Chemstories – a podcast about PnP/chemsex (English-language edition)

In this second and last segment of the YHZ Maturity flight, Halifax host Andrew concludes his conversation with Harry and Hector, focusing on the intersection of aging, HIV, and chemsex.

The guests discuss how living with HIV has evolved, with U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) and PrEP fundamentally changing the landscape of sexual health and intimacy. However, they note a lingering disconnect in the party community, where discussions about status are often skipped entirely in favor of antiretrovirals and substance use. 

The trio also tackles the scarcity of support services in Atlantic Canada, contrasting it with the accessibility found in larger cities. They share personal strategies for maintaining balance, such as the importance of setting boundaries. 

The episode wraps up with a nuanced reflection on whether they would recommend chemsex to others, balancing the undeniable pleasure and connection it offers against the risks and consequences. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Halifax host Andrew introduces Harry and Hector, two older participants whose experiences challenge the typical narrative of youth and recklessness often associated with chemsex.

Hector, who began using drugs in his mid-50s after retiring, candidly discusses the unexpected slide from isolation to regular use. Harry, with a 20-year history of use, reflects on the "allure" of crystal meth—a "powerful drug" that heightened sexuality in a way no other substance could. 

The conversation explores the unique dynamics of the Halifax scene compared to larger metropolitan areas. They discuss the "stigma within substances", and the challenges of managing privacy in a smaller city where everyone knows your business.

The episode also touches on intergenerational dynamics, with both guests reflecting on the transactional nature of encounters with younger men, often navigating the blurred lines between genuine attraction and the expectation of being a provider. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

In this second chapter of the YHZ Resilience flight, Halifax host Andrew guides Steven and James through a raw discussion on the complex intersection of trauma, shame, and recovery.

James opens up about how a strict religious upbringing led him to repress childhood abuse, and later, how chemsex became a way to enact a self-fulfilling prophecy of being "reduced to just a sex object". Steven explains how relapsing can feel doubly shameful when paired with experiences of sexual assault that occur during use, making it easier to "sweep under the rug" rather than face judgment. 

The conversation shifts to the limitations of current support systems, critiquing traditional recovery models for their rigidity and lack of space to discuss sexual trauma openly. James describes finding solace in an Anonymous group initially but ultimately stepping away, finding more empowerment in personal accountability and therapy. Steven dreams of a recovery space specifically informed about chemsex. 

The episode concludes with a powerful reflection on self-compassion, advising listeners to replace shame with curiosity. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) 

Direction 180 : non-profit community-based opioid treatment program located in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Halifax host Andrew opens a challenging yet necessary conversation with guests Steven and James, focusing on the intersection of chemsex, consent, and sexual trauma.

Steven, five years into recovery, shares how early experiences of sexual abuse created a "gateway" not just to substance use, but to a pattern of seeking out sexual encounters as a way to regain a sense of control. He describes how substances became tools to facilitate intimacy yet ultimately led to reliving past traumas. James explains how substances lowered his inhibitions enough to express desires that were often self-destructive, rooted in a deep sense of unworthiness.

The discussion highlights specificities of the Halifax scene, where an interconnected community means that encounters aren't truly anonymous, leading to the reality of potentially encountering people with personal connections in vulnerable settings.  

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

In the inaugural episode of the YHZ Halifax flights, Investigator Olivier introduces local host Andrew, whose personal journey from daily chemsex use to becoming a key advocate in Nova Scotia shapes the conversation. He candidly addresses the "internalized homophobia" often found in more rural or industrial areas of the East Coast, which can drive chemsex further underground. He discusses a desire to reclaim the narrative around chemsex in smaller cities where privacy is scarce, and stigma runs high. 

Andrew highlights the unique challenges of the Halifax scene, and the lack of dedicated support services leaves many navigating their use in isolation. The episode delves into his efforts to fill these gaps, from running pilot harm reduction projects to creating an online resource hub. Ultimately, Andrew hopes the podcast will challenge the misconception that chemsex equals a "messy" life, instead showcasing the agency, complexity, and humanity of those involved. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 

Andrew’s Web site : Coming Spring 2026 

Matthew Numer (Dalhousie University) :  

Philip Joy (Mount Saint Vincent University) :   

G-emergency Response

In this prelude to the YHZ Halifax series, this episode centers on the central question of this podcast series: Why is it important for people with lived experience of PnP/chemsex to tell their own stories in their own words? 

First, Olivier Ferlatte, the principal investigator of Chemstories, asks the question to Halifax Host Andrew who emphasizes that lived experience is a powerful tool for empathy and destigmatization. Andrew then asks the same question to his guests Steven, James, Harry and Hector whose reflections set the tone for the episodes to come. 

Together, their voices underscore that visibility is key to building a supportive community where no one has to navigate the challenges of chemsex alone. They hope their stories will not only foster personal connections but also drive the creation of more effective, compassionate policies and support systems.

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Éric, Ally, and Michael address the lack of support and visibility for gender-diverse individuals in the chemsex scene. Éric emphasizes that amplifying these rare voices is essential to breaking isolation for those who feel unseen. 

The group also critiques alienating, abstinence-only recovery models, instead celebrating the emergence of inclusive harm-reduction alternatives. They conclude by advocating for a diverse "safety net" of resources—offering multiple paths to health so fewer people fall through the cracks. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.

Éric, Ally, and Michael examine performative gender pressures. Éric used chemsex to escape hyper-masculinity while briefly embodying its "super version." Ally similarly built a masculine persona for acceptance but eventually used these experiences to peel back those layers and reject external validation. 

The group also discusses how identity impacts relationships. Michael highlights the difficulty of finding authentic connection as a trans man in hypersexualized scenes, choosing to de-center sex for his mental health. Ally emphasizes that regular partners provided a safety net, protecting her from the fetishization and risks gender-diverse people often face in anonymous settings. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Montréal Host Éric introduces Ally and Michael to center gender-diverse voices in the chemsex conversation. Éric connects his drug use to his non-binary identity, discussing how gender dysphoria and a lack of affirming care can make substances a survival mechanism. Michael explains using chemsex to cope with transition-related isolation and to disconnect from bodily anxiety. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.

Éric, Hugues, and Jean-Sébastien discuss the community response to chemsex. Jean-Sébastien critiques treating addiction as a personal failure, advocating for a collective, skilled approach instead. They highlight gaps in healthcare systems not designed for queer lives and the need for non-judgmental spaces where people can truly be heard. 

Looking ahead, Hugues calls for sustainable solutions that honor community resilience. Jean-Sébastien addresses the ambivalence—fascination mixed with fear—surrounding chemsex, stressing honest dialogue over scare tactics. The episode concludes by emphasizing that true recovery lies in rebuilding bridges and supporting one another. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 

Ça prend un village (It Takes A Village): 4 testimonials from people who share their personal stories and explain how they came to build their own crystal meth recovery village. FOR guys in recovery, made BY guys in recovery. (In French only) 

The velvet rage: Overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man's world (2nd ed.). Book by Downs, A. (2012). Lifelong books.