Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?

We're gonna talk about the dumb kung fu movie but y'all something FUCKED UP happened last week.

Never in your life will you be more disappointed to not see a man get his heart ripped out of his chest,

This week on Cartridge Cinema Club, we watched fucking Pixels.

A man watches his child get brutally murdered in front of him in this movie and you feel absolutely nothing while it happens.

The Detective Pikachu trailer was released last week and Mark and Alex are having a collective out-of-body experience, followed by nearly an hour of exasperated discussion on The Rock's least favorite movie, "Doom".

After Alex takes up a solid minute failing to remember how to say "framing device", the crew spends an entire episode digging into the absolutely appalling gender politics of 2007's "Hitman".

Everything remains entirely under control this week as Mark and Alex are able to vividly recall the plot and characters of "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" in exquisite detail.

This week, Mark and Alex spend 45 minutes trying and failing to express how they felt during the bewildering and harrowing experience that is watching 1993's infamous communist propaganda film "Super Mario Bros."

This week, Mark and Alex tackle the 2001 "classic", Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, with a focus on the objectification of women in video games and the strange surrealist appeal of early 2000s CGI.