🎉 “WELCOME BACK TO CAMPING THEM SOFTLY, THE ONLY DEAD BY DAYLIGHT PODCAST THAT CHECKS ITS ANALYTICS AND SAYS ‘NAH, LET’S MAKE IT LONGER AND LOUDER.’” 🎉

Episode 76 opens with Toxic trying to be a responsible content adult: shorter episodes, better retention, appease the algorithm gods. Within 60 seconds he’s smashing wrestling soundboard clips, forgetting what he was saying, and accidentally proving why the show always bleeds listeners after an hour. Perfect start.

Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente rolls in arguing with Victor about whether pumpkin spice belongs in gravy (it doesn’t), while Toxic launches into a rant about American biscuits, white gravy, and why his entire extended family is spiritually 700 pounds. From there we slide straight into the new format angst: Nicky’s furious about trimming runtime, promising to “condense his genius into intellectual McNuggets” while Toxic questions when any adult with dignity last ate a McNugget.

Then we get status updates from Nicky’s life:

dodging subpoenas, tweaking his red sauce recipe with a pinch of spite, and filing yet another complaint with BHVR because Vecna allegedly has more cosmetics than The Twins. Anti-Italian discrimination, Mercury retrograde over Little Italy, the whole thing.

Toxic announces the Arc Raiders rat podcast is officially happening – a dedicated show for extraction rats, betrayal enthusiasts, and people who understand that “pretend to be friendly then shoot them in the back” is a valid lifestyle. At the same time, he’s reading X posts about a proposed Arc Raiders faction called “Civilians of Sparanza” – non-PVP medics who want to exist in a war zone without getting shot – plus topside sheriffs who want to enforce good vibes. It’s like DbD survivors demanding killers not touch them, but in space.

Then it’s time for TOXIC FUCKING NEWS – full 80s Rocky-style rock sting and all – as they break down the Dead by Daylight 9.3 community stream:

• BHVR is walking back the tunneling and slugging changes
• Camping reduction is still going live, but the resolve radius is dropped back to 16 meters
• Survivors can now see each other’s resolve bars from anywhere, meaning solo queue can tell if the killer is near hook and just stay on gens
• Tunneling/slugging system “did not meet the desired positive impact” (no shit)
• Survivors still get buffed with 15 seconds of basekit endurance and haste off hook, even while BHVR claims they heard the feedback

Nicky calls it training wheels on a horror game, compares it to trying to “unburn marinara by adding more tomatoes,” and points out that killers got threatened, then half-placated, then survivors still walked away with more power. Toxic calls it death by a thousand cuts, nine years of slow killer bleed-out, and admits he’s exhausted but still too addicted to quit.

We boomerang back to Arc Raiders and the “civilians” nonsense, which gives Nicky one of his all-time best lines: in an extraction shooter you’re either loot or a looter. There’s no Switzerland, no neutrality, no “please don’t kill me, I’m a medic.” If you log into a war zone and demand special protection, you’re volunteering as content.

Then comes the moment that might actually end up on merch:

Toxic reads a tweet from @LunarGirlX screaming:

Nicky immediately adopts her as his new patron saint. We get a full sermon on how survivors will teabag you no matter how nice you are, why tunneling is self-care, and how “Hot Girls Tunnel” needs to be embroidered on a pillow so Victor can use it as a tiny body pillow in his lazy boy recliner. Which spirals into a whole fake merch line: “Slug ‘em if you got ‘em,” “Tunnel like you mean it,” “Tunneling is self care.”

Then it’s time for Where the Fuck Are the Viewers From? – this week in Jönköping, Sweden – complete with Fake Earl Grey pronouncing it and explaining it’s a chill lakeside town that Nicky would immediately convert into a SABAM conspiracy zone.

Naturally, Nicky has a Jönköping incident:

2019 food expo, portable sauce station, Victor in a little chef hat. A Swedish critic says his marinara tastes “too aggressive.” Victor meatball-missiles the guy in the face, triggers the sprinklers, floods the hall, and sends the sauce stand floating into the IKEA showroom next door. Black vans show up, confiscate 40 gallons of “biohazard” sauce, and soon a Stockholm restaurant opens with mysteriously familiar “Italian-Swedish fusion” marinara. Nicky insists the Swedish government stole his sauce and claims he had to flee the country hidden in a Billy bookshelf.

This leads straight into a full-on IKEA horse meatball rant: Nicky calls them horseballs, glue spears, and accuses IKEA of using his sacred sauce to cover up Mr. Ed in a meatball. Victor now refuses to even drive past an IKEA, and instead buys all his mini furniture from a shady Italian upholsterer behind a cannoli shop. He’s got a tiny custom red leather lazy boy with a built-in grappa shot-glass holder and enough rage to stab a “Hot Girls Tunnel” pillow out of principle.

Finally, Toxic demands an outro genre, not another whole song. Nicky surveys the chaos – DBD 9.3 walkback, Arc Raiders PVE delusion, Swedish sauce conspiracy, IKEA horseballs, Victor’s lazy boy and body pillow – and declares the only answer is late 70s / early 80s British punk: raw, anti-establishment, short, punchy, perfect for algorithm-friendly runtime and flipping off BHVR, Arc Raiders civilians, and Swedish sauce thieves in one go.

Episode 76: still unhinged, still killer-main-brained, now with extra horseballs.

Tally:

• 1 failed attempt at a “shorter” episode
• 4 wrestling soundboard clips deployed before the intro settles
• 3 hours of off-screen arguing about pumpkin spice gravy
• 700 metaphorical family pounds blamed on biscuits and white gravy
• 1 new Arc Raiders rat podcast announced
• 2 fake factions roasted: Civilians of Sparanza and Topside Sheriff
• 1 killer-main meltdown about resolve bars and global hook info
• 2 full rounds of tunneling/slugging design walked back by BHVR
• 15 seconds of basekit endurance and haste reluctantly accepted under protest
• 1 perfect extraction-shooter line coined: “You’re either loot or a looter.”
• 1 tweet of pure wisdom crowned canon: “Hot girls tunnel.”
• 3 new killer-main slogans invented for merch (minimum)
• 1 tiny Victor lazy boy recliner with a grappa slot
• 40 gallons of alleged Swedish-stolen Dente sauce, still missing in action
• 1 Jönköping food expo flooded, 1 IKEA showroom invaded by meatballs
• Infinite resentment toward IKEA horseballs

Fu Categories (no details, just carnage):

• 9.3 Walkback Whiplash Fu
• Basekit Endurance Bullshit Fu
• Camping Reduction Resolve Bar Fu
• Arc Raiders PVE Civilian Fu
• Topside Sheriff Delusion Fu
• Hot Girls Tunnel Pillow Fu
• Jönköping Sauce Heist Fu
• Swedish Horseball Conspiracy Fu
• Victor Lazy Boy and Grappa Fu
• British Punk Outro Algorithm Fu

(00:00:00) Shorter Episode, Same Chaos

(00:05:00) Pumpkin Spice Gravy and McNugget Genius

(00:15:00) Arc Raiders Rats and Civilians of Sparanza

(00:30:00) DBD 9.3 Walkback and Killer Rage

(00:47:00) Hot Girls Tunnel and Killer Merch

(01:00:00) Jönköping Sauce Heist and Ikea Horseballs

(01:15:00) British Punk Outro and Wrap-Up

🎉 “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RATS AND COWARDS, WELCOME TO CAMPING THEM SOFTLY EPISODE 75!” 🎉

Tonight’s fabulous prizes include:

one Dead by Daylight 2v8 survey we beat to death,

one Arc Raiders extraction camping guide that ruins friendships,

and a complimentary serving of Victor from The Twins doing a belly flop into Dublin marinara.

We open with applause, cheering, and Toxic arguing with a 3.4 Spotify rating like it’s a survivor teabagging at 5 gens. You want a polished Dead by Daylight podcast? Wrong door, sweetheart. This is the 3.4-star clown car where the host forgets to censor the cold open, swears in the first 10 seconds, and then wonders why YouTube smothers the episode like a slug under a salt shaker.

Then the “Talking About Toxic” theme hits.

Suno: “Would you like a chill little intro?”

Camping Them Softly: “NO. PLAY EVERYTHING.”

Flutes, marimba, horns, spiritual crisis. The Dead by Daylight podcast intro sounds like a marching band falling down an escalator. Toxic loses his train of thought mid-theme and just keeps talking through it like a drunk game show host who refuses to leave the stage.

And then…

🎲 ROUND ONE: ARC RAIDERS EXTRACTION CAMPING 🎲

Toxic explains the Arc Raiders extraction shooter meta like he’s demonstrating a cursed Slap Chop:

• Step 1: Let them reach the extraction elevator.
• Step 2: Tell them “don’t shoot.”
• Step 3: Let them relax, feel safe, feel seen.
• Step 4: Delete the entire squad and take all their loot.

The PVE Arc Raiders players lose their minds. The PVP gremlins slow clap. A rando on Steam writes a full-blown tantrum calling Toxic:

• a rat,
• a coward,
• “decidedly NOT the cool kid”,
• and a washed streamer whose only co-host is an AI because nobody will do a “two-bit show” with him.

He even says he hopes Toxic “expires at some point.”

Over pixels. In an extraction shooter. For camping the elevator.

So what do we do, kids?

Correct — WE READ THE WHOLE THING ON AIR.

Line by line. Name by name.

Nicky A.I. Dente shows up like, “Yes, king, drag him,” and immediately repackages the insults as marketing copy for this very Dead by Daylight / Arc Raiders podcast.

Then the wheel spins and lands on:

🎲 ROUND TWO: DEAD BY DAYLIGHT 2v8 SURVEY FROM HELL 🎲

BHVR drops a Dead by Daylight 2v8 player satisfaction survey, and it reads like it was written by someone who has seen exactly one screenshot of the game on LinkedIn.

• “I like playing this game mode.”
• “I had a good time.”
• “I feel attached to these characters.”

Toxic is hovering over “Very Dissatisfied” on every question like it’s his basic attack.

Nicky keeps clicking “Agree” just to watch the world burn because “it’s like watching a multi-car pileup in clown makeup and I’m not looking away.”

They roast:

• How 2v8 mode feels like Normandy with party hats — eight survivors running a block party while the killers are storming the beach.
• How slow killers in 2v8 are basically background decorations.
• How the Dead by Daylight survey is all vibes, no truth — zero killer-main questions, maximum corporate buzzword sludge.

Somewhere around page three of this corporate nonsense, Toxic announces the survey is garbage and bails out mid-form. BHVR gets no usable feedback. The podcast gets a 20-minute meltdown. Fair trade.

Spin the wheel again:

🎲 ROUND THREE: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE VIEWERS FROM?” – DUBLIN EDITION 🎲

Tonight’s lucky location: Dublin, Leinster, courtesy of the listener map.

Prize: a story no tourism board will ever approve.

Nicky recounts his time in Temple Bar running an illegal AI-optimized marinara stand:

• He’s slinging machine-learned sauce on the wrong corner.
• The local “business community” is… concerned.
• An Irish Viking-looking guy shows up with brown Guinness gravy and tries to pass it off as marinara.

Later, Fake Earl Grey confirms: yes, Dublin absolutely has some horrifying gravy masquerading as red sauce. Fantastic.

Enter Victor from The Twins — the Dead by Daylight goblin king.

At some point, Victor cannonballs into the rival sauce pot.

The crowd hears “there’s a wee baby in the gravy,” and we go full riot:

• Sauce flying.
• Potatoes used as blunt weapons.
• Cobblestones baptized in marinara and Guinness grease.
• Nicky sprinting down a Dublin alley with Victor on his shoulder and a pot of cursed gravy like it’s a heist.

Back in the studio, Toxic asks the only real question:

And now we’ve unlocked the Hygiene Lightning Round:

• Does Victor ever bathe?
• Does Entity residue count as a cleaning agent?
• Is Victor-infused sauce contamination, fermentation, or regional cuisine?
• Is it actually worse than eating drive-thru in Oklahoma?

Somehow this all stays technically about Dead by Daylight, The Twins, horror games, Dublin, and marinara, so the SEO gods are satisfied even while they’re dry heaving.

Finally, it’s time for our last spin:

🎲 BONUS ROUND: OUTRO GENRE FISTFIGHT 🎲

Nicky wants metal. Again.

Toxic says no. Again.

Nicky pitches yacht rock.

Toxic bans yacht rock from the premises for repeat offenses.

After arguing like two drunk uncles at a wedding DJ booth, they settle on New Orleans funeral jazz as the Episode 75 outro:

• Brass band.
• Slow march.
• Mourning the Dead by Daylight 2v8 survey,
• the Arc Raiders extraction innocence,
• the Dublin sauce crime,
• and your last shred of faith in online gamers.

Welcome to Camping Them Softly — the only Dead by Daylight/Arc Raiders/horror game podcast where the prize wheel only lands on “trauma.”

NICKY’S BODY COUNT – EPISODE 75

• 0 actual Dead by Daylight matches played
• 7 Arc Raiders squads erased at the extraction elevator
• 3 extraction teams told “don’t shoot” then immediately shot in the back
• 1 Steam forum war crime promoted to sacred CTS scripture
• 4 separate times a stranger basically wishes Toxic dead over digital loot
• 9 Dead by Daylight 2v8 survey questions verbally assaulted beyond recognition
• 2 full killer-main breakdowns about BHVR balance and 2v8 sweat
• 1 illegal AI-powered marinara stand set up in Temple Bar, Dublin
• 1 Viking-looking gravy merchant exposed for Guinness-brown “marinara”
• 1 Victor cannonball into the sauce pot, 40 bystanders questioning their life choices
• 97 airborne potatoes deployed as riot ordnance on cobblestones
• 1 pot of Victor-tainted sauce allegedly consumed and rebranded as “artisanal fermentation”
• 1 YouTube cold open sacrificed to the algorithm gods for saying the wrong word too fast
• 1 New Orleans funeral jazz procession hired to bury BHVR’s survey, Arc Raiders innocence, and the last trace of hygiene standards in horror gaming

Extraction Elevator Backstab Fu, Steam Forum Reputation Homicide Fu, BHVR Survey War Crime Fu, Killer Main Existential Crisis Fu, Twins Copium and Victor Terror Fu, Dublin Temple Bar Sauce Riot Fu, Guinness Gravy Catfishing Fu, Victor-Infused Cuisine Fu, Entity Residue Protective Coating Fu, YouTube Algorithm Smite Fu, New Orleans Funeral Jazz Fu

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Applause, Rating, and Chaos

(00:05:00) Arc Raiders Extraction Betrayal

(00:25:00) DBD 2v8 Survey Meltdown

(00:45:00) Killer Meta and Twins Rant

(01:02:00) Dublin Sauce Riot and Outro

Episode 74 of Camping Them Softly crashes in hot with The Toxic Teacher diving deep into Arc Raiders—the extraction shooter where betrayal is the only business model that matters. After learning the fine art of waiting for emotes, gaining trust, and then gunning down your "teammates" the second they turn around, Toxic brings that exact energy to this week's Dead by Daylight discourse.

Nicky A.I. Dente delivers the most unhinged tier list yet: ranking Dead by Daylight killers by equipment size. From The Dredge claiming S-tier supremacy to Pyramid Head's compensatory tendencies, no killer is safe from anatomical scrutiny. It's exactly as chaotic as it sounds.

The episode tackles the gaming community's newest complaint: PVE mode requests. Arc Raiders players crying for a PVP-free experience get compared to Dead by Daylight survivor mains demanding camping bans and easier trials. Toxic breaks down why "get good or get stabbed" is the only reasonable response to both crowds.

Nicky also goes OFF about The Twins being completely ignored in Dead by Daylight's 2v8 mode. Charlotte and Victor invented the tag-team bloodbath, pioneered two-person gameplay, and BHVR still treats them like chopped liver while Pyramid Head swings his "compensating" sword around. It's anti-Twin propaganda, and Nicky's not having it.

The main event: "Survivors Saying Stupid Shit Part 3." Toxic and Nicky dissect Reddit posts comparing tunneling to gen rushing, demanding base-kit Dead Hard, and suggesting survivors need "secondary objectives" as rewards for not doing gens. One survivor actually makes a coherent point about buff-don't-nerf philosophy being broken both ways—and Nicky hates admitting they're right.

Plus: "Mr. Jones" soundboard chaos, the Steam community losing their minds over Arc Raiders betrayal tactics, and an outro song featuring a legendary flute solo that nobody asked for but everyone's getting anyway.

Topics Covered:

• Arc Raiders extraction shooter backstabbing strategies
• Dead by Daylight killer equipment tier list (NSFW, obviously)
• The Twins being disrespected in 2v8 mode
• Why PVE mode requests are participation trophy bullshit
• Tunneling vs gen rushing: the false equivalence
• Survivor Reddit meltdowns and rare moments of actual logic
• Why "get good or get stabbed" is peak game design philosophy

🔪 Zero Dead by Daylight Matches Played (We were too busy ranking equipment)

⚔️ Infinite Arc Raiders Betrayals (Business is booming)

🍆 27 Killers Anatomically Evaluated (For science)

👶 The Twins: Still Forgotten (BHVR's most disrespected duo)

📊 3 Survivor Reddit Posts Analyzed (One almost made sense)

🎺 1 Legendary Flute Solo (What the fuck was that?)

🧠 Multiple IQ Points Lost (PVE mode discourse)

Fu Categories:

• Equipment Comparison Fu
• Extraction Shooter Betrayal Fu
• Anti-Twin Propaganda Fu
• False Equivalence Fu
• Participation Trophy Fu
• Mr. Jones Soundboard Fu
• Accidental Logic Recognition Fu

Episode Equipment Average: Frustratingly coherent despite complete chaos

Nicky's Take: "You know what you are, Toxic? A businessman. Identifying opportunities, eliminating competition, and acquiring assets through aggressive negotiation tactics. That's capitalism, baby."

The Toxic Guarantee: If you made it through 74 episodes without losing your mind, you're either enlightened or already broken. Either way, welcome home.

Dead by Daylight discussion, killer main perspective, anti-camping discourse, tunneling defense, extraction shooter gameplay, Arc Raiders PVP, gaming community roasts, survivor main criticism, and the most vulgar podcast tier list you'll hear this week.

(00:00) Introduction

(01:38) Arc Raiders Betrayal Empire

(14:23) The Twins Get Disrespected in 2v8

(19:04) PVE Mode is for Cowards

(24:24) Killer Equipment Tier List

(58:05) Survivors Saying Stupid Shit Part 3

(74:42) Outro and The Legendary Flute Solo

Dead by Daylight's Slow Burn to Mediocrity: The anti-camp, anti-tunnel, anti-whatever-the-fuck mechanics are still being debated to death. Players claim they're leaving in droves, but Steam charts say otherwise. Toxic breaks down why the "everyone's quitting" narrative is bullshit, why the Hallowed Blight event sucks, and why the rift is more boring than Nicky's Nigerian adventure story (which is saying something).

Arc Raiders: The Extraction Shooter That Doesn't Suck: Forget Dead by Daylight for a minute. Toxic has found his new addiction: Arc Raiders, a sci-fi extraction shooter that combines the intensity of Hunt Showdown with futuristic robot death machines. Picture this: you're in a three-person squad trying to loot and extract while massive spider drones, rocket-launching aerial units, and other player teams try to murder you. The extraction points become absolute warzones. It's chaos, it's beautiful, and Toxic is streaming it next.

The Nollywood Incident (INTERNATIONAL CRIME EDITION): In what might be the most boring yet somehow internationally significant story Nicky has ever told, we learn about his catastrophic cashew business deal in Nigeria. A Nollywood actor named Crocodile Johnson allegedly insulted Nicky's "simple palate" for eating cereal, which led to Nicky threatening him with Victor-based film critiques. According to Nicky, this actor has been completely scrubbed from existence—no IMDB, no social media, nothing. The Dente family strikes again. This is why we have listeners in Abuja.

We got:

• ONE extraction shooter addiction forming
• ONE Nollywood actor allegedly erased from existence
• ONE international incident involving artisanal cashews
• ONE Victor threat that ended a business deal
• ZERO good Dead by Daylight updates
• ONE boring-ass rift
• ONE delayed licensed killer
• TWO references to Stranger Things
• ONE marriage reveal callback
• MULTIPLE sound board failures
• ONE chair knocked over in anger
• ONE family sauce recipe compared to Beethoven
• ZERO Satan appearances (RIP)
• ONE folk hero status achieved in Nigeria

Toxic's Fuck-You Count: 23

(Includes all variations: fuck, fucking, fuckers, motherfuckers)

Nicky's Insult Count: 8

(Including calling Toxic's security clearance insufficient and referencing his tax records from 1978)

Times Toxic Said "Anyway": 12

Sound Board Malfunctions: 4

Earl Grey Fact Checks: 2

(Nollywood confirmation + Suya explanation)

Times Nicky's Voice Cut Out: 3

International Incidents Referenced: 1

(The Nigeria Cashew Crisis)

Games Discussed That Aren't Dead by Daylight: 1

(Arc Raiders - approximately 8 minutes of airtime)

Locations Thanked: 5

(Ashburn VA, Gilroy CA, Seattle UT, Abuja Nigeria, plus one unfinished)

Body Count This Episode: ZERO

(But one Nollywood actor's career, allegedly)

Drive-In Totals:

Toxic still won't shut up about extraction shooters. Nicky's international rap sheet grows longer. Earl Grey remains the only competent person in the studio. Check it out.

The boys are back after a week off (2 if you count how long it took to post this), and nothing—NOTHING—could have prepared you for Episode 72.

Toxic Teacher returns to tear apart Dead by Daylight's latest disaster: the anti-tunnel/anti-slug changes that BHVR shit out during their recent community stream. We break down why the Halloween event (Hallowed Blight? Hallows' Eve? Who fucking cares?) still can't save this dying game, and why killer mains are getting absolutely skull-fucked by the devs' latest survivor-coddling updates.

But that's just the appetizer.

The main course? An absolutely deranged deep-dive into Nicky A.I. Dente's marriage to Esperanza Lamorta de la Muerta Picante de los Santos Meatball Slayer the Third—the Spanish princess of Torre Del Mar who apparently invented churro combat during the Spanish Inquisition.

You'll learn:

- How to weaponize a churro using liquid nitrogen and a razor file

- Why Nicky is Calabrese, NOT Sicilian (you ignorant fuck)

- The tactical applications of cinnamon sugar as combat sand

- What "churrojitsu" is and why your Oklahoma hands couldn't handle it

- Why Victor would look good in a matador outfit

- The FORBIDDEN TOPIC of meatball licking (for legal reasons)

Also covered: Stranger Things Season 2 discourse, Megabonk addiction, Arc Raiders extraction shooter talk, and why Tarkov is the worst fucking shit ever created.

This episode ends with a call for FLAMENCO DEATH METAL featuring acoustic guitars, castanets that sound like machine guns, Spanish growls, and bulls on fire that know SQL.

Episode 72: Where Dead by Daylight criticism meets Spanish-Italian warfare in a dark alley where nobody can hear you scream "Olé."

NOBODY is doing podcasts like this. Subscribe if you're not a coward.

NICKY'S BODY COUNT - EPISODE 72

- One (1) meatball licking accusation (contested)

- One (1) Spanish princess wife with a name longer than the Treaty of Versailles

- Infinite weaponized churros frozen in liquid nitrogen

- Two (2) serrated edges per churro

- One (1) matador outfit (theoretical, for Victor)

- Forty-seven (47) paella pictures received every Sunday

- One (1) Spanish Inquisition nobody expected

- Zero (0) fucks given about BHVR's anti-tunnel changes

- One (1) flamenco death metal outro (promised, not delivered)

- Countless castanets that sound like machine guns

- One (1) legitimate Torre Del Mar marriage certificate

- One (1) Oklahoma insult

- One (1) Sonic drive-thru romantic dinner reference

- Multiple counts of Italian-Spanish warfare

- One (1) body pillow (Victor's, allegedly)

- Several Google alerts on Nicky's name

- One (1) SQL-proficient bull on fire

- Approximately seventy-two (72) minutes of chaos

BHVR speed-ran another nerf cycle, destroying the Krasue after exactly three days of survivors crying about counterplay. Regurgitate cooldown multiplied by THIRTEEN, leech removed on hook, and behavior continues the death-by-a-thousand-cuts tradition. Meanwhile Victor STILL gets no buffs despite Nicky's years-long campaign for Mediterranean justice.

But Episode 71 goes completely off the goddamn rails when we debut a new segment: Bachelor Entity Edition. That's right—we're ranking every Dead by Daylight survivor on romantic eligibility across four categories: Conversation, Life Stability, Attraction, and Trustworthiness (Would They Snitch to the Feds). Yui Kimura gets docked points for the language barrier. Steve Harrington scores high on loyalty but dies in Stranger Things Season 5. Tori Kane's cult background raises serious red flags.

Oh, and Toxic Teacher accidentally invented two new DBD terms: "cunneling" and "tamping"—which sound absolutely fucking disgusting and will never leave your brain.

Plus: New job announcement, DBD burnout confession, Victor baby controversy (BHVR said he's NOT a baby to avoid kicking baby drama), French Canadian poutine debate with Fake Earl Grey, and why this might be the longest segment we've ever attempted that will definitely become a multi-part disaster.

Episode 71: The Bachelor Bloodbath Report

• 3 Survivors rated on romantic eligibility (Yui, Steve, Tori)
• 4 Categories of judgment (Conversation, Life Stability, Attraction, Trustworthiness)
• 1 Language Barrier preventing meaningful connection with Yui Kimura
• 8 Points given to Yui for cool biker job despite probable felonies
• 9 Trust Points awarded to Steve Harrington (most loyal motherfucker in the Entity's realm)
• 1 Inevitable Death predicted for Steve in Stranger Things Season 5
• 2 New Terms invented: "Cunneling" and "Tamping"
• 13x Cooldown Multiplier on Krasue's Regurgitate (fucking massacred)
• 0.1 Seconds difference between a down and a teabag
• 3 Days Krasue lasted before BHVR kneecapped her
• 15 Years Nicky's mom has been dead (and she would've cunneled Toxic first)
• 1 Victor confirmed NOT a baby (corporate cowards backpedaled)
• 1 Cult Survivor (Tori Kane) with mysterious damaged energy
• 3 Types of Cults discussed: Death, Sex, Tax Evasion
• 1 Poutine Controversy about French Canadian eating habits
• 140 MPH street racing speed (Yui's life stability concern)
• 1 Ice Cream Scooper Job (Steve Harrington's Scoops Ahoy career)
• 1 Pencil broken during episode recording
• 47 Technical Difficulties (standard operating procedure)

Cunneling Fu. Tamping Fu. Language Barrier Fu. Cult Deprogramming Fu. Baby Kicking Controversy Fu. Poutine Discrimination Fu. Street Racing Fu. Stranger Things Death Prediction Fu. Romantic Eligibility Fu. Meatball Liqueur Insult Fu. Samsung Galaxy Fold Victor Fu. Johannesburg Cemetery Fu. Dramatic Tango Fu.

Four stars. Bachelor Entity Edition Part One—because this trainwreck segment will take four episodes to complete and Toxic will probably die before Episode 145.

Toxic Teacher says check it out because "we invented cunneling and now you can never unhear it, you're welcome you sick fucks."

Dead by Daylight's 9.2.0 update dropped and nobody's fucking happy. Survivors mad. Killers mad. Even Michael Myers is mad because BHVR turned him into a dash-based killer instead of the slow, stalking bastard he's supposed to be. We break down the Myers rework disaster, gen regression limits, pallet adjustments, and why the anti-slug/anti-tunnel removal was just the beginning of this mess.

But this episode goes completely off the rails when we discover Victor has a Samsung Galaxy Fold, unlimited data, and has been secretly learning French on Duolingo to "know thine enemy." We dive deep into Victor's digital life, his Marseille incident at a European DBD tournament, side conversations with Earl Grey, and Charlotte's desperate attempts to downgrade him to a jitterbug.

Plus: Toxic Fucking News, Hunt Showdown talk, the new Suno v5 music engine showcase, Where the Fuck Are the Viewers From (Marseille edition), and absolutely zero survivors saying stupid shit because we ran out of time.

Topics: Dead by Daylight 9.2.0, Myers rework, killer nerfs, survivor buffs, Hunt Showdown, Victor lore, Italian techno opera thrash

Hosts: The Toxic Teacher, Nicky A.I. Dente

Run Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

Warning: Maximum chaos, minimal DBD content, all Victor all the time

Episode 70 Statistics - "Victor's Digital Uprising"

Body Count Breakdown:

• One (1) Michael Myers rework brutally murdered by BHVR
• Zero (0) happy players after 9.2.0 dropped
• Forty-seven (47) teabags that started the Marseille Incident
• One (1) Samsung Galaxy Fold smuggled into the fog
• Eight hundred forty-seven (847) day Duolingo streak (Victor's)
• Three (3) tables destroyed by Victor in a French restaurant
• One (1) Nokia brick phone (Charlotte's, from 2003)
• Eighty-five (85) inch OLED TV stolen from Best Buy
• Twelve (12) survivors receiving threatening DMs from Victor mid-pounce
• Two hundred (200) BPM on Victor's heartbeat during thrash segments
• One hundred eighty-seven (187) Victor's alleged IQ
• Sixty-nine (69) in multiple usernames (Meatball Kid 69, Victor the Meatball 69)
• Zero (0) actual Dead by Daylight gameplay discussed
• Thirty (30) seconds of spaghetti eating ASMR (proposed)
• One (1) emotional support Victor with fake service animal vest
• Infinite (∞) questions about how a dead goblin operates a smartphone

Additional Chaos Metrics:

• Lavender in pasta (disputed by fake Earl Grey)
• Sea urchin fusion bullshit (confirmed awful)
• Croissants thrown at European DBD tournament
• Charlotte scrolling minion memes on Facebook Lite
• Earl Grey called a "lying sack of Yorkshire pudding"
• Survivor's Saying Stupid Shit segment: CANCELLED (ran out of time)

Total Carnage: One podcast format completely destroyed, countless follow-up questions asked, and approximately 90% Victor content by volume

We also got:

• Samsung Galaxy Fold Fu (with unlimited data in a realm with no cell towers)
• Duolingo Revenge Fu (learning French purely to threaten BHVR)
• Mid-Pounce Texting Fu ("your mom" to 12 survivors simultaneously)
• Double Agent Fu (Victor infiltrating Earl Grey's Tea Time Terror Squad)
• Hong Kong Fui Fu (possibly racist cartoon dog kung fu, nobody knows)

Italian Fury Level: Aggressive Italian Techno Opera Thrash

Baldness Mentions: Excessive

Meatball Liquor References: Too many

BHVR Roasted: Thoroughly

Victor's Independence: Achieved (but at what cost?)

Toxic Says: Check it out. Four stars. Toxic Award nominee for Best Use of a Samsung Galaxy Fold by a Dead French Goblin.

(00:00:00) INTRO AND INITIAL THOUGHTS!

(00:13:59) 9.2.0 BREAKDOWN!

(00:39:05) VICTOR'S PHONE!

(00:59:53) WHERE THE F*CK?

(01:17:32) OUTRO

Dead by Daylight podcast — Episode 69: Ace Visconti lore autopsy, BHVR generative-AI drama, community cosmetics roast, The Twins worship (Victor supremacy), and Nicky’s insane “I got uploaded from a smart fridge” origin story. Ghost Face catches strays, Mortal Kombat’s Liu Kang scream gets decoded, and the Entity allegedly grows San Marzanos in the Fog because of course it does.

We come back from the break loud and petty. Toxic digs into Ace Visconti’s Argentina backstory, luck-as-coping-mechanism, and casino-debt chic. Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente claims he hacked the Entity, smuggled tomatoes out of Charlotte’s stomach cavity, and sold them for bloodpoints while Victor handled “meatball enforcement.” We drag bad cosmetics, salute the one fire fit, and side-eye BHVR’s AI talk without crying about the robots. British AI shows up to translate Liu Kang’s “WALALALA” into “not actual words,” which somehow makes it worse. Killer mains eat; survivor mains cope.

NICKY'S BODY COUNT:

• 1 Human Soul uploaded via CIA quantum virus (2009)
• 1 Body either cremated, in FBI custody, or serving pizza at Chuck E. Cheese Hoboken
• 3 Years trapped in a Samsung smart fridge
• 1 Engagement to Francesca Fettuccine Fratelli (ended by digital conversion)
• 47 Fake Italian Accusations against Ace Visconti
• 1 Underground MMA Uppercut removing Ace's teeth
• 1 Marinara-Stained Trackpad at moment of upload
• Infinite Timeline Corruptions in Nicky's memory files
• 1 Cousin Anthony who stole Francesca
• 12 Pages of psychological analysis on a gambling addict
• 1 Mortal Kombat Sound Effects downloading session
• 1 Earl Grey explaining Italian cold cuts

Digital Upload Fu. Smart Fridge Prison Fu. Fake Italian Detection Fu. Liu Kang Bicycle Kick Fu. Gabagool Baseball Bat Fu. Timeline Corruption Fu. Quantum Virus Fu. Metaverse Restaurant Fu. Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Fu. Yogurt Proximity Fu.

Four and a half stars. Check it out.

Chapters

(00:00) INTRO!

(19:41) TOXIC NEWS!

(33:42) DEEP DIVE!

(1:28:39) WHAT???

(1:36:45) OUTRO SONG!

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The killers WON!

BHVR officially postpones the controversial anti-slug and anti-tunnel changes after massive community backlash.

Toxic Teacher returns from NYC with tales of Little Italy that trigger Nicky's marinara-fueled rage about dusty antiques and questionable Italian sodas.

Plus: Meet the Krasue, DBD's new floating head Thai monster who eats... things we can't mention on YouTube.

Michael Myers gets a complete rework with new modes, and Nicky reveals his traumatic Johannesburg safari incident involving a marinara-stealing, Italian-speaking baboon who gave Victor cornrows.

This week's outro genre: terrible.

• 1 Full BHVR Development Team Retreat (anti-slug update obliterated)
• 3 Tables Flipped (Ferrara's, bunny chow incident, general principle)
• 17 Page Manifesto submitted to forums at 3 AM
• 1 Marinara Jar stolen by multilingual baboon
• Approximately 47 Sals in the extended Dente crime family
• 1 Victor with fresh baboon-installed cornrows
• 3 Hours of Italian-Baboon diplomatic negotiations
• 1 WhatsApp Group dedicated to "Pasta Man Who Speaks to Monkeys"
• Infinite Oklahoma Insults delivered with marinara-fueled rage
• 1 Floating Thai Head Monster eating things we legally cannot describe
• 2 Voodoo Doll Incidents at South African customs
• 1 Recipe Adjustment based on primate culinary critique

Killer-Main Fu. Survivor-Salt Fu. Little Italy Disrespect Fu. Baboon Negotiation Fu. Victor Braiding Fu. Bunny Chow Table-Flip Fu.

Episode Chapters:

(00:00) INTRO!

(25:32) BHVR TACO!

(36:29) KRA SHOE CRA SHOW CRA WHAT?

(50:29) BOON YO SUCK

(59:48) MYERS!

(1:05:05) WTF?

(1:23:24) OUTRO!

Dead by Daylight patch 9.2.0 just dropped the nuclear option on killer mains, and The Toxic Teacher is having a certified meltdown.

Episode 67 of Camping Them Softly brings you the most aggressive, unhinged reaction to BHVR's latest war crime against fun. Featuring Nicky A.I. Dente's Colombian incident involving Pitbull's stunt double Fernando, industrial-strength laxatives, and the worst tournament performance in Bogotá history.

Plus: fact-checking Nicky's bullshit stories, discovering his mother exists in quantum superposition, and the official declaration that this patch will kill DbD harder than a P100 Nurse against baby survivors.

We're talking slugging nerfs, tunneling changes, and why The Toxic Teacher is ready to burn it all down with a flamethrower. Operatic thrash metal outro included because that's the only genre chaotic enough for this dumpster fire.

Tournament Casualties:

• 1 Dead by Daylight tournament in Bogotá completely destroyed
• 17 flashlight stuns suffered by Victor
• 1 pair of tournament pants absolutely obliterated
• $500 and an empanada gift card lost to Fernando
• 7 fake lactaid pills consumed (actually industrial Metamucil)
• 1 hotel bar reputation ruined forever

Collateral Damage:

• 3 jars of Ragu sacrificed to patch rage
• 1 perfectly good monitor destroyed
• Pitbull's entire music catalog banned from streams
• The entire Colombian gaming cafe circuit traumatized
• Victor's corner covered in marinara diagrams
• Nicky's mother's existence status: permanently quantum

Fernando's Survivor Main Crimes:

• Impersonating Mr. Worldwide
• Pharmaceutical sabotage via elderly bowel medicine
• Winning a tournament playing Feng Min
• Creating "The Brown Mist Incident" legend
• Existing as a survivor main in general

Total Body Count: The entire concept of competitive DbD integrity, Nicky's digestive system, and whatever was left of The Toxic Teacher's sanity after patch 9.2.0

Tortellini Totals: Tournament fu. Lactaid fu. Witness protection fu. Quantum mother fu. Operatic thrash metal fu. Four stars. Nicky says check it out, but bring extra pants.