Building Psychological Strength

No one likes to argue, but unfortunately, it's all but guaranteed even in the best of our relationships. Today I want to give you a new way to approach arguments that can help them be more productive and less contentious.

So many times, when we stumble through something new, big, unfamiliar, or ambiguous, we think EVERYONE IS WATCHING US! We second-guess and pick apart our decisions, behaviors, and failures because we FEEL LIKE WE'RE ON A STAGE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!

Today, I want to focus on something called the spotlight effect. This is the tendency we have to overestimate how much other people notice about us. And, this tendency of ours, can impact the decisions we make, the risks we take, and our ultimate success in business.

Since 1950, rates of anxiety and depression have rapidly increased in the U.S. and around the globe, to the point that we now have a mental health crisis on our hands. Improvement in testing and diagnosis does not explain this increase. Rather, changes in our diet, environment, and lifestyle are believed to explain this rapid increase. 

Our brains are constantly changing (neuroplasticity) and growing (neurogenisis). Cutting edge research shows us that the linkage between our brain and the “neurotoxic environment” we currently live in is leading to a weakened brain, causing us to experience heightened levels of anxiety, depression, and cognitive decline. 

This week on the podcast, I’m speaking with Dr. Brant Cortright, clinical psychologist and professor emeritus at the California Institute of Integral Studies. In his recent book “Holistic Healing for Anxiety, Depression, and Cognitive Decline,” he discusses the link between our “neurotoxic environment” and our mental health. 

Most importantly, we have a deep conversation about how we all can begin to reverse these effects. You won’t want to miss this episode. Your brain will thank you! 

Learn more about Dr. Cortright at: https://www.brantcortright.com/  

For the last couple of weeks, we've been focusing on habit formation. We talked about setting yourself up for success, and tracking your successes. But what happens if you "fall off the wagon?"

FREE GIFT: Take our newest quiz and find out why you might be feeling overwhelmed. Visit www.peakmindpsychology.com/quiz to learn more.

Imagine you're at a networking event, dinner, or cocktail party. You find yourself striking up a conversation with someone you've never met, and they inevitably ask you THE question: "So, what do you do?"

If you're anything like me, that innocent question became a loaded one when I became an entrepreneur. I fumbled through it, weakly answering in a way that probably told the person on the receiving end exactly NOTHING about what I actually did for a living. And, I found myself confused as to why I had such a hard time with that question.

As it turns out, I have come to realize that there are 3 reasons why that question is hard for entrepreneurs, particularly new entrepreneurs. And none of those reasons is a surface level reason.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, resentful, exhausted, or stretched too thin, it could be a sign that you’re overfunctioning.  

Overfunctioning is when we take on more than our fair share of responsibility inside of the context of the system we’re in. Whether it’s our family system, our work system, or another context. When we overfunction, we take on the burden of responsibility that others could shoulder.   

And we suffer because of it. 

Today, we’re diving deep into where overfunctioning comes from. (HINT: It’s actually a natural, normal, typically helpful mental process gone awry!). We talk about how to recognize it, what the implications of it are, and most importantly, how to begin to make a shift into greater balance and ease. 

FREE DOWNLOAD: During the episode, we mentioned a free “self ethnography” download. Simply visit www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0212 to get your free self ethnography pages. 

We also mentioned our programs Ascend and Self Care [by Design]. These are both great options if you want to begin to do the work of balancing out your life to get out of an overfunctioning situation. You can learn more about these programs at www.peakmindpsychology.com/programs. 

Last Monday, we talked about the importance of experiencing success when you're trying to create a new habit. But, how do you truly appreciate those successes? By tracking them. The simple act of tracking your own behavior and the accountability it provides can be the slight nudge you need to help you stay on track when you otherwise wouldn't.

Take our latest psych strength quiz absolutely free. Visit https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/quiz

Tell me if you've ever experienced this. You're working on your business or setting a new goal, or planning for a product or service launch, or forecasting revenue for the year, and your mind steps in. It says, "Who are you to think you can achieve that?" or "Why do you think you're qualified when so many others are better than you?"

Imposter syndrome runs deep in entrepreneurship. Not only that, but when we feel like an imposter, it zaps our confidence, and we tend to set goals that are below our capability. We make decisions that are safe, rather than ones that are a calculated risk that could move our business forward. Essentially, imposter syndrome sets us up to underperform.

Even more, most of the advice I hear on the internet and in other domains is actually really ineffective, albeit good-intentioned. This is why we're tackling the topic of imposter syndrome on the podcast today.

When was the last time you felt ashamed? Did you feel inclined to talk to someone about how you were feeling, or did you keep it to yourself? As you think back, were you feeling ashamed about something you actually had control over or were you accepting shame for something outside of your direct control?

Does shame ever play a role in influencing your behavior when you realize that you’ve changed your mind on a belief you once strongly held? Do you ever feel shame toward other people when they seem to “flip-flop” on important issues?

What about at a societal level? Do you see the influence of shame in any of our core institutions? The legal system, perhaps? Or the school system?

These are all of the questions we’re addressing during this week’s episode, which is an in-depth conversation with Nick Jawarski, the host of the podcast “Shame Rules!”

Nick became fascinated by the complex ways in which shame impacts us at both an individual and a societal level. He attempted to cover it in an episode of a podcast, but he quickly realized it deserved its own show. 

In our conversation, we begin by diving into what shame and guilt are and how they impact us individually. We talk about the role they play in keeping us from growing and learning new things, particularly in the age of social media. 

Then, we take an interesting turn to talk about the near-universal role that shame plays in our broader institutions in society. We’re talking about things as fundamental as the legal system and our public school system.

Not only will you leave this episode with a more in-depth understanding of the ways in which shame might impact you on a day-to-day basis, but you’ll begin to see it everywhere in society. I know I did!

I can’t wait for you to meet Nick Jawarski and to check out his new podcast, Shame Rules! https://www.shamerules.com/  

Head over to www.peakmindpsychology.com/quiz to see how you rank on our healthy selfishness quiz and get access to a free set of tools. 

Friends, it is January, and if you're like so many other people, you're probably working on a new goal. Many times, we set huge lofty goals, only to feel awful later on when we "fail." This year, try setting the bar low. Set it so low that it's almost impossible NOT to achieve it.

Take our newest quiz at www.peakmindpsychology.com/quiz