Building Success Habits

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” –George Bernard Shaw

The inner Fool is never far away from us. It is the archetype that precedes even the innocent. The Fool is the aspect of the inner child that knows how to play, to be sensual and in the body. It is at the root of our basic sense of Vitality and aliveness, which expresses itself as a primitive, childlike, spontaneous, playful creativity.

The Fool is the beginning and the end of the journey.

When the fool is active in our lives, we are motivated by curiosity and want to explore and experiment with life. It is a time when we have little or no interest in being responsible, at least not for others, for we want most of all to be free. This means free from duties, responsibilities, deadlines, even relationships that might demand things from us that are not fun, and from possessions.

The contribution of the Fool to our lives is resilience, the capacity to get up and try again.

There are five levels of the Creator:

Shadow - Self- indulgence, sloth, gluttony, irresponsibility

Call - Boredom, ennui, desire to have more enjoyment in life

Spiral One - Life is a game to be played for the fun of it (Fool)

Spiral Two - Cleverness used to trick others, to get out of trouble, to find ways around obstacles, to tell the truth without impunity (Trickster)

Spiral Three - Life is experienced fully in the moment; life is celebrated for its own sake and lived in the moment, one day at a time (Wise Fool or Jester)

Meditate on the funniest and most enjoyable moments in your life that's far. Think of one fun or funny moment after another. Imagine yourself telling humorous stories about these events. Continue at least until you find yourself laughing out loud.

Claiming Your Hero’s Story Identifying your own great story (or stories) helps you to find something of your own specialness in a way that helps you understand the significance of your own life. No one but you can tell this story because you are the only one who knows what you are here to do or to learn.

E41 Your Life Story/Your Life Myth |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz “Myths are made for the imagination to breathe life into them.”---Albert Camus Finding the great story that informs your life is a sacred task. To know your story is to know who you are. It is not to be taken lightly, although it does not have to be unduly heavy either. If you know your own great story, you are much less likely to sell yourself short, to get confused by the inessential, or to let others manipulate you or talk you into being less than you could be. For most of our lives, many of us feel as if we are traveling without a map. We know we're moving, but we have no real sense of where we have been, where we are, or where we are headed. The model provided over this past season provides a general map for the journey but it is a generic map, not one tailored to your individual life. Your own great story will very likely have one or two dominant archetypes, and very definitely will include many different archetypal elements, but the way you put them together will be unique – and your own. The first step to writing your story is finding your dominant Myth. The best way to determine your dominant myth is to write or otherwise express your life story, as honestly as you know how, and then notice its underlying plot structure. The danger of not knowing one's life myth is that it is possible to continually judge oneself by the standard of a journey that is not their own. For example, someone whose compelling Myth is that of the Lover may continue to be apologetic about his or her failure to achieve great feats, since most people in our culture measure themselves against the yardstick of the Myth of the Warrior and the Ruler. Someone who's informing Myth is the Ruler however may feel inadequate for failing to live simply in the moment, that is, to be a Fool. People often feel a great sense of relief after they write their story and find their informing myth, since they see that what they have been doing is, in fact, just right for them. However not everyone feels this way. When people identify the plot they have been living, they may suddenly realize that they are possessed or imprisoned, not liberated, by the story and its informing archetype. One way of talking about this is to see such a myth as one's script. Now the challenge: Write your Life Story/Life Myth. When you do, write it in an ordinary narrative way. You might want to include insights you’ve had while following this series. Think about the Archetypes that were active at different ages and add in the balance between what you have been taught to be, what you want to be and the deepest truth about your life purpose. Then write it in mythic language as a story of your heroic journey.

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S10 E42 Recognizing Your Script |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz “If we own the story then we can write the ending.” – Brene Brown Each of us has a script that has been devised in childhood as a response to what others told you about what your abilities and options were. Transactional analysis tells us that we can actually have a “script” and ”counterscript. Liberation comes when we recognize our scripts and can see if they breed positive results. Our scripts are heavily determined by outside influences. If we are named after a famous general or the toys we were given were guns and toy soldiers, we will most likely identify with the Warrior. If they bought us dolls and told us what a great mommy we would make, we are likely to identify with the Caregiver. The script is often a compensation for some early wounding. We try to come up with a plot for our lives that will keep us safer and less vulnerable to pain. This wounding is frequently the negative or limiting messages we get about ourselves or our possibilities. These scripts reflect an underlying fear that unless we act according to the script, we will not survive. When the script is read as a myth or metaphor, the way to healing that wound is also embedded in the script. The psychological function of the script is to heal us of our primary wounding so we can go on to express our true story. When we recognize that scripts have an Archetype embedded in them, we can understand that most of us are better off if we don’t fight our scripts. It is better to simply recognize them and take them to a higher level. When writing your script include the following: Who have you been scripted to be? How does this script limit your life? What might be the gift or lesson in your script?

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Connect with Londina at Londina.com Learn more about Donna here…

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TAGS: IBGR, IBGR Network, Donna Kunde, Londina Cruz, comfort zone, get out of your comfort zone, how to get out of your comfort zone, the comfort zone, what is comfort zone, leave the comfort zone, comfort zone meaning, how to expand your comfort zone, breaking out of your comfort zone, how to get out of your comfort zone tips, life begins at the end of your comfort zone, new comfort zone.

S10 E43 Steps to Write Your Life Story |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz “Life is like a blank book, you write your own story not others.” – Zihan Zheng If your hero's story seems to be a confining Myth to you, you may want to reinterpret what the Myth could mean to you. Many people find that they have two major stories active at the same time: a script and a deeper, more empowering myth. While it may be ideal to know our own Miss once and for all, it is unlikely that we will do so. Our understanding of our life tasks and our life story is an evolving one, one that is actually greatly affected by what is on top for us during the specific chronological period. during which we are writing. Any of us who gets too attached to any one version of Our Own Story, or is living out an unexamined story, needs the renewal that comes from reconsidering that story in the light of current realities. It is a good idea to update your myth frequently to see that the plot you are living is still a useful and enlivening one. Use these five steps as a guide to writing your life’s story: What was the most empowering thing anyone ever told you about yourself? Who and what has most inspired you? How's your life been altered because of this person, idea, or experience? What brings you real pleasure and satisfaction? What are you good at? What do you really love to do? Write your life story in the form of an obituary that will describe the essential truth of your life. It is not necessary to write what you think your obituary will say. Write what it would say if you fulfilled your potential in every area of life – personal and spiritual as well as professional. What would it say if you lived your life fully and on your deathbed had no regrets? What Archetypes have been active in your life? What Archetypes would have to be active in your life for you to fulfill your potential?

Make sure you leave some thoughts in the comment section below. We are interested in continuing the conversation.

Connect with Londina at Londina.com Learn more about Donna here…

Listen to Live: IBGR.Network Subscribe to Our Podcast: Building Success Habits Podcast

TAGS: IBGR, IBGR Network, Donna Kunde, Londina Cruz, comfort zone, get out of your comfort zone, how to get out of your comfort zone, the comfort zone, what is comfort zone, leave the comfort zone, comfort zone meaning, how to expand your comfort zone, breaking out of your comfort zone, how to get out of your comfort zone tips, life begins at the end of your comfort zone, new comfort zone.

S10 E44 Finding a New Story |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz “Be brave enough to write your own story… And then rewrite it.” – Maria Shriver There is no way to be happy except to live out your own deep, great story. The development of the Ego requires us to develop and act out our formative story. When we experience initiation, that story begins to fail us. It is simply not adequate to guide us in the new territory we have entered. During this time, we feel conflicted, cursed with an inner struggle between two conflicting stories, and cognitive dissonance, until there is some resolution. At this point, we may not yet have any conscious knowledge of what reconciliation is. We may simply feel a void where the struggle used to be. It is often by observing our actions that we discover what the resolution is. Here are three steps to find a new story: Examine the myths or stories you have written and determine whether they enliven or interfere with your life. If there are parts of these myths or stories you wish to change, do so. Begin working on a countermyth, remembering that the key to your countermyth will be found in your fantasies. See if you can integrate the best of these two myths or stories. The difference between living a great story and living your own story is that the second one is genuinely your own story that you are living. This makes you feel deeply satisfied and there is meaning in your life. No life, no matter how successful and exciting it might be, will make you happy if it is not really your life. And no life will make you miserable if it is genuinely your own. The future we face may be a nightmare or a miracle. The choice is ours.

TAGS: IBGR, IBGR Network, Donna Kunde, Londina Cruz, hero's journey, the hero's journey, hero's journey, the hero's journey, the heroes journey, the hero's journey stages, joseph campbell hero's journey, joseph campbell hero's journey, the hero's journey joseph campbell, a hero's journey, heroes journey, joseph campbell the hero's journey, hero's journey explained, the hero's journey joseph campbell, my hero's journey, hero’s journey.

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Connect with Londina at Londina.com Learn more about Donna here…

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Journey Stage of the Hero's Journey - Becoming Real The journey always begins with a yearning. We feel discontented, confined, alienated or empty. Often we do not even have a name for what is missing, but we long for that mysterious something. The urge to seek the grail, to climb the mountain, to seek wisdom, to cross new frontiers, to achieve the formerly unachievable in all areas of life seems endemic in the human race. The Seeker starts us on the journey by responding to the call of Spirit to ascend.

S10 E33 The Seeker Deep Dive |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz “Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.”― Joseph Campbell

The Seeker seeks to find a better future or a more perfect world. The call takes different forms for different people. Always the call is to function at a higher or deeper level, to find a way to live that has more significance and depth, to find out who you are beyond the social persona that you and your environment have jointly created.

To some degree, all the forms of the quest reduce to a basic desire to encounter authenticity in oneself, in the world outside and in the cosmos as a whole.

There are five levels of the Seeker:

Shadow - Excessive ambition, perfectionism, pride, inability to commit, addictiveness in general

Call - Alienation, dissatisfaction, emptiness; opportunity knocking

Spiral One - Exploring, wandering, experimenting, studying, trying new things

Spiral Two - Ambition, climbing the ladder of success, becoming the best you can be

Spiral Three - Spiritual searching, transformation

Allow yourself to daydream about greener pastures, where you would rather be than where you are. Perhaps it’s a different partner, a different lifestyle. Then let yourself imagine how you would have to change to make it possible for you to live your fantasy. Are you willing to allow that transformation?

S10 E34 The Destroyer Deep Dive |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ― Joseph Campbell

At some point in our lives, the Destroyer within or without strikes and hollows us out and humbles us. It “wounds” us, and through that opening we are able to experience new realities. People deal with their sense of powerlessness in such situations differently. Some people simply miss the rebirth that comes after the death because they get stuck in their bitterness. It is important to feel our grief and anger about our suffering and then let go at least long enough to see the new reality on the other side. Beliefs that reassure us that everything is in control are helpful.

The Destroyer becomes our ally when we recognize the need to change or give something up without denying the pain or grief involved.

There are five levels of the Destroyer:

Shadow - Self-destructiveness (including drug and alcohol abuse, suicide) and/or destruction of others (including murder, rape, defamation of character)

Call - Experience of pain, suffering, tragedy, loss

Spiral One - Confusion, grappling with meaning of death, loss, pain

Spiral Two - Acceptance of mortality, loss and relative powerlessness

Spiral Three - Ability to choose to let go of anything that no longer supports your values, life and growth, or that of others

Begin by getting centered and quiet, then breathe deeply. Allow yourself to move through the events of your life as if you were watching the main scenes of a movie sped up for easy viewing. Let yourself feel, see, or hear the major events of your childhood, adulthood, mid-life, old age, and finally your death. In this daydream, allow yourself to “remember” events that have not yet happened. When you reach your death, spend time saying good-bye to everything that brings you pleasure – from the people and places and activities you love to ordinary things like the warmth of the sun on your skin, the feel of a brisk morning shower, the smell of a rose. Then allow yourself to watch your body being buried or cremated. Then, after some interval, allow yourself to experience whatever form of rebirth is consistent with your philosophy or theology.

S10 E35 The Lover Deep Dive |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.” ― Joseph Campbell

We can transform ourselves, to the degree that we cultivate a loving acceptance of ourselves. This means forgiving ourselves simply as a matter of habit. It also means forgiving others, since what we are very often most critical of in them is a shadow projection from within ourselves. All judgment is self judgment.

What we adore outside ourselves usually carries with it the positive shadow projection of the deep wisdom of our own Souls.

There are five levels of the Lover:

Shadow - Jealousy, envy, obsessive fixation on a love object or relationship, sexual addiction, promiscutiy, obsession with sex or pornography, or (conversely) puritanism.

Call - Infatuation, seduction, yearning, falling in love (with a person, an idea, a cause, a work)

Spiral One - Following your bliss, what you love

Spiral Two - Bonding with and making commitments to whom and what you love

Spiral Three - Radical self-acceptance giving birth to the Self and connecting the personal with the transpersonal, the individual with the collective

There are three steps to this Daydream:

Using relaxed, deep breathing to enter a meditative state, allow yourself to focus on your heart, imagining a small gold, glowing light in the center of your chest in the heart area. Imagine the gold, glowing light slowly becoming larger until it is as large as your heart, then your lungs, then the whole chest area, and finally, gradually as large as your whole body. From there imagine that light filling the room and then your community, the country, the world and finally the solar system.

Then become aware of more intense, many-colored threads of light connecting you in particular to everything you love, care about or feel strongly about. These threads may link you to stars, to the night sky, to a certain landscape, to certain animals, to places and things, and of course to people in your past or present. Take your time tracing these threads until you feel yourself at the center of a web of loving connection.

When you are ready, return your consciousness from the threads to the golden light, and allow that light to shrink from the solar system to the world, from the world to your nation, from your nation to your community, from your community to the room in which you find yourself, and finally to your body, then your chest area, your lungs, and your heart.

S10 E36 The Creator Deep Dive |IBGR | Donna Kunde & Londina Cruz

“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning. Love is a friendship set to music.” ― Joseph Campbell

When we discover or give birth to our true Selves, the Creator also comes into our lives. When we become aware of our connection with the creative source of the universe, we also begin to become aware of our part in creation.

However unified our consciousness becomes, and however true we are to ourselves, most of us are still confined by our conditioning, by the social constraints of society, and by natural laws.

When the Creator Archetype begins to be active in our lives, we often alternate between exaltation and potentially paralyzing fear.

Creating a life means to honor our experience honestly, without denial, but also as worthy and valuable. This means accepting your life as the right life for you, your body and mind as the right ones for you, even your pathologies and bad habits (although in this case, it may be the process of overcoming or dealing with them that will teach you just the lesson you need). It means coming to recognize the form of your own beauty, whether it is the beauty of your body, your mind or your character.

There are five levels of the Creator:

Shadow - Creation of negative circumstances, limited opportunities; obsessive creation, workaholism

Call - Daydreams, fantasies, images or flashes of inspiration

Spiral One - Opening to receive visions, images, hunches, inspiration

Spiral Two - Allowing yourself to know what you really want to have, do or create

Spiral Three - Experiments with creating what you imagine – allowing yourself to let your dreams come true

Imagine you had a magic wand and could change anything in your world you wanted for yourself and others. Allow yourself to imagine what you would change, and staying in the dreamy state of mind, allow the drama to unfold in your mind so that you witness the effects of your work. Allow yourself some time to process the results – to enjoy your successes and to regret any miscreations.

S10 E32 The Caregiver Deep Dive

“I think the person who takes a job in order to live - that is to say, for the money - has turned himself into a slave”.----Joseph Campbell

Unless we develop our own inner Caregiver, we will be always dependent on others to nurture and care for the child inside us. If your inner Caregiver is not very effective, it is important to seek out role models in the external world and consciously model your own behaviors on theirs. Doing this awakens a healthy sense of taking care of oneself.

There are five levels of the Caregiver:

1. Shadow - Suffering martyr; devouring mother or father; “guilt-tripping’ or guilt-ridden behavior; enabling behaviors (which aid and abet other people’s addiction, irresponsibility, or narcissism)
2. Call - Responsibilities that require care of others (like parenting) recognition of another’s neediness or dependence (or your own)
3. Spiral One - Conflict between your own needs and those of others; tendency to sacrifice your own needs to what others need or want from you; rescuing
4. Spiral Two - Learning to care for yourself so that caring for others is enriching not maiming; learning “tough love”; empowering – not doing for – others
5. Spiral Three - Generativity; willingness to care and be responsible for people (and perhaps also for animals and the earth) beyond your own immediate family and friends; community building

Imagine that you had infinite resources to share: time, money, wisdom. You do not have to work, so you spend your time wandering through the world helping anyone in need. Imagine the situations you encounter, the help you provide, the gratitude of the recipients of your generosity. Then expand the fantasy so that you also observe limits. Imagine yourself saying no as well if giving would make a Martyr of or if you would be doing for others what they could or should be doing for themselves. Let yourself also imagine others flourishing because you did not rush in to rescue them. Finally, allow yourself to imagine giving to and nurturing yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.