me because I was lazy or unfocused. They fired me because no matter how hard I tried to learn, grow, and catch-up to the rest of the industry (in this specific niche) I just wasn’t worth the time and effort. Understandably so. I burned through a lot of self-esteem and drowned in self-doubt thinking I could be no good to anyone. Only after I got fired did I seek out my strengths (and weaknesses). I realized my strengths may not have been valuable to that specific company (or those specific managers) but I should never have neglected the value I can bring to the rest of the world. This occurrence kick-started my pursuit of self-improvement and happiness. Jacob V. is one of the few individuals who believed in me when they didn’t and has struggled with me along the way. For that, I am forever grateful. We’ve talked in-depth through many things quite frequently in recent years but this specific conversation drove me to the following life lessons. Lessons you can also benefit from in your career, your personal growth, and the future to come. I hope these words bless your life as they have mine.

[TO BE CONTINUED] Oke is an individual I met working at one of my previous companies. We hit it off from the very first cup of coffee. Then I quickly learned that the coffee we were drinking was his own and his business. I learned so much from the chances he’s taken in life ─ success or failure ─ and the consistency he has with his coffee roasting business. He’s watched me rise and fall with my own business, yet he knows I’m still on the right path. Here are the talking points you can benefit from as have I.

Kris is an individual I met in college whom I wished I met much earlier in life. He embodies creativity, humility, and loyalty to his friends and more importantly his family. He has supported me through the failures of starting my own business, and he has inspired me through the success of his own business. His keen eye of photography captures the most significant moments in life that I strive to do in this conversation.