In this episode of Burqah & Bikini, I’m joined by sex therapist Aashita Khanna to explore the complicated relationship South Asians have with sex. Why is so much sex... bad? And how do you even know if it is?

We unpack how South Asian women are taught (or not taught) about sex, pleasure, and their own bodies, and how these messages go wrong. We also talk about global misconceptions, the flawed sex education models that extend far beyond South Asia, and why they fail so many.

We dive into vaginismus, losing your virginity after marriage, and the crucial but missing step of sexual preparation. Most importantly, this episode teaches women not just that they can ask for better sex, but how to ask for it.

From understanding what pleasure and orgasm actually are, to breaking the silence around desire, this is a practical and empowering guide for women who’ve been told not to say no—but also never taught how to say yes.

In the very first episode of Burqah and Bikini focused on trans rights, Koko sits down with Dr. Mehrub Moiz Awan — a renowned transgender activist, educator, and healer — to explore what it really means to exist as a trans person in Pakistan today.

This is an unfiltered conversation about identity, sexuality, survival, and the crushing weight of class on human rights.

In Pakistan, trans people live with remarkable resilience and ingenuity, navigating a society that insists on a rigid gender binary. Within this binary system, identity becomes both a site of resistance and reinvention. Class plays a defining role — not just in who gets access to healthcare or housing, but in how sexuality itself is policed and pathologized. Yet amid these constraints, trans communities have cultivated powerful, alternative ways of living and loving. Polyamory, often stigmatized by mainstream society, emerges not as deviance but as an intentional and communal structure — a bold form of care, intimacy, and survival. In the absence of institutional support like sex education or accessible healthcare, many trans individuals are pushed into sex work — not as victims, but as economic agents negotiating their survival. When they assert their right to live in urban or “respectable” areas, they often face backlash — not because they don’t belong, but because their existence challenges deeply held social norms. Still, trans communities continue to heal, organize, and build spaces of care that the state fails to offer. Their story is not just one of struggle — it is also one of brilliance, collective strength, and reimagined futures.

From family rejection to small victories of community-led success, Dr. Mehrub also shares deeply personal reflections on allyship, success stories from their work, and why the LGBTQ+ community itself is not immune to internal biases.

This episode is a raw and honest look at trans life in a deeply unequal society.

In this deeply insightful and powerful episode, I sit down with transformational coach Navjot Dhaliwal to explore the layered and often conflicting dimensions of modern feminism. Together, we unpack the nuanced shifts that have taken place over the years—where women, in their fight for equality and independence, have sometimes found themselves leaning heavily into hyper-masculine energy. Many have taken on financial responsibilities, been praised for their independence, and evaluated based on their tangible contributions in relationships. But now, there’s a collective softening, a return to the feminine essence—where women are beginning to remember that being strong doesn’t mean abandoning their nurturing, receiving, intuitive nature.

Navjot and I dive into the idea that reclaiming our feminine energy is not about stepping backward, but about stepping deeper into wholeness. We talk about what it means to allow ourselves to receive—emotionally, spiritually, and financially—without guilt. To be held, to be supported, to let go of the idea that value comes only from what we give or do. This episode is a reflection on how feminism doesn’t have to mean rejection of support or softness. It’s about balance, and about writing new stories for ourselves where we can be both independent and deeply cared for.

We also reflect on growing up around patriarchal figures within South Asian culture—men we love like our fathers and brothers, but whose presence often came with authority, control, and emotional distance. Many women today are consciously choosing a different kind of partnership, one that invites vulnerability, emotional depth, softness, and collaboration. We discuss this powerful shift and how it’s not just about choosing different partners, but about healing our perception of men and of ourselves in relation to them.

For anyone who has ever felt torn between being the fierce, independent woman and the one who longs to be emotionally and financially supported, this conversation is for you. Freedom and independence do not have to cancel out the desire to be provided for—they’re not mutually exclusive. We also touch on the often-triggering phrase “#NotAllMen” and explore how to begin healing the trauma that has made it difficult for so many women to trust men again. If you’re on a journey of embracing your feminine energy, healing old patterns, and redefining what it means to be a free, whole woman in today’s world, this episode will speak straight to your heart.

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In this episode, I sit down with Pallavi Barnwal, a bold and empowering sex and intimacy coach from India. Pallavi has made a name for herself by shattering taboos around sex, embracing pleasure unapologetically, and helping individuals and couples experience deeper connection and satisfaction. Her powerful journey of transformation has led her to redefine what sex means, especially in conservative societies like South Asia, where conversations around intimacy are often stifled.

We dive into the complex issue of sexless marriages—why they occur, how they develop, and why they’re so common. Pallavi offers valuable insights into the differences between male and female sexuality, focusing on where communication often breaks down between partners. We also explore how couples can bridge the gap, particularly when there's a libido mismatch, improve communication about desires and boundaries, and reignite intimacy in their relationships.

After speaking with Pallavi, I learned the concept of a "sex personality", helping individuals understand their unique sexual needs and preferences. Whether you're in a relationship or single, this episode offers practical advice on how to unlock your orgasmic potential, enjoy self-pleasure without shame, and shift your mindset toward guilt-free, passionate sex.

If you're ready to break free from societal taboos, enhance your sexual satisfaction, and leave shame behind, this episode is for you. While it's designed for both men and women, it's especially insightful for women in South Asia. We dive deep into the nuances of good sex, hot sex, and slow sex, while also addressing how South Asian society often shames women for seeking and enjoying pleasure.

Tune in to learn how to embrace your sexuality with confidence, explore your desires without judgment, and experience the pleasure you deserve.

In this episode, I sit down with Dinara Mukh, a Hormone Health & Nutrition Specialist and TEDx speaker. She says that our menstrual cycle is our SUPERPOWER. She brings groundbreaking research to the field of menstruation and period pain—specifically dysmenorrhea, which is something almost every woman experiences. Dinara has discovered the key to solving painful periods, and she’s here to share it with us.

Contrary to what many of us believe, your periods aren’t actually meant to be painful, and Dinara advocates for this truth. She’s uncovered how nature designed our bodies perfectly to protect, provide, and nurture us.

After struggling with excruciatingly painful periods that often left her curled up in a fetal position, Dinara found the solution through diet, and now she’s helping women worldwide do the same. Whether you're struggling with period pain, irregular cycles, or just curious about how to live pain-free, this episode is a uniting force for women everywhere. Periods connect us, and every woman can relate to the experience.

In this conversation, Dinara shares a definitive recipe for relief from period pain, breaking down what food your body actually needs and why you crave certain things. These cravings are a sign your body is communicating with you, and Dinara explains how to understand and address them. We also dive into how to regulate your cycle, improve iron absorption, and how diet can be the key to pain-free periods.

Don’t miss this enlightening episode with expert tips that can truly change your cycle, and your life!

In this unfiltered, hard-hitting episode, we sit down with one of the organizers of Aurat March Karachi to trace the journey of Pakistan’s most significant feminist movement.

Why did it start? What resistance has it faced? And where is it headed next? With Women’s Day 2025 approaching, this conversation unpacks the history, evolution, and impact of Aurat March. From its inception to the backlash it continues to face, this episode takes a deep dive into gender, patriarchy, and resistance in Pakistan.

We begin by asking why Aurat March was created in the first place. What pushed the organizers to take to the streets, and how did they navigate the challenges of building such a bold and visible movement in a society that often resists change?

As we explore the backlash against Aurat March, we tackle the men who protect other men’s bad behavior — a deeply ingrained societal issue that allows injustice to continue unchecked.

We discuss, why does the mere sight of women marching threaten so many? What is it about women demanding their rights that triggers such an aggressive response from those who benefit from the status quo?

We discuss women's unpaid labor — the invisible yet exhausting work that women in our society carry out every day. From household chores to emotional labor, this unpaid, unrecognized effort props up families, economies, and entire social structures. Yet, it remains undervalued, dismissed, or outright ignored.

Women in South Asia grow up in a system where they constantly need permission for everything — to study, to work, to go out, to exist on their own terms. We ask the big question: How can women take back control of their autonomy and freedom? What does it take for a society to see women as independent human beings, not as extensions of men?

We tackle the concept of honor and how it is disproportionately placed on women. Women are expected to uphold the family's dignity, while men move through the world without the same burden. This discussion ties into the real-life consequences women face — honor-based violence, forced marriages, and societal restrictions on their freedom.

Finally, we look ahead to Aurat March 2025 — what is the agenda for this year’s march? What are the demands, and how does the movement plan to push forward in an increasingly difficult landscape?

Tune in to hear the plans, the struggles, and the vision for the future. The fight isn’t over.

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In this episode, I sit down with Sana Akhand — a spiritual mentor, coach, writer, trendsetter and boundary-pusher who challenges societal norms and redefines modern relationships.

A few years ago, as a 32-year-old Pakistani-American woman living in New York, Sana made a bold and unconventional choice: she got her own apartment after marriage and started dating her husband again. Her goal? To keep the magic alive, to nurture excitement beyond routine, and to avoid falling into the trap of coexisting as mere roommates. By redefining traditional norms, she created the life she truly desired — one where she could embrace independence while still honoring her relationship.

Together, we explore what it means to be a modern woman today — one who is independent, takes radical accountability for her life, yet holds space for a partner and supports him in his ambitions. We discuss the delicate balance between self-sufficiency and allowing a man to provide, the importance of receiving and reciprocating, and how modern women can challenge gender roles while still being nurturers and caregivers.

But women like Sana don’t thrive alone — we need healed, secure masculine counterparts. We dive into how to choose partners who empower us, who allow us to grow, explore, and step into our full potential. Too often, South Asian women are stripped of agency, identity, and choice. In this conversation, we flip that narrative — embracing our power to exercise choice and own our decisions in relationships.

If you come from a traditional or orthodox background but dream of a life beyond conventional expectations, this episode is for you. Sana and I share how we’ve built partnerships that align with our values—relationships where gratitude coexists with standards, where we refuse to settle for men who aren’t secure, and where we thrive in our feminine energy because our partners have done the work to heal their masculinity.

This episode is deeply personal, as Sana and I shared an intimate flow of energy. I learned so much from her and, for the first time, opened up about my own life — my background, healing journey, my partner, our relationship, and the choices that have shaped us.

Listen in for an inspiring conversation on love, independence, and redefining what it means to be a modern woman.

Do Pakistani women really have the freedom to make their own life choices? Can they truly choose their own spouse without family interference?

In this episode, I’m joined by Zahra Salahuddin, a Pakistani journalist based in Berlin. Both Zahra and I are from Karachi, moved abroad for our master’s degrees, and later chose to stay and build our careers. We also both found life partners outside of our culture—something that often comes with immense pressure and scrutiny in South Asian families.

We dive deep into the realities of "freedom" for desi women—how it’s always conditional, always up for negotiation. Families may “allow” women to study abroad but expect them to return and marry. They may seem progressive, yet question a woman’s choice of spouse. The expectations, the constant bargaining, and the exhausting pressure to conform—it never truly ends. For South Asian women, freedom isn’t given. It’s fought for. It’s a lifelong process of negotiation. And those who refuse to compromise are often labeled rebellious.

This episode dives deep into the unspoken pressures, expectations, and emotional toll that South Asian women endure. Whether it’s the pressure to marry, the limitations placed on career choices, or the scrutiny over personal decisions, the struggle is real and ongoing.

If you’re a South Asian woman navigating these challenges, or if you’ve ever felt that your freedom came with conditions, this conversation will resonate deeply. If you’re navigating these challenges, this episode is for you. It’s raw, real, and deeply relatable.

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In this episode, I sit down with Tayyaba Nisar Khan, a Pakistani journalist who married a Chinese man, to explore the evolving dynamics of cross-cultural marriages in Pakistan. While it has been more acceptable for Pakistani men to marry outside their faith and culture, it has historically been considered taboo for women to do so. However, more Pakistani women are now choosing to marry outside of their culture, and Tayyaba and I dive deep into the challenges and barriers they face.

We discuss the reactions from families, the difficult conversations that often arise, and what goes into the lead-up to the wedding day. As someone in a relationship with a partner of German-Polish descent, I also share my personal experiences navigating these cultural differences.

One of the key topics we explore is the pressure many Pakistani families place on people to convert to Islam and even change their names when marrying outside the culture. We also break down how societal and cultural expectations—sometimes not in line with Islamic principles—impact these decisions.

Finally, we touch on the unique pressures faced by women in Pakistani society, particularly when choosing a partner from a different background, and how such a decision is often seen as a form of rebellion.

If you've had trouble navigating the marriage landscape in Pakistan or wish to understand what it takes to marry outside of your culture, this episode is for you. Tune in for a candid and thought-provoking conversation on love, culture, and breaking boundaries.

Is your womb holding you back from your full feminine power? Does it need healing, and how can you tell?

In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with somatic healer and women’s coach, Saleha Bhatti, to explore the transformative practice of womb healing. Saleha specializes in guiding women to reconnect with their womb wisdom, a powerful tool that can unlock their fullest feminine potential. Together, we dive into what womb healing really is, why it’s so crucial, and how it can help you overcome trauma, release blocked energy, and reclaim your feminine power. Womb healing isn’t just about physical health—it’s about healing deep emotional wounds, addressing past experiences, and reconnecting with ancient womb traditions that many of us have lost touch with. When women heal their wombs, they tap into a wellspring of strength, intuition, and confidence that can radically shift their lives.

Whether it’s improving leadership skills, enhancing sexual pleasure (hello, better orgasms!), or just feeling more aligned with your true self, womb healing has the power to elevate it all. In this episode, Saleha and I discuss how womb healing and breath work are powerful tools to release trauma, relax your muscles, and open up to deeper emotional healing.

We explore why every woman can benefit from this healing work, whether you’re dealing with past trauma, wanting to enhance your sexual experiences, or simply wishing to step into your full feminine energy.

We also tackle some big questions: How can womb healing improve your life? Can your sexual pleasure be enhanced through this work? Are you fully embracing your feminine energy and leadership potential? How can womb healing help you grow and thrive in every area of your life? If you're ready to explore how womb healing can help you tap into your true feminine power, reclaim your sexual vitality, and live a life aligned with your deepest purpose, this episode is for you.