Building Psychological Strength

If you’re a parent, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that these are very difficult times. During this global pandemic, parents are being asked to simultaneously do multiple different jobs at the same time, and the expectations and evaluations we’re placing on ourselves can be crushing. 

I recently stumbled upon a meme on Facebook, of all things, and I knew that I had to reach out to its author to ask her to come on the podcast.  

Here’s an excerpt from that meme: 

Working, parenting, and teaching are three different jobs that cannot be done at the same time. It’s not hard because you’re doing it wrong. It’s hard because it’s too much. Do the best you can. 

Such compassionate words that so many of us need to hear right now. Words written by this week’s guest, Dr. Emily King.  

Dr. Emily King is a Licensed Psychologist and Heath Services Provider in private practice in Raleigh, North Carolina. She specializes in working with children and adolescents with anxiety, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum Disorders. Dr. King received her Ph.D. in School Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. 

In this episode we touch on: 

• The importance of self-compassion in times like these 
• How you can use anchor points in your routine to help everyone feel more comfortable where they’re at in their day 
• The unique needs that kids might have during these times and how we can help them thrive through them. 
• What self-care looks like and how we can cultivate it to help us show up as our best 
• How to cultivate more compassionate, open communication with our partners and spouses during this intense time 

I know you’re going to appreciate this conversation with Dr. Emily King. Please share this with another parent who might need some compassion during this time. 

Peak mind is currently offering bi-weekly (2 / week) psych strength building workshops absolutely FREE. Sign up for the Peak Mind Starter Pack at www.peakmindpsychology.com/start to get all the details about how you can join us and to access the replays from past calls. 

Peak mind is currently offering bi-weekly (2 / week) psych strength building workshops absolutely FREE. Sign up for the Peak Mind Starter Pack at www.peakmindpsychology.com/start to get all the details about how you can join us and to access the replays from past calls. 

If you’re searching for tools and techniques to help you maintain resilience in the face of the uncertain times we’re in, this episode is for you. 

A few months back, I had the pleasure of speaking with Ariel Garten, mindfulness expert, and Founder of the company Muse. Muse makes a brain-sensing headband that helps people meditate more effectively. 

Through my connection with Ariel, I was able to get an interview with this week’s guest. Patricia Karpas is a former media executive, the Head of Content for Muse, and the founder of Meditation Studio, a 5-star meditation app. She’s with us this week to help us understand the power of mindfulness during uncertain times like these and, more importantly, to help us get started.  

During this episode we talk about: 

• What mindfulness means in these uncertain times 
• The benefits of meditation both now and in our normal lives 
• How your breath serves as an anchor in times of panic and chaos 
• The impact of meditation on the way your brain responds to threats 
• The importance of a gratitude practice 

We also highlight a number of resources for you: 

• An Unteathered Soul 
• Calm Collection on Meditation Studio 
• Stress Less on Muse  

I hope this episode serves as an actionable tool for you to cultivate a practice that will benefit you now and well into the future. Please share this with someone else who might benefit.

As we move through these uncertain times together, I want to do everything I can to help you build and maintain the psychological strength you’ll need to thrive through this adversity.  

We founded Peak Mind to help you navigate times exactly like this.  

Life is not always perfect. Sometimes gratitude is more difficult to find. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is do our best to remain calm and keep a balanced mindset. 

Psychological strength can help you do just that. 

This episode is the first of a series of episodes that I plan to do to help you navigate the complex thoughts and feelings that might be coming up as we face the coming weeks and months. 

In today’s episode, I discuss a few things: 

• First, we discuss the brain science behind why we all feel so anxious as our day-to-day lives are so different from the way they once were. You are not alone in your feelings. They are very normal and quite natural and adaptive. 
• I talk about how our natural response to uncertainty is to try to control our circumstances. This helps explain why we as a group have responded in some of the ways that we have (hello, toilet paper). 
• Finally, I end with a hands-on exercise that you can do to help find a more grounded, centered, balanced mindset during times that you might feel anxious or worried. 

The fact of the matter is, there is a threat out there. The corona virus is real. However, I hope that the information and exercise in this episode helps you remain calm and centered, even as you move through a period of great uncertainty and change. 

As an additional resource, Peak Mind will be offering free, virtual psychological strength-building sessions to those people enrolled in our free Starter Pack module. We are offering these sessions to help build community and offer information, support, and actionable tools to help you move through the coming weeks and months. 

Head over to https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/starter-pack to sign up for free and be notified about the details of these sessions. 

What if I told you that it is literally possible for you to choose the way you’re going to feel in nearly every situation in life? 

As it turns out, decades of research into the connection between thoughts and emotions shows us that it is, and we’re digging deep into it this week.  

This week, we’re speaking with Dr. Sasha Heinz. Dr. Heinz is a Developmental Psychologist and Life Coach, is an expert in Positive Psychology, lasting behavioral change, and the science of getting unstuck. She is a graduate of Harvard University, a former faculty member at the University of Pennsylvania’s Master of Applied Positive Psychology program, a working mom, and she has lived life on the frontline of the battle with perfectionism. 

This episode is such a powerful one because it has the ability to change your day-to-day life experience. 

We dig into: 

• The link between situations, thoughts, emotions, and actions, and the order in which they happen 
• We talk about the importance of cultivating emotional fluency 
• We dive DEEP into guilt and the sneaky ways our mind propagates it 
• Then we talk about what to do to change all of that 

I’m so proud of myself because there were about a dozen rabbit holes I didn’t go down in this interview in the effort of keeping us focused. Rest assured, Dr. Heinz will be back for another episode soon. 

Until then, please enjoy this interview and think about how you might use the tips in this episode to help improve your own emotional experience. 

Unless you’ve been living so far off the grid that a global pandemic can’t reach you anyways, you’ve heard about the coronavirus. You’ve probably also been affected in some way. Events have been cancelled. Businesses and schools have closed or shifted to remote options. Supplies at grocery stores have sold out in places, and the stock market has plummeted.

With organizations like the WHO and CDC issuing the need for safety precautions and various levels of government calling various states of emergency, it’s hard not to worry…or worry that you’re not worrying enough.

For more than a decade, Ashley's day job as a clinical psychologist has been helping people learn to manage anxiety effectively. Because so many people are feeling anxiety and worry, we wanted to share a few tips to help you keep your cool while staying safe.

• Here are some more credible resources about dealing with the coronavirus: https://adaa.org/finding-help/coronavirus-anxiety-helpful-resources
• Here are other episodes of the podcast that focus on anxiety

Pop quiz! On a scale from 1-10, how uncomfortable does it make you feel to think about negotiating on your own behalf? 

Now, on a scale from 1-10, how uncomfortable does it make you feel to think about negotiating on someone else’s behalf?  

For a lot of us, the thought of asking for something for ourselves is TERRIFYING. The self-doubt kicks in so fast. “Am I being fair?” “Is my performance really worth that much?” “What if they think I’m difficult to work with?” 

So many of us have that experience, and that’s why we’re diving into the topic this week.  

This week we’re speaking with Ruzana Glaeser. co-founder of brightmeetsbrave.com, a website aimed to empower women to ask on their own behalf.  

Ruzana has experience negotiating for manufacturing and retail companies, in the US and abroad, for large corporations as well as small privately held firms. She has a direct yet collaborative approach to negotiations, enjoys working with women and speaking about how women can find confidence to negotiate on their own behalf and succeed! 

During this interview, we talk about: 

• What gender roles and stereotypes actually are and the role they play in negotiations 
• Our fear of backlash and what to do about it
• How to cultivate a sense of self-worth to help you be more confident in the size of your ask 
• The amazing role men can play in your negotiation 
• Actionable tips for prep, execution, follow-up 

I encourage you to take a broad view of how negotiation plays into your life. The tips and information in this episode can help you in your job, in your relationships, and in so many other facets of life.  

Help us create our next core program by participating in our survey: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/survey  

Have you ever had to persist even though you wanted to give up?  

Have you ever had to admit to yourself that you have a limited capacity of energy or bandwidth and had to be strategic about how you spend your time and energy?  

Have you ever had to transition into a new identity and felt sadness at the identity and lifestyle you’re leaving behind? 

If you said ‘yes’ to any of those questions, this week’s interview is for you. This week, we’re speaking with Brian Weaver, entrepreneur, father, husband, and former elite amateur IronMan athlete. 

Brian spent years in the sport of IronMan, ranking as high as No. 1 in the world for his class. He knows exactly what it feels like to have to persist when you want to quit. He intimately understands the strategy it takes to work within your limited amount of energy, and he’s masterful at setting up the strategies, systems, and supportive environments to help him achieve his goals. 

And we get to learn from him this week! 

In his episode, we cover: 

• The strategic approach Brian took to create space in his busy life to compete in IronMan.  
• We talked about the importance of time management and a supportive network of people in helping you achieve your goals. 
• He gives priceless advice on the importance of self-awareness and knowing where your strengths and weaknesses are so that you can strategically approach each of them. 
• He also speaks in depth about how to manage your limited amount of energy in a given day using a brilliant metaphor about a book of matches. 
• Finally, he talks about his experience as he has transitioned out of the sport and what it has meant to leave that identity behind.  

This episode is full of so much wisdom from someone who has competed at an elite level, and he breaks it all down to make it applicable to our daily lives.  

Some of you might know that I recently turned 40! Beyond the typical celebration, cake, and candles that come with any birthday, something stood out as unique about this one. 

The reactions of people around me when I told them the age I was turning. 

Some people were very positive. They wished me a “happy birthday,” and that was the end of it. 

But many people seemed conflicted about the number 40. Their reactions felt as though they knew that the number 40 means something for woman. An indication that I was growing old…and all that comes with that in our society. 

We’re digging right into the heart of that topic in this week’s episode with Stephanie Raffelock. Stephanie is an advocate for the positive potential of aging. She proves that women aren’t finished living their best lives at 50, 60 and beyond, but instead, hold to the promise to become the wise elders of our culture. Stephanie celebrates age and shows how it’s a privilege to grow old -- how every single day is a gift.  

We talk about some powerful topics in this episode: 

• The importance of remaining relevant and making an impact throughout our entire lives 
• Where we put our value as a person 
• How we experience difficult emotions, and more importantly, the lessons they can teach us (you won’t want to miss this conversation) 
• What it means to live life in a rapture of the experience 
• The toxicity of the word “should,” and the underlying shame that fuels its impact 
• What supporting other women really looks like 
• And finally, the importance of asking yourself what kind of person you want to be remembered as and how you want to feel on your last day 

This is a deeply powerful episode. It’ll ask you to confront some of your biggest desires and fears as a human being, but in doing so, you’ll grow so much. I just know it. 

• “A Delightful Little Book on Aging” 
• StephanieRaffelock.com 

I stumbled upon this week’s guest on Lewis Howes’ podcast, ‘The School of Greatness,’ and I was only about 5 minutes into that episode when I realized that she needed to be on our show as well.  

This week, we’re speaking with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, clinical psychologist and author of the new book “Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression.”  

This is such a powerful episode because Dr. Rutherford’s work hits on some of the basic things we can all do to foster self-compassion and self-acceptance.   

In this episode, Margaret shares with us: 

• Three different types of perfectionism and how they link to and mask depression 
• The link between perfectly hidden depression and where we place our value as a human being 
• The role that shame plays in perpetuating this cycle 
• How to accept ourselves and develop self-compassion for our whole selves, not just our strengths  

Margaret also gives us a peek into the methodology she teaches in her book by offering 3 actionable steps you can take to develop even greater self-awareness in this area and move forward in the direction of ridding yourself from some of the shame you might be feeling.  

This episode is a powerful reminder of the importance of taking care of ourselves and loving our whole selves, faults and all.  

• https://drmargaretrutherford.com/
• Episode 0160 - High Functioning Anxiety

Sometimes, the most difficult issues to work on are the ones that are in our blind spots. The ones that are masked by external factors or achievements that make us believe that we’re ok….when we aren’t. 

This week, we’re talking about one of those potential blind spots: high-functioning anxiety. 

This week we’re speaking with Nancy Jane Smith. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor with eleven years in private practice and has spent 20+ years working as a counselor/coach. She has written three books on living happier, most notably The Happier Approach: Be Kind to Yourself, Feel Happier and Still Accomplish Your Goals. 

Much of Nancy’s work involves working with people who have high-functioning anxiety, which is an incredibly sneaky form of anxiety, and it’s not what you think. 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

• What high-functioning anxiety is. HINT: It’s not what you think! 
• The role that achievement can play in masking it for so many of us. 
• The ways in which high-functioning anxiety can cause problems in our lives 
• And ways we can start to deal with it 

The end of this episode is jam-packed with actionable steps that you can take to begin quieting your mind (and still achieve your goals). You won’t want to miss it.  

As someone who resonated with so many of the characteristics Nancy shared in this episode, I’m so excited to share this information with all of you. I hope it helps. 

Relevant Links: 

• Nancy’s book, “The Happier Approach” 
• The Self Journal (The journal April uses on a daily basis) 
• Live-Happier.com