Bus Tickets

A recent blow up within my family caused me to reflect on the topic of repair and restoration. Harsh words were spoken. Assumptions and misunderstandings reigned in the moment. And people were hurt. But - then we came down from the emotion of the moment. And intentionally practiced a few key activities:

- we talked it out
- we listened to each other on what was behind each person’s comments
- we listened to how our actions or words caused hurt to each other
- each of us owned our unhealthy contributions where that was the case
- we offered apologies
- we received apologies
- each person felt heard
- each person owned their part and apologized to who they hurt
- each person practiced offering grace in response to apologies
- and we moved on, without offense lingering

After many years of working on this very skill personally and with my wife, we are leading our kids in the same practice as well. And we're seeing big impact in our relationships with each other. And even those outside our home.

It is valuable to invest in building healthy relationships. Absolutely. But it is equally valuable to build repair skills. We all need them. And will use them. Frequently. In our personal relationships. And equally important - in our outward-facing relationships within our communities where we live.

I live within the territory called Canada. More specifically in the province of Alberta, in the settler community of Cochrane. Across Canada there is a story of broken relationship with deep historical trauma attached - the story of its indigenous peoples, their relationship to the land, and their relationship to those who settled here. Canada was declared a country in 1867. A process that included creation of various treaties, existing to this day, between the settler government and indigenous peoples of the land. In an effort to assimilate these peoples, their children were taken and placed in residential schools. Many never returned home. To this day stories are emerging from this dark chapter in our history. It is an open wound in our society.

Thankfully there is a growing awareness of the trauma caused and growing efforts toward truth and reconciliation. I believe each of us has been given a measure of power, an ability to bring personal impact to this narrative. Yes, it is a complex story with many stakeholders and actors. With many layers of effort required to address the systemic beliefs and related actions over so many years that have brought so much pain, disadvantage and trauma. But it starts with each of us. Practicing the work of repair and restoration. It may feel overwhelming. It may feel awkward and messy. But it is worth leaning into. One small act at at time as we build strength in repair and restoration.

I have found the following very helpful as a starting point, no matter which relationship needs repair:
- accept that we are human
- accept that we are going to respond in unhealthy ways to each other at times
- recognize when it is happening
- lean into those moments instead of dismissing them or running away from them
- acknowledge our shortcomings and contribution to the situation
- apologize to those we have hurt
- hold space for others to do this with us
- let go of the offense from others’ actions
- let go of the shame from our actions
- and keep moving forward, best we can

I encourage us all to look for opportunities to practice the lost art of repair and restoration. In the relationships around us. As we have the power to do so.

For more information on Canada's journey with Truth & Reconciliation see below:

https://www.canada.ca/en/canadian-heritage/campaigns/national-day-truth-reconciliation.html

https://www.orangeshirtday.org/

It was my absolute privilege to circle back with Alex Budak. A changemaker in his world. To discuss his latest changemaking effort - authoring the book Becoming a Changemaker - An Actionable Inclusive Guide to Leading Positive Change at Any Level.

There is SO MUCH great insight awaiting readers of this book. And the good news - it launches today!!

(Sept 13, 2022 - original episode airing)

One of the great insights from our conversation was the notion of challenging ourselves to build the skill called, "go out and fail". Get used to it. Experience it. Undo the mental assumptions that go with the notion of failing. His class experiment - 15 minutes, go out on campus and intentionally get rejected for something. Don't explain what you're doing - just go out. And fail. The results were astounding.

Even thinking about this exercise elicits a response in many of us! This is a great opportunity to pause. And reflect. WHY IS THAT?? What do we think will happen?

In honour of Alex's book launch - his own big step to test this very same notion - I challenge myself and all listening:

Go out and fail. Intentionally get rejected for something. Exercise that muscle of trying. And risking. And see what happens! You won't regret it.

For information on the book, where to order it and more, head to: https://www.changemakerbook.com/

Or find Alex on LinkedIn.

My favourite quote from Alex: "Change making is a team sport. And it takes all of us to lead from where we are."

"Pursue doing what you love and you will become good at what you love." Alexis Chevallot

INTRO'S

This episode captures the quality conversation I had with Alexis Chevallot and Marchela Georgieva, founders of the automation company Capto. Their mission: to save 1 billion (with a 'b') boring hours of work. So the humans performing those tasks can be freed up to identify value creation opportunities in the the organizations they work for. Tied to their vision of automating non-value added work is a commitment to make it affordable for smaller organizations to leverage this technology as well.

AUTOMATION

One of the keys to the work of Alexis and Marchela at Capto is their view of automation as a compliment to human contributions, not a replacement. By automating certain tasks using available systems and technology like RPA (Robotic Process Automation), those impacted are freed to use this time more productively and creatively, bringing more of their unique value to the organization.

BULGARIA

Alexis shared about the personal and business-side value of living in Bulgaria and starting a company there. Lots of exciting things happening in Bulgaria currently! Lots of of innovation and growth. Lots of new, and yet much remains the same - the warm people, the traditional lifestyle of many living close to the earth. I made myself a cup of 'Bilkov tea' for our conversation. It brought back very strong memories of the 100's of times I drank that tea in Bulgaria.

It was interesting to hear Marchela's perspective as a young Bulgarian who had moved away to study and become a professional accountant in England. And her journey to eventually return to Bulgaria with Alexis to start a tech automation company.

STAYING FOCUSED & CENTRED

When asked about how they stay grounded in what's most important, both Marchela and Alexis cited the value of connecting with others doing similar things, starting businesses for example. And the encouragement that comes from hearing that others doubt, others struggle - even if you don't see it on the outside. Marchela shared some key activities from her personal journey, like the value of meditation.

Alexis highlighted something very important as well - his commitment from a young age to pursue what he loved, more than what he was good at. Then to work hard at this to become good at it. An action that has eventually led him to where he is now, starting a tech automation company in Bulgaria with Marchela.

MORE ABOUT CAPTO

Check out LinkedIn profiles for Marchela or Alexis!

For more info on Capto and its services and mission check their website and LinkedIn page!

See you next episode!

INNOVATION

On June 16, 2022, a dream came true for me. It was the launch event for Innovate Cochrane - the non-profit organization that's been on my mind, in my heart and in my cross-hairs for 5 years. Over 80 people from across the community and beyond came, with many others unable to attend.

A few hours before the event I made my way to the hall. I sat in silence at one of the tables and reflected on the journey to this point. Many curves in the road, and seeming roadblocks. But I kept at it, along with a few others equally dedicated to seeing this vision become a reality.

It was essentially 5 years of small Bus Ticket moments, sewn together.

The Bus Ticket theme from my podcast origin story isn't rooted in the notion of once-in-a-lifetime moments. Those may occur. But a 'Bus Tickets' posture is one of perpetually leaning into being rooted, grounded in a clear sense of myself, what's important to me, what's speaking to me. And stepping out in small moments of courage. Living as a fully as I can in this moment.

I truly believe pursuing this type of posture, and leaning into the discomfort often accompanying personal growth, is the best possible life I can lead. The best life available to each one of us.

This is just the beginning of the amazing story unfolding in my community of Cochrane. More Bus Ticket moments to come. Listeners can expect to hear insights & references to innovation going forward as my passion for inner transformation and innovation intersect.

LEGACY

A second core theme to this episode relates to the day I recorded this episode - Father's Day.

It was my utmost privilege to have my wife and 3 daughters attend the Innovate Cochrane launch event. My girls witnessed what it looks like to get ahold of a vision or passion, and see it come to fruition.

I was equally honoured to highlight my daughter Sofia in one of the innovator stories from the community, shared at the event. She stepped out to connect Innovate Cochrane with her digital arts teacher, forming a 3-way success story between a spotlight on a newly launched school program, her own development in the area of video capture and editing, and a prototype community story output for Innovate Cochrane to use as a catalyst resource driving further community story capture.

Our children are watching us. Consciously or subconsciously they are observing how we engage the world. How we show up. Or don't.

I encourage each of us to lean into growth. To not settle for good enough. To not let fear dictate the action we will take. Or not take.

What is the next Bus Ticket moment for you?

Are you ready to step into it? If not, what is holding you back?

That's a good place to start.

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Matt McLaughlin, owner of Elustra Consulting, and co-journeyer with me during my completion of the Inner MBA program. Matt serves as a group coach with the program but has also started his own consulting practice, assisting others in connecting with themselves more deeply through mindfulness practices.

Matt shares some very practical insights on how to get started building our inner mindfulness muscles, in as little as a few minutes a day. And the amazing world of insight this can open up for each of us.

I was very encouraged by this short conversation with Matt. I hope the same for you. 

About Matt:

Matt on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/mclaughlinmatt

Website: elustraconsulting.com

Email: [email protected]

See you next episode!

https://www.nathanklassen.com/blog/the-bus-tickets-podcast-courage-grade-7-basketball

When is the last time you did something for the first time?

My guest on this episode is my daughter - Nyah. She was faced with a Bus Tickets moment recently and she chose to step into it. Having never played on a team before, she stepped up and joined the junior basketball team at her school after hearing an announcement on the intercom.

It took about 10 seconds of courage to get started.

She encountered a number of challenges along the way, including facing some people from her past who had hurt her. But she persevered. Last Friday was her first set of games. She scored 2 baskets. I was there for the second. Very proud moment for this dad. Mostly to see Nyah step out and do what she did. It inspires me to keep leaning into challenging moments and opportunities. It also reminds me of when I was 15 and tried out for the high school football team. I remember the knots in my stomach the first time I went out on the field in my first game.

Sometimes it's good to reflect on times when we have stepped out in the past, to encourage our current self to do it again now. And it's good to share our story with others, to give them permission to do the same.

https://www.nathanklassen.com/blog/the-bus-tickets-podcast-bus-tickets-becoming-a-changemaker

I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Alex Budak, social entrepreneur, professional faculty member at UC Berkeley's Haas School of Business, and the author of the forthcoming book Becoming a Changemaker.

Alex shares some Bus Ticket moments in his own life that led him to his current role at Haas. Then some highlights from his 'Becoming a Changemaker' course, broken into 3 buckets:

1. Key traits to developing a Change maker mindset.

2. Key practices to develop when developing Change maker leadership.

3. And equally important - going from ideas to Change maker action. In this section Alex shares insights about the toolkit he brings to empower his students as Change makers:

Loved his closing comment, "Change making is a team sport. And it needs all of us to lead from where we are."

About Alex:

Lecturer, Becoming a Changemaker    LinkedIn / Website   

See you next episode!

https://www.nathanklassen.com/blog/bus-tickets-imperfection

This episode is an example of imperfection. Of the value in taking small imperfect steps to challenge notions of 'perfect' (our definition or others). After 2 months of pause from making episodes, this is my intentional step to put my offering out there, again. No matter how long its been since the last time. No matter. This is one key theme in the episode.

I touch briefly on the impact of ADHD in my life and its impact on other important relationships, my marriage in particular. More to come in future episodes, but it's mentioned here.

The other theme raised in this episode is depression. It is part of my story. It is prevalent in the lives of many. I encourage all who are listening: 1) Reach out FOR help if you need it. There is no shame or stigma worth staying in silence. 2) Reach out TO help, if you know someone who is living with depression.

Small, imperfect steps - wherever you are today. The world needs your glorious imperfect offering now.

Invitation...

If you have been positively impacted by the Bus Tickets podcast on your journey to living more fully aligned with your inner compass, why not consider partnering with the podcast? From each $5 partner contribution, $1 is set aside to support and empower others stepping out and acting on their inner prompts!

https://www.nathanklassen.com/offers/ArfBJbXV

See you next episode!

Episodes 2 & 3 tell the story of my Bus Tickets journey, 20 years after my adventure into Kosovo from Episode 1.

Much happened in my life following my Kosovo journey in my late 20's. Both rewarding and challenging. Things that caused my inner compass to be covered over, pushed to the shadows of my everyday life.   Below is a summary of the 7 "C's" to my inner transformation.

The catalyst for this inner transformation in my life was a CRISIS in my relationship with my wife - coming face to face with the fact that I had been largely shut down inside for the first 15 years of our married life. Indeed before that as well, but that moment provided me a mirror into myself. And I was faced with a decision - a Bus Ticket moment - to face this shut down, shadowy part of me, despite the loud inner voice warning me not to. Or risk losing everything I loved and causing even more pain in the process.

In that moment I made a decision. A COMMITMENT. To not keep turning away from this seemingly dark abyss inside myself. It wasn't a commitment to change per se. Frankly I had no idea what was under the surface of my conscious awareness that was causing my destructive behaviour.

I started with a commitment to be willing to change.

But that was enough. It was the start of something very significant. It was a Bus Ticket moment. And I stepped into it, instead of turning away like I had done so many times in the past.

I was willing to change, but didn't know fully where to start. So I picked an obvious area that needed attention - my physical health.

Focus 1 - Small changes to my diet. Putting healthy food in front of myself that would strengthen me.

Focus 2 - Fitness related. I started going to work earlier in the morning and walking (not jogging or running) on the treadmill in the gym. For 20 minutes only. Building up my core strength and physical capacity.

Focus 3 - New knowledge and insights - similar to Focus 1, putting healthy 'inner food' into myself. I started with Michael Singer's book 'The Untethered Soul' and moved through many sources.

Focus 4 - Practicing new behaviours, new ways of thinking, of believing. Drawing on the great wisdom and practical insights I was consuming and applying them. The result was similar to Focus 2 - a building up of my core 'inner strength'.

The key to my work above was the formation of HABITS in each focus area.

Small acts of habit-forming CONSISTENCY in each area became the foundation for sustained 'micro layers' of personal development for me. They elements set the stage for me to strengthen three more key practices that have been foundational to my coming alive: COMPASSION, COMMUNITY and CURIOUSITY.

Before we unpack them, there is one other element underlying the whole transformation journey I've been on. And it bears calling out - COURAGE.

It takes courage to turn toward a difficult moment in our life. Instead of away from the potentially uncomfortable feelings that come up.

But it is worth it. That moment can be a friend to us. If we turn toward it. And allow some light into that space. And take small steps in response.

One Bus Ticket moment at a time.

My next Bus Ticket moment came when I finally faced the reality of addiction in my life. A dependency that began during grade school and followed me through each chapter of my life. For most of my life I lived under the big assumption that if I exposed this part of myself to the light, I would end up alone and rejected. I finally acknowledged that by NOT shining light into this corner of myself, I was on that very path already, rejecting others and at risk of being totally alone.

I agreed to see an addictions counsellor. This led me into joining an addictions recovery group. As I went week over week, it was like being in the gym, exercising muscles I had never developed. Key among them - strengthening COMPASSION. For myself first, then for those around me. I saw significant growth in this area by leaning into the new insights I was presented with around the nature of addiction and the path to recovery. That circle of men I met with weekly became one of the most impacting examples of COMMUNITY I have every experienced. A place to be myself, fully. To share my struggles, my successes. To practice vulnerability and being seen by others. I began to love myself as I experienced acceptance and affirmation from others in that circle. It was a sacred space, created by and protected by all who attended.

Learning to love all parts of myself released capacity in me to hold space for myself. For the seemingly 'ugly' parts - the thoughts and feelings I didn't want to admit I was thinking or feeling. The pain I just wanted to go away. This is when I began to develop the final C - CURIOUSITY. I adopted a 'gateway' phrase, one that would help me unlock the parts of me yet to be brought into the light: "I wonder...".

"I wonder why I'm feeling this way right now?"

"I wonder what is causing him to cut in and out of traffic like that?"

"I wonder why I'm sounding so edgy with my partner? With my kids?"

Enter a few other practices I've picked up along the way as a great compliment to this curiousity-enabled entry point:

- Pausing whatever I'm doing.

- Closing my eyes.

- Taking 1 or 2 deep breaths.

- Capturing what I'm thinking or feeling (writing it down, or saying it out loud).

Looking back on this chapter of coming alive internally, the key for me was to embrace all of these elements, not to pick and choose.

   Catalyst (often a Crisis or Circumstance)
+ Commitment
+ Consistency (or Habits)
+ Compassion
+ Community
+ Curiousity
+ Courage
= Inner Transformation

This path can feel hard. It can feel uncomfortable. And it's not a comparison race. We each journey in our own unique way. But it does require that we choose, each day, each moment, to lean into the potential discomfort and deep reward of growth. Or to come back to this path when we step off.

Each of these moments...is a Bus Ticket moment.

And you're not alone.

See you next episode!

Episode 2 is a fast forward to today. 20 years after my adventure into Kosovo from Episode 1.

Much has happened in my life since then. Both very rewarding, but also very challenging. Things that have caused my inner compass to be covered over, pushed to the shadows of my everyday life. That is, until I faced a CRISIS in my relationship with my wife - coming face to face with the fact that I had been largely shut down inside for the first 15 years of our married life. Indeed before that as well, but that moment provided me a mirror into myself. And I was faced with a decision - choose to face this shut down, shadowy part of me, despite the loud inner voice warning me not to. Or risk losing everything I loved and causing even more pain in the process.

In that moment I made a decision - a COMMITMENT - to not keep turning away from this seemingly dark abyss inside of myself. It wasn't a commitment to change per se. Frankly I had no idea what was under the surface of my conscious awareness that was causing my destructive behaviour.

I started with a commitment to be willing to change.

But that was enough. It was the start of something very significant. It was Bus Ticket moment. And I stepped into it, instead turning away like I had done so many times in the past.

I was willing to change, but didn't know fully where to start. So I picked an obvious area that needed attention - my physical health.

Focus 1 - Small changes to my diet. Putting healthy food in front of myself that would strengthen me.

Focus 2 - Fitness related. I started going to work a bit earlier in the morning and walking (not jogging or running) on the treadmill in the gym. For 20 minutes only. Building up my core strength and physical capacity.

Focus 3 - New knowledge and insights - similar to Focus 1, putting healthy 'inner food' into myself. I started with Michael Singer's book 'The Untethered Soul' and moved through many sources.

Focus 4 - Practicing new behaviours, new ways of thinking, of believing. Drawing on the great wisdom and practical insights I was consuming and applying them. The result was similar to Focus 2 - a building up of my core 'inner strength'.

The key to my work above was the formation of HABITS in each focus area.

Small acts of habit-forming CONSISTENCY in each area became the foundation for sustained 'micro layers' of personal development for me. They acted as a gateway to the inner growth I have experienced, and set the stage for me to strengthen three more key practices that have been foundational as well:

COMPASSION

CURIOUSITY

COMMUNITY

These last three C's are the basis for Episode 3, the second part of my Coming Alive story.

But before we go there, there is one other element underlying this whole transformation journey I've been on. And it bears calling out.

COURAGE.

It takes courage to turn toward a difficult moment in our life. Instead of away from the potentially uncomfortable feelings that come up.

But it is worth it. That moment can be a friend to us. If we turn toward it. And allow some light into that space.

And take small steps in response.

One Bus Ticket moment at a time.

See you next episode!