Archie has a boxing rematch, FP and Jughead try to stop Fizzle Rocks overdoses, and Betty chloroforms her mom.

Jughead and the serpents try to stop his kingpin mom’s drug dealing gang. Betty and Cheryl try to stop the Farm. Veronica tries to stop her parents from getting divorced. They all fail.

Yes, it’s the Heathers episode! The main topics of discussion are the dramatic whooshing sound effects, a college paper about the intertextuality that Allison wrote, and the iconic outfits, dance numbers, and line changes.

FP is turning 50, Archie is trying to end people wanting to kill him once and for all, and Reggie wants to matter Ronni.

Allison and Evan attempt to comprehend incomprehensible plotlines about genius 7-year old murders (who are secretly the younger brother of your juvie siutationship), underground casinos, and “deputizing the serpents”.

Archie wants to box professionally, Alice wants to be baptized into the farm, Gladys wants the gargoyles to join the serpents, and Veronica wants daddy to get out of crime (as always).

In maybe my favorite pod so far, we discuss the “gay antics” episode “Bizarrodale”. Cheryl outs someone through blind items, Kevin can’t keep blaming Brokeback Riverdale with someone who’s in the closet, and we assess the long term impacts of conversion therapy.

Archie is in his flop era, Veronica tries to keep the mob enterprise going while Hiram is down, and we finally get to see Penelope’s brothel.

Archie is back home, the kids are stressed about taking the SATs, and Betty just wants to go to college.