Chat In The Commons

A chat about our trip to FiLiA, the largest grassroots feminist conference in Europe. 

Celebrating their tenth anniversary, FiLiA 2025 was held in Brighton, UK and hosted 300 speakers from 75 countries and nearly 3,000 attendants - and Elle was there to soak it all up. 

In this episode Elle shares the inside scoop about what she saw and heard - the good, the bad and the ugly. From the powerful panel discussions (see list below), to women’s newfound global connectivity and solidarity, to frictions between feminists of different cultures, getting a 360º view of women’s oppression, and how we stay ahead of the patriarchal onslaught.

WE DISCUSS:

(00:00:00) Introduction 

(00:01:36) Background on FiLiA Conference

(00:04:49) Elle travels to Brighton

(00:09:31) TERF Island

(00:11:41) Opening Ceremony & Brighton’s Suffragette History

(00:19:16) Feminism and Militarism Panel 

(00:27:18) Beyond the Misogynist Backlash Panel 

(00:33:01) Erasure of Women’s History Panel 

(00:35:56) Modern Matriarchy Panel

(00:38:12) Women and the State Panel 

(00:42:22) Surrogacy Panel 

(00:47:19) Femicide Panel 

(00:54:42) Drama at the Disco

(00:59:39) State Violence & Gender Ideology in Brazil 

(01:06:20) Importance of Women’s Gatherings

EPISODE LINKS

FiLiA

Mary Clarke Brighton’s Suffragette History

Esua Goldsmith

Max Dashu Interview | Subject to Power

Total Woman Victory

Minangkabau Matrilineal Community 

Right To Remain

Femicide Census

Counting Dead Women UK

MATRIA

CONTACT US

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A chat about boys and men. Natalie and Elle explore the current state of masculinity - male attitudes, behaviors and culture. And how do men perceive themselves and the challenges they face?

In this episode, we highlight both struggles and positive shifts, digging into men’s economic anxiety, loneliness, violence, and the growing manosphere, but also new models for raising boys and young men, and the work of creating healthier masculine narratives and supportive communities in order to redefine what it means to be a man. 

WE DISCUSS:

(00:00:00) Episode Overview

Introduction to the state of manhood and masculinity norms

(00:03:53) Equimundo’s State of American Men Research Report on American men, highlighting men’s own perspectives on masculinity

(00:05:02) Key issues overview: economic anxiety, restrictive masculinity, loneliness, and time online

(00:07:11) Exploration of men’s shifting provider role, economic pressures, and identity

(00:11:28) Masculinity becoming more restrictive 

(00:13:38) Male loneliness and emotional accountability discussion 

(00:16:15) Male Alexithymia and emotional expression 

(00:22:08) Manosphere narratives and online radicalization 

(00:24:04) Debunking the “Men Are Losing Out” myth 

(00:27:19) Overview of online manosphere groups

(00:35:13) Recognition of violence as a key issue for men, including self-directed violence

(00:40:32) Discussion of how violence is perpetuated and the importance of community for men

(00:52:11) Raising boys and young men

Discussion of matriarchal models, mother-son bonds, and raising feminist sons

(00:55:13) Early education and gender stereotypes 

Highlight of Icelandic preschool program combatting gender stereotypes

EPISODE LINKS

International Men’s Day 

Dads For Kids

State of American Men Study 2025 

Alexithymia | Katie Hanlon TikTok

The Other Parent | James Steyer

Male Fiction Authors | Tracy Sierra TikTok

Gen Z Men & Women’s Outlook | NBC News

Triad of Men’s Violence  

Jackson Katz | The Spectator 

Belonging vs Fitting In | Brenee Brown

The Lives of Boys with Michael Conway | Subject to Power

Disappointing Men | Solid 7 TikTok

Paid Leave For All

The Men’s Collective

ReMasculine 

Mankind Project

XY Online

How to Raise a Feminist Son | Sonora Jha

Why she wrote the book | Sonora Jha Instagram

Icelandic Hijalli Model

CONTACT 

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

A chat about babies and birthrates. In our final episode on the 4B movement, Natalie and Elle unpack the many reasons why women across the world are opting out of procreating. It is being proclaimed that the human birthrate is in free fall and that we are in a ‘plummeting population crisis’ - but is the birthrate panic warranted? We look at the environmental, economic, political,  evolutionary and social theories as to why the human boom may be slowing down. 

In this jam-packed episode, we also take a critical look at the contradictory messages women receive about our role as creators of new life, and discuss examples of ill-fated government interventions into women’s bodily autonomy - including China, Germany, Romania and the US. We try to wrap our minds around the pronatalism movement and the recent Trump Administration’s incentives for promoting motherhood, and present our own list of incentives that would actually be meaningful to women. We cover the boom-bust theory, evolutionary mate selection theories, DINKS and much more.

EPISODE LINKS

Martha Ahumuza | X

Dr. Jennifer Glass | Paula Ferris Show  

DINKS | Nordy on TikTok 

DINKS Social

The Elephant In The Womb | Grant Wyeth

Declining birth rate

Boom and Bust Cycle 

Climate Apocalypse | Instagram

Jen Unhinged Selective Gatekeepers | TikTok 

Jen Unhinged 4 Things  | TikTok

The Cost of Sexism by Linda Scott

Natal Conference  

CONTACT US

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A chat about mothers and family court. After years of researching and documenting women’s experiences in family court, Elle and Natalie share their observations and insights of what happens in this very hidden and secret world.  Through the lens of “what’s old is new,” we discover that while the tools have changed, the aim is the same - to punish women who dare to defy the patriarchal script for marriage and motherhood. What used to be the scold’s bridle, lobotomy, or being thrown in the psych ward - today looks more like gag orders, criminalization of mothers, forced impoverishment through vexatious litigation, and many other legal instruments that sabotage the mother-child relationship.

In this episode, we talk about how the system of family court is used by abusers to maintain their power and control, we talk about the misogyny that permeates the institution, and share the shock most women experience upon discovering the realities of these courts.  We highlight how this is not a court of law, but rather a court of discretion which has no oversight, transparency or accountability.  In Motherhood on Trial, we try to understand why this is happening and what we can do to disengage from, and fight, the damage being done to women through this multibillion dollar industry. 

EPISODE LINKS

Project 2025 - Fatherhood p.481

Grant Wyeth | Subject to Power

WeSpoke

Take Care of Maya

Mothers Lost | WeSpoke

Three Planets Model - Marianne Hester | What Doesn’t Kill Me

Joan Meier 2020 Study on Child Custody Outcomes

UN Special Rapporteur on VAW&G | Reem Alsalem

UN Report on Parental Alienation 

Family Court Power and Control Wheel

NY Senate Joint Public Hearing on Family Courts 2023

Wendy Murphy on the ERA | Phil in the Blanks

CONTACT US

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A continued chat about sex. In this episode we reveal the remaining results of our sex survey and chat about the risks women take when we have sex with men - from STDs to pregnancy to men’s sexual violence. We also cover contraception, revenge porn, candaulism, sexual coercion, sex strikes, the 4B movement in South Korea, and the shape that this movement is taking in the West.  

EPISODE LINKS

Male Contraception Pill | Dr. Harini Bhat

He Chose Porn Over Me | Melinda Tankard Reist

The Hellscape Files with Melinda Tankard Reist | Subject to Power

Practicing Celibacy | Tera Chantelle TikTok

Men Sharing Wive’s Naked Pictures | Psychology Today

Resistance Through No Sex

CONTACT US

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

A chat about sex. In this third episode of our series on the 4B movement, we explore the various reasons why many women are opting out of sexual relationships with men. Elle and Natalie share some of their own lived experiences, along with interesting new research, and a lot of giggles.

In Sexodus Part 1 we talk about the differences between female and male sexuality and sexual pleasure, the pornification of sex and dangerous sexual practices. We also discuss  what women actually want and need in bed.

EPISODE LINKS

South Korean Pink Map | The Guardian

6B4T Movement

Why Women Boycott Men | NPR Colin McEnroe Show

She Comes First | Ian Kerner

Come As You Are | Emily Nagoski

Sex At Dawn | Dr. Christopher Ryan 

Dr. Christopher Ryan | The Minimalists Podcast 

Masters and Johnson

Pornland | Gail Dines

Culture Reframed

Porn is a Battlefield with Gail Dines | Subject to Power

Collective Shout

He Chose Porn Over Me | Melinda Tankard Reist

The Hellscape Files with Melinda Tankard Reist | Subject to Power

Porn Speak | Whitt Marie TikTok

Strangulation Report 2024

DV Stroke Report 2022

Strangulation Institute Factsheet

CONTACT US 

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact

A chat with campers at an all-women’s summer camp.  In this special episode, we take you on a trip into the woods, where you’ll meet women from every walk of life and hear why they made the long journey into the wilderness to gather.  In the midst of what we perceive to be a profound cultural awakening, the women we met spoke from the heart about what is happening around them and the burning issues that are impacting their inner lives, their families, communities and the culture at large.

Our chats touch on the importance of female friendships, women’s sex-based rights, what we are teaching NextGen, the impacts of gender ideology on women, lesbian spaces, our relationships to men, pursuing freedom and safety, sexism, radical feminism and political organizing, fighting isolation and the healing properties of women’s gatherings. 

EPISODE LINKS

WoLF RadFem Summer Camp

Irreversible Damage | Abigail Shrier

MATRIA | Association of Women, Mothers & Workers of Brazil

LGB Alliance

The Galavan 

FIST - Feminists In Struggle

WDI - Women's Declaration International

CONTACT 

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

A chat about women and work. When talking about labor, we divide paid work from unpaid work, men’s work from women’s work, domestic labor from professional work, and work that is considered valuable versus work that is invisible. In a conversation that goes far beyond the pay gap, we examine what “work” means to women.

In this episode Elle and Natalie unpack the man-as-breadwinner myth, the working mother double bind, the varied reasons women exit the paid workforce, the mirage of the stay-at-home-mom life, and women’s true contributions to the world economy.

EPISODE LINKS

Teetads | Tik Tok

Cynthia Enloe Interview | Subject to Power

Globalization and Militarism | Cynthia Enloe

Gender Pay Gap | Pew Research

Why Women Leave Their Jobs | Forbes

Women in the Workplace Report | LeanIn

Willmar 8 | PBS

Willmar 8 | MN Historical Society

Penalty of Unpaid Work | UN Women

Maternity Leave | World Population Review

Working Moms work 2 ½ full time jobs | ABC7 NY

Paris Paloma Interview

Paris Paloma | The Late Show

CONTACT US

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

CREDITS

Hosted by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira

Produced by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira

Edited by Elle Kamihira

Audio Engineering by Jason Sheesley at Abridged Audio

Cover Art by Reda Tomingas

Music by Midnight Door

Theme Song by Moushumi

A chat about being single by choice. More and more women are opting out of not just marriage, but out of relationships with men altogether - and choosing new paths to economic independence, professional and personal fulfillment, and adventure - that does not include a man as part of the plan. Women are also connecting with each other across cultures and creating new, unconventional women’s communities at exponential rates - all while unsubscribing to patriarchal norms. 

In this hour we talk about the act of de-centering men, the liberation women experience when going solo, the explosion of women-only travel, the rise of mommunes, and the increasing demand for women’s communities.  

EPISODE LINKS

In Her Nature | Rachel Hewitt

Living by yourself | Anxiously Alej

Women Only Space | Briggygee 

Stop Waiting | Healwithmegs

Solo Travel | Wonder Tours

Solo Travel | Women in the Wild

Feminist City Guide | Unearth Woman

Being Single Backlash | I am Jannah Santana

Communal Living | CoAbode 

Communal Living | Commune

Mommune | NBC The Today Show

Dating Yourself | ChloBow

Not Looking for a Man | Rihanna

Golden Girl Gang Forum | Brigg

Co-Housing Houston

OWCH Women’s Community

Fempowerment App 

CONTACT US

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

CREDITS

Hosted by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira

Produced by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira

Edited by Elle Kamihira

Audio Engineering by Jason Sheesley at Abridged Audio

Cover art by Reda Tomingas

Theme song by Moushumi

Music by Midnight Door

A chat about dating. In part two of our series on the 4B movement, Elle and Natalie take a read on what is happening in dating culture, listening to a diverse cross-section of women to try to understand why a growing number of women are saying no to dating.

EPISODE LINKS

Influence of Sex and the City | Emily the Recruiter

Hook-Up Culture | Cunty Chanel

Transactional Dating | Pure Michigangster

Backlash to Women’s Standards | Shawnda

Being Bitter vs Being Aware | Professional Sassatron

Internet Boyfriend | Joshua Summerfield

Self-Love Journey | Caitlin Checker

Women Benefit Men | Fashionably Divorced

Burning the Haystack | Crazylocks918

Burned Haystack Method | Jennie Young

Rising Standards | Jennifer Moxley

Bumble Ad Campaign | Daily Mail

RESOURCES

Are We Dating the Same Guy? | App

Tea for Women | App

FROM THE COMMONS

FiLiA is the largest international women’s rights conference in the world. They know that building a global sisterhood is essential for the dismantling of patriarchy. Learn more and buy your tickets for the October 10-12, 2025 conference in England at:

https://www.filia.org.uk

CONTACT

Website:  www.chatinthecommons.com

Instagram: @chatinthecommons

X: @ChatInCommons

Email:  https://www.chatinthecommons.com/contact 

CREDITS

Hosted by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira

Produced by Natalie Blundell and Elle Kamihira

Edited by Elle Kamihira

Audio Engineering by Jason Sheesley at Abridged Audio

Cover Art by Reda Tomingas

Music by Moushumi