Caregivers community when everyone’s snowed in:

❄️❤️ SNOWED-IN CAREGIVERS THREAD ❤️❄️

Hey beautiful caregiver family,

If you’re currently trapped inside by snow, ice, or a winter storm — welcome to the club! Whether your care recipient is napping more because of the weather, you’re stuck doing 10th load of laundry just to stay busy, or you’re staring out the window wondering how you’re going to get to that appointment… this is your safe space today.

Drop in and tell us:

🏠 How are you and your loved one holding up?

☕ What’s getting you through the day (coffee count, anyone?)

😂 Funniest caregiving-meets-snow moment so far

🆘 Or just vent — we’ve all been there

No judgment, no “you should have prepared better,” just real talk from people who get it. We’re all in this blizzard together (literally and figuratively).

Tag a caregiver friend who might be snowed in and lonely today. Let’s keep each other company until the plows come!

You’ve got this. We’ve got you.

As caregivers, we pour our hearts into supporting others, often neglecting our own well-being. I've discovered that joining chat rooms for caregivers has become a vital part of my self-care routine, and I'm not alone. Here's how I—and others—use a chat room to care for ourselves as we care for others. Taking care of my parents as a long-distance caregiv…

Just hopped off the plane and took the shuttle to long-term parking. I was excited about being back and wanted to see Mom & Dad as I had promised I would as soon as I got off the plane. I had gone home for three days to see my husband who is 720 miles away.  This is the longest I have been away from my parents since starting this new role and purpose in life after retirement. After stepping off the plane, I had plans to stop by and say hey to Mom & Dad before I went to the house. They go to the racetrack (horse races) every Sunday for simulcast racing. Live racing begins in December-May. I messaged my brother to let him know I was "home" as soon as the plane touched ground. He immediately replied, "Call me."  Said it twice. I was driving and couldn't respond so I allowed Siri to speak for me. We connected and he asked if I heard anything from Mom and Dad. No, and he let me know that Dad had diarrhea (because of a new over the counter pill he decided to take) and Mom had fallen. He wanted me to know before Mom told me or in case Dad decided to keep it from me. When I arrived at the racetrack, I escorted Mom to  the bathroom and we talked. She was eager to tell me what happened. Evidently she fell in the bathroom because she turned too fast. It was insightful that Mom was aware of the cause. My brother called the paramedics (I hope he used the med-alert button). They came and picked her up. Mom said nothing was hurting and that she was okay. As the story unfolded from Dad, he wanted to take an over-the-counter med to help with his prostate. Not quite sure what he needs it for, but I'm sure I will be enlightened soon. He blames that pill for the diarrhea he had in the middle of  the night. It was messy and the carpet needs to be washed, which the cleaning crew will be happy to do tomorrow. I was so relaxed when I arrived and now this! After sitting with the parents  and hearing the news, I went home because our handyman/cleaning crew decided to put the diverter (faucet) in the tub today instead of tomorrow.  The diverter has been replaced and I'm finally alone in the house. Peace and quiet for much needed time to regulate my emotions and regain my emotional strength so that I can deal with the challenges of caregiving and bounce back from them.

Whenever you feel weak, remember what made you strong. These feelings of weakness, depression, and helplessness overpowered me from time to time, and it happens too often for caregivers. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Caregiving is a difficult road to travel. There is no substitute for experience, but as you know, there are few opportunities to attend a class on caregiving. Caregiver Stress: In my experience, Stress is the number 1 trigger for depression and helplessness. Emotional flatlining occurred after Dad fractured his hip. Guilt crept in because I thought it was my fault. I moved the chair he usually leaned on. He entered the den, stepped down, and, holding his popcorn bowl, reached for the chair with his other hand. Caring for both parents became a challenge. Mom used a walker, and I needed to get to the hospital. Mom had no stamina to follow me as I performed my additional responsibilities. Reconciliation of this dilemma was twofold. First, I received guidance from the social services at the rehab center, and second, I was able to hire someone to care for Mom regularly, at least four hours a day. Help from an agency was an out-of-pocket expense, but it relieved me of some stress. I became their advocate. Wanting the best outcome for both parents was always a priority, but making the right decisions can be challenging. I also prioritized open communication with their doctors, caregivers, friends, and family. I listened intently to the director of human resources, who had reached out to me and asked what I needed. They also suggested what needed to be done to make the house safer for my parents. I had to research, make decisions, and keep asking questions. Eventually, my emotional health improved when I realized I was doing a good job and gaining strength of character. I began to journal, and humor became my friend. My husband’s wit and humor sustained me. We have a fellow caregiver who can ease the tension with humor. We sometimes lose our sense of humor as caregiving takes its emotional toll. Planning for the future and preparing for the unexpected: I will address the need for advanced care planning, including discussions about my parent’s wishes, financial and legal considerations, and the importance of a support network. As friends and family came to visit, I sought advice from my mother’s best friend’s son. He could keep the house after his parents passed, explained the cost and estate planning he experienced, and passed along some advice, which started me on a path in the right direction for my parents’ immediate financial and legal needs. I followed his advice and found an elder law attorney through the attorney to whom he referred me to start the process. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities with Personal Life: As a long-distance caregiver, I face the challenges of balancing caregiving duties with my personal life and self-care. I left my house, husband, and dogs on the back burner while caring for my parents. I could fly back and forth at least twice a month with some help from my siblings, who watched Mom and Dad while I sought respite for a few days. I lived in another state and was 720 miles away from home, caring for my parents. Going home for a hug increased my emotional well-being, and when I walked in the door, our pups enthusiastically greeted me. Navigating Emotional Challenges and Finding Support: The emotional toll of caregiving and the importance of seeking support from friends, family, support groups, or mental health professionals became more of a focus in my effort to maintain a self-care routine. Some tips I learned to manage my feelings of guilt, grief, and loss would come after my caregiving journey. Self-reflection and time alone allowed me to reach a calm within each moment of chaos. Life after caregiving is a new chapter I am now experiencing. Contact us in our chat room if you feel emotionally drained, confused, or need a friend on this journey. We are caregivers who have experienced every aspect of caregiving and are ready to listen, share, laugh, and experience a friendship of shared experiences. The emotional toll of caregiving can be overwhelming, but don’t worry; laughter is the best medicine! Whenever I felt stressed, I would watch a funny movie or call a friend who always had a joke ready. It’s essential to find moments of joy and humor amidst the chaos of caregiving. So, if you’re feeling down, remember to keep your sense of humor close by and reach out to us for some friendly support and a good laugh!

Today is a result of all my yesterdays which have shaped who I am at the moment. My recent past has helped me face the future with clarity. When you lose someone you love, you can’t escape the immediate past. And the long-range vision of yesterday, becomes clearer.

I took care of my parents for four years and they recently passed away within 3 months of each other. Grief certainly affects your present. So yes, recently I dwelled on the past remembering those moments of love and embracing the memories. It took a year, and i am now looking to a brighter future.

I have spent some time dwelling on the past, particularly the memories of Mom and Dad who have passed, but I have now shifted my focus towards a brighter future.

“So to answer the question, I would say that I spend some time reflecting on the past, but I’m more excited about what lies ahead. I believe that the experiences we’ve had and the memories we carry with us shape who we are, but ultimately, it’s up to us to create our own future.”

Chat For Caregivers

How can you support a caregiver you know? It's more challenging than you think because you will offer a part of yourself. Many caregivers, including me, don't ask for help. It's only when someone, a friend or relative, sees me so concerned I can't concentrate on what I am doing.

Case in point: I gave the wrong pills to my parents, and luckily, I caught it before Dad took Mom's. Dad's medication wasn't going to harm Mom, but one pill in Mom's pill cup would have sent Dad into a tailspin. Then, I shared this with a friend and my cousin. No help was offered, and I didn't ask for any. I was venting and feeling very poorly.

I did receive a respite when my brother came to town and took over the duties. I was at the hospital with Dad, and of course, Mom was with me. I felt like I did when I had an appointment and couldn't take the children. Mom had to sit outside the room when I went in because he was only allowed one person at a time the first day. My brother instructed me to fly home as scheduled, and he would take over. His wife stays with Mom, and he devotes his time to Dad.

My family was my support. As a long-distance caregiver all my friends had moved away.

In our chat room, a caregiver taking care of her husband had come across an article about supporting caregivers, and she said, "Finally, someone gets it." The article was called 5 Ways to Support a Caregiver in Your Life. It mentions that knowing someone who is a caregiver can help a person notice how challenging it can be.

* Be a good listener

* Take on some of the tasks

* Give them a break

* Research and share information

* Stay in touch often

There are more, but these stood out to us. In our chat room, we support each other, and although we can't physically do #2 or #3, we offer the advice of taking one hour a day and joining our chat for the break. Caregivers have to set aside some ME time, and if you find it difficult, as I did, set a goal for once or twice a week as a start. I couldn't join. The hour-long chat started. Mom went to bed, and I helped her get ready for bed, and we also went through our nightly ritual. The morning chat was more accessible three days out of the week because they ate breakfast during the chat. I could sit nearby and join the chat on my phone. Please read the article here: https://tinyurl.com/3axdafhj

It's essential to ensure that our seniors have access to nutritious meals, but knowing where to start can be challenging. Home-delivered meals can be an excellent option for seniors living alone with the help of social services such as senior home care.

Mom's friend lived alone but had home care. She was in her 90s and the same age as Dad. She did her own "cooking" and had toast and coffee every morning. We were concerned about her meals and suggested to her granddaughter, who lived 500 miles away, how she could benefit from a healthy meal from Senior Nutrition. I found the program by accident while driving to the local grocery store. A van was next to me at a stop light. It had a phone number and Senior Nutrition labeled on it. I contacted them, and my parents are eligible for the program. 

I found the program by accident while driving to the local grocery store. A van was next to me at a stop light. It had a phone number and Senior Nutrition labeled on it. I contacted them, and my parents are eligible for the program. 

Mom and Dad had me to care for them, but their friend didn't have family around to care for her daily. Her granddaughter would visit once a week, driving in from a nearby town 30 minutes away. She spent the day with her and drove her to the hairdresser to run errands and the grocery store. Her son would provide home-cooked meals for her, which she could keep in the freezer. He and his family would drive 120 miles and visit her once a week, usually on the weekend. After the first year I was there caring for Mom and Dad, things slowly began to change. As they aged, their needs became more significant. 

I am a long-distance caregiver. In my state, this program is available. Each state has its own programs, and they vary by county. Your AAA in your state will guide you. Most seniors, if not all, will qualify for a program through their healthcare provider, Medicare Part B.

An agency sent someone four days out of the week after Mom's friend was hospitalized and returned home. She was eligible for home care. Someone cleaned once a week and also completed light housekeeping duties. The nurse usually came on Mondays and Fridays. She filled the pill organizer, took her vitals, assessed her overall health, and sat with her, engaging her in conversation. The nurse's aide came once a week to bathe her. Mom and I would visit her often, and Dad tagged along, too. They had been friends for 30 years or more. These were tasks I was doing for Mom and Dad daily. My parents were fortunate to have me, and I was blessed to care for them. 

Sure, many resources are available for caregivers, depending on the specific needs of the person you're caring for and your needs. Here are a few resources you might find helpful:

To learn more about these services and how to access them, contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA). Once you connect with them, you'll find more support for the family caregiver, making the process much easier for everyone involved. Take a moment to locate your local AAA and discover how they can help you provide the best care and nutrition for your senior loved ones. 

Dad fractured his hip; it was more challenging to care for both parents. Resources became available for them, and social services at the hospital (through their insurance) provided some. Here are some resources for the elderly with their name and descriptions

:

AARP Caregiving Resource Center Provides information and resources on various caregiving topics, including legal and financial issues, long-term care options, and caregiver wellness.

Caregiver Action Network Offers resources on caregiving topics such as managing medications, in-home care, and financial and legal planning. 

National Alliance for Caregiving Conducts research and advocacy on caregiving issues and provides resources and support for caregivers.

Family Caregiver Alliance Offers information and resources on caregiving, including fact sheets, online support groups, and a caregiving helpline. 

Alzheimer's Association Provides support, education, and resources for caregivers of people with Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia.

Contact local organizations, support groups, and healthcare professionals for additional resources and support.

In closing, a good start is entering the terms area agency on aging in a web search. To narrow your search, enter your state. I found this very helpful and searched for elder law to find out how to start estate planning for my parents. As you begin your caregiving journey, you will have many questions and will need additional support as you travel down the caregiving road. Reach out to our caregiver support group at chatforcaregivers.com and join our chatroom. We are caregivers on the journey caring for loved ones and meet daily for friendship, resources, advice, and to discuss mundane things. We chat about our caregiving experiences and find that we have so much in common. We have caregivers in different regions of the United States. We all make it a point to meet nightly from 6:00 pm PST to 9:00 pm EST and keep the chat open for an hour in the morning.