Building Psychological Strength

This week, we released a new free resource, and I wanted to make sure you knew about it. 

As the new school year approaches in the midst of the COVID epidemic, so many families have either made some very difficult decisions already or they’re facing some difficult decisions in the near future. The uncertainty around in-person, hybrid, and distance-learning means families are weighing some tough options and facing the potential of having to wear many hats at the same time. 

The idea of helping your child distance-learn while working from home has many people anticipating a difficult time. 

So many people have reached out to us to tell us that they already feel overwhelmed. Nervous. Worried. Their perfectionism is already kicking in with the reality that it might be tough if not impossible to do everything well.  

If you head over to peakmindpsychology.com/support, we’ve put together 3 hands-on exercises that range from 3 to 6 minutes that are designed to be used in the moment when you’re feeling overwhelmed. When you’re feeling worried. When your perfectionism is kicking in and making you feel like you’re failing.  

These are evidence-based, powerful exercises that deliver a meaningful shift back to balance, control, and alignment in an incredibly short amount of time. And, they’re absolutely free. 

Visit peakmindpsychology.com/support and get immediate access and support.

This is a special episode of the podcast. It’s actually the first part of a 2-part series we’re doing to dive into one of the most foundational principles of psychological strength. Specifically, the inner chatter of the committee in your mind. 

What is the committee in your mind? It’s the set of voices that chatter on a near-constant basis and have something to say and a judgement about every situation you find yourself in. It’s the set of mental patterns you’ve developed over time that leads you to over-function, be self-critical, and ignore your own needs. It’s the set of voices that leads you to suffer unnecessarily. 

It’s time to recognize them and begin to disobey them. 

During this first part of this series, we introduce you to a set of unhelpful committee members who show up involuntarily. They permeate nearly every moment of our lives, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.   

We’ll walk you through who each committee member is, how to recognize them, and at the end, we’ll walk you through some actionable steps to begin to quiet their voices and minimize their impact on you. 

The [Unhelpful] Committee Members: 

• The Inner Critic 
• The Persecutor 
• The Debbie Downer 
• The Judge 
• The Task-Master 
• The Logistics Person 
• The Martyr 
• The Victim 
• The People Pleaser 
• The Worrier 

Be sure to catch next week’s episode where we introduce you to the HELPFUL committee members who need more of a formal introduction to show up to the party. You wont’ want to miss it! 

We barely scratched the surface of this incredibly important concept in this episode, but we go DEEP on this very topic in our Ascend program. We invite you to check out the program and join us! https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/ascend  

Today’s show is dedicated to the person on the edge of burn out. The person who is juggling work, family, household, friends, and other responsibilities. 

You are an asset in your life. You are THE asset in your life, and as an asset, you must be protected. 

When you serve such an important role to so many different areas of your life, you need to make sure you’re able to show up with as much energy as possible. And, this means taking care of yourself. 

Today, we’re speaking with Jamie Shapiro, Executive Leadership Coach and Master Nutritionist. Jamie is the founder of Connected EC, and she has been coaching and developing high performing teams since 1998. Her interest in the intersection of wellness and leadership grew out of her own experiences as an executive at large-scale IT companies. She managed large teams, faced enormous pressure and was often on the road. 

We dive into such a great conversation in this episode. We talk about: 

• Approaching leadership from a whole-body perspective 
• The 4 holistic areas that true self-care should hit (pssst! It’s not just mental and emotional!) 
• The battle between our short-term self who wants instant gratification and our long-term self who wants to grow. 
• The importance of a clear vision for the future & the cognitive mechanism that fuels our ability to reach them. 
• The gut – brain connection 
• And finally, quick tips for pouring into ourselves so we can show up as the asset we are in our lives 

Jamie is the author of the book “Brilliant: Be the Leader Who Shines Brightly Without Burning Out." 

"I’m so worried about the upcoming school year.” 

“I’m already struggling to be a good mom and a good employee. Now I have to be a good teacher too?!” 

“I have such high standards for myself. I’m afraid of my perfectionism as school starts again.” 

“I’m afraid for my health and for my child’s health.” 

“I feel like I’m choosing my job over my kid’s health.” 

Do any of these sound at all like the thoughts and feelings you’re having right now as the 2020 school year approaches? So many of us are facing such uncertain and difficult times as we attempt to figure out how to handle the school year as our country is still gripped by the COVID-19 epidemic.  

We’ve heard from you loud and clear that you are looking for psych strength resources to help you cope through this year, and that is precisely why we recorded this episode. 

This episode is NOT an episode to teach you “10 Quick Mindset Tips to Force Yourself to Think Positively” or “5 Ways to Fit it All In and Do It Perfectly.” 

This episode is grounded in reality. In the reality that many of us will be facing a very difficult school year.  

But, here’s the thing. While there are many circumstances that are outside of our control as the school year opens up, we do have control over a few things. How we react. The boundaries we set. What we choose to be important and how we focus on it. The way we treat ourselves in the process. 

This episode is for you if you’re looking for some psych strength building techniques to help you thrive through this school year. Thriving through adversity is a real thing. It doesn’t mean that you have an EASY time. It means that you grow as a person, even when times are tough. 

You can do this. We’re here to help. 

Please reach out to us if there is anything else we can do to support you as school reopens, and do share this episode with someone who needs it. 

One of the really cool things that Psychology has to offer is its ability to help us understand our own behavior.  

I mean, why is it that some behaviors or habits are relatively easy for us to adopt, while we struggle with others? Why do some behaviors feel more “authentic” to us, while others feel more fake?  

What underlies all of that? And, more importantly, how can we use it to our advantage? 

That is exactly what we’re talking about this week as we chat with Amy Bucher. Amy holds a Ph.D. in Organizational Psychology and Undergraduate degree in Psychology from Harvard. She’s the author of the book “Engaged: Designing for Behavior Change,” and she is the go-to expert for how to use psychology in the design process. She uses her expertise in her role at the design firm Mad*Pow. 

I stumbled upon Amy and her work in a weekly behavioral design email I’m subscribed to, and I instantly knew I had to get her on the podcast. I knew she’d make a great guest, and wow did she deliver! 

In her episode we covered some amazing topics: 

• How psychology informs the design process and how something called the self-determination theory helps explain our own behavior 
• The myth between having “high or low” motivation, and what science tells us instead 
• The role of authenticity in happiness  
• How we can craft our life in alignment with who we really are in order to thrive through life’s ups and downs. 

I’m sure you can see why I’m so excited about this interview. I can’t wait for you to meet Amy Bucher! 

If you're interested in Amy's book, visit http://rosenfeldmedia.com/ and enter the code PeakMind0720 to get 20% off! (Code expires 8/31/20, so hurry!)

Self-care is more than bubble baths and manicures, but unfortunately, most self-care content we see out there is missing important components. Arguably, they’re missing THE MOST IMPORTANT components.  

Today on the podcast, we’re diving into something we call The Self-Care Pyramid. Specifically, it’s the 3 key levels of self-care that you really need to have in order to support yourself as the asset that you are. Sadly, most self-care content only addresses one of these levels, and it’s typically the least important one.  

During this episode, we dive into: 

• The 3 key levels of self-care and the distinct role each plays in supporting you at your best 
• The role that life design plays in creating your unique self-care routine.  
• The impact of basic necessities like sleep...and what happens when we don’t meet our basic needs (here is a link to the book ‘Why We Sleep’) 
• Tips for creating a self-care routine. (Here is a link to The Self Journal, April’s go-to self-care tool) 

If there’s one thing we want you to take away it is this: You are such an asset to the people around you, and as an asset, you need to be protected. Self-care is one of the protective mechanisms you need to have around you to make sure you can show up and perform at the level you want to. Take care of yourself. 

INTRODUCING ASCEND! 

During this episode, we announced the beta release of our signature psych strength building program, Ascend. We couldn’t be more excited to send this baby out into the world! 

As a beta program, we’re releasing it at the lowest price it will ever be. If you’ve ever considered doing something for yourself. To build your own psychological strength and resilience. To dive deep into understanding yourself. To design your life around YOU. This program is for you. 

Learn more at www.peakmindpsychology.com/ascend 

We’ve all been in the situation where someone, a boss, a co-worker, a partner, a friend, oversteps a boundary, we get frustrated, and we feel resentment toward that person begin to grow. 

The fact is, the way we interact in these interpersonal situations has incredible implications for so many aspects of our lives. It impacts the health of those relationships, it impacts our own sanity and wellbeing, and it impacts the way we show up for other people. 

Boundaries are important...but they’re not always easy to set. 

It’s this reason why we’re tackling this topic in today’s episode, and it’s this reason why we’ve included a bonus module in our new, flagship psych strength building program, Ascend, all about setting boundaries. 

Boundaries are one of the scaffolding elements that helps support you and the life you want to live.  

In this episode, we cover: 

• What boundaries are (Ashley’s definition is spot-on!) 
• The obvious and surprising reasons why they’re critical to set 
• Why they’re so difficult for us to set 
• And most importantly, how to use evidence-based psychological methods to help yourself move forward to set boundaries, even if you’re uncomfortable 

If you’re someone who is stretched thin and relied upon by other people, this is the episode for you! 

INTRODUCING ASCEND! 

During this episode, we announced the beta release of our signature psych strength building program, Ascend. We couldn’t be more excited to send this baby out into the world! 

As a beta program, we’re releasing it at the lowest price it will ever be. If you’ve ever considered doing something for yourself. To build your own psychological strength and resilience. To dive deep into understanding yourself. To design your life around YOU. This program is for you. 

Learn more at www.peakmindpsychology.com/ascend 

I’m sure you’ve seen it. The pretty Instagram post that says, “You are not your thoughts.” Heck, we’ve even posted that exact post from the Peak Mind account! 

But, you might be wondering what that even means, and that’s what we’re diving into with this week’s episode of the podcast. 

You see, here’s the thing: our minds are thought-generating machines. It’s their jobs. Our minds sending us a constant slew of thoughts is as natural as our stomach growling when we’re hungry. 

But, many times, those thoughts feel “authentic.” They feel like they’re something we’ve intentionally decide or believe. They dictate our feelings and even our behaviors, even if it means we avoid doing something we really and truly want to do. 

In this episode of the podcast, we’re diving into the ways in which our minds generate thoughts. Times when those thoughts are helpful, and times when they aren’t.  

Finally, we talk about a set of tools and techniques you can begin using RIGHT NOW to start separating yourself from the thoughts that are unhelpful.  

You’ll be hard-pressed to find an aspect of your life that isn’t impacted by the processes we’re digging into in this episode. For that reason, I hope you’ll give this episode a listen and implement some of the techniques we describe.  

Your thoughts are separate from you, and you do not have to obey them, but it takes psychological strength.  

INTRODUCING ASCEND! 

During this episode, we announced the beta release of our signature psych strength building program, Ascend. We couldn’t be more excited to send this baby out into the world! 

As a beta program, we’re releasing it at the lowest price it will ever be. If you’ve ever considered doing something for yourself. To build your own psychological strength and resilience. To dive deep into understanding yourself. To design your life around YOU. This program is for you. 

Learn more at www.peakmindpsychology.com/ascend 

Let’s take just a moment to review all of the people who rely on you in a given week.  

Your partner. Your kids. Your team at work. Your broader family. Your friends. That's a lot...and it can be overwhelming at times. 

You’ve probably seen the social media meme that says, “Self care isn’t selfish!” It’s typically written in some kind of flowy font on top of a photo of a woman in a bubble bath.  

But, for the number of times you’ve seen that meme, ‘liked’ that meme, nodded along with that meme, and even repeated that meme to other people in your life, do you actually practice it? 

When the rubber hits the road and you have to choose between showing up for someone else’s wants and needs when you’re maxed out and need a break, what do you choose? 

Time and time again, we see people forego their own needs to continue to deliver for, show up for, and take care of others, and it’s to their own detriment. 

In this episode, we’re tackling this head-on by addressing one fundamental truth: If so many people are relying on you, that means you’re a very important person in that equation. It means you’re an asset. And an asset is something that needs to be protected in order to retain its value.  

Let that sink in. 

You are the asset. 

Protect the asset. 

Consider this our battle-cry to achievers everywhere! If you play an important role in others’ lives, you need to protect yourself so that you can continue to show up the way you want to and the way they need you to.  

You are the asset. 

INTRODUCING ASCEND: 

During this episode, we announced the beta release of our signature psych strength building program, Ascend. We couldn’t be more excited to send this baby out into the world!  

As a beta program, we’re releasing it at the lowest price it will ever be. If you’ve ever considered doing something for yourself. To build your own psychological strength and resilience. To dive deep into understanding yourself. To design your life around YOU. This program is for you. 

Have you ever been frustrated by self-help gurus and other people who tell you to become your best self, focus on gratitude, and show up as the person you want to be....all the while, they’ve never faced a day of adversity in their lives? 

The thing is, gratitude is easy when life is easy. It’s easy to show up as our best when life is going well.  

But, the rubber hits the road when life gets tough and we have to put this information, tools, and techniques to work in difficult times. Today, we’re talking to a man who did just that. 

Michael Arterberry grew up in a very difficult set of circumstances. The son of an alcoholic father, Michael experienced incredible hardship. Poverty. Crime. Bad outside influences. His early days had all the makings of a life that goes down a bad path. 

But, at a very young age, Michael tapped into something POWERFUL: the legacy he wanted to leave behind and the life he wanted to build for his future kids and family. And, that powerful motivator helped him reinvent himself into the man he is today.  

During our conversation, we talk about: 

• Being the driver of our own life, and the forces that are typically in the drivers’ seat for many of us 
• Actionable activities you can do to take back your keys when you’re not in charge. 
• How we can change our own identity & change the course of our lives through reinvention...and ways to do just that. 
• The legacy he wants to leave for his family & why that is so impactful for all of us to think about 

You can find out more about Michael by visiting www.michaelarterberry.com. You can also learn about his organization the Youth Voices Center, check out his online course at www.shakethedirtexperience.com, and read Michael’s book “Be Encouraged.”