Called and Caffeinated

“Right now God is writing a masterpiece and the story is yours. The question is: will we trust him? Will we allow him to work in us?”

Do you wish you could live free of pornography, body image anxiety, or thinking of yourself as “bad?” Do you struggle to let go of habitual sins and wish you could just stop wanting the things that take you away from God? Steve Pokorny, speaker and author of Redeemed Vision: Setting the Blind Free from the Pornified Culture, uses his powerful testimony, knowledge of Theology of the Body and a scientific method (that TRULY works!) to train his clients in breaking their compulsions.

 We are, first and foremost, called to be sons and daughters of God. Let’s get that straightened out so that we make healthy, God-centric decisions. In a culture where understanding of sexuality is lacking at best and horribly twisted in many cases, Steve breaks through the noise with beautiful truth and clarity. You’ll be surprised to learn how nudity in sacred art and breastfeeding in public can help redeem our culture!

 Topics

• The septic tank analogy: the state of our culture today

Resources

• Redeemed Vision: Setting the Blind Free from the Pornified Culture

“I was Catholic on Sunday, in my terms. I would ask God for things that I wanted, not what he wanted.”

Money can be a painful topic. Student debt, inheriting our family of origin’s wounds surrounding finances, and expectations vs. reality can leave us hurting and grasping for control. Stacie and John Martinez were making a good income working in the fashion industry in NYC. They had everything they wanted… until they realized they weren’t fulfilled. In their emptiness they found their fulfillment in the Catholic faith… and almost immediately the economic slump of 2008 hit them hard. With four kids and no jobs in sight, Stacie and John had to completely re-calibrate their definition of “a good life” and what they are working for.

Now, Stacie and John are the parents of six children and the owners of Proud Catholic Company (I own one of their shirts and it’s my FAVORITE shirt.) They’re sharing their journey of learning to lean on God and living happily with less.

BONUS CONTENT: Enjoy the famous Miserere Mei Deus at the end of the episode with all parts sung by me. It's a Lent-appropriate meditation with a gorgeous soaring high C!

Topics Discussed

• The real value of money

Resources

• Proud Catholic Company

This episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm's Mission Program Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT). Consider spending a week in loving service and find out more here!

This episode is sponsored by Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program with the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm. Check them out here and consider spending a week in loving service this summer!

“Do you want God’s answer more, or do you want God’s love? If you seek God’s love more than God’s answer, you will find them both.”

How do you know when he or she is “the one?” How do we stop comparing ourselves to our engaged and married friends? Is it shallow to make physical attraction a criteria for our future spouse? How can we forgive ourselves for our past mistakes? 

Leah Darrow is that big sister we all need in our lives to tell it like it is. She’s a powerhouse speaker who dishes out TRUTH regarding issues in dating and discerning marriage that everyone needs to hear during our single years. Leah shares how to live a beautiful and fulfilled life, free of fear, no matter where we are in our discernment by keeping our eyes on what really, really matters.

Topics discussed

• How to tell your significant other about the mistakes in your past

Resources

• Divine Mercy in My Soul- the Diary of St. Faustina

This episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm's mission program called Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT). www.carmelitesisters.com/SALT-program It's also sponsored by the Carmelite Monastery of Baltimore: https://www.baltimorecarmel.org/

“(Religious life) was the last thing I would have thought I would have been drawn to. I had all these plans. And God had other plans for me! ”

If reading the above statement made you feel an instinctive cringe because you’re afraid God might suck you in and call YOU, you must listen! Listen to Momma Stacey and just. Click. The. Button. Do you think that in religious life you will have to let go of your talents and the things that bring you joy? Are you curious about the inner workings of religious life but don’t feel ready to visit orders yet? What do the different parts of the habit signify, anyway?

Too often we say, “religious life just isn’t for me.” But do we assume that too soon without truly exploring the question? Fr. Aquinas Beale thought he needed to make it through college and find a job before he could really put his future at God’s feet. He’s a gymnast, musician, super brainy millennial, and was ambitious to make his way in the world. He thought that religious life just couldn’t be a full, happy life for him. In the midst of all his busy-ness, God was calling him to be a monk and priest with the Dominican Order. He has had challenges but has been constantly surprised by how giving his life to God has fulfilled not only his dreams, but also dreams he never knew he had. Whatever stage of discernment you’re at, you’ll love his answer to my question at the end: “is there anything you want young men and women to know?”

Topics Discussed:

• What’s it’s like to live in community

 Resources

• Dominican Friars' website

This episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm's mission program, Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT). Look them up here and consider giving a week in loving service!

Show Notes

Have you ever felt like your career or life choices just aren’t enough? Has following your dreams disappointed you? Are you worried your control freak or perfectionist personality will hold you back from following God’s will (but you don’t know how to quit those traits)? Do you freak out when you don’t get answers from God? I’ve been to all of those places, and in this episode I’m sharing MY journey!

 I am excited (and a bit nervous) to be on the other side of the mic to tell my vocational discernment story. It’s a rollicking tale from touring with Broadway shows to being featured on reality TV, to wanting to become a nun but realizing I wasn’t called to it. With each step through the muddle and confusion I learned how my Type A personality both helped and hindered my hearing God’s voice.

God in his wisdom provides endless opportunities to “get it right” and deals with us gently. He has shown me the awesome depths of his love for me, allowing the building of a relationship of trust in which I can let go of the need to be in control. I share the bestest strategies I know of how to get started discerning, how to know what your vocational calling is, how to sort through your levels of desire to find the deepest ones, and a heavy dose of empathy for all those who daily ask “what am I doing with my life?!?”

Topics Discussed

• What to do when you are restless and hungry for “something more”

Resources

• The Ear of the Heart- Dolores Hart

“God is the ultimate creator and we should be like him in our creativity. Look at the gifts you have. Produce the best you can for Jesus.”

If you’re a Catholic creative who suffers from creative block or the soul-crushing belief that “it’s all been done before,” this episode is for you.  How do we discern our creative call, create free from self-doubt, AND use it to help redeem our culture?

First, we can’t waste time with self-doubt when the Gospel needs to be shared.

Second, it’s been freeing to realize that my art isn’t all about me. It’s a service for others. It brings people to God. Your artistry isn’t about ratings or garnering a huge following; it’s about being a channel to God in a way that no one else on Earth can.

My guest today, Joe Melendrez, has been performing as a Catholic rap artist since he was 15. He encountered raised eyebrows from Catholics who associate rap with an immoral culture. He’s such a great example of how to redeem an art form that’s all-too-often used for evil. Currently Joe is one of the most well-known speakers and Catholic performers in the US of A. We also talk about branding, feeding yourself spiritually, and discerning your vocation.

Y'all, the world needs our Spirit-led creativity. You’re not too old, or too young, or too poor, or too anything to start using your gifts right now. I just encourage you to surrender yourself totally to him and to ask him to flow through you. 

Topics discussed:

• Collaboration and creating content consistently

Resources:

• Fr. Rob Galea Ministry

“This is not a sin or something wrong with me; this is my call.”

Why do Catholics have a tendency to judge each others’ family size? What does the Church say (and not say) about the “right” number of children for a Catholic family? Does being “open to life” mean that married couples should always try to conceive a child? What about emotional well-being: is that a good enough reason to delay a pregnancy or would it be selfish? In this episode I discuss some of the ins and outs of discerning God’s plan with my friend Melanie Smith. I hope we can help de-mystify this subject for anyone who is married or who wants to be married. Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

Discerning family size is highly personal, so I thought the best way to approach it would be from my own particular angle (vulnerability alert!) Melanie is an amazing model of how to be a compassionate friend as well as a wealth of resources to approach parenthood with both generosity and prudence :)

Melanie is also an incredible community builder, so we get into some specifics on how to start a young adult group in your area. Community is HUGE in discerning call and in enriching our experience of life so enjoy this bonus content!

Topics Discussed

• Postpartum depression and emotional health

Resources

• naturalwomanhood.org

“It’s hard to unlearn some of the messages that you internalize about yourself growing up. There was a little cancer planted in my mind and heart that played out in my life in different ways.”

New Year’s is a time when many of us adopt the motivational motto “new year, new you.” However, sometimes that motivation to recreate ourselves can come from a wounded concept of our true identity as children of God. I mean, guys- we are made in his image. Do we really realize that?

If you’re plagued by self-loathing and wishing you were someone else, or if you’re living in habitual sin that you can’t seem to escape, or if you love someone who is dealing with these issues, I am so happy to share this episode with you.

We don't discern anything in a vacuum; our past choices and wounds follow us into our present and can cloud our ability to discern well. My guest today, Natalie Stilwell, has so much to offer on this topic. A few years ago she was in a place of despondence: “I was living this double life and I don’t even want to but I feel completely broken and helpless because of my circumstances, and I don’t know how to be strong in my identity and in what I want and in what God wants for me.” Her words hit me in the gut because I also made poor choices for years that came out of a wounded concept of identity.

I’ve been speaking about discernment and our identity as God’s children as my two main topics for several years, but it’s only this year that I’ve realized the connection between the two. Knowledge of our identity as children of God is the basis for all right discernment. We have to have a secure, trusting relationship with God in order to abandon our future to him.

New year, still lovable you.

Topics Discussed

• Un-learning the lies about our identity and finding the love we want

Resources

• Augustine- The Confessions

“The call of God will never lead you where his grace cannot keep you.”

I’ve heard a looooot of objections from young people about why they can’t possibly be called to religious life. “I couldn’t pray all day.” “I couldn’t give up my family.” “I wouldn’t be suited to taking vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.” “I wouldn’t be able to do the things I love as a nun.” Even: “Nuns are cranky and unhappy people.”

 These myths couldn’t be farther from the truth! If you’re not quite ready to visit a convent/monastery but want to dip a figurative toe in the pool of discerning religious life, then I’m excited to introduce you to Sr. Peter Lillian DiMaria and Sr. Mary Donovan. If you’re not discerning religious life but want to know more about the Carmelite charism (and what a charism is,) then this episode is for you too. The Sisters are my co-workers, friends and spiritual benefactors (in case ya don’t know, I work for the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm coordinating mission programs and providing education dementia in their nursing homes.) They are fun, relatable, and live fulfilling, authentic lives. I just loved chatting with them about how they knew they were called to religious life, Carmelite spirituality, and how God has used their gifts within that vocation.

Tune in to hear more about Carmelite spirituality, the type of man Sr. Peter thought she would marry, and a lot of other nuggets!

 Topics discussed:

• God uses your gifts in your vocation, even when you don’t see how he could

 Resources 

• Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program

When I was discerning my vocation, I remember getting frustrated when I would hear about all this pie in the sky philosophy without getting any answers about how to actually know God’s will and make a decision. I wish I had heard Paul Krenzelok speak then. Enter today’s episode, the perfect marriage of philosophy and practicality! No matter what decision you’re discerning or what stage you’re at, Paul’s episode will give you new insight and effective tools you can use right now.

Hopefully you know that you are inherently important, but I think sometimes we kind of gloss over it when we feel small, disorganized, less than what we should be, or just a hot mess in general. I often compare my journey to others’ and forget my unique unrepeatability. Did you know that understanding our dignity, individuality, and identity is the basis of all right discernment? Paul really digs into a truth that we often lose sight of: we need to focus on who we become rather than on what we do. As long as we own our true identity as children of God, the “what” will take care of itself much more easily.

Paul also pulls from St. Ignatius of Loyola’s discernment spirituality to give us real, actionable tools that you can use today. If you’ve never heard of consolation and desolation and how they help us get in touch with our deepest desires, you’re going to love this. 

Topics discussed:

• Focusing on discerning Who (identity) rather than What (vocation/career)

Resources:

• Franciscan Friars of the Atonement