Union mascot and picket line pariah Scabby the Rat is under attack by the Trump Administration (God, is there anything they CAN'T do?) so Chad dons his worst Ray Liotta impression (and the great Robbie Ellis takes to the keys to keep up the atmosphere) as they pull back the wacky waving curtains on the dark underworld of Mascots.

In 2017, Equifax, one of the only three credit bureaus in the US, was hacked, making over 147 million people vulnerable to identity theft and general fuckery. Then they had the nerve to promise $125 to those compromised as part of their $425million settlement, forgetting how math works.

Anyway Chad got wasted, we're sorry.

ALRIGHT! Who did it?! Which one of you was it?! Seems a little troublemaker got a hold of a doctored graphic of the Presidential seal and decided to troll the Turning Point USA Summit! Chad's on the case and he always seals the deal. Plus CLARK IS BACK! So you know this one's quality.

Here it is! From the legendary 6 hour Machete Blowout of 2019: Chad's infamous summer sum up. Thank you to all who came out and made Chad get emotional. Happy Summer.

Gripped in a heat wave, Chad takes the controls and goes all in on getting his groove thing on about the infamous DISCO DEMOLITION of 1979 while Clark is out on RAGBRAI (Don't forget to hydrate!). A few things to note: There are some corrections so just like, let it go, it's hot.

Brought to you by Jeppson's Malört: She's a winner!

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas and "Win Place or Show" by the Intruders, disco4lyfe.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago's historic Green Mill Lounge courtesy of Jacob Serio and then on Chad's phone cuz Clark's out of town, go easy on him.

Please rate, review and shake your groove thing.

After 67 years of farting on celebrities and not actually worrying about it: MAD Magazine is ceasing publication of original material and a bunch of dudes are MAD about it! Fortunately Chad is here to clean that shit up with MAD respect for the "usual gang of idiots" celebrated legacy as American's longest running humor magazine.... but Clark's out of town, so sorry about the sound y'all. Please rate and review.

Brought to you by the MAD geniuses at Jeppson's Malört

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas: America's Band

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge on Chad's phone.

Please actually rate and review and we'll do better next time.

STOP THE PRESSES! Just kidding, don't actually do that, it's a pain in the printed ass. Chad goes all in on the scandal that America Vander-bilt during the Great Depression cuz a tawdry tale of the upper-crust was just the kinda pizza the people's needed to snack on. So get thirsty cuz it's time to spill some 20th century tea!

Shout-out to WildClaw Theatre's annual DEATHSCRIBE! Submissions are open until July 31st so send them your scaries.

Brought to you by THE Jeppson's Malört: The shot that's a scandal in your mouth.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas which is on a need to know basis and you need to know!

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge and then in the safe soft sanctuary we call BENDER Studios.

Please rate and review and keep it classy.

Hey! You guys! Madonna's back! Her new album MADAME X dropped this week and Chad took the time to respectfully heed the decrees of the Queen of Pop and then report back, track by track, with his final thoughts on the 14th studio album from the 60 year old legend. Meanwhile, in BENDER studios, the boys reminisce about the death of rap recaps and make a promise they couldn't possibly keep... Listen in, won't you?

Brought to you by Jeppson's Malört: The Shot of Shots

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas: Your Song of Songs

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge courtesy of Jacob Serio and then in the grassy field of tranquility we call BENDER Studios.

Please Rate and Review and Put Your Lover to the Test

Chad dives in on the 75th anniversary of the D-Day invasion when several near-centennial veterans decided the best way to honor being ordered to jump into a the largest seaborne invasion in history ... was to do it again (which is why we respect our elders even if we're arguing with them at Thanksgiving) and then Chad and Clark solve a mystery!

Brought to you by Jeppson's Malört: The official drink of the revolution.

Featuring the song "Promises" by the Barrerracudas

Recorded LIVE at The Paper Machete at Chicago's Historic Green Mill Lounge courtesy of Jacob Serio and then in the safety bunker called BENDER Studios.

Please rate and riggity-view, hurd?

The 92nd Annual Scripps National Spelling Bee was savaged by 8 nonpareils and Chad is still dazzled and when this is over you too will be flabbergasted. Just don’t ask him to spell any of that.

Brought to you by Jeppson’s Malört: The shot if Champions ...of legal drinking age.

Featuring the song “Promises” by the Barrerracudas which we still can’t spell right on the spot.

Recorded LIVE at the Paper Machete at Chicago’s Historic Green Mill Lounge and then in the cloaked ship in orbit we call BENDER studios.

Please rate and review and ask for it in a sentence.