Chick Lit Murder Mysteries

In part two of discussing Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich, we talk about Stephanie's relationship with both Morelli and Ranger, how Morelli eats a cupcake, and all about Ranger's apartment.

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

We're ringing in the new year with part one of our second two-part episode! This episode we're discussing Ten Big Ones by Janet Evanovich. Steph finds herself in the crosshairs of a dangerous street gang and needs somewhere safe to hide that isn't Morelli's house. Luckily for her, Ranger is out of town and has lent her his truck. Even luckier, apparently Ranger is a bad-ass bounty hunter who doesn't know the directions to his apartment, so he has "home" plugged into the truck's GPS. Steph follows it and decides she's going to sneak in and stay there while he's out of town. Meanwhile, the stakes keep climbing as Steph learns a hit has been taken out on her, and that she's on the kill list of a dangerous gang member who has been flown all the way to Trenton from L.A.

We meet an FTA who just wants some damn chips, Sally Sweet is back(!!) and Stephanie's sister, Val, is getting married.

Check out Part Two for more on Ranger and Morelli!

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

We pick up where we left off in our discussion of To the Nines by Janet Evanovich. Stephanie is being hunted in a terrifying assassination game, and she has to figure out who is behind it before it is too late!

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Y'all, it's our first mini episode! As promised, we watched and discussed the One for the Money movie adaptation while on our annual weekend getaway.

Glass half-full Frannie tries to see the positive in the movie, while bitter, bitchy Katy (who had to stop watching Stranger Things to watch the movie) tries, and fails, to keep her bitchiness in check. 

Nestled within our thought-provoking, scholarly analysis are clips of our reactions while watching the movie, marked by a tape rewind sound (look, it was the best we could get from Garageband. Also, we don't know what we're doing). As an added bonus, there's more reaction clips at the end, so stick around and don't abandon us at the sign off!

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Clips from One for the Money, produced by Lakeshore Entertainment and Sidney Kimmel Entertainment

Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

It's Halloween and we're getting spooky up in here, talking about A High Heels Haunting by Gemma Halliday. Kya is a boring web designer with a boring life and boring wardrobe. And a cat. She's so hopeless that she might as well have paint on her overalls. But an absurdly impractical pair of Maddie Springer red stilettos seems to be changing all of that. A night of getting white-girl wasted and doing basic white girl dancing in the shoes lands her a modeling offer, alongside an "orgasm on a screen" male model, Blake. Unfortunately, Blake's ex, the model who inspired boring Kya to order the shoes, drowned 6 months ago and Kya is having dreams of drowning. Clearly the shoes are haunted...or something.

Katy is perturbed that Gemma is writing a book about her, Frannie has deep thoughts about La Llorona, and neither of us can figure out how the shoe haunting thing was supposed to work.

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/  

Things are heating up in Trenton in Seven Up by Janet Evanovich. Steph is tracking Eddie DeChooch, aka "Choochie", a semi-retired mobster who can't see, hear, or get it up. Another FTA is a metaphorical flaccid penis who finally found his balls, and Steph's perfect sister, Valerie, has sworn off penises (peni?) altogether. Morelli and Steph are engaged, but there seems to have been a direct correlation between being cockblocked for all of Hot Six and his intense desire to propose. Meanwhile Ranger's hard for Steph and offers her a terrifying deal.

Katy discusses her childhood aspirations of being a shark singer (yeah yeah, it's not a thing. Whatever.), Frannie loses her mind over a simple question, and we both discuss the delicious ways that Janet subtly (and unsubtly) highlights the ridiculousness of men and their penises (peni?).

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Maddie's gettin' married! That's right, we're talking about Mayhem in High Heels by Gemma Halliday this week. Everything's coming up roses for Maddie: she's getting married in a week to a guy who's super invested in the wedding, her wedding planner totally made sure the cake and invitations were done long before the week of the wedding, and nothing could possibly go wrong. Well, except that Ramirez gives no fucks about the actual wedding, their wedding planner is murdered, leaving Maddie a week away from her wedding without even a color scheme, invites, or a freakin cake, and Marco and Dana decide to take over and it's about as horrible as you can imagine. *Shudder*

Also, Frannie hates weddings. She HATES weddings. Katy loves weddings. She LOVES weddings. We're both over the Maddie shenanigans. OVER them. You've been warned.

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution – ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

This week we're discussing Alibi in High Heels by Gemma Halliday. Maddie heads to Paris to showcase her big-girl shoes during Fashion Week and her mom and Mrs. Rosenblatt tag along. Of course shit goes sideways, the lead model is killed and somehow Maddie gets framed for it. Despite the fact that she's hobbling around on crutches cause someone who will remain nameless (hint: rhymes with Crosenflat) ran over her, breaking her ankle.

And y'all, Felix has a castle. And he's a lord. And he has magnum condoms. And he kisses Maddie. And Ramirez sees it. And Ramirez dumps Maddie. It's a whirlwind of emotions for all of us.

Also, we hear about Katy's swan encounter (fucking swans), Frannie doesn't trust the French, and we debate the logistics of phone sex in ducky pajamas and having sex with a cast on your ankle.

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Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution - ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

We're back with another Maddie Springer adventure: Undercover in High Heels by Gemma Halliday.

Maddie loses her mind and Ramirez pays the price in the form of a demotion. He's relegated to bodyguard duty for the lead actress (who is receiving death threats) on Maddie's favorite prime time soap opera, Magnolia Lane. Maddie and Dana decide they're going to make it up to Ramirez by solving the case themselves. Shenanigans ensue.

Frannie fangirls all over the place about the book and awards shows, Katy gives her opinions on both clowns and how Maddie can make it up to Ramirez, and we learn the unfortunate truth that Chicken Dance Elmo is in fact a thing.

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Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution - ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

What happens in Vegas gets reviewed on a podcast! This week we're discussing Killer in High Heels by Gemma Halliday. Ramirez ghosted Maddie and she handles it about as well as you would think she would. Meanwhile a phone call from long-lost bio dad leads Maddie & Co to Vegas to help catch a killer. Frannie discusses her case of mistaken identity in Vegas, Katy loses her mind over the word "panties", and both become real friendly with a bottle of....who knows what kind of wine. It was wine. It was cheap. And there was a lot of it. **BONUS** Stay tuned after the credits to hear the moment where Katy goes from buzzed to drunk. Music: Candy (c) by Jahzzar (betterwithmusic.com) CC BY-SA Candy is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution - ShareAlike 4.0 International License, available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/