Building Psychological Strength

My dad passed away from cancer when I was 11 years old. That one experience impacted me in all the ways you'd expect: grief, uncertainty, struggle. But, it was an unexpected lesson I learned decades after his death that was the true impact.

I learned the importance of living life by design and not by default. Of living life in a way that is aligned to who I truly am, rather than living to fulfill other people's desires and expectations. I learned how precious this 1 shot at life is, and that I need to be responsible for crafting the road ahead.

Today we're diving into the Life Design process and focusing on the first couple steps in the process. The Stanford Life Design Lab calls this process crafting your Odyssey.

In today's episode, I'll talk about my personal journey to discovering the importance and power of life design. I'll give you a high-level overview of the whole process, then we'll dive deep into the first couple of stages.

As a bonus, I've created a free activity for you all to help you begin to craft your own odyssey. Visit www.peakmindpsychology.com/desire to get free, immediate access to a guided visualization and workbook to help you get a clearer picture of the life you're hoping to design. It's my gift to you.

Your life is important. Please choose to live it by design, not by default.

Additional Resources:

1. Get free access to the visualization and workbook that accompany this episode at www.peakmindpsychology.com/desire
2. Learn about the difference between mindfulness meditation and visualization: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0316
3. Read our post on Increasing Employee Engagement: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/increasing-employee-engagement

Being a parent is tough. There's no doubting that. Helping children grow and develop into resilient, resourceful, independent adults is no easy task.

But, have you ever stopped to think about the role that brain development plays in the way in which you parent your children?

As it turns out, much of the challenging behavior we encounter when parenting especially young kids can be tied back to their brain development at that stage. Depending upon what stage their in and what "brain" their in, the way we react to challenging behavior and the way our children respond to us will differ greatly.

Today we're speaking with Allana Robinson. She s Parenting Coach and CEO of Uncommon Sense Parenting, as well as a Registered Early Childhood Educator, Mom of two, and military wife. Allana supports parents of toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarteners in understanding WHY their children are misbehaving and how to fix it without yelling, shaming, or time-outs.

During this episode, Allana gives us a simple yet accurate picture of young children's developing brains. She talks about how to recognize when children are relying on different parts of their brain and uses color-coding to make it quick and easy to understand. Finally, and most importantly, Allana talks about how we can adjust our response to our kids depending upon what "brain" they're in.

As a parent of two young children, I got so much out of this episode, and I know you will too!

Additional Resources:

1. Listen to my interview with Doug Noll about the role of emotions in conflict: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0321
2. Learn how to cultivate a better mother-daughter relationship with Dr Michelle Deering: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0324
3. Sign up for Allana's free class: https://www.allanarobinson.com/freeclass/

The self-help and personal development space has EXPLODED over the past handful of years, and that explosion in content and complexity has left us asking one, simple question:

How DO we live the best, most aligned life possible?

Today we're digging into this big, complex question with some cutting edge research on process-based psychology. Recently Dr. Steven Hayes and other researchers on his team examined over 55,000 research studies to uncover the 30 or so core processes that we can focus on in order to improve our mental wellbeing and the way we experience life. That's what we're digging into on today's episode.

Today's guest is Dr. Diana Hill. She is a clinical psychologist and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get unstuck and live fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Through her online teachings, executive coaching, clinical supervision, and private therapy practice, Diana encourages clients to build psychological flexibility so that they can live more meaningful and fulfilling lives. She is the founder and host of the new podcast show Your Life in Process and a co-founder of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. Diana blogs for Psychology Today and offers regular workshops in compassion and ACT for clinicians and the general public.

In this episode we talk about what process-based therapy is. We talk about some of the core processes included in it and how to use them to thrive in our lives. We get into some of the most basic processes of mindfulness and our relationship to our thoughts and how we can use these processes to pivot into taking the actions we truly want to take in our lives...rather than the ones that are holding us back.

Additional Resources:

1. Listen to my first interview with Dr. Diana Hill: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0322
2. Dig into the difference between the techniques of mindfulness and visualization: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0316
3. Check out this blog post about creating the conditions to thrive in your life: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/Creating-the-conditions-to-thrive

Many of us believe that we are self-aware, but when we actually assess people, only about 10-15% of people actually are. Shocking huh?!

Self-awareness is a skill that sits at the center of so many psychological strength concepts, and that is what we're digging into today.

Be forewarned! Today's episode is an episode that you DO, not an episode that you passively listen to. It's meant to deepen your awareness of yourself by asking you questions meant to uncover nuance, insight, and connection. This one is for you if you're ready to go DEEP.

Grab a journal, grab a pen, go for a walk, and liberally use the pause button on this one. Carve out some time, and dedicate it to getting to know yourself on a deeper level.

Additional Resources:

1. Listen to my interview with Dr. Steven Hayes, founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0143
2. Want to cultivate a better relationship with yourself? Here's how: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0315
3. Want to go even further? Catch this episode for 5 life-changing practices you can implement in your life TODAY: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0330

Because of the way our minds operate, human beings struggle with change. No matter whether the change is a net positive or net negative change, whether it's big or small. All change causes some degree of friction and difficulty. And we've all weathered a LOT of it in the past few years.

On today's episode, we're diving into the topic of change. First and foremost, we'll talk about why change is difficult for us. Turns out, you're not weak! You don't lack resilience! You're simply a human being with a mind, and our human mind's HATE change. Tune in, and you'll learn why.

Then we'll dive into one of the models of change that I really like as a way of understanding how we as human beings move through change. We'll talk about the difference between a "change" and a "transition." We'll talk about the fundamental principles of the mind that are impacted when we experience a change and how we ultimately move on to get to the other side of a change.

Finally, I'll offer a handful of resources to help you navigate your own change or to help others navigate theirs. These are proven, valuable techniques for supporting yourself and others during some of the most volatile times.

We've all been through a lot, and there's likely more change to come. But, it IS POSSIBLE to thrive through change with the right tools.

Additional Resources:

1. Try out Emotion Sifting by visiting this blog post: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/Emotional-Intelligence-Sifting-Through-Grey-Emotional-Sludge
2. Learn more about the science of self-compassion with this episode from the podcast vault: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0254
3. Ready to design your work life? Check out this blog post for some tips: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/do-you-feel-stuck-at-work
4. Be one of the first 5 people to review this episode of the podcast and email a screenshot of your review to [email protected] and get a free copy of my Life Design Transformation Blueprint! Submit your review here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/building-psychological-strength/id1182817399

"Follow your passion!" How many times have you heard that? How many people have you spoken to lately who are either quitting their jobs or thinking about quitting because they lack passion? Many would argue that this is one of the biggest drivers behind "The Great Resignation" that we're all hearing so much about these days.

But, what if there's a problem with following your passion?

This week's guest, Erin Cech is an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Michigan. Her research investigates how seemingly benign and taken-for-granted cultural beliefs reproduce workforce inequalities.

In her recent book "The Trouble with Passion: How Searching for Fulfillment at Work Fosters Inequality," Erin teases apart some of the hidden issues with searching for passion and fulfillment solely from your job. She talks about how:

1. Searching for passion can perpetuate societal cycles that promote inequality
2. Our sense of identity can become wrapped up in our job and can suffer when we are laid off or experience a big shift in our careers
3. Our passion is something that can be cultivated and fulfilled in MANY ways in our lives, and by focusing solely on our jobs, we limit ourselves.

We have a great discussion at the end about the micro- (individual) and macro- (societal) shifts that could occur to help all of us experience more passion and balance in our work. You won't wan to miss it!

Additional Resources:

1. Finding Flow at Work (Peak Mind blog post): https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/finding-flow-at-work
2. Designing Your Work Life (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3rV4a0T
3. Episode 0318 Psych Strength & Flexible Work Arrangements: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0318
4. Buy Erin's Book (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3lV2yjQ
5. Follow Erin on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CechErin

Have you ever been talking to someone, and you felt like they just weren't understanding what you were saying?

Or maybe you're are in a relationship with someone, whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or professional relationship and you can't believe the other person NEVER asks your thoughts. Or the flip side. You feel like you have to PRY thoughts out of them.

One more. Have you ever been in an important conversation with someone and ended up talking over each other? Almost as thought you're in a dance where BOTH OF YOU is trying to lead?

Turns out that understanding your communication style and the style of other important people in your life can help you communicate more effectively and effortlessly. That's what we're talking about today.

Today we're diving into a model that is over 3 decades old, but I still find it so useful. It's the Social Styles of Communication model. In this model, there are 2 different continuums that divide people into 4 different communication styles. We'll go over all of that in this episode, and we'll talk about how you can more effectively communicate with other important people in your own life.

Additional Resources:

1. Episode 0311 with Peter Montoya about having effective political conversations: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0311
2. Episode 0138 with AmyK Hutchens about handling some of our toughest conversations with empathy and intention: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0138

Today we're using life design to work on a very common problem these days: working from home. You've likely experienced what I have - working from home has its benefits, but it also brings with it unique challenges. And, life design is the exact approach to take in order to work through challenging situations.

Let's design your WFH life!

Today, we're going to go through 4 different challenges when you're working from home. Inside each one, I'll prompt you to come up with ways to experiment in order to steer your workday in alignment with what's truly important to you.

During the episode I mentioned a bunch of links. Here they are:

1. If you want to know which pens I talk about, they're right here.
2. Here is a link to the Self Journal
3. Here is how to hide your own face on Zoom meetings
4. Finally, here is a link to last week's episode, and here is a link to get the free guide that accompanies it.

Finally, if you're one of the first 3 people to submit a review for the podcast after this episode comes out, you'll win a free 30-minute Life Design intensive with me. Simply be one of the first 3 people to take a screenshot of your review and email it to [email protected].

Additional Resources:

1. Design Your Way through 2022 (blog post): https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/design-your-way-through-2022
2. Episode 0314 - The Secret to Effective Prioritization: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0314
3. Episode 0288 - Structure Creates Flexibility: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0288

I say it all the time - I actually practice the things I preach on this podcast. In fact, the improvement in my life experience that I've seen since beginning this podcast is one of the best, most unexpected side effects of the podcast!

The last 2 years have been exceptionally challenging for all of us, but I truly believe that it has been a handful of life-changing practices that have sustained me and helped me thrive through it. These practices have transformed the way I experience my own life, and in this episode, I want to share them with you.

Today's episode is the very first episode in season 6 of the podcast. It's also coming out a mere 2 days before my 42nd birthday! So, as a gift to you, we're diving into 5 life-changing psych strength practices and 5 different ways to implement each practice. That's TWENTY-FIVE different actions you can take to build psych strength.

And, because this episode is so dense with information, I've created a free guide to accompany the episode. You can get a copy of it here. In this guide, you'll find all of the actions I cover underneath each of the 5 life-changing practices. I also included a bunch of supplemental content: extra hands-on exercises, templates, and resources to help you jump-start your practice. You won't want to miss the opportunity to grab this guide.

As you begin your new year, I truly hope you put yourself first. I hope you adopt some practices that help you build psychological strength, and I hope you experience the life-changing transformation that I've been experiencing.

Cheers to 2022!

Additional Resources:

1. Download your free guide at www.peakmindpsychology.com/fivepractices

Have you ever been in the position of being the only man / woman / non-binary / person of color / non-native speaker / etc in the room? How did that feel? How comfortable did you feel? How free did you feel to be your true, authentic self? How psychologically safe did you feel?

Today, we're speaking with Stephanie Roldan about the topics of psychological safety and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DE&I).

Stephanie Roldan is the Director of Lean Culture at Rosendin Electric. She leads Rosendin's Respect for People and Continuous Improvement culture, simplified as "Lean Culture." This responsibility includes developing, setting, and leading the strategy on creating an inclusive environment and sense of belonging for employees. She serves as the Chairperson for Rosendin's Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Committee and sits on the Board of Directors for the AZ Foundation for Women.

As a woman in the construction industry, Stephanie knows first-hand what it feels like to be "the only" one in the room. She also knows the importance of cultivating a psychologically safe culture and the impact it can have for bringing people together. The impact it can have for helping us all to feel like we can fully express ourselves. And the impact it can have on creating a more equitable workplace.

During our conversation, Stephanie and I have a deep conversation about the experience of being "the only" one in the room. We talk about the importance of psychological safety and how norms around our social groups influence the way we show up and the way others react to us. We talk about the importance of being curious, cultivating connected relationships, being open, and sharing our own stories as a way to create increase connection and empathy. We talk about this and so much more. You won't want to miss this important conversation.

Additional Resources:

1. Episode 0016: Develop the Mind of a Superhero
2. SHRM DE&I Resources
3. Connect with Stephanie on LinkedIn