Chemstories – a podcast about PnP/chemsex (English-language edition)

Éric, Hugues, and Jean-Sébastien explore the evolution of queer spaces—from clandestine origins to modern venues centered on sensuality or sobriety. They discuss a post-COVID shift toward more diverse ways to meet and connect. 

The group delves into how sex functions as a tool for validation, often using substances to navigate the vulnerability of intimacy. Hugues frames queer joy as political resistance against heteronormativity. They conclude by examining chemsex as a "great equalizer," momentarily stripping away the competitiveness of the gay scene and offering respite from social anxiety. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 

The Village: Podcast by CBC Listen (2019-2025). The Village investigates unresolved — and often underreported — cases of missing and murdered individuals in queer communities across Canada and beyond.  

Unlimited intimacy: Reflections on the subculture of barebacking: Book by Dean, T. (2009). University of Chicago Press.  

The four reasons we love meth: Article by Fox, L. (2021, June 29). Medium.   

Montreal Host Éric introduces Hugues and Jean-Sébastien to discuss the intersections of queer history, community, sex and substance use. Hugues, a researcher of queer spaces, shares his experience in PnP culture viewed through a lens of strict moderation. Jean-Sébastien, founder of "Ça prend un village," discusses his transition from addiction to recovery advocacy, highlighting the power of real stories to counter fear-based narratives. 

The group explores the link between HIV diagnosis and chemsex, with Hugues revealing how he once saw crystal meth as a potential "exit strategy." Jean-Sébastien echoes this, describing using drugs to navigate downfall on his own terms. Together, they unpack the history of "poz circles" as a sanctuary for sexuality free from stigma, ultimately finding that community connection. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.

Ça prend un village (It Takes A Village): 4 testimonials from people who share their personal stories and explain how they came to build their own crystal meth recovery village. FOR guys in recovery, made BY guys in recovery. (In French only) 

Éric, Gabriel, and Mikiki explore the body’s role in addiction and recovery. Éric shares how traditional 12-step programs failed him until he embraced drug use as a somatic experience rather than just a mental one. This shift transformed his creative process, allowing him to write from bodily intuition and move beyond past darkness. 

The group also discusses sexual intimacy after chemsex, critiquing recovery services that prescribe celibacy without guidance on reclaiming pleasure. They highlight a "somatic training" pilot project where participants explore sensation without performance pressure to re-map physical connection. The episode concludes by advocating for compassion and curiosity over fear-based drug education. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Éric, Gabriel, and Mikiki explore the tension between suffering and pleasure in chemsex, challenging the narrative that addiction stems solely from pain. They reflect on how substance use initially served as an "antidote" to perfectionism and trauma before spiraling into shame and isolation. 

The group discusses art's role in processing these experiences; Gabriel shares how his "DEAR VICKY" collection mourns his life before HIV while pivoting toward hope. Mikiki emphasizes curiosity over judgment and the value of humor. The episode concludes by urging listeners to embrace creative expression as a vital means of connection and survival. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Montreal host Éric introduces performance artist Mikiki, whose journey from "baby anarchist" to queer health activist informs their provocative work. Mikiki discusses video as an anti-market medium for activism and how complex PTSD led them to prioritize art over traditional employment. 

They explore Mikiki’s video "Red Flags: A Love Letter," which reframes injection drug use through a neutral or positive lens. The conversation captures the communal reality of chemsex and the underground’s "glamour," framing creative expression as a survival strategy while navigating substance use. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Browse Mikiki's work: 

Montreal host Éric introduces Gabriel, a fashion designer who transforms trauma into cathartic art. They discuss his graduate collection, "SØRRY MØM," which uses a flood metaphor to depict recovery from crystal meth. The designs progress from dark, suffocating silhouettes representing the "deep end" to lighter tones symbolizing the imperfect nature of healing. 

They also explore "HONEYCUM," which uses bee symbolism to address his HIV diagnosis. Gabriel reflects on the emotional intensity of sharing such vulnerable work on the runway, highlighting how creative expression serves as a vital tool for processing shame and finding purpose amidst struggle. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

Browse Gabriel's Work: 

Éric and Olivier discuss Montreal's unique party landscape, where "progressive" vibes and 24/7 bathhouses foster an openness to substance use. Éric critiques the city’s fragile support systems, highlighting a reliance on short-term funding rather than a permanent strategy for long-term recovery. 

Looking ahead, Éric previews upcoming panels on art and advocacy while candidly discussing the difficulty of finding trans and gender-diverse guests. He links this challenge to his own journey, revealing how recovery helped him embrace his non-binary identity after years of using drugs to escape rigid gender standards. The episode concludes with a call to move from fear toward compassion and action. 

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services. 

🔗 Other Resources Mentioned 

Olivier introduces Éric, a playwright and community advocate prominent in Montreal’s chemsex scene. Éric explains how his play, “Ces regards amoureux de garçons altérés”, captures the raw intensity of a 72-hour sauna session. Writing while active allowed him to portray the experience's complexity—not just the struggle, but the pleasure and the search for connection.

Éric also reflects on his decade-long journey to sobriety, viewing chemsex less as a problem and more as a "solution" to underlying issues at the time. He emphasizes that his past forced him to confront his truth, ultimately allowing him to be fully present for others today.

The inaugural YUL Montreal episode centers on the central question of this podcast series: Why is it important for people with lived experience of PnP/chemsex to tell their own stories in their own words? Principal investigator Olivier Ferlatte poses this to host Éric, who then gathers reflections from guests Hugues, Jean-Sébastien, Mikiki, Gabriel, Michael, and Ally.

Together, they illustrate why no single narrative can capture the complexity of chemsex. This conversation explores unfiltered storytelling, the politics of voice, and how representation challenges stigma. As a prelude to the season, it underscores how personal stories foster understanding, connection, and community.

If you’re looking for support related to chemsex, please check the list of available resources and services on the page: Chemsex resources/services.

The group redefines stigma as active oppression that creates borders within the community. They discuss the vital necessity of friendships to combat isolation, highlighting the importance of a non-judgmental "voice of reason."

If you’re looking for support, please explore our list of Chemsex resources/services.