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- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Sex Addiction is different to Porn Addiction. Sex & Porn Addiction are different to Love Addiction. They all get set up in 3 ways:

1. Opportunity: Material accessed too early in childhood development

2. Trauma: Just as it says on the label of the can! But make trauma age-related and its impact on the immature developing brain, not what is going on in wars between Russia & Ukraine, Israel & Hamas

3. Insecure Attachment: A disruption in the early years bonding between the child and main caregivers

Definition of sex addiction: A pattern of sexual behaviours which pre-occupy your thoughts and are out of control. You cannot stay stopped for a sustainable period or consistently and it has harmful consequences and the behaviour serves a function in your life and it is used primarily to anaesthetize some negative feeling state. (The important criteria which makes it an addiction, rather than a love of sex, is that it serves a function). 

Love Addiction: We all want love and affection and to feel special to at least one person. We need attachment and instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love and affection and connection.

Love addiction, however, is a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get our sense of security and worth from another person. During infatuation we believe we have that security only to be disappointed and empty again once the intensity fades. The negative consequences can be severe and yet the love addict continues to hang on to the belief that true love will fix everything.

Therefore, they eventually get back up after the hurt of rejection and try the chase again and again, even when love from at least one other, is in front of them. Caused by “Attachment”, mostly set up in childhood, it seeks to fill a perceived void, that will never actually be filled.

We all want love and affection and to feel special to at least one person. We need attachment and we instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love, affection and connection.

There is a difference between a Compulsion and an Addiction, even if the journey to recovery is the same. Here is a link to my whiteboard video to help better understand all of those distinctions - https://youtu.be/Sd_28nqNK1A

Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.

Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

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