We return to the goo goo ga ga psychobabble of our first selves.

Hannah Kingsley-Ma is a writer and audio producer living in Brooklyn.

This story was reported and written by Hannah. It was edited by Liza Yeager and Lio Wong, with help from Jackson Roach. It was produced and sound designed by Liza Yeager, with help from Jackson Roach. Additional editorial support from Annie Rosenthal, Omar Etman, and the Issue One Cohort.

Music in this story is from the Signal Hill music library, which (so far) includes original work by Clara E. Brill, J. Mamana, and Ethan Philbrick. Additional music in this story is from Blue Dot Sessions.

Special thanks to Hannah’s friends and family.

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