Career Blindspot

Why Your Ego Makes Mentorship Hard to Find

Juan and Courtney discuss why people struggle to find mentors, arguing that ego and assumptions (that mentors don't like you, are too busy, or you already know enough) keep people from asking for help even when others would gladly provide it. They note that wanting to mentor isn't the same as being the right mentor, and emphasize evaluating credibility, proof of experience, and access, sharing examples like seeking trusted peers for buying a first home and consulting doctor and pharmacist friends during COVID by asking what they personally would do. They contrast this with Courtney's IVF experience, where feeling like she was "bothering" people and hormonal stress reduced receptivity to support. Another barrier identified is fear that finding a good mentor means having to make uncomfortable changes. They conclude that you don't have to follow advice, but not asking is the bigger problem, and warn against "experts" who claim to know everything.

00:00 Career Blind Spot Intro

00:28 Why Mentors Feel Hard

00:51 Ego and Being Dadded

03:17 Finding Credible Help

06:13 Asking for Support IVF

08:26 Mentorship Means Change

09:04 How I Seek Advice

10:31 Call to Action Wrap Up

Birthday Hotel Stay Sparks a Conversation About Rest and Self-Care

Courtney explains she sent Juan to a downtown Phoenix hotel for two nights as a birthday gift because they have two kids she's still sleep training and she wanted him to get time away, though it was only two miles from home. They discuss how taking time for yourself prevents resentment and irritability and how Courtney struggles more with self-care, often insisting she doesn't need breaks. They broaden self-care beyond "bubble baths" to include practical tasks that reduce mental load, and emphasize resting to recover from illness rather than pushing through. Courtney notes activities that help her recharge, including sewing, spending time with her best friend Matt, massages, and especially learning to take naps instead of scrolling on her phone, using a timer to rest.

00:00 Birthday Hotel Getaway

01:00 Why Time Away Matters

01:40 Courtney Struggles With Self Care

02:54 Oxygen Mask Reality Check

03:34 Rest Is Real Self Care

04:04 Choosing Recovery Over Hustle

06:05 Recharge Habits That Work

07:43 Selfish Or Necessary Reset

09:21 Naps Not Doomscrolling

10:41 Wrap Up And Thanks

What Would It Take for You to Give Yourself Proper Rest?

In a solo, on-the-fly episode, Juan asks what it would take to give yourself proper rest, reflecting on a birthday staycation Courtney booked at an older downtown Phoenix hotel near Van Buren that has changed over time. Though only a few miles from home and not his best sleep, he values the space to reset, enjoy simple pleasures without shame, and practice being present. He compares restorative rest to letting a phone cool down and stop draining energy, not just plugging it in while still overworking it. He notes how people dismiss rest as "just sleep more," argues that avoiding rest can be insecurity, and suggests a nap or snack can help when overwhelmed. Drawing on their IVF experience, he emphasizes that supporters need rest too, and that high performers rest well; his call to action is to pursue truly regenerative rest anywhere.

00:00 Todays CBQ Setup

00:36 Staycation In Phoenix

01:25 Why Rest Feels Hard

02:39 Phone Battery Metaphor

03:35 No Shame Rest Rules

05:03 Presence And Letting Go

06:02 Late Nights And Reset

06:49 IVF Lesson On Support

07:08 Rest Like A Champion

07:48 Simple Call To Rest

Why did I build the Blind Spot Community?

Because I want to help more people than 1:1 coaching allows — and because most of us already know what to do… we just don't keep doing it.

In this episode, Courtney and I break down the purpose of the community and how the three tiers are designed for different stages:

• Tier 1: practical handouts + monthly updates for people who want tools they can actually use
• Tier 2: DIY coaching + hiring resources, a 1:1 call, and the weekly group for support and momentum
• Tier 3: year-long check-ins, deeper assessment work, and an AI consult with Courtney to apply AI safely and effectively to real problems

We also talk about the real reason this exists: the same concepts land differently depending on the person. Sometimes one word change makes the whole thing click.

If you've been looking for structure, clarity, and a way to stay connected to your own goals without a massive commitment, this episode explains the lane.

Why did you dump me in 2004?

That's how this episode starts.

But this isn't just a relationship story. It's about rejection — in love, in leadership, in sales, and in career growth.

We talk about:

• Why rejection feels isolating (even when it's necessary)
• The difference between being rejected and being freed
• How rejection forces the next chapter
• Why leaders must normalize "no"
• Sales, negotiation, and the flinch test
• The shame that keeps people silent
• Why if you're not getting rejected, you're probably not swinging big enough

Rejection hurts.

But it also clarifies. It strengthens. It redirects.

And if you don't learn to process it, you'll avoid the very risks that move you forward.

Rejection isn't a gift in the moment. It's a gift in hindsight.

Embrace the blind spot.

What does a leader need to know about AI — if they're not planning to become an expert?

More than you think. Less than you fear.

In this episode, we unpack what actually builds credibility around AI for leaders:

• Embracing the fact that you don't know everything
• Avoiding the "curse of knowledge"
• Why curiosity beats certainty
• How fast iteration changes leadership expectations
• Why technical expertise doesn't automatically equal strategic leadership

AI is not just a technical shift. It's a mindset shift.

The leaders who will thrive aren't the ones pretending to know everything — and they aren't the ones dismissing it either.

They're the ones asking better questions.

Embrace the blind spot.

For years, I've coached leaders using a framework I never fully explained — until now.

The BS Model (Blind Spot Model) reveals where your attention goes and what it produces:

• Intentional Presence
• Task Execution
• Reactive Distraction
• Avoidant Coping

Most people live externally focused and call it productivity. But without internal clarity, busyness turns into burnout.

This episode breaks down:

• Why "I'm busy" is a warning sign
• How reactive distractions quietly take over
• The difference between being productive and being aligned
• Why burnout isn't accidental — it's patterned

Nothing in this model is "bad." The problem is when you don't realize where you're operating.

Embrace the blind spot.

Why aren't our babies sleeping?

That's the question. But this episode isn't just about sleep.

It's about leadership, ownership, energy, and what happens when a system that once worked starts slipping after a new variable is introduced.

Sleep training is project management. Regression is iteration. Exhaustion changes your standards.

We talk about:

· Why knowing what to do isn't the same as doing it

· How depletion impacts decision making

· Ownership vs resentment

· Redefining "done" when circumstances change

· Why you shouldn't make system decisions when you're exhausted

Whether you're leading a household, a team, or yourself, the lesson is the same:

Step back. Lay it out. Define the next iteration. Then execute — rested.

Embrace the blind spot.

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CBQ: How do you change someone's attitude?

Changing someone's attitude is not about force. It is about awareness, sequence, and humility. In this episode, Juan and Courtney explore why you can not skip emotional stages, why progress is often smaller than you want, and why the first attitude you must check is your own.

Drawing from Tribal Leadership and Tattoos on the Heart, they unpack the five workplace "t-shirts" people wear—and why trying to yank someone from "my life sucks" to "everything is great" rarely works.

HIGHLIGHTS

• "You can not force someone to wear your t-shirt." – Juan
• "Progress is progress, even if it annoys you." – Juan
• "Sometimes blunt honesty is what actually gets through." – Courtney
• "If I am at 'I'm great, you suck,' I am part of the problem." – Juan
• "Gratitude shifts the shirt you are wearing." – Juan

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• Juan | Courtney

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