Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

What happens when your child is diagnosed with ADHD… and suddenly everything about your own life starts making sense?

In this episode of Chaos & Caffeine, I’m joined by Tracy Otsuka, ADHD coach, podcast host, and fellow late-diagnosed ADHD mom, for a conversation that so many parents don’t even realize they’re about to have.

We talk about:

• Discovering your own ADHD after your child’s diagnosis
• Why so many moms—especially high-achieving, high-masking women—are diagnosed last
• The grief, relief, rage, and validation that come with a late ADHD diagnosis
• Letting go of shame, perfectionism, and “why can’t I just handle this?”
• And the reminder every overwhelmed ADHD parent needs to hear: it’s all going to work out

This episode is for the parent who:

• Was “fine” until their kid was diagnosed
• Suddenly sees their childhood, burnout, anxiety, and coping strategies in a whole new light
• Is trying to parent an ADHD child while re-parenting themselves

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, self-identified, or quietly wondering if ADHD has been the missing piece all along—this conversation will make you feel seen, steadied, and hopeful.

Grab your coffee. Take a breath. You didn’t miss the boat. You’re right on time.

Connect with Tracy 👉 Tracy Otsuka

This Month's Sponsors:

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Hallowell Todaro ADHD & Behavioral Health Center 

A strength-based practice co-founded by Dr. Edward Hallowell that actually gets ADHD. They offer evaluations, therapy, coaching, medication management, and parent support that focuses on what’s strong about your kid, not just what’s hard.  

✨ Social Thinking 

Social learning that helps kids, teens, and adults understand the why behind social behavior, not just memorize a checklist of “correct” moves. Their tools, curricula, and resources teach social cognition, perspective-taking, flexible thinking, and real-world problem-solving.

📱 Talkspace 

Therapy that fits real life. With Talkspace, you can message or chat with a licensed therapist right from your phone, no face-to-face required. Perfect if you’re shy, anxious, overwhelmed, or just communicate better in writing. 

🎒 Miacademy 

An online learning platform that makes school feel less like a daily power struggle. With engaging videos, games, quizzes, and built-in rewards, Miacademy helps K-8 kids stay motivated while giving parents tools to track progress without hovering. 

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves!

What if the missing piece in ADHD parenting isn’t more structure, stricter consequences, or better behavior charts—but permission?

In this powerful, grounding conversation, I’m joined by ADHD-informed parent coach and educator Dana Crews to talk about what it really means to see ADHD in full permission—for our kids and ourselves.

Inspired by Dana’s work with CHADD, this episode explores how permission-based ADHD care helps parents move out of constant crisis mode and into something far more sustainable: connection, regulation, and trust.

We unpack:
 – Why control-based parenting often increases meltdowns and power struggles in ADHD kids
 – The difference between permissive parenting and permission-based care
 – How nervous system regulation—not compliance—is the foundation of effective ADHD support
 – What “letting go” actually looks like without sacrificing boundaries

This episode is part of the New Year, Less Chaos campaign—a series designed to help ADHD families reduce overwhelm, lower stress, and build rhythms that actually work in real life.

If you’re parenting a child with ADHD and feel exhausted by advice that sounds good but collapses under pressure, this conversation will feel like a deep exhale. 🎧

Connect with Dana 👉 Second Arrow Coaching 

This Month's Sponsors:

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Hallowell Todaro ADHD & Behavioral Health Center 

A strength-based practice co-founded by Dr. Edward Hallowell that actually gets ADHD. They offer evaluations, therapy, coaching, medication management, and parent support that focuses on what’s strong about your kid, not just what’s hard.  

✨ Social Thinking 

Social learning that helps kids, teens, and adults understand the why behind social behavior, not just memorize a checklist of “correct” moves. Their tools, curricula, and resources teach social cognition, perspective-taking, flexible thinking, and real-world problem-solving.

📱 Talkspace 

Therapy that fits real life. With Talkspace, you can message or chat with a licensed therapist right from your phone, no face-to-face required. Perfect if you’re shy, anxious, overwhelmed, or just communicate better in writing. 

🎒 Miacademy 

An online learning platform that makes school feel less like a daily power struggle. With engaging videos, games, quizzes, and built-in rewards, Miacademy helps K-8 kids stay motivated while giving parents tools to track progress without hovering. 

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves!

If your ADHD household completely unraveled after the holidays, school breaks, or time off, this episode is for you.

In this kickoff episode of the New Year, Less Chaos series, ADHD educator and parent coach Peggy Gomula joins Chaos & Caffeine to break down why ADHD routines fall apart after breaks and how parents can reset without punishment, power struggles, or burnout.

Peggy’s approach to ADHD parenting is refreshingly different. Instead of focusing on compliance and correction, she teaches families how to lead with connection over correction, understand how ADHD brains actually work, and rebuild routines in a way that sticks — not just in January, but all year long.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why transitions and breaks are especially hard for ADHD kids
• How to reset routines after holidays, school breaks, and chaotic weeks
• What “connection over correction” actually looks like in real life
• Practical, ADHD-friendly strategies that work beyond the New Year

These strategies aren’t about perfection. They’re about understanding, flexibility, and creating systems that support ADHD brains even when life interrupts your routines (because it always does).

If you’re an ADHD parent looking for realistic tools, science-backed insight, and zero shame, this episode will help you start your year — or your reset — with more confidence and less chaos. 🎧 

This Month's Sponsors:

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Hallowell Todaro ADHD & Behavioral Health Center 

A strength-based practice co-founded by Dr. Edward Hallowell that actually gets ADHD. They offer evaluations, therapy, coaching, medication management, and parent support that focuses on what’s strong about your kid, not just what’s hard.  If you’re done with shame-based care and ready for science-backed, human-first support for neurodivergent families, head to hallowelltodaro.com. Because ADHD doesn’t need fixing, it needs understanding and the right tools.

✨ Social Thinking 

Social learning that helps kids, teens, and adults understand the why behind social behavior, not just memorize a checklist of “correct” moves. Their tools, curricula, and resources teach social cognition, perspective-taking, flexible thinking, and real-world problem-solving, so your neurodivergent kiddo can navigate friendships, conversations, and social stress with more awareness and less guessing. If you want practical frameworks and language to help your child think socially (not just act like they’re supposed to), check out socialthinking.com.

📱 Talkspace 

Therapy that fits real life. With Talkspace, you can message or chat with a licensed therapist right from your phone, no face-to-face required. Perfect if you’re shy, anxious, overwhelmed, or just communicate better in writing. No waiting rooms. No pressure to perform. Just support that meets you where you are. Visit talkspace.com to start therapy on your terms, because help shouldn’t feel harder than the problem.

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

What if the secret to less chaos in 2026 isn’t another planner, routine, reward chart, or parenting hack — but a fundamental shift you may not be ready to hear?

In this episode of Chaos & Caffeine, Danielle sits down with Dr. Michael W. Elice, MD, a board-certified pediatrician and internationally recognized expert in complex neurodevelopmental conditions, to unpack the one change that could radically reduce chaos in your home — and fair warning: you’re either going to love it… or absolutely hate it.

Dr. Elice brings decades of experience working with children and families navigating ADHD, autism, immune dysfunction, PANDAS, metabolic and mitochondrial disorders, and the messy gray areas that don’t fit neatly into a diagnosis. He’s taught at NYU Medical School and Albert Einstein College of Medicine, lectured globally through MAPS and the Autism Research Institute, and contributed to cutting-edge research and clinical education in pediatric neurodevelopment.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• Why chaos persists even when parents “do everything right”
• The biggest mindset mistake neurodivergent families are taught to believe
• What actually reduces overwhelm — for kids and parents
• Why this change feels uncomfortable (and why that matters)
• How to approach 2026 with less reactivity and more regulation

This episode is part of our New Year, Less Chaos series — created for parents who are done chasing perfection and ready for something that actually works.

🎧 Listen now — and don’t be surprised if this episode sticks with you long after it ends.

Connect with Dr Elice 👉 Aim Integrative Medicine 

This Month’s Sponsors:

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Hallowell Todaro ADHD & Behavioral Health Center 

A strength-based practice co-founded by Dr. Edward Hallowell that actually gets ADHD. They offer evaluations, therapy, coaching, medication management, and parent support that focuses on what’s strong about your kid, not just what’s hard.  If you’re done with shame-based care and ready for science-backed, human-first support for neurodivergent families, head to hallowelltodaro.com. Because ADHD doesn’t need fixing — it needs understanding and the right tools.

✨ Social Thinking 

A strength-based approach to social learning that helps kids, teens, and adults understand the why behind social behavior, not just memorize a checklist of “correct” moves. Their tools, curricula, and resources teach social cognition, perspective-taking, flexible thinking, and real-world problem-solving — so your neurodivergent kiddo can navigate friendships, conversations, and social stress with more awareness and less guessing. If you want practical frameworks and language to help your child think socially (not just act like they’re supposed to), check out socialthinking.com.

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves!

If Christmas break has turned into nonstop power struggles, emotional blowups, and you wondering how did we get here before noon, this episode is your reset.

In this powerful replay, I’m joined by Dr. Nerissa Bauer, MD, a board-certified pediatrician and ADHD expert, to talk about one of the most game-changing shifts in ADHD parenting: connection before correction.

Because when routines disappear, screens increase, and everyone’s nervous system is fried, traditional discipline strategies stop working — especially for ADHD kids. Dr. Bauer explains why our neurodivergent kids struggle most during unstructured time and how parents can respond in ways that actually calm the brain instead of escalating the chaos.

This episode is packed with science-backed, compassionate tools for parents who are exhausted from correcting behaviors and ready to reconnect with their kids — without permissiveness, guilt, or losing authority.

This is not about being a perfect parent. It’s about understanding the ADHD brain, regulating yourself first, and building the kind of relationship that actually leads to cooperation — especially when everyone is running on sugar, no sleep, and vibes.

If you’re parenting an ADHD child and feel stuck in a cycle of correcting, lecturing, and yelling — this episode will remind you that connection isn’t the soft option. It’s the most effective one.

Connect with Dr Bauer 👉 Let's Talk Kids Health

This Month’s Sponsors:

🧮 Pop Sugar Cafe 

The printable shop saving ADHD parents everywhere from pure morning meltdown chaos. Their visual schedules, routine charts, and emotion trackers are actually cute and neurodivergent-friendly. 

🎁 Play Therapy Supply

Because sometimes the best gifts aren’t found in the toy aisle. Play Therapy Supply curates sensory-friendly tools, fidgets, and therapeutic toys that actually help kids calm their bodies and connect with their feelings.

🪑 Ted Kangaroo

A line of science-backed sensory furniture and tools designed for kids who feel everything — loudly, quickly, and all at once. Ted Kangaroo’s patented chairs, vests, and rockers give your child a safe, calming, multi-sensory space to refocus, self-soothe, and regulate their emotions. 

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

If your family feels like a beautifully chaotic ADHD ecosystem — grandparents, parents, kids, everyone with big feelings and lost keys — this episode is going to hit home in the best, most validating way.

In this must-listen replay, I sit down with Jami Goldfarb Shapiro, ADHD expert, coach, and author of the brand-new book This Explains So Much: Understanding Undiagnosed ADHD for People Who Have Too Much, Feel Too Much, or Have Been Told They Are Too Much.

Together, we dive into what ADHD looks like across generations, why so many adults were missed or misunderstood growing up, and how those undiagnosed patterns shape parenting, communication, emotional triggers, and family dynamics today. This conversation is funny, real, and wildly eye-opening — especially if you're spending the holidays surrounded by multiple generations of neurodivergent energy under one roof.

We talk about:

• The signs of ADHD in parents and grandparents who were never diagnosed
• How undiagnosed ADHD impacts family relationships, communication, and conflict
• The emotional inheritance ADHD families carry (and how to break the cycle)
• Why understanding your own ADHD helps you parent differently
• How to build connection and compassion across the ADHD family tree

Whether you're navigating holiday chaos, reflecting on your own late diagnosis, or raising ADHD kids while healing your own childhood, this episode will feel like a warm, “ohhhh THAT makes sense now” hug for your brain.

Grab a cozy drink, hide in the laundry room if you must, and let’s unpack the generational ADHD story no one ever told you — until now.

Connect with Jami 👉 Grandma has ADHD

This Month’s Sponsors:

🧮 Pop Sugar Cafe 

The printable shop saving ADHD parents everywhere from pure morning meltdown chaos. Their visual schedules, routine charts, and emotion trackers are actually cute and neurodivergent-friendly. 

🎁 Play Therapy Supply

Because sometimes the best gifts aren’t found in the toy aisle. Play Therapy Supply curates sensory-friendly tools, fidgets, and therapeutic toys that actually help kids calm their bodies and connect with their feelings.

🪑 Ted Kangaroo

A line of science-backed sensory furniture and tools designed for kids who feel everything — loudly, quickly, and all at once. Ted Kangaroo’s patented chairs, vests, and rockers give your child a safe, calming, multi-sensory space to refocus, self-soothe, and regulate their emotions. 

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

In today’s powerful episode of Chaos & Caffeine, Danielle sits down with Daryl Potter, author of Even the Monsters, to dive into the brutal, beautiful truth of raising a neurodivergent child while navigating grief, loss, depression, and the identity-shifting spiritual journey that comes with it.

This is not your typical ADHD parenting episode — it’s honest, unfiltered, and deeply validating.
 Daryl opens up about the emotional weight parents carry, the moments no one prepares you for, and the raw reality of loving a neurodivergent child through heartbreak, hope, and healing.

If you’ve ever felt alone, overwhelmed, misunderstood, or scared you’re “not doing enough,” this conversation will feel like someone finally turned on a light in the dark.

Whether you’re parenting an ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent child — or you’re navigating your own mental health while trying to show up for your family — this episode holds space for you.

Listen in for:

• The grief and identity shifts neurodivergent parents never talk about
• How spiritual growth and parenting collide (and sometimes explode)
• What Daryl learned raising his neurodivergent child
• A reminder that you are not alone in the hard parts
• Hope, healing, and honesty without toxic positivity

If this episode resonates, share it with another parent who needs to feel seen today.

Connect with Daryl 👉 Daryl Potter

This Month’s Sponsors:

🧮 Pop Sugar Cafe 

The printable shop saving ADHD parents everywhere from pure morning meltdown chaos. Their visual schedules, routine charts, and emotion trackers are actually cute and neurodivergent-friendly. 

🪑 Ted Kangaroo

A line of science-backed sensory furniture and tools designed for kids who feel everything — loudly, quickly, and all at once. Ted Kangaroo’s patented chairs, vests, and rockers give your child a safe, calming, multi-sensory space to refocus, self-soothe, and regulate their emotions. 

🎁 Play Therapy Supply

Because sometimes the best gifts aren’t found in the toy aisle. Play Therapy Supply curates sensory-friendly tools, fidgets, and therapeutic toys that actually help kids calm their bodies and connect with their feelings.

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

If you’re raising a neurodivergent child and traditional parenting advice makes you want to scream into a throw pillow, this episode is your new safe place. Today, I’m joined by Dayna Abraham — bestselling author, founder of Lemon Lime Adventures, creator of the Calm the Chaos framework, and the internet’s favorite “I’ve-been-there” ADHD mom who turned family chaos into a science-backed system for connection and behavior support.

We dig into what actually works for ADHD, sensory, and emotionally intense kids — the kind of strategies parents Google at midnight because nothing else is cutting it. Dayna breaks down her signature approach, shares raw stories from parenting her three neurodivergent kids, and gives you practical, real-world tools you can use TODAY to reduce meltdowns, improve emotional regulation, and feel less alone in the hardest moments.

If you want compassionate, realistic ADHD parenting support that doesn’t require perfection, color-coded binders, or pretending your kid is “easy,” this conversation is your lifeline.

Listen in and discover:

• The truth about ADHD and “big behavior” kids
• Why typical discipline fails neurodivergent kids
• Dayna’s 5-step Calm the Chaos framework (and how to use it fast)
• The small changes that completely shift home dynamics
• How to build connection when your kid’s emotions are on fire
• What parents can do right now to feel more confident and in control

This episode is raw, practical, and full of tools you’ll want to replay again and again.

Connect with Dayna 👉 Calm the Chaos

This Month’s Sponsors:

💊 NeuroNeeds

A science-backed supplement line created by Dr. Richard Boles, a geneticist and ADHD dad who walked this exact road. These all-natural formulas were developed to support focus, mood, and brain health—and they helped his own son transition off stimulants and thrive in college. 

🧮 Pop Sugar Cafe 

The printable shop saving ADHD parents everywhere from pure morning meltdown chaos. Their visual schedules, routine charts, and emotion trackers are actually cute and neurodivergent-friendly. 

🪑 Ted Kangaroo

A line of science-backed sensory furniture and tools designed for kids who feel everything — loudly, quickly, and all at once. Ted Kangaroo’s patented chairs, vests, and rockers give your child a safe, calming, multi-sensory space to refocus, self-soothe, and regulate their emotions. 

🎁 Play Therapy Supply

Because sometimes the best gifts aren’t found in the toy aisle. Play Therapy Supply curates sensory-friendly tools, fidgets, and therapeutic toys that actually help kids calm their bodies and connect with their feelings.

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

I sit down with education pro Kate Panfile — certified Learning Disabilities Teacher Consultant (LDT-C), academic coach and IEP translator extraordinaire — and we cut through the noise about parenting a neurodivergent kid in a school system that wasn’t built for them.

If your child is navigating ADHD, reading struggles, executive function challenges or the dreaded IEP meeting, you’re about to get the real talk you didn’t know you needed. Kate shares the inside scoop on how to decode learning disabilities, partner with schools without losing your sanity, and set up your kid for success (yes, real success) instead of just survival. We get down to the messy, raw truth — no cookie-cutter formulas, no blame game, just actionable strategies you can use tonight to start shifting the trajectory for your child and your family.

Tune in for:

• How to advocate effectively at school so you don’t get bulldozed
• Concrete routines and supports that honor your kid’s brain instead of fighting it
• Why you need to care for your nervous system if you’re gonna stay in this fight

Grab your coffee (or pour the second mug) and lean in — this one’s for the parents who refuse to let the system win.

Connect with Kate 👉 Katepanfile.com or Take the Quiz

This Month’s Sponsors:

💊 NeuroNeeds

A science-backed supplement line created by Dr. Richard Boles, a geneticist and ADHD dad who walked this exact road. These all-natural formulas were developed to support focus, mood, and brain health—and they helped his own son transition off stimulants and thrive in college. 

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Social Thinking® 

A powerhouse in neurodivergent-friendly social-emotional learning. Their evidence-based methodology gives parents, educators, and therapists tools to help kids (and adults) understand why we think socially — not just how to act. 

🧮 Pop Sugar Cafe 

The printable shop saving ADHD parents everywhere from pure morning meltdown chaos. Their visual schedules, routine charts, and emotion trackers are actually cute and neurodivergent-friendly. 

🪑 Ted Kangaroo

A line of science-backed sensory furniture and tools designed for kids who feel everything — loudly, quickly, and all at once. Ted Kangaroo’s patented chairs, vests, and rockers give your child a safe, calming, multi-sensory space to refocus, self-soothe, and regulate their emotions. 

🎁 Play Therapy Supply

Because sometimes the best gifts aren’t found in the toy aisle. Play Therapy Supply curates sensory-friendly tools, fidgets, and therapeutic toys that actually help kids calm their bodies and connect with their feelings.

👩🏼‍⚕️ Dr. Lorian Phillips 

Dr. Phillips helps families ditch the chaos and build calm through emotional regulation and practical tools that actually work in real life (you know, the life with homework battles, missing shoes, and bedtime meltdowns). 

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show

👉 Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

Anxiety and ADHD go together like coffee and chaos — they just show up together. In this raw, relatable episode of Chaos & Caffeine, host Danielle Kelly sits down with psychologist Dr. Laura Van Schaick-Harman, founder of Meaningful Psychological Services, to unpack the tangled mess of ADHD + anxiety in kids.

Dr. Laura brings her deep experience as a school psychologist, CBT and mindfulness expert, and board-certified telemental health provider to share practical, science-backed strategies parents can actually use—not just print out and forget on the fridge.

We dig into:
 ☕ How to tell if your child’s meltdowns are ADHD, anxiety, or both
 ☕ Why bedtime is often the trigger for spirals (and what CBT-I can do about it)
 ☕ Real-life ways to teach kids the difference between “real danger” and “brain drama”
 ☕ What “consistency” actually looks like when executive function is in the toilet
 ☕ Affordable, do-at-home mental health support when therapy isn’t an option

If you’re an ADHD parent trying to stop the 3 a.m. worry spiral, this episode is your new comfort listen.

🎧 Tune in, take a deep breath, and remember — you’re not failing, you’re parenting with a wiring manual nobody gave you.

Connect with Dr. Laura 👉 www.meaningfulpsychservices.com

This Month’s Sponsors:

💊 NeuroNeeds

A science-backed supplement line created by Dr. Richard Boles, a geneticist and ADHD dad who walked this exact road. These all-natural formulas were developed to support focus, mood, and brain health—and they helped his own son transition off stimulants and thrive in college. So if you’ve ever wished you had a scientist in your back pocket, this is it. 

🧮 Pop Sugar Cafe 

The printable shop saving ADHD parents everywhere from pure morning meltdown chaos. Their visual schedules, routine charts, and emotion trackers are actually cute and neurodivergent-friendly. Head to Pop Sugar Cafe and grab the tools your kid will actually use — because structure shouldn’t suck. 

🪑 Ted Kangaroo

A line of science-backed sensory furniture and tools designed for kids who feel everything — loudly, quickly, and all at once. Ted Kangaroo’s patented chairs, vests, and rockers give your child a safe, calming, multi-sensory space to refocus, self-soothe, and regulate their emotions. 

🎁 Play Therapy Supply

Because sometimes the best gifts aren’t found in the toy aisle. Play Therapy Supply curates sensory-friendly tools, fidgets, and therapeutic toys that actually help kids calm their bodies and connect with their feelings.

👩🏼‍⚕️ Dr. Lorian Phillips 

Dr. Phillips helps families ditch the chaos and build calm through emotional regulation and practical tools that actually work in real life (you know, the life with homework battles, missing shoes, and bedtime meltdowns). Learn more about her ADHD Parenting Course and how she helps families thrive!

Resources:

Join Our Newsletter and Find All of Our Faves! 

📧 Have questions or ideas for future episodes? Email us at [email protected].

Support the show