Building Psychological Strength

You all know how much I love life design. This time of the year, it's especially relevant. So many of us take stock of our lives and think about changes we might want to make, and life design provides a set of tools and techniques to help us do that more effectively.

Today, We're speaking with Ben Oosterveld. Ben is a real estate entrepreneur who built a real estate investment company that held 61 properties with investors in 4 different cities. After getting his real estate license, he built a multi million-dollar real estate business with an award winning top national team in 3 years. Today, Ben helps business owners get clear about who they really are and what they really want. He helps them make the right changes in their business and life with the new goal of building a life they love. His focus is on coaching, speaking and running personal growth retreats.

During this episode we dive deep into the importance of defining your "compass" or the type of life you actually want to live. We talk about the importance of finding happiness along the way, not just when we achieve an external goal. And, Ben has some special advice for the entrepreneurs in the crowd.

Additional Resources:

1. Episode 206: The Calendar Audit
2. Hedonic Treadmill

Over the last 5 seasons, we've covered so many practices that we can build into our lives in order to help us thrive. But, there's one topic that we haven't really covered in any depth: creativity. Turns out, creative endeavors like painting, sculpting, poetry, dance, and other mediums tie so well into many schools of thought about how to help us thrive. That's precisely what we're diving into today!

Today we're speaking with Morgan Beard. Morgan has dedicated her life to using creativity to heal and empower. She received her BA in Visual and Media Studies from Duke University in 2012 and her MPS in Art Therapy from the School of Visual Arts in New York City in 2017. As an art therapist in New York, she worked in a public elementary school, an adult inpatient psychiatric unit, and a 183-bed nursing home. She currently lives in LA and works as a life coach using art and creativity to help people thrive.

Additional Resources:

1. Episode 183: The Self Care Pyramid
2. Self-Care [by design] mini-course
3. Martin Seligman's PERMA Model: https://positivepsychology.com/perma-model/
4. Learn more about Morgan at www.morganbeard.coach

Have you ever stopped to consider just how often fear influences how you think, feel, and react? Sometimes, this impact can be slight, and we're able to quickly move past it. However, other times, these feelings of fear can be so intense that they stop us in our tracks. They lead us to feel trapped.

Today, we're talking about the notion of 'fear traps' with Dr. Nancy Stella. Dr. Stella has been a leading clinical psychologist in the Cincinnati area for over twenty five years, co-owning and growing one of Ohio's largest private, multi-specialty mental health practices. She developed the Courageous Brain Process (CBP)—an innovative, science-based method of therapy. Rooted in the most up-to-date neuroscience, it bypasses the shortcomings of traditional talk therapy to change the way our brains process fear. Her first book, Fear Traps: Escaping the Triggers that Keep You Stuck, gives readers proven practices for building courage and resilience.

Additional Resources:

1. Learn more about Dr. Stella by visiting https://www.nancystella.com/
2. Learn more about the Ascend program: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/ascend
3. The Brain Science Behind Fear [blog post]
4. Episode 0133 "The Courage Habit" with Kate Swoboda

December is here, which means New Years is right around the corner, bringing with it goals for creating better habits and changing our lives for the better. Except, habits are stinking hard to change!!

Our minds are hard-wired to make habitual behaviors very difficult to change, but it's not impossible. In today's episode, we're diving into the habit change literature to help set you up for success to change the habits you want to change in the coming year.

Today, we'll talk about what habits are. There are 3 parts to them, and most people focus on the least important part. Then, we'll talk about some tips for making two kinds of habit changes. The first is what I'm calling 'subtractive habits.' These are behaviors we want to eliminate or do less of. Then, we'll talk about 'additive habits,' or behaviors we want to add or do more of. In both cases, I'll offer you some science-backed tips to set yourself up to be more successful, whatever type of behavior change you're hoping to make.

Last, I'll offer you a couple of resources, linked below. We have a treasure trove of goodies in the Peak Mind vault all centered on habit formation and change, and we've linked to it all below.

Finally, if you haven't heard yet, Peak Mind is teaming up with the Heart Mind Institute and Wisdom for Life to bring you the free, 10-day 'Best Year of Your Life' online summit. Over 10 days you'll hear from some of the most famous, world-renown psychologists, teachers, and visionaries, and it's completely free. Hundreds of you have already signed up, and we're so excited to see you there. Click the link below to secure your free spot.

Here's to you and to forming better habits in the new year!

Additional Resources:

1. Peak Mind vault on habit change: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog?tag=habits
2. Sign up for the 'Best Year of Your Life' online summit: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/bestyear

Being a parent is hard. It's a fact. If there's one relationship that requires us to be psychologically strong, it's the relationship we cultivate with our kids.

This week, we're diving deep into the Mother-Daughter relationship. Specifically, we're talking about how we can cultivate the type of relationship with our daughters that we want to have, all while keeping ourselves sane at the same time. So, how can we raise empowered daughters while thriving ourselves? That's exactly what we're digging into with Dr. Michelle Deering.

Before running her consulting business, Dr. Michelle Deering served as a licensed psychologist and board -certified sport psychologist at a BIG 10 University, Fortune 500 corporate trainer, and higher education professional. Nowadays you’ll find her speaking at conferences, training for her next Reebok Spartan Sprint Race, and practicing rudiments on her drum kit — all while coaching, serving clients, and recording her hit podcast, Mother Daughter Connections™. Dr. Deering is a graduate of Brown University and is a licensed psychologist and board-certified sports psychologist.

Additional Resources:

1. Episode 321: The Critical Role of Emotions in Managing Conflict
2. Take our FREE healthy selfishness & pathological altruism quiz: www.peakmindpsychology.com/quiz
3. Get a copy of Dr. Deering's free guide: The Quick Guide To Lessen Arguments
4. Learn more about Dr. Deering's work: https://www.curativeconnections.com/meet-dr-michelle-deering/

So, you've taken the time to define what your personal values are. Amazing! Knowing your personal values is an important step in helping you align your life and your decision-making in the direction that is right for you.

But, let me ask you this: when you look at your actual behavior, the decisions you're making, the way you're spending your time, does it reflect those values? Are your values important to you in CONCEPT or in ACTION?

Today, we're talking about the topic of personal values from a different lens. From the lens of ACTION. It's one thing to say a value is important to you in a conceptual way. However, if your behavior, actions, and decision-making don't follow, you'll still experience the same level of cognitive dissonance and incongruence. In today's episode, I urge you to take action on your values. To define what they truly mean to you and to begin setting boundaries, making decisions, and saying no when things don't align. To behave in congruence.

It's hard, but it's so worth it!

Additional Resources:

1. Episode 182: "Resentment Grows Where a Boundary Needs to be Planted"
2. Episode 242: "Curate Your Life and Manage Your Energy"
3. Episode 314: "The Secret to Effective Prioritization"

There are a few things I hear from clients more often than anything else. "How do I move forward when I'm afraid?" or "How do I stop my inner critic?" or "I feel stuck in my old ways and am having a hard time changing." These complaints may sound like big, difficult problems, and they definitely feel that way when you're the one experiencing them. But, the antidote to each and every one of them is one foundational concept: psychological flexibility.

Psychological flexibility is a concept that has risen in the field of psychology over the past decade or so, spearheaded by the work of Dr. Steven Hayes, the founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Today, we're speaking with another practitioner of ACT and psychological flexibility, Dr. Diana Hill. In this conversation, we talk about what psychological flexibility is, and how it applies to so many different situations in our lives.

We have a particularly deep conversation about how it applies in situations where we're striving. You know those times - you're fixated on achieving a goal or accomplishing a lot. You're grinding. You're working so hard. But, is it always a good thing? If you're the type of person who is driven to achieve, you're not going to want to miss the back half of this episode.

Additional Resources:

1. Learn more about Dr. Hill by visiting https://drdianahill.com
2. Episode 161: What is Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Rutherford
3. Episode 143: How to Liberate Your Mind and Pivot Toward What Matters with Dr. Steven Hayes
4. The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris [affiliate link]

When you think about effectively managing conflict, what comes to mind? Many people go straight to things like communication skills or the ability to clearly articulate a point. But, what about the role of emotion? What if we truly aren't rational beings? What if we accept the fact that we are emotional beings and approach conflict from a place of emotional intelligence?

Today I'm speaking with Doug Noll about the role of emotions in conflict and communication. This conversation is a literal masterclass about how to recognize, label, and validate our own emotions and the emotions of others. Doug offers up his 3 step process to deescalate any situation whether it's with your significant other, a co-worker, or with your kids. His emotion-centric approach is backed by some of the most cutting-edge neuroscience and has shown to be effective in nearly any setting.

Additional Resources:

1. Learn more about Doug by visiting https://dougnoll.co/psychologicalstrength
2. Want help sifting through your own complex emotions? Check out this Peak Mind blog post: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/Emotional-Intelligence-Sifting-Through-Grey-Emotional-Sludge
3. Check out Episode 221 of the podcast to learn how to win every argument: https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/0221

Today is a very special episode for those of you who are high-achievers, those who tend toward perfectionism, and those who have a lot on your plate right now. Many times, in our quest to be more productive, we find ourselves using tactics that simply aren't effective. The crazy thing is that we feel like we're doing the right thing or increasing our efficiency, but from a brain science perspective, we're doing more harm than good.

Today, we're speaking with Dr. Nicole Byers, a neuropsychologist, about ways we can truly become more productive. She talks about why some of the typical advice of grinding it out or multi-tasking simply doesn't work. She talks about practical ways to set up our workday to be more effective. She also gives great tips about how to transition from a hectic workday into your evening with your family to have some capacity and mental space left to be present with those you love.

This episode is full of practical tips you can put to work in your life today in order to be more effective and productive.

Additional Resources:

1. Learn more about Dr. Byers by visiting https://www.drnicolebyers.com/
2. Peak Mind's Blog Post "Why is this Decision So Hard?!": https://www.peakmindpsychology.com/blog/How-to-Overcome-Indecisiveness
3. Patrick McGinnis' TED talk about FOBO: https://www.ted.com/talks/patrick_mcginnis_how_to_make_faster_decisions#t-97978

Today, we're myth-busting the topics of resilience, thriving through adversity, and post-traumatic growth. We've all heard about these topics, but unfortunately, the belief that we walk away with is that true "resilience" means we can skip through the truly challenging times that life throws at us.

It's simply not true.

Resilience does NOT mean you somehow don't experience the stress, anxiety, or negative emotions that are perfectly natural consequences of a difficult or challenging time. In fact, during truly challenging times, we worry more if you aren't experiencing those effects.

Rather, resilience, thriving through adversity, and post-traumatic growth have more to do with what happens as a result of a challenging situation. That's the focus of today's episode. Today we talk about how to support yourself through challenging times, but mostly, we talk about what to do afterward. What we make the situation mean. How we grow from it. What we learn. Who we BECOME.

This is a powerful episode, and I hope you'll share it with someone who might benefit from it.

Additional Resources:

• Emotional sifting: Helpful blog post, Emotion Wheel