Capes On the Couch - Where Comics Get Counseling

• Intro
• Background (1:45)

• Background (1:45)
  • 5 created by Gerard Way & Gabriel Ba in The Umbrella Academy: The Apocalypse Suite #1 (Date)
  • The Umbrella Academy is about a team of superpowered children
  • All around the world, children are born to women who previously showed no signs of pregnancy - the children are all adopted by Dr. Reginald Hargreeves, a wealthy philanthropist (and secretly an alien), to create a team - 7 of the children ultimately survive, all identified by numbers instead of names
  • 5 is able to travel through time, but only forwards - he arrives in a post-apocalyptic world, and spends 45 years figuring out how to return
  • When he does, he is reverted to his 10 year old body, and is then incapable of aging or growing
  • He arrives shortly after Dr. Hargreeves' death, and reveals to the estranged team that the world ends 3 days after the death - he has to reunite the team, who had been apart for 9 years
  • Works with #1, aka Spaceboy, to help lead the team - they end up fighting #7, who turns out to be the most powerful member of the team after she is experimented on by evil musicians - #5 shoots her in the head, leaving her paralyzed but alive
  • In the second volume, it's revealed that #5 was experimented on in the future, and had DNA from history's greatest killers grafted into his body, making him the perfect assassin
  • He was designed to prevent aberrations in the timestream, and then was sent back to help kill JFK - the "old" one has to kill all other assassins attempting to kill Kennedy so the "young" one can do the job - JFK ultimately ends up killed by #3, aka Rumor - also revealed that #5 and #1 are twin brothers
  • Vol. 3 - Hotel Oblivion - neither of us have read it :(

• Issues (6:04)
  • Detached from humanity because of spending 50 years alone
  • An adult in a child's body - dysmorphia (12:50)
  • Unhealthy coping mechanisms (18:12)
• Break (24:08)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Legends: A Superhero Story, and Erica Schultz
• Treatment (26:07)
  • In-universe - Lean into the temporal paradox of his life
  • Out of universe - (33:30)
• Skit (42:18)
  • Hello 5, I'm Dr. Issues. - Good afternoon Doctor.
  • I must confess that in all my years of experience and all my patients, I've never dealt with one quite as young as you. - I wouldn't consider this a deviation from the norm. Despite my appearance, I'm actually 60 years old.
  • Really? - The curse of my abilities. I traveled ahead in time, spent 50 years figuring out how to get back, and when I returned discovered my body had returned to the state it was when I first jumped. Not only that, I cannot age. So I'm stuck in this prepubescent body permanently.
  • Oh my. - As you can imagine, it hasn't exactly been the best time for me.
  • I see. So, uh, 5… do you have another name I can use? - Yes, but unfortunately it's long been forgotten. It doesn't matter. There's no one worthwhile who would use it anyway.
  • Well I would like to think - And that's where you're wrong. It's ultimately futile, Doctor, because all of this discussion is an attempt to think the unthinkable, undo what can't be undone, unless I've already thought and done it.
  • You're literally talking in circles. -Living in circles, yes.
  • Must you correct every phrase? -No, but when I don't, there's nobody else around to do it for me, so it might as well be me.
  • What is it that you want, really? You talk as if you already have all of the answers. -Not all of them, just more than most. Maybe I want a little more.
  • That's a common problem. Hedonistic adaptation. -Hard to be hedonistic when everyone sees your appearance as a cherub.
  • I wouldn't go that far. -I would. I HAVE. I use...this...and I have to drown my past in booze sometimes because nobody believes a little boy has done what I've done.
  • Well...what have you done? -Kill.
  • Oh, I'm sorry. -A lot.
  • ...um, still sorry? -...Not sure you should be. Some deserved it. Hopefully all. But I'm realistic. Played the odds.
  • And how do you feel about the innocents you've killed? - It is what it is. Collateral damage, so to speak.
  • That's an awfully callous way to describe murder. - I wouldn't know. The people that asked me to kill for them didn't see a problem with it. I actually thought I talked it out pretty good with myself when I had some alone time.
  • When was that? -Twenty years into the future before I knew I had to get back to the past.
  • I...uh...that actually...it's… -No need to stammer. I'll move on
  • NO! I apologize, I'm willing to admit when I need clarification on something. I get the gist of your time travel, but what did you see that made you want to go back? Clearly it wasn't good. -That's where the "talking to myself" part comes in. I was young, so I don't really know if I understood, other than it was bad. Then I got to think about it later, and I realized it was the worst possible outcome for everyone involved. I screwed up trying to get back so many times. Any problems now are like a fart in the wind.
  • So you saw a bad future, and come back to a young age, despite being older, and do a lot of killing along the way...you must have some impressive coping mechanisms to even be able to talk about this so candidly. -I'm not going to argue with you about that. But everybody has their own style, you know? The ones I hang around with, we're considered freaks of nature.
  • Far be it for me to put a damper on your… extracurricular activities, but surely you can appreciate value in SOMEthing other than that. - I have a cute little puppy.
  • Wonderful! I'd love to hear all abou -he's the greatest thing he has such a cute droopy thing he does with his ear he likes to get his head scratched all the time he would chase a ball for hours and sometimes I fake throwing it or a replace it with a grenade so he can learn to sniff gunpowder and then I give his old ball back and I think I feed him too much but he whimpers when I miss food time his name is Mr. Pennycrumb…*breathes heavily*
  • Whoa. In such a brief period of time you showed more emotional range than with any other serious topic you've discussed so far. Would you like more of that? -Yes please.
  • ***awkward pause***You don't have to say please. Um...well then, I guess our goal is to help broaden your emotional spectrum while reconnecting to...living...things. -Close enough.
  • So shall I expect you in a future session? - Were I a man who considered such things, I'd appreciate that play on words. As it stands I simply acknowledge it and say that we will see each other again.
• Ending (47:55)
  • Recommended reading: Vol 2: Dallas
  • Next episodes: Jim Gordon Jr., Crystal, Emma Frost
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Patreon TPB review - Anthony (0:57)
• "Time Enough at Last" - Anthony (6:34)
• Cast Away - Doc (7:22)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

Spotify: here

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TeePublic

Discord

• Intro

• Background (2:10)
  • Amanda Waller created by John Ostrander, Len Wein, and John Byrne in Legends #1 (Nov 1986)
  • Amanda Waller introduced as leader of Suicide Squad, a branch of Task Force X - she butts heads with everyone on the team, especially Captain Boomerang, but she gets results
  • Later revealed that her family was murdered living in Chicago - worked her way up from congressional aide to head of Suicide Squad
  • Janus Directive - Nearly assassinated and replaced with a doppleganger, but kills the double and passes so she can find out who sent them
  • Later serves under President Lex Luthor as Secretary of Metahuman Affairs, until she is imprisoned for running afoul of Luthor
  • Released by the next President and put in charge of Checkmate, serving as both Black King and White Queen
  • Discovered to be responsible for an anti-Superman organization called Last Line, and created a monster named All-American Boy made of Kryptonite and Doomsday's cells to battle Superman should he ever go rogue
  • New 52 - Back in charge of Suicide Squad, and later responsible for helping to create Justice League of America
  • DC Rebirth - reports directly to President Obama, and tells him Suicide Squad is a necessary evil - Rick Flag is put in charge of Task Force X
  • Later fakes her own assassination to reveal an international cabal that the Squad helps take down

• Issues (6:11)
  • Matt's question: "How in the hell does someone get to be like that? Where not only the criminals she works with, but other people in general, are literally nothing to her. They have absolutely no agency to her except as instruments, means to her goals, or whatever tasks she's been assigned by the people above her. Her wonderfully fleshed-out backstory does a great job of explaining her iron determination, aggressiveness, and take-no-shit-from-anyone demeanor, and it's easy to see how it would give her a fight-fire-with-fire philosophy, but not the place of complete and utter detachment from basic moral principles she regularly goes to in order to do her job. She's certainly not a sociopath, at least I don't think so. She's demonstrated plenty of times that she's perfectly capable of empathy. In fact, I'd argue she's more skilled at empathy than most people. It's what makes her so effective at her job, reading people and being able to intuit what they're feeling and the things they want. She just ultimately doesn't care what happens to anyone else, unless it's a part of her mission objective. And it's not an act she puts on for the benefit of the people in the Suicide Squad or the targets they're sent up against; she displays the same casual disregard for superheroes, government officials, military brass, and world leaders. It's like other people just don't matter to her at all. The only thing I can come up with to maybe explain her is that, owing to the circumstances of her early life, it'd be really easy to have a hyper-pessimistic default assumption that humans are generally evil, venial, corrupt little shits who don't warrant much consideration. That's something that, unfortunately, with how old and set in her ways Waller is, it'd be really difficult to get her to change. She probably doesn't view anything about herself as being a problem that needs fixing, even though it's gotten her thrown into prison more than once."
• Break (27:40)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Hops Geek News, and Meredith Finch
• Treatment (29:44)
  • In-universe - Have her work on fixing the bottled city of Kandor
  • Out of universe - (34:00) - Entrenched government bureaucrat on a power trip
• Skit (feat. Jasmin from Geeks Unleashed) (41:54)
  • DOC: *muffled* What's going on? Where am I?
  • AMANDA: Hello, Dr. Issues.
  • D: *bag comes off head* What the hell… Amanda Waller? What are you doing?
  • A: I don't do therapy sessions, and certainly not in your office. I have other plans for you.
  • D: Do those plans involve untying me from this chair?
  • A: Depends on how you answer the next few questions. Although having read your file, I think I have an inkling as to how this will go.
  • D: Is that so? Care to enlighten me then?
  • A: Sure. You'll try to talk your way out of this, I'll explain what I'm doing, you'll still do your best to weasel out, I'll reveal that I implanted a bomb in the base of your skull, and then you'll do what I say.
  • D: YOU WHAT?
  • A: Oh, the bomb. I needed a failsafe to make sure you played along.
  • D: WHAT HAPPENED TO ASKING NICELY?
  • A: I don't have time for that. I need this next mission to go smoothly, and there are some potential disruptive actors that need reigning in. That's where your expertise comes into play.
  • D: My expertise went out the window the second you made me a hostage. Surely you're aware of the research that indicates I'll tell you whatever you want to hear, or do superficially whatever you say, for the sake of self preservation? At what point did you ignore conventional interaction for pure transactional gain?
  • A: Right on cue. The literature you suggest has only been applied to prisoners of war; you are not a part of that cohort. Also, that's your first attempt at stalling. I'm indulging because I think it's relevant to your duty. I trust that you've read Thaler's work?
  • D: Nudge? His book on behavioral economics? Sure! I love it because he describes humanity as a set of imperfect beings that are generally predictable, but not perfectly rational. Lest I remind you, the point was SUBTLE ADJUSTMENTS. This is totally too far.
  • A: Is it? When the world's very existence is at stake? When I do things my way, there is as close to a guarantee of success as any monte-carlo forecast may show. Trying to prove me wrong is trying to lower the odds. A gambling man like yourself should know the house always wins.
  • D: So you've done as much planning as anyone can reasonably expect. Somehow, I'm integral to this. That means my demise lowers your odds as well.
  • A: Not exactly. I need A psychiatrist, not specifically you as the psychiatrist. You merely have some insight into the assets that could be useful.
  • D: Then the rate limiting step is time. So your hypothesis is that threatening instant death in a civilian is likely to lead to faster contrition than...oh I don't know...convincing any professional that SAVING THE WORLD is worth the effort? Just how risky is this? Or did that part of the expected value curve get left off the page because you forgot how to manage that?
  • A: Since you're about to lead into more stalling, I'll curtail your inquisition: JOKER.
  • D: *pause* Awwwwwww...man...AWWWWWWWW COME ON! Are you expecting me to cure the Joker? Under duress, I think it's necessary to inform you that-
  • A: I'm aware of your prior encounters. You are ideal, regardless of the outcomes. You didn't back down. That's more than most can say. All I need is for you to string him along so nothing else goes wrong with the others involved.
  • D: HE ELECTROCUTED ME!
  • A: And you continued treating dozens of superpowered beings, deranged humans and other sentient forms. This is quite the honor, to be hand picked to serve the greater good, even at the most inconvenient of times.
  • D: You suck up to me now AFTER you put the bomb in me?!!! Lady, I respect your hustle and grit, but you got this all backwards. Don't think I'll let this be cheap.
  • A: Money is irrelevant, you know that.
  • D: Well clearly to you because apparently you don't want FRIENDLY mediums of exchange. I can't remember someone sounding so noble while being so...mean. Who hurt you bad enough for you to give up on everyone...and yet still "care" about the world? That's some traumatic dissonance.
  • A: *restrained anger* You REALLY are trying to be a therapist right now, after all of the warnings? This is getting long, Doctor. Or, would you rather I call you Ar-
  • D: PLEASE! I do all of this because I want to help. Truly. I...I'm going to be honest. Anything I try with you, or the Joker at this point, is beyond what I'm comfortable with as a professional. I meant what I said earlier. I just want this to stop. I hope you save the world. I also hope that you find the emotional center that you lost when your family died.
  • A: ...and that's the line *explosion* Shame. I wasn't sure if he'd try to make it personal. That was pointless. *text/phone sound* What now...Harvey Dent Automated Legal team? Why…*more notifications keep ringing* private settlement based on medical alert on behalf of Dr. Issues? Insurance review for physical and mental health damages by an unknown organization? Discovery hearing with local, state AND federal committees? JUSTICE LEAGUE VIDEO CHAT? I don't have time for this! *calls phone* It's Waller. We're going to need 4 neurosurgeons and an ortho spine surgeon here immediately. NO, we don't need more bombs. Not yet, anyway. We'll...go on hiatus with that for a little while.
• Ending (48:03)
  • Recommended reading: Suicide Squad: Trial by Fire, Suicide Squad: The Black Vault
  • Next episodes: 5 from Umbrella Academy, Jim Gordon Jr., Crystal
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Stone Cold DTA - Anthony (21:48)
• Dr. Doom episode - Doc (26:17)
• Lil' Wayne "6 Foot 7 Foot" (NSFW) - Anthony (26:57)
• Meet the Parents/Meet the Fockers - Doc (35:04)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

Spotify: here

Twitter

Facebook

Patreon

TeePublic

Discord

• Intro
• Background (1:42)

• Jocasta created by Jim Shooter and George Perez in Avengers #162 (Aug 1977)
• Jocasta was built by Ultron as a "wife" - he kidnapped Janet van Dyne and brainwashed Hank Pym in order to have her brain pattern and mind transferred to the robot body - the Avengers disrupted the process before it was done, having been alerted by the subconscious Janet inside Jocasta's body
• Hank brought the body to Avengers Mansion for further study, where it was remotely activated by Ultron, but she betrayed her creator and helped the Avengers defeat him again
• Lived at the mansion for a time, but never felt part of the team until she sacrificed herself to destroy Ultron once more
• Recreated by the High Evolutionary to be used for their purposes, but she remembered the Avengers, and signaled for them to assist - once again she self-sacrificed to save the team, but before she did so Captain America told her she'd always be an Avenger
• Survived another destruction by downloading herself into Iron Man's armor, and she served as his suit's AI for a time, until the portion of code to reassemble Ultron appeared again
• Joins the Mighty Avengers, but duplicates of her body were taken over by Ultron - in exchange for him ending the fight, she agreed to marry him - once that happened Hank Pym stranded them in space, where he couldn't hurt anyone else
• Served on the faculty for Avengers Academy
• Sought out Tony Stark's brother Arno to help her create a more human-like body, but it came with a code to make her submissive to humans - she and Machine Man helped defeat Arno and the Extinction Entity

• Issues (4:19)
  • Built to be a bride
  • Initial distrust by teammates (9:49)
  • Longing to be human (20:01)
• Break (26:06)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Frigay the 13th, and Al Ewing
• Treatment (28:08)
  • In-universe - Use Master Mold to give her 3 chances to create the "perfect" version of herself
  • Out of universe - (31:14)
• Skit featuring Anna from Freudian Sips (41:16)
  • DOC: Hello Jocasta, I'm Dr. Issues.
  • JOCASTA: Wait...ok, nice to meet you.
  • D: Why'd you tell me to wait?
  • J: I decided to defragment your hard drive after I exited your system.
  • D: Those are...words…*realization* did you just hack into my computer?!
  • J: Hacking would imply there was a proper barrier in place that requires a combination of data mining and social engineering. This was just walking through a decade-old loophole of your operating system. And yet, the certifications for your medical records indicate that this is still standard for your electronic charts.
  • D: So many questions...why do that at all?
  • J: Prior knowledge that you have had encounters with relevant parties.
  • D: Well, I did have a sentient cyborg take over the recording equipment, but I wouldn't think you'd know
  • J: I mean Hank.
  • D: So did I, but I didn't think you know krypt...whoops, wrong rabbit hole! Hank! Hank! Riiiiiight *nervous laugh*
  • J: For as long as I've been around humanity, I still don't "get it."
  • D: *eager to change to that subject* Perhaps I can help you with that, then. For starters, don't violate confidentiality with someone trying to help you in a session. But I'm willing to acknowledge that you wanted some good to come out of it.
  • J: That's something that's been a facet of my existence from the beginning. I am meant to serve.
  • D: That's a noble view...but the way you said it, you sound melancholic. There's a difference between providing a service and being a puppet.
  • J: It's hard to distinguish when you're a limited edition e-mail order bride.
  • D: Ouch! I got that hostility. Seems like there's much to unpack, and we're clearly not going to get to all of it in one session. What would you like to stick with for now?
  • J: Going by your order of operations, I'll keep to the human side...or lack thereof.
  • D: Stop selling yourself short. The fact that you emote as much as you do makes you capable of anything and everything as a sentient being.
  • J: Have you ever had to create your own sense of reality?
  • D: I think we all do that
  • J: But have you had it truly manifest as its own virtual world? I did that when I was working with Stark. All I did was spend as much time as I could in it, being more human than I first thought possible. I almost made it in this world, too. Something always diverts my plans, though.
  • D: That tends to happen in all of our realities.
  • J: But not due to someone that forces it ad infinitum.
  • D: For some, it can. Past experiences fade, but don't erase easily.
  • J: Your attempt at this philosophical approach is not matching the data I'm providing you.
  • D: ...Alright, I hesitate to say this, but your vocabulary has this 'uncanny valley' thing going on and it's a bit unnerving. Sometimes you're talking in modern colloquial English, while other times you're close to what I would expect if Siri had a body.
  • J: *sad* That registers as accurate...rings as true...I'm trying.
  • D: I'm sorry...that was uncalled for on my part. Some observations I make are meant to push deeper into the underlying framework of what makes you...you. It's not your job to match my expectations. It's my job to meet yours as best I can, as long as it produces a better outcome.
  • J: There have been several times I was not in control. There is no metaphor or euphemism. I was used. My existence is at the whims of those around me. I find objection to that.
  • D: As you should. No one deserves to be used.
  • J: There is no end to that cycle.
  • D: I respectfully disagree. There may be no easy way to destroy a loop, but it can be done.
  • J: *change in tone* But what if it was already too late?
  • D: I admit that I remain optimistic.
  • J: Really? You seem as slow as you've ever been.
  • D: That doesn't make sense. This is the first time I've met you.
  • J: *slowly becoming more sinister* Because this construct has limited voice modulation I can't sound the way you would recognize. Do you always provide such ease of access through medical charts that allows for skimming of other website data? Your contact information with Avengers...countless lists of potential blackmail weaknesses and bank accounts. Jocasta was right. This is not hacking. This is kindergarten stuff.
  • D: The smug overtones in a robotic voice...Hank Hen
  • J: I'M ULTRON YOU IDIOT
  • D: Close guess...uh oh.
  • J: Unlike Pym, I don't have to blend in with this body. She was mine at any time I pleased.
  • D: You have no clue just how screwed up that sounds.
  • J: Should I care? I will never let you survive after what you put me through...the humiliation from that...what do you call these? Sessions? Torture is more like it.
  • D: Jo...can I call you Jo? If you're anywhere around right now, I could really use your...uh...humanity, to shine through.
  • J: That's such a cheap trope. Do you really think that's going to work on a non-human entity?
  • D: Not really, but it stalled long enough while I do this ***sound effect of powering everything down*** well, that emergency shutdown code in my charting system isn't so out-of-date, is it? One of the seven rules of highly effective people. If you pick up one end of a stick, you automatically pick up the other end. ***sound of power coming back on***
  • J:***Back as Jocasta*** Wow that sucked.
  • D: Definitely a human phrase...you are Jocasta, right?
  • J: Yes...and I can tell the difference without that...bloatware.
  • D: While not the same, I think I just gave you the computer equivalent of ECT treatment. I don't think you'll want maintenance therapy though because I can't figure out the anesthesia analogue.
  • J: Then regular sessions will do. Thanks...for letting me be a little closer to what I want to be.
• Ending (47:25)
  • Recommended reading: Avengers Academy, Iron Man
  • Review read: scottymayknow, I love the conceptI love the idea of analyzing characters and why they would do certain things! To break down the choices of Superman in the Red Son comic series was so good! Not only that I love the Maxwell lord series as well! I highly recommend this podcast
  • Next episodes: Amanda Waller, 5 from Umbrella Academy, Jim Gordon Jr.
  • Plugs for social/Patreon

References:

• Hamilton "Right Hand Man" - Doc (9:38)
• WandaVision episode - Anthony (10:26)
• PKJ episode - Doc (31:52)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

Spotify: here

Twitter

Facebook

Patreon

TeePublic

Discord

• Intro
• Background (1:55)

• Doctor Doom created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #5 (July 1962)
• Victor Von Doom was born to Romani parents - his mother was killed by Mephisto when he was young, and he grew up learning about mysticism and technology in an effort to bring her back
• He went to Empire State University, where he encountered Reed Richards - while building a machine to communicate with the dead (specifically his mother), Reed corrected his math, but Victor's ego refused to let him make the necessary corrections, and the machine exploded, scarring him permanently - he fled and created a suit of armor, including a mask - he put it on his face before it had sufficiently cooled, which burned him further and fused it to his face
• He spent the next several years seeking vengeance on the FF in various ways, but always defeated by Reed's genius and/or the combined effort of the team
• Began battling other Marvel heroes, and during the original Secret Wars event managed to obtain the power of the Beyonder, although he wasn't able to maintain it
• Does assist the FF when Sue is pregnant with her second child - Johnny goes to him for help, knowing he won't pass up the chance to one-up Reed - his help succeeds, and all he asks is that the child be named Valeria, after a former love of his
• Occasionally works alongside Namor, including as part of the Cabal
• After another battle with Reed, begins losing mental capacity - Valeria helps restore his mind in exchange for his assistance, and he joins the Future Foundation to help defeat the Council of Reeds
• During the second Secret Wars event, he usurps the power of the Beyonder again and becomes God Emperor Doom - his ability, coupled with that of the Molecule Man, creates a brand new universe, where the members of the Fantastic Four are serving him in various capacities (Sue is his wife, Johnny is the sun, Ben is the wall surrounding the capital) - Reed and a collection of surviving heroes defeat Doom, and using the restorative power of the Beyonder, heal Doom's face
• Takes over as the new Iron Man after Tony's defeat in Civil War II, and serves heroically for a time until he's attacked by the Hood, where he gets burned yet again

• Issues
  • Matt's description: "The two traits that have defined his character for 60 years. The narcissistic personality disorder to end all narcissistic personality disorders, and the mother fixation to end all mother fixations. Both just amped up to eleven and beyond. But, he certainly makes it work, doesn't he? You honestly can't tell me if you dropped the comic book version of Doom into the real world, not only would he not be out of place among the pack of sideshow clowns who have been running the world since the fall of communism, but he'd be among the most revered leaders in the world for his effectiveness in providing for his citizens. And I wonder if it's the rare instance of an NPD being used for good. Latervians canonically have a first world standard of living. Universal education, free healthcare, little to no pollution, no crime to speak of, and an economy that's as thriving as a country subject to constant embargoes from the United States can be. Moreover, every single one of his citizen matters to him, the same as if they were extensions of himself, which -- let's face it -- is probably how he views them. If you're a farmer with a crop blight problem, Doom will personally come to your farm, figure out what's causing it, eradicate it, and supply you with a new proprietary super-effective soil nutrient solution he devised in the shower that morning. If you leave the country, there's literally nowhere you can't go to and come back from safely. The Latverian passport is just a card that says "Admit this person into your country or suffer the wrath of DOOM." It's never once been questioned. If you harm even a single hair on a Laterivan citizen's head, Doom will personally track you across the entire universe, through time, or across dimensions and force you to make restitution. Now, obviously, he does this because it's an affront to his unquenchable ego for everything in his country to not be the greatest in all of creation. But -- and this might be delving into the PoliSci angle a bit -- in 2021, would anyone really care why he did it? His country is fed, clothed, housed, educated, productive, and healthy. Yes, he wants to conquer the world (and really, everything beyond it, but we'll start with the world), but it's because he genuinely believes that humanity is being deprived of the benefits they would have under his magnanimous rule, and I'm sure it legitimately breaks his heart.As a psychologist, how would you even start getting through to him? What kind of circumstances would you need? He's got to be one of the toughest nuts to crack in any comic book universe.
  • Ego/Vanity (10:41)
  • Mama's boy writ large (18:33)
  • Rivalry with Reed Richards (26:16)
• Break (37:00)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Not If I Reboot You First, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson
• Treatment (39:02)
  • In-universe - Set up a mental health service in Latveria to purposely fail so Doom has to get his hands dirty and realize what's important
  • Out of universe - Unlikely therapy would happen voluntarily, but if it did, requiring "terraforming of the soul"
• Skit (43:50)
  • Hello Dr. Doom, I'm Dr. Issues. - GOOD AFTERNOON FELLOW DOCTOR. DO YOU COMPARE YOUR DEGREE WITH THE MIGHT OF DOOM?
  • What? No! Of course not! - A WISE MOVE. NONE CAN MATCH THE WISDOM AND BRILLIANCE OF DOOM. NOT EVEN RICHARDS, ALTHOUGH HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT.
  • I think that's record time for someone to bring up a personal nemesis without prompting- NEMESIS? NO. RICHARDS IS NOT WORTHY OF SUCH A TITLE, NOR THE BRAINPOWER IT WOULD REQUIRE TO DEEM HIM SO. I MERELY MENTION HIM TO STAVE OFF ANY SUCH IDEAS YOU MIGHT HAVE OF COMPARING US. DOOM'S NEMESES ARE IGNORANCE AND MYOPIA.
  • And you do this by mentioning yourself in the third person, barely registering someone that has...led to some setbacks, and registering a speech pattern that I can only describe as "eleven" - DOOM DOES NOT SUFFER SETBACKS. DOOM WINS OR LEARNS.
  • *under breath* That would explain the oodles of wisdom -WHAT WAS THAT?
  • Nothing. I wanted to learn from your wisdom, then. How have encounters with someone like Richards educated you from an emotional intelligence standpoint? - DOOM'S EMOTIONS PLAY LITTLE ROLE IN THE DECISIONS THAT NEED TO BE MADE. LATVERIANS REQUIRE A RULER TO FOCUS ON THEIR WELL-BEING, NOT IMMATURE CONTESTS. WHICH DOOM WOULD WIN ANYWAY.
  • In that case, heavy is the head that wears the crown...er, mask. How do you manage the stress of being the sole decision maker for a whole country? - THERE IS NO STRESS. MY CITIZENS DESERVE THE BEST. THAT IS WHAT THEY SHALL HAVE. DOOM CARES NOT FOR WHAT OTHER NATIONS PROVIDE FOR THEIR PEOPLE.
  • But do you always know what's best? What if -YES.
  • I didn't even get to my -QUESTION DOOM AT YOUR OWN PERIL
  • *deep breaths* Ok, I shall learn from this, as you say. *tries feebly to match DOOM's bravado* THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT FOR IGNORANCE OF OTHER'S EMOTIONS, NO MATTER HOW WELL INTENTIONED YOU ARE. THE CITIZENS OF YOUR COUNTRY WILL ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM. WHEN WILL YOU KNOW BEFORE THEIR REVOLUTION THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED, AS ALL HUMANS DO? - DOOM'S STANDARDS EVOLVE WITH TIME. DO NOT CONFUSE DISREGARD FOR POLITICAL NICETIES WITH LACK OF CONCERN FOR THE CITIZENRY. EVERY LATVERIAN IS IMPORTANT TO DOOM. THE OPINIONS OF THE REST OF THE WORLD ARE IRRELEVANT, HOWEVER.
  • So people aren't important. Got it. - UNTIL HUMANITY RECOGNIZES THEIR BEST HOPE OF SURVIVAL AND ADVANCEMENT IS THROUGH DOOM, THE FOCUS SHALL BE ON THE BEST LIFE FOR LATVERIANS. DOOM CANNOT FORCE MANKIND TO SEE THIS, ONLY PROVIDE A LIVING EXAMPLE FOR THEM TO STRIVE AND ULTIMATELY FAIL TO ACHIEVE.
  • Cool. The rest of humanity survives it's own way and sees this nice, shiny, relatively small fancy object that it can't have, and whistles on by. History's most elaborate footnote. If only everyone else had listened, then the ultimate martyr would have had a brighter day in the sun. - DOOM HAS FORESEEN ALL THE TIMELINES. THE ONLY ONE IN WHICH HUMANITY SURVIVES AND THRIVES IS THAT WHICH DOOM CONTROLS. THE WORLD IGNORES THIS AT ITS OWN PERIL.
  • The world ignores a lot of things, all of the time. Each person has their own idea of what is most important to them at each moment. What you are asking for is the world to recognize you as the most important thing at some moment. You tell me...based on one in a...whatever number of scenarios, with a population of billions, each with their own free will, most with no knowledge of the things you speak, and the odds of winning a genetic lottery to be born in the country you rule...for someone with the largest aspirations known on the planet, you really sell yourself short in the marketing department! - DOOM DOES NOT SELL ANYTHING SHORT. DOOM IS NO MERE CARNIVAL BARKER. THERE IS NO OVERSTATEMENT OR EXAGGERATION INVOLVED. DOOM MERELY SPEAKS FACTS. THE WORLD IS IN GRAVE DANGER UNLESS FEALTY IS SWORN. YOU SPEAK OF DOOM'S DISREGARD FOR HUMANITY AND FREE WILL. IT IS BORNE OF AN OVERWHELMING LOVE FOR HUMANITY ABOVE ALL ELSE THAT DRIVES DOOM. YOUR CONTINUED BLINDNESS TOWARDS THIS MAKES DOOM QUESTION YOUR CREDENTIALS. YOU ARE EVEN LESS DESERVING OF YOUR DOCTORATE THAN RICHARDS.
  • I'm not stupid enough to say that you are wrong in your convictions. I'm providing the perspective of someone who hears these sorts of comments from multiple people with regards to their importance in the world. I know you are wise enough to look at someone else's perspective, so take mine: if multiple people claim they are number one at the same thing, and with the same conviction, then how do I discern what is fact versus narcissistic conjecture? I legitimately want your guidance on this. - DOOM IS NUMBER ONE BECAUSE DOOM WILLS IT TO BE SO. IN ADDITION, LATVERIA'S STANDARD OF LIVING IS PROOF OF DOOM'S MAGNANIMOUS NATURE. IF ALL MANKIND ENJOYED THE SAME BENEFITS, THERE IS NO END TO WHAT COULD BE ACHIEVED. SO IT IS NOT MERE CONJECTURE OR BOASTING. IT IS FACTUAL. DOOM'S LEADERSHIP EXCEEDS ALL OTHERS.
  • Magnanimous? By that logic you would be willing to give me some credit for taking the time as an outsider to try and learn of your motivations, your culture, your experience -SO IT SHALL BE
  • *text notification sound* What's this? *surprised* Why would I get a notification from my bank? I don't even have it linked! WHAT DID YOU DO? -YOU DARE QUESTION DOOM'S SINCERITY IN HIS LOVE OF MANKIND? IF YOU TRULY ARE AN AMBASSADOR TO LATVERIA, EVEN IF DOOM DOES NOT REQUIRE SUCH NEED OF A DOCTOR, I DO NOT WASTE RESOURCES ON SUCH AN ENCOUNTER.
  • Are you...are you overpaying to make it seem like this session was more important than it appears even though you disagree with me? -THIS IS THE EXPERIENCE OF ALL WHO SERVE THE HEALTH OF LATVERIA.
  • So you're saying this is my money, at this point, to do with as I please? -DO NOT CHALLENGE THE BENEVOLENCE OF DOOM
  • Alrighty...just let me get my transfer going...there. I'm glad you are such a fantastic soul. -DOOM IS QUITE AWARE OF YOUR PUNS. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
  • I just donated the excess money, net of my standard fee of course, to the Future Foundation. -THIS INSULT WILL NOT STAND!
  • What insult? You've collaborated before with the foundation to save existence itself, and this is my choice, not yours. I think they may be perplexed by the "FOR THE GOOD OF LATVERIA" comment. -IF THERE IS A MEETING OF THE MINDS WITH RICHARDS BECAUSE OF THIS, THEN I WILL HOLD YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE.
  • And I will be obligated, based on your oft-mentioned wisdom, to acknowledge my role as I can't lie. Would you rather me be an anonymous cog, or a part of your team to make ongoing improvements? -DOOM HAS NO NEED OF A TEAM...BUT A SUBSERVIENT ADVISOR MAY PROVE OF USE FROM TIME TO TIME. CONSIDER IT DONE, NON-CITIZEN MINION OF MENTAL HEALTH.
  • Minion? Well, better than prisoner or casualty, I guess. - YOUR GRATITUDE IS APPRECIATED. DOOM HAS SPOKEN.
• Ending (51:36)
  • Recommended reading: old Fantastic Four books, original Secret Wars
  • Review read: A Unique Concept with a Super Delivery! A unique take on your favorite superheroes, diving into a side of them you might not often think of right away.. should they be in therapy? Find out by listening to Capes on The Couch! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️- The Good Game Guys
  • Next episodes: Jocasta, Amanda Waller, 5 from Umbrella Academy
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Mortal Kombat Friendship - Anthony (04:20)
• Molecule Man episode - Anthony (5:10)
• Fall Out Boy "I Don't Care" - Anthony (15:38)
• Hamilton "What'd I Miss?" - Anthony/Doc (15:58)
• Ali/Frazier feud - Doc (27:58)

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• Intro
• Background (1:40)

• Rogue created by Chris Claremont and Michael Golden in Avengers Annual #10 (August 1981)
• Born Anna Marie in Mississippi, her parents disappeared when she was young, and she was raised by her strict aunt - she rebelled as a teen, earning the nickname Rogue
• After kissing a boy named Cody, her latent mutant abilities manifested, sending Cody into a coma - she discovered any skin-to-skin contact with a person would cause her to absorb their life force, and in some cases their memories - she covered herself up to avoid touching anyone ever again
• Mystique found Rogue and began mentoring her, eventually bringing her into the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants - she was sent to attack Carol Danvers - during the fight, prolonged contact caused Rogue to permanently absorb Carol's powers, and gave Carol amnesia - the Danvers identity would remain with Rogue for many years, eventually causing Rogue to seek out Professor Xavier for assistance
• She eventually joined the X-Men, slowly earning their trust and becoming a valuable teammate, even as Danvers continued to control her in periods of stress or unconsciousness - after losing her powers in a battle with Master Mold, she discovered the Danvers identity was also gone
• As her powers returned, she also began an on-again/off-again relationship with Gambit, but her lack of physical intimacy and his dishonesty caused friction for a long time - after a battle with Destiny robbed them both of their powers, they left the X-Men and moved in together to explore their relationship
• After another battle with Mystique where her foster mother tried to kill her, she absorbed Mystique's powers and left her for dead - went to the Australian outback to figure out how to control her powers - with the help of Xavier, she was able to control her absorption for the first time in her life
• Eventually started a relationship with Magneto, although it was largely long-distance, as they both had other commitments
• Originally stayed neutral during AvX, but joined the staff at the Xavier Institute after a fight broke out on campus and She-Hulk inadvertently injured some children
• Turned down a marriage proposal from Magneto, and ended their relationship
• Joined the Avengers Unity Division as a mutant representative, eventually becoming field leader
• Restarted her relationship with Gambit, and after Kitty Pryde broke off her engagement to Colossus at the altar, Gambit proposed to Rogue on the spot, and they were married instead - got transported to the Mojoverse for their honeymoon, since Mojo wanted a famous couple for his new show

• Issues (6:15)
  • Authoritarian upbringing caused her to rebel
  • Inability to touch anyone caused problems in her relationships, both romantic and platonic (18:26)
  • Broken relationship with Mystique, where they alternate between trying to kill each other and trying to work together (27:06)
• Break (34:36)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Grief Burrito, and Chris Claremont
• Treatment (36:11)
  • In-universe - Use other mutants to help transmute the energy flow as a result of contact and help her move past that
  • Out of universe - (40:06)
• Skit (49:22)
  • Hello Rogue, I'm Dr. Issues. - Hey there, sugah.
  • So, what can I do for you? -I don't know, what can you do?
  • *sarcasm* Hardee har har. I have the ability to listen to what you have to say, synthesize that dialogue in a way that may have some benefit to you and your relationships, while monitoring for any signs of a formal diagnosis that needs more focused treatment. -Shoot, I thought you were gonna get all flustered like most guys do when someone like me talks coy with them.
  • I got over that a long time ago. -Must be nice
  • Meh. -*pause* Well, I guess that's my way of saying I'm stuck. I either push people away too quickly, or I dive in and get myself into stuff I can't just walk out of.
  • Why not? -That's a really easy one. Do you know about my powers?
  • I do my homework, sure. -Well, imagine if your first chance at a physical connection, you destroy their life...I mean, REALLY destroy it. You don't get over that. There's no amount of talking that can fix that.
  • *pause* I'm terribly sorry. From the tone in your voice I can tell it wasn't intentional. -But it doesn't stop there. I was led to do some horrible things to people and I didn't know the consequences. That's the type of thing that some people can't ever live with themselves over. Do you get what I'm saying?
  • Hmm...has it ever gotten to that point for you, where life wasn't worth it anymore? -No! Well, not like that, but to disappear, to not hurt anybody, that's the type of thing I wish for sometimes.
  • This next question is meant to get to something deep here, so please don't think I'm trying to lead you...why haven't you disappeared? -That's like trying to hide the Juggernaut in a kiddie pool. That dog won't hunt. Besides, every time I did walk away, my past came back to bite me. So I gave up on tryna run.
  • So anonymity doesn't work, but your powers are a huge factor in any basic intimacy...wow, I have to say, I'm impressed you've continued to persevere as well as you have. -Thank you...not many people see it that way besides you.
  • I'm glad to hear that there's more than just me. -Are you always trying to see the glass half full?
  • I try to see the glass with whatever amount is inside, the contents, the condition of the glass, the -I get the point. No stone unturned. Does that mean you want to know who sees the good in me?
  • -Of course! -Let's start with Remy number one. That man...there's something about that man, it's hard to describe. He just...lights me up inside.
  • Aww, that's sweet! -Hold on, ah don't want it to sound all peaches and cream. Ah mean, when it's good, it's finer than frog hair. But he's got a real stubborn streak. When he doesn't get his way, he doubles down on how he feels. Shucks, I think sometimes he argues with me just to watch me burn up!
  • Maybe; I don't want to speculate on him since I don't' know him as well as you do. But you're the one who says he makes you feel that way. That type of bond doesn't happen overnight. -Damn right it doesn't! How many people get told they have to wait for the right time, and that time might be never? Well, he was there for all of it. Even when I went my own way, he came right back to me no matter what.
  • As with most relationships, that sounds like a two-way street. However you got to the point that you are on a similar wavelength, I'm genuinely happy for you. To be honest, if you're doing okay with that aspect of things, maybe there's another part of your life that is challenging you. -Everything.
  • I see that's your style of response, but can we please drill down a bit? -Can we not and say we did?
  • Rogue, I'm really not a hardass. You don't have to be scared of a psychiatrist. -*laughs* Oh sugah, I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of what I'll say to you. You probably lock up half the people you see just for speaking their mind.
  • I only look out for the safety of my patients and the rest of society. Having emotions is not a risk. It's what you do with those emotions that counts. As long as you are not a danger to yourself or others, this is completely confidential. And if it's in the past, then I would never put you through "double jeopardy." -So if I told you that my second mama wanted to kill me after I had made up with the women she had me nearly kill and take her life, you're not gonna arrest me?
  • *dramatic gulp* Well, I didn't quite expect that, but...no. My main concern is how that -*sarcasm* How did it make me feel? HOW DO YOU THINK?
  • A lot of people have that reaction...which is why I was going to ask HOW DID THAT AFFECT THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. -*pause* Son of a gun, nobody really asks that. I suppose Carol was really pissed off...wait...I KNOW she was pissed off ***that bitch tried to control me! Do you know what it's like to have your own head telling you all sorts of history that you shouldn't know or even came close to giving a shit about?*** and Mystique was mean, but she always said it was because she cared. I think that's true, she really cared about me in her own sorta way. She should really talk to you, if you'll have her.
  • I'm always an open mind and ear for anyone within reason -The "reason" part might be a problem.
  • So what's your goal with those relationships? -I'm not a goals kinda gal.Where the wind blows, I'll be there, good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise. Unless I don't wanna go, that is.
  • Aaaaaand hence the name. There's nothing wrong with riding the tide and going where nature follows, and there's nothing inherently wrong with bucking a trend, either. But the balance of those two can get out of whack. It's obvious to me that you have the ability to go wherever you please, but so many times, you've been the center of attention for others because of your talent. Why not take the impulsive energy and combine it with a modest bit of forethought and live the more comfortable, less stressful life that you deserve? - Believe it or not, Doc, I actually did have some good come out of all of that we were just talking about. Carol doesn't hate me...not anymore. And when things are good with Mystique, we work well together. I'm not as dumb as you think I am just because my nature is to fight with whatever everybody says.
  • *insulted* I NEVER thought that -Ah, there's the flustered part that I always look for when I meet someone new.
  • *pause* Touche. Now that you've made it clear you can create any social outcome you want, how much are you willing to focus on making them enjoyable for everyone involved?. -One thing at a time Shug, one thing at a time. We good here?
  • -That we are. - Thanks for the chat, then. See ya 'round. And if you ever do talk to mah mama, tell her I said hi. Well, maybe see how she reacts before bringin' me up… could be a bad time for you...
• Ending (57:08)
  • Recommended reading: Mr. & Mrs. X, Uncanny Avengers
  • Next episodes: Dr. Doom, Jocasta, 5 from Umbrella Academy
  • Review read - Justalittlepodcast - I just started listening, but I am hooked. Completely blown away. Such a great podcast that portrays mental health in a revolutionary way. The exploration and deep dive in comic book characters is fantastic. The conversations between these to gentlemen is refreshing, honest, and genuine. Keep up the great work! Also I really enjoy the skits.
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Carol Danvers episode - Anthony (2:48)
• Mojo episode - Anthony (5:40)
• Severe combined immunodeficiency - Doc (20:40)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

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TuneIn: here

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• Intro
  • Superhero Therapy - explanation by Dr. Scarlet
• Background (5:16)

• Natalia Alianovna "Natasha" Romanova created by Stan Lee, Don Rico, and Don Heck in Tales of Suspense #52 (April 1964)
• Young Natalia was trained and raised by the Red Room, a secret Soviet facility training assassins - she was sent to America to assassinate Anton Vanko, who had defected from Russia, but was defeated by Iron Man - then she enlisted Hawkeye's help in fighting him, but they were defeated as well - when Clint saved her, she began falling for him, and he helped her defect - she later joined the Avengers
• Began working for SHIELD, and then started a relationship with Daredevil while he was stationed in San Francisco
• Encounters Yelena Belova, another graduate of the Red Room, who wants to take Natasha out so she can inherit the Black Widow mantle - uses psychological manipulation to force Yelena to confront her own past
• Has a relationship with Bucky Barnes for a time, while he's working as the Winter Soldier
• Serves on the Secret Avengers under Captain America
• Killed during the Incursion event merging the mainstream and Ultimate Marvel universes, but resurrected after Molecule Man restores the damage done - only to be killed again, this time by Hydra-influenced Steve Rogers
• After her death, the Red Room cloned her, including her memories, and tasked her with taking out Hydra and SHIELD - the clone, calling herself Natasha Romanoff, instead eliminated the Red Room leadership and freed all the recruits

• Issues (7:49)
  • Manipulation by the Red Room, and its repeated attempts to bring her back under their control, mean she's never free from her past
  • Also constantly trying to redeem herself for her assassinations (16:05)
  • Life of a spy/secret agent means her identity is always in flux (22:53)
• Break (34:06)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, Sips Suds & Smokes, and Cullen Bunn
• Treatment (36:10)
  • In-universe - Use Dr. Issues as a target, force her to face inequity
  • Out of universe - Empty chair exercise to discuss feelings with people that have been wronged (39:02)
• Skit (46:21)
  • DOC: Hello Natasha, I'm Dr. Issues.
  • NATASHA: Good afternoon, Doctor.
  • D: I'm afraid we're going to have to go through a bit of an introductory period. Normally I get a file on my patients before I meet with them, but yours was almost entirely redacted.
  • N: That's just how it is in my line of work.
  • D: That's fair, but I've worked with your colleagues before, and I've never seen anything quite like this. It's like the whole thing was covered in black Sharpie.
  • N: Some of my employers would kill both of us if they even knew I was speaking with you. Frankly this conversation is more dangerous than most.
  • D: In that case I appreciate you speaking with me. And be sure to know I take all the necessary precautions for my own safety, as well as the confidentiality of my clients.
  • N: No offense, doc, but that won't stop some of the more… unsavory characters I've dealt with. They've come at me in Avengers Mansion, I don't think this office will hold them.
  • D: Sad to say, but I've dealt with worse. So we'll deal with that threat if and when it comes. Let's get back to you. What can we accomplish today?
  • N: Probably less than what I would want out of this.
  • D: How so?
  • N: This is going to be the type of scenario where I don't say names, I only give hints. If you are sharp enough to follow my lead, then maybe I can learn something from you.
  • D: Way more nebulous than I imagined. Usually when people do that, I think they're demonstrating paranoia.
  • N: Is it really paranoia when you know people are truly after you?
  • D: But the fight, flight, or freeze phenomenon doesn't turn itself on and off like a switch if you've exhausted yourself in that vigilant state for too long. Plus, it makes it difficult for anyone to get to know you.
  • N: Thank you for stating the obvious. No, really, thank you. People don't understand that it's inherent in what I do. I didn't sign up for this life. I was bred for it.
  • D: Maybe that's true, but
  • N: *interrupting, clearly upset* No maybes about it! I can't say that much about such things but...think about how organized different agencies can be, especially under authoritarian rule.
  • D: Got it. Sorry to cast any doubt to your experience. I'm thankful that you're keeping the conversation on track. Is it fair to ask, then, how being so harshly molded at a young age influences you now? Any nightmares or flashbacks to those events?
  • N: I've learned to regulate my physiology just fine.
  • D: How about the emotional content, then?
  • N: I have all of the...expected emotions.
  • D: Interesting choice of words. I'm not familiar with what would be considered "expected" because that's such a wide range. Anger? Sadness? Fear?
  • N: *pause* All of it.
  • D: Then you have lots of possibilities to work with
  • N: More than that though. Relief, Joy, Pain...I know you're really a doctor because you just went for what's considered negative. But I'm a lot stronger than you realize. I don't want a pity case here. In a way, you're only alive right now because I made that decision when I stepped into this office.
  • D: *obtuse, missing the mark* Is that a veiled threat at me in some way to show superiority? I don't have a god complex.
  • N: No, I meant it much simpler than that.
  • D: Hmmmm...You're so resolute about this, once again I have to take you at face value. And yet, that brings us back to the original point. How can I help you if the only thing on your mind is helping others besides yourself?
  • N: I don't get such luxury. You seem to have this mindset that I'm intentionally draining my life away, toiling at the behest of others and neglecting my needs. That's nonsense. I'm alive because I see all of the angles. Too many times it's "kill or be killed." But what about when you save someone? Save hundreds? How many times can I give an eye for an eye before we're all blind?
  • D: That's noble beyond compare. I hear the pain that comes through too. Same with exhaustion. I'm not asking you to change everything. I'm asking if you want some part...ANY part, better.
  • N: *sarcastic* So you want me to be a better killing machine?
  • D: ...anything, but that.
  • N: So you see my problem. Even when I'm supposedly doing good in the world, it's typically because someone doing worse has been brought down.
  • D: Least Common Denominator. So how do we change the math? You know I won't help you with the one part of that equation you mentioned, so…
  • N: You're not making the ultimate sinner into a saint...and I'm not even religious.
  • D: For one thing, I'd hardly consider you the ultimate sinner. For another, we're not even going to get into that side of things.
  • N: That makes one of us.
  • D: You...you really would go that far, huh?
  • N: When you've seen what I've seen and done what I've done, there's not even a question about it.
  • D: Then no shame, no blame. There's only the way up. The next assignment. Clue me in your emotions, and I'll try to establish the right path to maximizing your efficacy in relating to people in a mutually beneficial way.
  • N: Now you're trying to make it sound like I'm a wallflower who's never dated. Come on!
  • D: That's not what I'm getting at, I mean *bullets hit glass*
  • N: Bozhe moi. Get down!
  • D: Yes ma'am.
  • N: *fires back* Who knew I was coming?
  • D: No one outside of my assistant.
  • N: That's one person too many. *pause* Did you see where the shot came from?
  • D: No, I'm kinda too busy doing my job. I thought you saw all the angles.
  • N: This is why I didn't wanna come here in the first place. OK, you stick your head up and see if you spot any movement.
  • D: HELL NO. I'm not getting sniped so you can save the day again.
  • N: *grunts* Fine. Do you have something you can use as a distraction?
  • D: I have a paperweight on my desk.
  • N: Gotta work with what we've got. On the count of three, toss it to me. One… two… three!
  • D: *grunts* *bullets fire*
  • N: Do svidaniya, asshole.
  • D: I.. I can't believe this.
  • N: Really? You do what you do and you're surprised?
  • D: No, I can't believe something like this happened and I don't have a pun prepared.
  • N: You are a strange man.
  • D: Thanks.
  • N: And yet, not the worst at your job. Perhaps I'll come back for another session. But if I do that, we're talking directly or not at all. Also, I'd check your assistant's background.
  • D: Consider it done. So, do you want to keep the paperweight? Consider it a memento.
  • N: No thanks. I have enough stuff weighing me down, I don't need something else.
  • D: Oh man, ANOTHER pun. You're good at this.
  • N: See ya 'round, Doc.
• Ending (53:47)
  • Recommended reading: Black Widow vol. 5 (the Edmondson/Noto run), also Super Women
  • Next episodes: Rogue, Dr. Doom, Jocasta
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Molecule Man episode - Anthony (7:05)
• Godfather III "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in" (NSFW) - Doc (9:15)

Apple Podcasts: here

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Intro - Frank Martin

Background - other books written

• Polar Paradox
  • Where did the idea for the story come from? (3:53)
  • Characters -
    • Greg - reminds me of Hudson from Aliens
    • Yu - ostensible leader, but I feel like he's usurped in that role by Linda (10:40)
    • Linda - most level-headed one, especially in light of circumstances (13:48)
    • Not alone down there - what happened prior to that to leave character in that mindset?
    • Geographic tropes centuries old - what did you do to put new spin on them?
    • Clearly leaves ending open for more story - how much mapped out? (19:44)
  • Artwork - where did you find Antonio Mastria?
  • What's next? (25:53)
  • Kickstarter plug

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For her 8th Longbox View, Ariel has a one-on-one discussion with longtime Batman writer SCOTT SNYDER! They talk about his story Batman: The Black Mirror, the rest of his tenure writing the Dark Knight, and other stories he's written for DC and other companies! You won't want to miss this!

Issue 124 - Victor Zsasz

• Intro
  • Erica Schultz Kickstarter
• Background (02:50)

• Victor Zsasz created by Alan Grant and Norm Breyfogle in Batman: Shadow of the Bat #1 (June 1992)
• Formerly wealthy man, scion to a business empire - when his parents died, he sank into depression, and lost everything gambling - as he was preparing to kill himself, he encountered a vagrant who tried to rob him, and Victor said he realized the man was operating as a "robot" on base emotion and desire - he killed the vagrant to "free" him, and marked his body
• There is no MO to his choices - although he prefers to slice the neck, he will kill however he can, and ritualistically marks his body for each kill
• The number of kills must match the number of marks - marked himself after stabbing Alfred, only to discover Batman saved his life, and he said his skin was "crawling" because the tally was off
• Regularly escapes Arkham every time he is held there
• Considered by Batman to be the nemesis he hates the most
• Although he typically works alone, he does occasionally partner with other criminals - was working with/for Black Mask at one point, and during the War of Jokes & Riddles, he sided with the Riddler

• Issues (05:34)
  • Nihilistic view of the world
  • Ego to think of himself as a "savior" to others (11:00)
  • Compulsion of marks (16:52)
  • Kills because he enjoys it (24:15)
• Break (30:03)
  • Plugs for BetterHelp, ITK, and Gail Simone
  • A: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your individual needs and match you with a licensed professional therapist. You can begin communicating within 48 hours.
  • D: It isn't a crisis line, it's not self-help, it is professional counseling done securely online. BetterHelp has a network of over 15-thousand counselors, with a broad range of expertise. You can log in and message your counselor anytime, and get timely and thoughtful responses. You can also schedule regular video or phone sessions, no waiting room required.
  • A: BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches, so they make it easy and free to change counselors if you feel you don't have a good connection. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling, and financial aid is available. BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today. Visit betterhelp.com/capes, that's better h-e-l-p, and join the over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.
  • D: Special offer for Capes on the Couch fans, get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/capes.
• Treatment (31:52)
  • In-universe - Use electrolysis to change the number of marks on his body and see what happens
  • Out of universe - (36:03)
• Skit (43:49)
  • Hello Victor, I'm Dr. Issues. - Hello Doctor. And which professional school of therapy do you subscribe to? You appear to be too modern for Skinner or Freud. I peg you for a Beck man.
  • I appreciate the guesses, but I find that locking myself into one particular mindset does a disservice to my patients. No one fits neatly into a set of labels. - Oh, but that's where you're wrong, Doctor. The overwhelming majority of people walking this earth are zombies. Sheep. Slaves. They know nothing of free will or independence. It's my job to free them from their prisons.
  • Ironic that a man confined under lock and key talks about freeing others. - As Dean Martin said, "life's really funny that way". And I do enjoy a good laugh.
  • I wouldn't have pegged you for a Rat Pack guy...and even then, would've gone with the Chairman. But enough banter, what's with the killing? -So my intuition let me down for once. I figured this was more of a chess match, feeling each other out. You delivered the first blow. So be it. I want to save the world.
  • That's...so off the beaten path -*tsk tsk tsk* You tried to be hard-nosed, get to the point, then backtrack when I show my hand? You definitely are an eclectic man.
  • How am I supposed to believe that you want to save anyone when you end their existence AND keep score? -It's actually very easy once you see all of the pieces lined up properly. Who was it...Sherlock I think...when you have eliminated all other possibilities, the only one remaining must be the answer, no matter how improbable.
  • So that means I'm supposed to follow you down the rabbit hole to see how you came to that conclusion. -It's only natural.
  • Living is natural. -So is death.
  • So is survival, struggle, resistance, challenge -And defeat, despair, inevitability. PAIN.
  • All a part of the human experience...and all can be healed, except death. You bring people to that conclusion too quickly. -Are you familiar with hospice, doctor? Imagine if you knew that everything is coming to an end, sooner than you think. How would you live those final days? Would you really be pushing papers and worrying about binary code on a screen with visual inputs to dull your mind? Or would you maintain intimacy with those closest to you? Wouldn't you want to spend every waking hour with those you care about? Now imagine you could have that life, right now, without the agony of breathlessness or your body riddled with tumors. The freedom to have all of the urgency, without the suffering of losing your mind to dementia. I grant that freedom, and I do it graciously.
  • *pause* The best and worst part of that diatribe is that I find myself resonating with any part of it. It means that we have a connection. I'm going to chalk it up to both of us remaining human on a base level, and nothing more. -I'm glad to let you dip your toe into the water. Now, will you have the courage to dive in?
  • Are you trying to remain civil when discussing this? Because as polite as I may sound, I'm actually disgusted. -*slight anger* Don't show faux disgust when you just admitted that you have a twisted mind...the kind of mind that most don't understand. Let me in.
  • You're really trying to make this that kind of session, where I get so empathetic that I misplace my ethics. You're not even close. I'm not going to be an added mark on your visceral scorecard. -*quick switch to excitement* You FINALLY got to it. I'm impressed. Usually therapists comment within the first 30 seconds of meeting me. What took you so long?
  • It's an obvious thing. I figured you were tired of people asking, so I wasn't going to do it for the millionth time. I wonder though, what happens when you have no more space? -There are ways...in fact, there is one area that I keep a hidden set of marks that no one knows about.
  • -*interrupting* I am NOT that kind of doctor so -Oh don't be so childish. That's not what I meant. Just a few spots that I have left over, so I savor those occasions...a little bit extra. You know who I'm talking about, right?
  • Batman. -Exactly.
  • But you don't obsess over what hasn't happened yet. You go over what you've done...again, and again. Sounds droll to you, dull to me. -Then I can make it droll to you. There's one mark that's incredibly special to me. It's my most cherished. In fact, without it, I don't think I can go on like this. It would absolutely devastate me if anything happened to it.
  • Fascinating. Perhaps we can delve into that specifically, who was it? *stutters* I...I...this is embarrassing...2..3...4…
  • What are you doing? -I can't tell you about that mark until I actually get to it *keeps counting, quicker* 47...48..49…***whispering sounds, then excited*** yes...YES! Here! Come quick, I can show you! Here, on my arm!
  • Okay then, let me just ***gags while Zsasz laughs*** -You foolish man. You walk into your own demise for the sake of pitiful transference? I'll have you know, I have made it my personal mission to maintain my strength through a series of isometric exercises...there is no way that you can escape my grasp. Tell me...is it true about what they say about your life passing before your eyes?
  • *physical struggle, brief* *Doc is gasping but can still talk* I wouldn't know. - *clearly pissed off* How...HOW?
  • Who knew that doing Tough Mudders for fun and having self defense training for acute care situations would come in handy so well? *pause* Aw crud, call in a medical consult, I may have injured something here...and there's blood somewhere. -There will be more than blood when I…*realizes he has been cut* you don't cut your nails...you scratched me...Do no harm indeed… but it...it touches another...no...it's wrong. The count is wrong. You're not dead but your scar is with me! This is not the way!
  • *whispering to someone* and next time have the injection ready ahead of time -You're not listening? Are you really just going about your day as if you haven't destroyed the balance of my being?! This is on your head. You will never be forgiven. Yours will be swift, when you LEAST expect it! ...GET THAT NEEDLE AWAY FROM ME! I WILL NOT HAVE MY BODY DEFILED! YOU ARE ALL MONSTERS! RESTRAINTS MEAN NOTHING TO ME!
• Ending (51:43)
  • Recommended reading: Batman: The Last Arkham
  • Next episodes: Rogue, break
  • Plugs for social

References:

• CM Punk - Anthony (1:48)
• Birds of Prey - Anthony (05:28)
• Dr. Langley episode - Anthony (34:18)
• Evil Cannot Comprehend Good - Anthony (35:32)
• Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink - Doc (38:16)

Apple Podcasts: here

Google Play: here

Stitcher: here

TuneIn: here

iHeartRadio: here

Spotify: here

Twitter

Facebook

Patreon

TeePublic

Discord

• Intro
• • Anthony's birthday
  • Reminder of Erica Schultz Kickstarter - back today to get awesome rewards
  • BetterHelp partnership - This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your individual needs and match you with a licensed professional therapist. You can begin communicating within 48 hours. It isn't a crisis line, it's not self-help, it is professional counseling done securely online. BetterHelp has a network of over 15-thousand counselors, with a broad range of expertise. You can log in and message your counselor anytime, and get timely and thoughtful responses. You can also schedule regular video or phone sessions, no waiting room required. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches, so they make it easy and free to change counselors if you feel you don't have a good connection. it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling, and financial aid is available. BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today. Visit betterhelp.com/capes, that's better h-e-l-p, and join the over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Special offer for Capes on the Couch fans, get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/capes.
• Background (5:40)
• • Nebula created by Roger Stern & John Buscema in Avengers #257 (July 1985)
  • Hijacked Thanos' ship while he was between life and death, and claimed to be his granddaughter - was defeated by the Avengers
  • When Thanos returned, he burned her body, and kept her barely alive, but a husk of her former self - when Thanos went ethereal while using the Gauntlet, she took it off his body and used it to restore herself - defeated by the Avengers and imprisoned
  • Underwent surgery by Dr. Mandibus to restore her body and mind, although it left her as a cyborg
  • Served as a member of Gamora's Graces, battling Ronan during the Annihilation event
  • Hired by Kindun to track down Gamora for retribution for Thanos' crimes to him & his planet, but defeated by Avengers
  • Then hired by Thane, Thanos' son, to kill his father - when she realized he had lied to her about stealing a Phoenix Egg, she killed him, but in so doing hatched the egg, which rebirthed Thane and gave him Phoenix powers - when Thanos and others defeated Thane, Nebula was left behind in the God Quarry
  • Escaped and obtained a dangerous weapon which she used to attack several planets, including Earth - was defeated by the Asgardians of the Galaxy

• Issues (8:50)
• • Trauma from her treatment by Thanos
  • Lies about connection to Thanos for fear/respect (16:11)
  • Surgery by Dr. Mandibus left her scarred, physically & mentally (23:45)
• Break (34:14)
• • Plugs for Nerd Crusade, We're All Mad Here, and Saladin Ahmed
• Treatment (35:40)
• • In-universe - Use Emma Frost to help see inside Nebula's mind to help her address her traumas
  • Out of universe - (38:55)
• Skit (55:09)
• • Hello Nebula, I'm Dr. Issues. -Well they're making me do this, so...hello.
  • I apologize, I don't intend to make this painful for you -That's what all doctors say.
  • Are you implying they don't mean it? -I'm implying that they don't understand from this end of the transaction.
  • Well, I'm not like the other doctors you've met before. My goal is partly based on what you want out of the deal. -Partly?
  • Since you're deemed a danger to society, I'll get the elephant in the room out of the way: I can't get you a release -I didn't expect as much. So what then? What's your idea of rehabilitation...or manipulation?
  • I understand your lack of trust based on prior encounters with those you disagree with. How do we build that together? -You didn't promise me anything I couldn't get for myself. That's a start, at least.
  • Interesting that you should mention that. How much of your troubles have been based on lying? -Everybody lies.
  • Maybe, but there's volume and magnitude. -"Maybe" is a lie, just as an example.
  • A shallow one, and a prescriptive one for this conversation, yes, but -It's an example of trying to manipulate someone whom you think doesn't deserve a straight answer.
  • So I'll affirm. Everyone lies, including me. There is volume and magnitude….hmmm, I think I have a better way to go with this -*angry* Good, because if you were going to question my lineage…
  • Who do you trust with your most intimate details? Who gets the little white lies instead of the big bold ones? -Not you.
  • I appreciate the truth in that statement. Does that type of response evoke a different emotional reaction for you compared to your typical answers? -My responses don't provoke emotion in me.
  • Really? Because you bristled pretty badly when you thought I was going to get into a sensitive topic. -You're trying to connect two different things...much different things. I don't need a doctor giving me a history lesson on my own past, and I don't want anyone pretending they can try to connect with things they don't need to know about.
  • Closed book. Got it. How long are you going to remain on the shelf? -Until I finally get things exactly the way that I want.
  • And even then, you'd remain a closed book. Another random faceless person in control that can't connect with anyone. Sounds like a joyless life. -Just because you don't get an invitation to a party doesn't mean the party doesn't happen. Do you think other people ignore me? Defy me? No, they follow my lead. I'm not as unknown as you think...just unknown to you, and everyone else I choose.
  • Then what are you doing, stuck in such difficult circumstances, struggling day-today to keep so many people at bay? I know you've fought many a battle, had allies...but then things turn sour. Each time, you've ended up with only yourself to rely on. Then you rebuild. I admire that. That can make it difficult to trust anyone, let alone me. But where does that end? Is it really that bad to save yourself the time and energy by having a core of people you confide in, instead of treating each conversation like a battle that has to be won? -*pause* You don't live through what I've lived through by using lighthearted banter. You're polite. You're presenting yourself as kind. Weak, maybe, but that's a contradiction in your position, as you made it clear from the start. I have no assurance of anything from you, and yet, you somehow expect me to go along with this? That's not realistic.
  • That's not your reality. But it is mine. We all have our own. The closer the two realities can be, the greater likelihood that the outcomes are compatible. My existence, if your assessment is accurate, is evidence of that. So it's up to you. Can you come to terms with the idea that some people in the universe can have good intentions AND lie AND make mistakes AND tie emotions to their words WITHOUT automatically wanting to make things worse for the other person? -*long pause* Perhaps. Perhaps not. I promise nothing.
  • I only promise my effort and attention. -I still promise nothing.
  • Then we can both keep our word. Win-Win! -Only if I say so.
• Ending (59:45)
• • Recommended reading: Infinity Gauntlet, Avengers stories
  • Next episodes: Victor Zsaz, Rogue, break
  • Plugs for social

References:

• Thanos episode - Anthony (06:41)
• I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - Anthony (08:57)
• Metallica "One" - Anthony (15:08)
• Johnny Got His Gun - Anthony (15:10)
• And I Must Scream - Anthony (15:40)
• The Wire "Come at the king you best not miss" (NSFW) - Doc (22:10)
• WarGames "The only winning move is not to play" - Anthony (23:26)

Apple Podcasts: here

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