Trigger Warning: Lots and lots o' rape and two movies you should never watch.

Never on Tuesday is the epitome of everything wrong with zany 80's indie comedies where two guys cause an accident and spend the next couple days trying to sleep with (and convert) a lesbian.

Time to Kill is the epitome of everything that's wrong with 80's Italian Cage films where he plays a soldier in Mussolini's Army that decides to rape a native woman and may or may not be on his way to a horrible death. Speaking of horrible death, we totally watched these movies a couple times so you won't have to. If you know a good psychoanalyst, please direct them to our website or Patreon.

It's finally here - Cage's first full-on Cage movie...the meme factory that is Vampire's Kiss! Jennifer Beals, Kasi Lemmons, and Maria Conchita Alonso pool their powers together to make this movie more watchable.

Put on your fake fangs and fashion yourself a stake, we're doing this! The complete unhinged Cage.

Have a wonderful life together and we will take care of the cops.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...that's Moonstruck, apparently. Would this movie have been better as a horror movie? Would it be better with more Cage? Is Linda really alive? Join us as we discuss the important questions.

In honor of our friends at Drinkipedia, Donnie decided to take a shot at every mention of "Cage." Listen to find out if he survived.

"Love can do more damage than anger if it goes wrong. Anger passes quickly. Love, when unrequited or ignored, is devastating. However, if it is received and returned, it's a magnifying glass to everything that is beautiful in the world." - Nicolas Cage

In a very special episode of Cage's Kiss, we discuss Cage's quest and courtship for his first (and best?) wife, Patricia Arquette.

Give me that baby! I want that baby!

That’s, right! Put your panty on your head and make sure your gun isn’t loaded. We’re talking about one of the greatest movies of all time: Raising Arizona! Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, John Goodman, William Forsythe?! This is the perfect cast!

Linda talks about how amazing Dr. Lynne Kitei is while also misspelling her name. She also shares her Cagey nightmares. Seriously, send help.

A lot of podcasts post a "prank" episode on April Fool's Day and we, the listeners cringe and try to struggle through it. We won't be doing that to you - although it would have been a great opportunity to start our Bosom Buddies cast.

Instead, we discuss Peggy Sue Got Married which stars Kathleen Turner (aka Scum Queen) as Peggy and the national treasure as Pokey from Gumby. We discuss how amazing they both are and Jim Carrey is there too (in the movie, not guesting on our show). Would this have been better with the Gutz?

Grease up your bum and rip off your shirt! We're talking about the Merry Misadventures of Ned Hanlan, otherwise known as The Boy in Blue. It's a whimsical biopic on the Canadian sculling legend Ned Hanlan.

Linda's laptop screamed and died toward the end of the episode. So, there's a blissful moment of time without her. Also, we'd like to take a moment to apologize for Donnie.

BIRRR-DEEEE! Is it furry? Is it species dysphoria? Is it good? One thing's for sure, there is no Modine Peen.

Just a warning: Linda's a moron and had her audio recording from her laptop microphone, rather than her professional microphone. I hope you like snippets of bad audio and coughing!

"Too many white people and too much coke" - a good descriptor of this movie and our podcast. Listen in as we discuss the film that made The National Treasure trash his trailer and miss the opportunity to star in multiple movies. Don't forget to pour one out for Bob Hoskins and Fred Gwynne. gg, guys.

Trigger Warning: Abortion is discussed as it’s part of the story and rape is mentioned as we go on a Saturday Night Fever tangent.

Penn and Cage shenanigans! Penn buns, Cora Crawley’s boobies, and Carol Kane! What’s not to love? Join us as we discuss why you should get an eagle tattooed on your chest right over your heart…or maybe a snake coming out of your navel.

Also, we may be the only podcast that can tell you where to find Dana Carvey in this movie.

OOOH, WOWEEE!