Chapped

Put me on this fuckin' show.  We see more gang affiliation and disappointed judges this week as, once again, the talent leaves a lot of meat on the bone (if you know what I mean).  That said, if you're a fan of the candy accouterment, this might just be the app ep for you. 

Talking points:

Gang colors

Desert of the side

The judges lack of poker faces

*****AUDIO QUALITY ALERT - THIS EPISODE SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS RECORDED ON A COMPUTER SPEAKER...IT WASN'T.....just goes to show you that at least when it comes to microphone placement, inches matter*********

Sometimes, we are serious.  I thought this was one of those times until I listened back to the ep.  There are an unprecedented 3 songs broken into and we have an unprecedented 4 fuckin' garbage bags as contestants.  Luckily, guest judge Neil Patrick Harris does not fail to deliver with pro-level shade.  This episode is dedicated to my listeners.  You folks are my motivation and I will keep the content coming weekly in your honor.

Talking points:

Full cubes.

No talent.

Very well made suites.  

What else would you expect from a rare two day long morning hour, multi-track, multi-take recording but absolute bullshit from our contestants.  Get ready for your stomach to literally churn alongside mine.  Learn about The Wizard and get that mayonnaise the way you really wanted it.  It's Chapped!

What else would you expect from a 5 month break but a brooding tangent on dark animation magic for a pastry, a special guest in the final judgement, and an egregious error when selecting the programing straight from the get go.  Guess who's back?  Shady's back.

Everyone needs a friend in these "uncertain times."  Have you ever considered an edible, corn-meal based buddy?  Find out if your answer is yes in this seafood spectacular where the East Coast accent attempts are, dare we say, numerous.

Update: This is the end of the latency issue episodes.  We know this because they are recorded up to a month in advance.

In this episode, we see the most anti-climatic end of the $50K Tournament of Chopped Champions.  We have a life sized DMX, disgusting appetizer basket ingredients, and the most rapid hand motions we've ever seen.

What cruel fate befalls our host.  Just as a former employer comes forth as a subscriber, an unknown latency issue renders this episode borderline un-listenable.  For the brave - a deep dive into Geodude lore and a special musical treat in the final moments of this treasure trove of comedy prompts.  

What cruel fate brings a show I cooked up to quell my solitude, but a couples themed episode with the biggest spoiler yet: ICGZ is married to a woman.  Listen as respected judges desecrate high quality pork and I make a crucial naming error.  

Perhaps the greatest portmanteau ever created - or at least as good as I'll ever accidentally conjure into existence.  Cheesy puns flow like melted cheese this cheese themed episode, which is to say, not quickly.  Let's dig in.

Possibly the only time I should have allowed myself to up the volume just enough to understand how the heck these contestants' names are pronounced.  Guess we'll never know.  There's no way of knowing.  One thing we do know, it's a Cake Battle, so you know it's going to be slow going.