Have you ever experienced something so painful that you just wanted to erase it from your memory forever? Those "never again" moments that feel too heavy to carry? We all have them – whether it's a relapse, a toxic relationship, or a betrayal that left us wounded.

In this powerful episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, hosts Duane and Eric explore the practice of "benefit finding" – a transformative approach to mining our painful experiences for growth and wisdom. Instead of pushing away difficult memories, they suggest we might find our greatest lessons within them.

This isn't about toxic positivity or pretending everything happens for a reason. It's about recognizing our remarkable human capacity to make meaning from suffering. As Viktor Frankl discovered in the concentration camps, "suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it finds a meaning."

Modern psychology calls this "post-traumatic growth" – the ability to find positive changes in five key areas: appreciation of life, relationships, new possibilities, personal strength, and spiritual change. When we intentionally reframe negative experiences, we're actually rewiring our brain through neuroplasticity.

The hosts provide a practical four-step process to transform your pain into wisdom:

Through this process, your darkest moments can become sources of inspiration and light – not just for yourself, but for others around you. As Brené Brown reminds us, "Our wholeness actually depends on the integration of all of our experiences, including the falls."

Whether you're in recovery or simply navigating life's challenges, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap for turning pain into purpose. Download the accompanying worksheet to begin your journey of transformation today.

Download the Worksheet

[00:00:54] Introduction to the topic of painful experiences we wish we could erase 

[00:04:00] Explanation of benefit finding and transforming pain into growth 

[00:07:40] Discussion of Viktor Frankl and making meaning from suffering 

[00:08:29] The five areas of post-traumatic growth 

[00:09:12] How reframing negative experiences rewires our brains 

[00:13:00] Step 1 & 2: Identifying and understanding your painful experience 

[00:15:22] Steps 3 & 4: Extracting lessons and creating new learnings

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Counseling and Recovery Center

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Our guest on this episode of the Addicted Mind podcast is Jack Bloomfield, a specialist in the ARISE model of interventions. This model is an alternative to the “traditional” form of confrontational interventions created in the 1960s by Dr. Johnson. In this confrontational model, the focus is very much on the addict, usually involving an ambush-type situation where several family members trick the addict into coming to a certain location where they are presented with some type of “go to rehab tomorrow or else…” ultimatum.

Due to the heartfelt emotions in this situation, addicts are likely to agree to go to rehab, but 70% of them will leave rehab within 2 weeks because they didn’t make the decision to enter on their own terms.

They usually feel anger and resentment towards their family which proves to be counterproductive to the family’s original desires and plan.

The ARISE model of intervention is different and successful in 3 areas:

It is an invitation model.

The addict is invited to a “family meeting” where they likely know what will be discussed.

The dialogue changes from “you have a problem” to “we, as a family, have a problem.”

80% of addicts will come when they are invited.

50% of those happen because they recognize that they have a problem

50% will go because they don’t think they have a problem and want to defend themselves

The focus is on the family.

The family indicates that they recognize that they all have things they need to work on in themselves, and they have reached out to someone who can help them all as a family.

The addict does not feel singled out.

The interventionist works with the family for 6 months.

By committing to continuing care, the family creates a safe place for all of them to work on and discuss their issues and their progress during weekly accountability phone calls.

This timeframe empowers the addict to make their own choices and not feel forced or pressured into action.

They may decide that rehab, intensive outpatient treatment, or just consistent AA meetings are their best option.

During and after the addict addresses their issue, the family is all on the same page and speaking the same language because they have all been on a healing journey together.

The incredible statistic is that while 70% of addicts who enter rehab as a result of a confrontational intervention will leave within 2 weeks, only 2% of addicts who enter rehab as a result of an ARISE intervention will disappear within 30 days.

This gives so much hope to the families waiting for a breakthrough in the life of their loved one who struggles with addiction.

To Connect with Jack:

www.adesignforliving.com

For more information about the ARISE intervention model, visit www.arise-network.com.

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, Duane and Eric dive deep into the unspoken roles that families often fall into, especially when dealing with addiction. They explore how these roles—like the hero, caretaker, scapegoat, mascot, and lost child—can perpetuate dysfunction and hinder recovery.

By understanding and identifying these roles, you can begin to break free from the cycles that keep you stuck. Tune in to learn practical steps for recognizing these dynamics, fostering open communication, and setting boundaries that support your journey toward recovery and authentic living.

Download: UNMASKING FAMILY ROLES WORKSHEET

Join Our Deep Dive, where we discuss this episode in depth.

Register Here: https://theaddictedmind.com/deepdive

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Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

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Discover the profound insights of Dr. Frederic Luskin, renowned psychologist and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, as he unpacks the powerful role forgiveness plays in our lives. Alongside him, former Episcopal priest, Lyndon Harris shares his compelling journey of healing after the 9/11 tragedy, illustrating the transformative power of forgiveness. Together, they share personal narratives and professional insights that highlight forgiveness as a vital skill for mental and emotional well-being.

Our conversation dives deep into the complex dynamics between forgiveness and survival. We explore how anger can initially serve as a source of empowerment but often becomes a restrictive force that holds us back. By recognizing forgiveness as a skill that can be taught and honed over time, supported by extensive research, we reveal how it can shift individuals from a victim mindset to a more empowered life story. This episode sheds light on how forgiveness, though not a moral directive, is an essential component of self-care that can be developed to improve our capacity for compassion and authentic living.

In this episode, you will hear:

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Supporting Resources:

The Art of Forgiveness- Frederic Luskin, Ph.D

The Forgive for Good Recovery Workbook

TedTalk - Lyndon Harris

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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Have you ever thought, "I've tried recovery before and failed—why try again?" or "This is just who I am"? These beliefs might be the biggest barrier to lasting recovery.  

In this solo episode, licensed therapist Duane Osterlind shares how a growth mindset can transform your recovery journey. Drawing from Dr. Carol Dweck's research, Duane explains how viewing your abilities and capacity for recovery as things that can grow and change (rather than fixed traits) makes all the difference.  

Recovery is rarely a straight path. For many, it's a series of hopeful starts followed by setbacks. Each relapse can make doubt grow louder: "Maybe I'm not strong enough," or "Maybe I'll always be this way." These thoughts aren't just discouraging—they actively harm recovery.  

When we believe change isn’t possible, we avoid challenges, give up easily, and see effort as pointless. This mindset isn’t just psychological—it impacts physical health, increases stress, and perpetuates addiction.  

But there is another way. A growth mindset recognizes that your brain is neuroplastic—able to form new pathways throughout life. The same neuroplasticity that allowed addiction to take hold can help you build healthier habits. Through this lens, relapse becomes valuable data, not failure, offering insights about triggers and strategies for meaningful change.  

Duane shares practical steps to build this mindset, like becoming aware of your self-talk, reframing challenges, embracing "the power of yet," and celebrating effort over outcomes. Recovery becomes about resilience and growth, not perfection.  

Ready to change your approach?

Download the free growth mindset worksheet in the show notes.

Download The Worksheet

Join The Addicted Mind Plus Community for more support.

Join The Community

[00:00:54] Introduction to growth mindset in addiction recovery 

[00:04:21] The research behind mindset theory and Dr. Carol Dweck's work 

[00:07:00] Understanding brain neuroplasticity in addiction and recovery 

[00:09:39] Actionable steps to develop a growth mindset in recovery 

[00:12:31] The power of adding "yet" to negative self-statements 

[00:14:05] The importance of seeking constructive feedback 

[00:16:00] Closing thoughts: "Becoming is better than being"

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High-functioning codependency takes center stage as we welcome licensed psychotherapist and boundary expert Terri Cole to the Addicted Mind podcast. With a unique journey from a talent agent to a psychotherapist, Terri shares her personal experiences and insights from her book, "Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency." We dive into the world of individuals who seem to manage life with ease yet secretly bear the weight of excessive responsibilities. Terri provides valuable strategies to help listeners recognize and break free from these patterns, offering a path towards healthier relationships and personal well-being.

The episode also shines a light on the connection between highly sensitive people and high-functioning codependency. Terri and I explore the challenges of managing the instinct to control others' emotions and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Personal anecdotes bring these discussions to life, including the struggle to support a loved one while respecting their autonomy. By acknowledging the discomfort of letting go, listeners can learn to empower others to be the heroes of their own stories, fostering genuine connection and intimacy.

In this episode, you will hear:

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Supporting Resources:

NovusMindfulLife.com

Instagram: Terri Cole (@terricole)

Book: Too Much https://www.terricole.com/

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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Imagine this: You're in the middle of a stressful moment. Your heart races, shame creeps in, and that familiar voice in your head starts up again: "I'm a failure. I'll never change." What if you could stop this spiral with just a few powerful words?

In this episode of The Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric explore how creating a personal positive mantra can transform your recovery journey. These simple phrases aren't just feel-good statements—they're powerful tools backed by science that can literally rewire your brain.

Our hosts break down how negative automatic thoughts become hardwired through repetition, creating harmful cycles that feel impossible to escape. But there's hope! Using the concept of neuroplasticity—the brain's ability to form new connections—they explain how intentionally shifting these thoughts with personal mantras can change how you feel and respond to stress, shame, and cravings.

The episode offers a practical three-step process to create your own personal mantra: identify your automatic negative thoughts, challenge them with more realistic perspectives, and craft a simple, memorable mantra you can use in tough moments. Examples like "This feeling will pass" and "I am stronger than this moment" show how these short phrases can become powerful anchors when you need them most.

Duane and Eric emphasize that recovery isn't something we do alone—it's a journey we take together. They share how these mantras, when practiced regularly, become stronger with each use—like doing one rep at the gym.

Whether you're new to recovery or looking to strengthen your journey, this episode provides a simple yet powerful tool to help you navigate stress, regulate emotions, and stay grounded when you need it most.

Rewire Your Brain: The Power of Personal Mantras for Recovery Worksheet

Join The TAM+ Community >> Here

[00:01:08] Introduction to personal coping mantras and their power in stressful moments

[00:03:54] The importance of community in recovery journeys 

[00:05:00] Understanding how automatic negative thoughts shape our emotions and behaviors 

[00:06:14] The science and history behind mantras in psychological practice

[00:09:00] Step 1: Identifying your automatic negative thoughts 

[00:11:58] Step 2 & 3: Challenging negative thoughts and creating positive mantras 

[00:16:09] Resources available for listeners to implement these practices

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Unlock the secret to healing from betrayal as Eddie Caparucci, a seasoned counselor, guides us through the transformative power of inner child work. Gain insights from Eddie as he unravels the intricate tapestry of trauma, betrayal, and recovery. Eddie’s latest book offers a lifeline to those grappling with the pain of infidelity, drawing connections between unresolved childhood wounds and present-day struggles. Together with his wife, Teri, they illuminate a path towards reclaiming one's sense of self and emotional resilience.

Join us as we explore the profound impact of childhood experiences on our responses to betrayal. Eddie shares his expertise on identifying core emotional triggers and how these can magnify the hurt of infidelity. By acknowledging the inner child, betrayed partners can begin the journey of healing and learn to separate raw emotions from rational thoughts. With compassion and understanding, this episode shines a light on the complex journey of recovery, empowering listeners to manage emotional distress more effectively.

In this episode, you will hear:

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Supporting Resources:

https://abundantlifecounselingga.com/

NovusMindfulLife.com

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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What drives you forward when recovery gets tough? In this powerful follow-up to their episode on values, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the concept of "meaning making" – the essential fuel that powers your journey toward your most important goals.

Have you ever achieved something you thought would make you happy, only to feel empty afterward? Or felt stuck in life despite doing everything "right"? This episode explores why so many people – even successful ones – struggle with feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from what truly matters to them.

Using the framework developed by Thomas Mara, the hosts break down how meaning isn't something external that happens to you – it's something you actively create. If values are your North Star showing you direction, meaning is the engine that moves your boat forward.

Duane and Eric explain how distorted meaning-making contributes to anxiety disorders, depression, addiction, and eating disorders – and how reconnecting with authentic meaning can transform recovery. They introduce the concept of "supreme concerns" – the things that matter most to you – and provide practical strategies for identifying them and building your daily life around them.

Whether you're struggling with addiction, mental health challenges, or simply feeling disconnected from purpose, this episode offers a roadmap for creating a more authentic, fulfilling life aligned with what truly matters to you. The hosts remind us that meaning-making isn't just a nice addition to recovery – it's essential for building resilience against life's challenges and creating genuine happiness.

Don't miss the downloadable worksheet mentioned in the show notes to help you identify your own supreme concerns and start creating more meaning in your life today

Download the Worksheet

• The relationship between values and meaning in recovery 

• Understanding meaning as a perspective rather than inherent in objects 

• How distorted meaning contributes to mental health disorders 

• The concept of "supreme concerns" as guideposts for meaningful living 

• Practical strategies for embedding meaning into everyday life 

• Overcoming obstacles to meaning making like fear and powerlessness 

• How alignment with meaning creates resilience and authentic relationships

[00:01:30] Eric's analogy: Values as North Star, meaning as the motor 

[00:03:00] Defining meaning and why it's personal to each individual 

[00:05:49] How anxiety and depression distort meaning 

[00:07:52] The challenge of misalignment even in successful people 

[00:09:13] Exploring the concept of "supreme concerns" 

[00:11:43] Overcoming obstacles to meaning making 

[00:14:00] How meaning making enhances recovery and relationships

Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind

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Growing up amidst the chaos of a turbulent family life in Detroit, Dwayne Barnes discovered a lifeline in the form of creative expression. His journey from a tumultuous childhood to the bright lights of Hollywood is nothing short of remarkable. During our conversation, Dwayne opens up about how acting became his sanctuary, a place where he could channel the dysfunction of his upbringing into something beautiful and transformative. His debut book, "Their Eyes Were Never on Me," is a raw exploration of self-addiction and limiting beliefs, offering a beacon of hope for those eager to break free from their own chains.

Our discussion with Dwayne shines a light on the intricate balance between family challenges and career aspirations. He shares candid reflections on the sacrifices made by loved ones, including a grandmother's unwavering support amidst addiction struggles. Navigating the pressure of Hollywood, Dwayne faced the daunting task of starring in roles that eerily mirrored his own life’s trials. Despite being surrounded by the glamor and allure of fame, he unveils the real-life personal battles and healing processes that unfolded behind the scenes, including the realization of personal issues, obstacles in therapy, and the unyielding quest for resilience.

In this episode, you will hear:

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We’d love for you to follow us if you haven’t yet. Click that purple '+' in the top right corner of your Apple Podcasts app. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.

Supporting Resources:

http://www.authordwaynebarnes.com/

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Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.

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