Today's episode includes a Q & A session conducted live at Recovery Point, which is a resource center for those who struggle with addiction located in Bozeman, Montana.

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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026

[02:19] Paul introduces Jay, Jennifer, Chris and Linda

Each panel member shares a little about themselves and what drove them to seek recovery.

Question – When did you open up to community?

Jay shares that he started going to AA while in jail and attended a program called Bridging the Gap through treatment court which helped him find connection and community.

Jen was a few months into her recovery when she discovered Café RE and found that others sharing their stories helped her a lot.

Chris said he had made several half-hearted attempts at quitting before finding books and communities. He shares that he was stubborn at first, but now has made many friends in Café RE.

Linda attended treatment court with Jay but was trying to be a lone wolf. She didn't have a driver's license and found herself having to ask others for help. She found community in AA and NA/

Questions – What's your favorite recovery quote? One word to summarize your sobriety?

Linda – "it's only a thing if you make it a thing" and her word is "unbelievable"

Chris – "play the tape forward" and his word is "peaceful"

Jen – "keep it simple" and her word is "content"

Jay – "this too shall pass – the good and the bad" and his word is "serenity"

The panel shares their observations on the stigma around addiction decreasing and the increase of alcohol-free options when they go out. They all agree it is great to see that there are more options for people that don't want to drink and more and more places for opportunities to have mocktails while socializing and living life.

Question – In a life without alcohol, has something surprised you?

Jen shares that she always loved to camp and the first time she went alcohol-free, she felt uncomfortable at first. She sees that she has more time to do the things she loves and try new things.

Chris says he has so much clarity and energy to do things. Having more time, flexibility and extra money has been nice.

Jay says a lot of his hobbies stayed the same, he just enjoys them more now. He realized he doesn't really like fishing after doing it for so many years. He has also found that he enjoys coaching his daughter's softball team.

Question – What advice do you have for the person that may be struggling to quit drinking?

Jay – you don't have to do it alone, you don't have to be ashamed

Jen – you can do it, and reach out

Chris – you don't have to do it alone, reach out and engage in a community

Linda – find one person that you can trust and start there.

[49:39] Thoughts from Paul:

The planet is currently giving out signs of distress, and all have anchoring to humans and what we have done to nature. Addiction may be the answer to this. When we stop poisoning ourselves with alcohol, a connection or reconnection with nature takes place.

Addiction, or the other side of addiction, is what connects our species back to the pulsations of the earth, animals, wind, sea and within our own hearts. Addiction and the healing that follows is what connects us back to ourselves, the planets, and the animals.

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You've got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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Today we have Brittany. She is 44 years old, lives in New Braunfels, TX and she had her last drink on May 27th, 2025.

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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026

[02:07] Paul introduces Brittany:

Brittany is 44 years old, is originally from Wisconsin, and lives in New Braunfels, TX with her husband of 18 years. Together they have four kids. For fun, Brittany enjoys sporting events and traveling with her family.

Brittany shares she had a great childhood. Her parents were very supportive of her and her older brother. Her father was the child of alcoholics, so he chose not to drink so there was limited exposure to it while Brittany was growing up.

Brittany's first drink was when she was 15 years old. She didn't drink much throughout her teens as she was more into sports that didn't leave much room for it. In Wisconsin, attending sporting events always included drinking. In college, Brittany enjoyed the party and playing drinking games and all of her friends drank like she did, so she didn't see it as a problem.

After college, Brittany met her husband. He went into the Air Force which found them moving to San Antonio. They hung out with a lot of other young married couples, and they all partied a lot on the weekends. Her husband didn't like Brittany's drinking so she would begin hiding how much she drank, seeing it as him trying to control her.

When their second daughter was born in 2014 with a rare genetic disorder, Brittany began to use alcohol as medication. Caring for a special needs child and also moving a lot as a military family was very stressful for Brittany. With her husband being deployed or on assignments, she was doing a lot of parenting alone which led her to self-medicate often.

When COVID happened, Brittany's husband was able to be home more, but that led to her drinking increase. Brittany switched from wine to vodka, assuming it would be less noticeable to her husband. She began to hide her drinking more and started promising to drink less but it never happened.

Memorial Day weekend of 2025 Brittany's husband left town for work, and she was getting the family settled into their new home with her parents. Brittany had vodka stashed and was drinking in secret throughout the day. That evening, she passed out at the dinner table. Since she had been lying to everyone about drinking, they were worried that something else might be wrong and her mother took her to the hospital.

While she was there, both the nurse and the doctor could see what the issue was, but Brittany was still in denial. Brittany will never forget when the doctor told her, "You are not alone". At this point, the family knew and it felt like a weight was lifted.

A family friend became a lifeline for Brittany, and she contacted him the next day. He is also in recovery and helped her feel less alone. She went to her first AA meeting that day. With the help of her parents since they were living in Wisconsin, Brittany was able to attend meetings, sometimes two, daily.

Brittany says things changed for her very quickly. She started feeling better physically, was losing weight and began working out. The light was beginning to come back into her eyes. Parenting was hard, but she enjoys it much more now that she isn't drinking.

Brittany's parting piece of guidance: You are not alone. Find a sober community and jump in with both feet.

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It all starts from the inside out.

I love you guys.

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Today we have Chris. He is 55 years old, from Madison, WI, and he took his last drink of alcohol on April 7th, 2015.

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Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026

[02:02] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul recently gave an opening talk at a fundraising gala for Yellowstone Alliance Adventures. This is the venue where the annual Bozeman retreat is held. He shared with the guests that he holds an annual sober retreat there but initially hadn't rehearsed sharing that he was also sober. After a few moments of silence, mid-talk, Paul shared that he is also in recovery.

Paul says he knows he didn't have to share that part, but when he did, it felt good to be up there in front of a crowd as his authentic self. In a world that can very fake and shallow, people are craving authenticity. Paul wants to go places where he can be himself.

Listeners, where can you show up as yourself in your life? What curtains, walls, or barriers are you hiding behind where you think people don't want to see you? While it isn't easy to show up as your authentic self, you will be rewarded by doing so.

We are here; we are whole.

[07:03] Paul introduces Chris:

Chris is 55 years old, works in IT by day, has three kids across two marriages and for fun he likes to make music, create games, and enjoys working on art.

Chris' parents divorced when he was young due to his father's drinking. Because there was so much going on at home, Chris says he focused much of his attention on school, sports, drama and choir to remain out of the house. He shares that he only drank one time in high school and got caught and ended up with some consequences.

Once in college, Chris had the freedom to drinking and other drugs pretty heavily right away. Early on, he got kicked out of a bar. During is freshman year, depression kicked in and he had a suicide attempt. Chris says drinking was never good for him. He never felt like it was solving any problems, but he was entranced by it.

Chris never really saw his drinking as a problem and surrounded himself by people that drank like he did. He enjoyed playing in bands and going to bars. Over the next 15 years he began to get away from the drugs but found his alcohol use increasing to compensate. By his mid-30's, Chris says it was just him in his basement pretending to record music or write a book, but the reality was it was just him down there drinking.

At this point in time, Chris knew he had to try and control his drinking but was unable to do so. His second marriage was to someone who drank more than he did, which he assumed meant she wouldn't hassle him about what he was doing.

Chris says there wasn't a definitive moment that led him to quit, it was more a gradual decent. He lost his job because he wasn't very present, he got a DUI and then got a divorce, all within six months' time. He had court ordered sobriety and white knuckled it for a while but ultimately planned his relapse which led to him drinking all hours of the day and realizing alcohol wasn't working anymore.

Chris reflects that this realization was a good thing. He tried a lot of different things in the beginning: AA, SMART recovery, podcasts, Quitlit – anything to fill the void he initially felt by not drinking. He was always willing to try different things and acknowledges that some things come and go. He joined Café RE for a songwriting course as he was approaching 10 years sober. Chris knows that staying strong in his recovery daily is what will keep him from relapsing.

Chris is grateful for his sobriety as he has navigated some difficult things over the last several years. He is glad he no longer uses alcohol as a crutch to make it through life. When times are tough, he leans more into more meetings or talking to friends.

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You got to take the stairs back up

We can do this

I love you guys

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Today we have Aimee. She is 51 years old, from Minneapolis, MN and took her last drink on March 20th, 2022.

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[02:39] Thoughts from Paul:

AA has been the most popular and widely recognized program to treat alcohol addiction for more than 50 years. And that has pleased Big Alcohol because it has the word "anonymous" in it. Big Alcohol knows they are selling an addictive drug, and it is a gift to them that when people figure out that alcohol lies to them about their product, calming them down or enhancing their lives, they won't say anything.

Paul isn't dogging AA but recognizes that the anonymous part had kept the stigma of addiction going. Paul shares and excerpt from As Bill Sees It from Bill W., the founder of AA.

The way he reads it, he doesn't think that Bill W. ever intended the anonymity component to be a curtain of shame. It is just in reference to what is said in the meetings, stays in the meetings.

Gone are the days of keeping it a secret. In the last four years Big Alcohol has lost $830 billion in revenue. We have to keep talking about this. As Bill W. says, it's a tragedy that drinking has been marketed as good for us, but we're starting to get it right.

[08:16] Paul introduces Aimee:

Aimee lives in Minneapolis, MN, works for a large medical device company, is married and has two adult children. For fun Aimee enjoys traveling now that she is in recovery and has been dabbling with art.

.

Aimee's father was in recovery from alcohol around the time that she was 12 and she remembers the impact seeing him there had on her. Her parents were divorced and she and her mom had a strained relationship. Aimee ended up moving to Minneapolis from Texas to live with her dad and had struggles with bullying in school. Drinking became a way to feel like she belonged in a group.

When Aimee was in her early 20s, her father lost his mother and was very depressed. Aimee feels like she was parenting her dad at that time while she was also getting married and having her own kids. Their children were very active with sports and weekends while the kids were playing, the parents were partying.

Aimee thinks her drinking became a problem around 2018. In 2019, her father passed away. Shortly after he passed, she thought she would quit drinking for a year in remembrance of him. Aimee wasn't sure she could do it, but if she could do it, it would prove to herself that she didn't have a problem.

Without community or AA, Aimee stayed sober for about 15 months. She wasn't interested in AA and didn't have any other resources. Aimee started drinking again and would have multiple stops and starts until 2022 when her husband was about to have open heart surgery.

Knowing the level of care she needed to provide after the surgery, Aimee began seeking other resources to assist with recovery. She hadn't told anyone about her quitting, not even her husband. But she found community and listening to others share helped her feel less alone. There were a lot of things happening within her family that could have made her want to throw in the towel, but being part of the Café RE community helped her.

Aimee says the first year in recovery had her feeling the pink cloud a bit, but years two and three were a little more challenging. However, she is now going back to school since her kids are now adults, and planning travel. Two things she knows she wouldn't be able to do if she was still drinking.

Aimee's parting piece of guidance: just don't quit quitting. You don't have to hold onto shame.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down

You got to take the stairs back up

We can do this

I love you guys

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Today we have Ron. He is 67 years old from Milwaukee, WI and he took his last drink of alcohol on February 19th, 2026.

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[02:57] Thoughts from Paul:

The village, the community, the tribe, has been completely destroyed in the last couple hundred years, and this messes with us big time. Okay, the opposite of addiction is connection, but what exactly are we connecting to?

The big one here is yourself. If you're disconnected within, everything in your outside world will be fractured also. The next big one is when you connect with others. But even after that, probably the biggest connection is the one with nature.

There's no coincidence as our war against nature intensifies, so do ailments such as addictions, chronic pain, depression, and anxiety disorders. We are being called home, and it's a beautiful thing. So how do you build this connection with nature or the natural world?

I've got good news for you. You are the natural world. So, this separation is false from the first place, and it's a mind-created fiction. So go outside, read a book outside, download the Merlin Bird app, and learn the birds that call your neighborhood home.

[08:04] Paul introduces Ron:

Ron is 67 and lives in Milwaukee, WI. He is the president of a large restaurant company. He has been married to his wife for 12 years, has two grown children, five grandchildren and two dogs. For fun Ron enjoys travelling, reading, golf and time with family.

Ron says he first drank when he was a teenager, but it was very occasional. He says that most of his adult life, he did not have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol until he was around 52 years old.

In 2010, Ron was going through a divorce and opened a sports bar. He spent a lot of time there buying and drinking shots while interacting with customers. Ron says going from a non-drinker to a daily drinker happened very quickly.

Ron's drinking went unexamined. He was professional, he was doing well and it wasn't impacting his work. He was working out, running marathons, everything on the outside looked functional. Around 2012, Ron realized he was having too many hangovers and tried many forms of moderation for eight years.

In 2020, Ron decided to quit and did it for 13 months. Although he was mindful during this time, Ron says he was a dry drunk and didn't have the layers of tools that he would need to maintain sobriety. Alcohol was continuously around and he became tired of being the only person who did not drink. It only took two weeks for Ron to end up right back where he was.

Ron and his wife began golfing and drinking a lot during the pandemic. His wife went from being a moderate drinker to being a heavy drinker. In 2024, Ron began to notice she was having a challenging relationship with alcohol too.

Ron's wife's drinking habits were different than his, but they began having some issues communicating and connecting. He started talking to her about moderation, but those efforts didn't work for her. She decided to check into a 30-day inpatient program and within three days, Ron says he saw his wife come back spiritually. It was then that Ron knew he had to quit with her.

Ron's last drink was the day before his wife got home from rehab. This time he is using more resources and has additional accountability with his wife. He began reading and listening to podcasts and by the time she got home he was ready. Ron and his wife have started going to counseling and are doing the work together and individually. Included in their recovery is attending AA, SMART recovery and Café RE. Ron realizes how important community is on the recovery journey.

Ron's parting piece of guidance: lean into people.

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We took the elevator down,

We got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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Today we have Lidia. She is 41 years old from Seattle, WA and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 31st, 2025.

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[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:

Some of you may have seen the title of today's episode which is The Best Way to Feel Better. And that's why you're tuning in – to feel better. Maybe you're in early sobriety and you're not feeling good.

Paul shares with us how the best way of feeling better has taken place in his life. It comes when he may be having a bad day but has an interview with a new guest scheduled. There have been a few times where he was hoping that they wouldn't show but has discovered that within the first few minutes of talking with them – he feels better.

The best way to feel better is to talk to another human being. Talk to someone you trust, maybe make an unplanned visit to a friend's house. There is a reason they call it the 10,000-pound phone. Because the mind (or addiction) wants you alone. Just knowing this makes it easier to pick up the phone.

[06:09] Paul introduces Lidia:

Lidia is 41 years old, and lives outside of Seattle with her husband, their daughter and their dog. For fun, Lidia enjoys hiking, puppy yoga, her daughter's Girl Scouts and the local community theater.

Lidia was born in Warsaw, Poland to young parents and says alcohol was a big part of the culture. She recalls having her first drink to celebrate her second or third birthday. When she was six, she and her mom immigrated to the US. Her mother worked a lot, which left Lidia to fend for herself a good bit.

During her teen years, Lidia would attend summer camps where it was easy to find older kids to buy her alcohol. The closest relationship she had was with

Throughout the teen years and college, Lidia says she was good at drinking and wore it as a badge of honor. After reaching adulthood, the drinking was a daily occurrence finding any excuse to drink whether at home or out with friends. Alcohol was correlated with fun at this time in her life.

Lidia met her husband when she was 27. They were both members of a rock-climbing community and became climbing partners. It wasn't long after meeting that they ended up married and having their daughter. This was the first time that her relationship with alcohol was threatened because she felt they needed to be more responsible with a child.

Lidia used alcohol to cope with postpartum depression. The first red flag first showed when she realized she was drinking and driving with her daughter. Lidia didn't know much about recovery or how to support herself through it, so she was full of shame and guilt. Eventually she told her husband and ended up enrolling in an IOP, attending AA and got sober for four years.

Because Lidia had quit for her daughter and not herself, she began to have resentments and felt like she wasn't having any fun. Since she related fun with alcohol, she went back to drinking. It was then that others were watching her and she assured them she was fine. Lidia began trying to hide her drinking because she didn't want to feel the judgment.

Last summer, Lidia was told by her husband that she would lose her family if she continued drinking like she was. They chose a quit date of September 1st and for motivation, Lidia registered for an RE trip to Costa Rica which was five months away.

The first 30 days went well for Lidia. The pink cloud arrived and she started feeling better physically. Month two found her crashing a bit and she began learning how to slow down. Going forward, Lidia is looking forward to spending more time with her daughter and the Girl Scout troop, getting involved in the local community theater and celebrating all of her wins, big and small.

Recovery Elevator

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We can do this.

I love you guys.

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Today we have Harvey. He is 71 years old, lives in Fort Myers, FL and took his last drink on January 18th, 2026.

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Registration for our annual Bozeman retreat begins on Wednesday April 1st. This event takes place August 12th-16th. This retreat is all about fun, laughter, smiles and silent disco. We didn't quit drinking to not have fun! Musical guest Uprise will be back and it's going to be another awesome year.

[03:54] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares with us and excerpt from Shannon Alder regarding sensitive people. See if this rings true for you:

"Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won't tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end the friendship. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing and the ones that often become activists for the broken-hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved."

Would you consider yourself a sensitive person? It isn't a bad thing at all, because you feel. And look out, it's the sober, sensitive person through their healing that heals others. That's the work we are doing here.

[08:01] Paul introduces Harvey:

Harvey is originally from Brooklyn but has lived many other places and currently spends his time between Virginia Beach and Fort Myers, FL. Harvey met his wife in 1980, and they have been married over 40 years. He works part time for CNN audio and just celebrated his 71st birthday.

Harvey took his first drink when he was 16 and says it wasn't the "a-ha" moment that many others have had. In college, weed was Harvey's drug of choice until it stopped working for him. He was able to quit easily but alcohol proved to be different.

In 1987 after a move to LA, Harvey and his wife got into the wine culture. It wasn't until two years later that he began to question his drinking and realizing he often woke up not feeling well. This began a tradition of Dry January where Harvey and his wife would quit drinking to let their bodies heal but never because they thought they were alcoholics.

In 2011 Harvey had his first turning point in his drinking. He was apparently hiding his drinking from his wife. When she confronted him with the empties he was hiding, he decided to go to an addiction counselor. They recommended AA and Harvey attended daily until he attempted to work the steps. The Higher Power aspect soured him.

Harvey went back out for more field research. Over time his wife was growing tired of his drinking and he eventually decided in 2024 to get back into recovery and discovered Recovery Elevator and Café RE when seeking alternatives to AA. He says he jumped right into the community and hasn't left.

Going forward Harvey is doing this for him and not just for his family. There have been a few difficult bouts of field research, but Harvey is committed to continuing his recovery. He acknowledges that he is coming to the acceptance phase of his grieving of alcohol. Harvey is exploring new hobbies, specifically music. He intends to continue going to Café RE chats, walking and being open to more opportunities to have fun.

Harvey's parting piece of guidance: don't put it off till next month or to Monday. If you've made the decision that you want to quit, do it immediately.

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down; we've got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

I love you guys.

Café RE

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Today we have Butch. He is 49 years old and is from Indianapolis, IN and took his last drink on November 1st, 2025.

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[02:33] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares and excerpt from an interview with Steve-O, who has 17 years of sobriety.

Steve-O said the worst thing would be to kinda have alcoholism. To kinda have a drinking problem. Because kinda is where people live for 20 years. Kinda is how you blow your 40s. Kinda is how you show up halfway to everything that matters. For your kids, your marriage, your job, your actual life. And then wonder why nothing ever feels real.

And while you're busy deciding whether it's really that bad, the years are passing by. The other side of what Steve-O is saying – he isn't just describing a trap, he's describing a clear escape plan. By being here, you have already made the call. Maybe it's still messy and maybe it's still early and maybe some days you're not sure what you're doing. But you are here fully.

We are done with "kinda". You've made a decision, now don't question that decision. The years that are left are yours, listeners. Now you can show up for them.

[07:31] Paul introduces Butch:

Butch is 49 and lives in Indianapolis with his wife and their cat named Ezra. For fun he is learning to play the bass guitar and recently started blogging.

Butch says he had his first drink in high school and found it helped him cut loose, relax, be funny and he really enjoyed it. His drinking was mostly off and on until he and his girlfriend were out on their own in his early 20s and nobody other than his wife knew he was drinking so much. He had responsibilities but struggled to hold down a job. After about a year and a half, Butch was able to reel it in to just binge drinking on weekends.

Over time Butch was spending more and more time drinking by himself in his basement and not having the energy to do much the next day. He would then try and tell himself it would only be one or two drinks, but that never happened. It wasn't until his early 40s that he started to question if he had a problem. His wife at the time wasn't very supportive of him when he asked for support with his attempt to take a break from alcohol, so he continued to drink.

Soon after this marriage ended, Butch got remarried in 2022. A few weeks later he quit drinking for seven months and says he felt great physically and mentally. It was a trip to Vegas on his birthday that he found himself drinking again. Butch says he moderated while on the trip, but after coming back he found himself slowly drinking more and more even though his wife wouldn't allow him to isolate like before. Eventually Butch started feeling the anxiety coming back and just wasn't feeling good about his drinking. He is approaching 50 years old, has anxiety and physical pain and was just ready to stop.

Around his recent sobriety date, Butch burned the ships with his family and friends. They have all been very supportive of him. He woke up the morning of November 1st and was ready to give it another try. Within the first few weeks he started exercising and eating better, he and his wife would go for walks and go to bed early. He was feeling great again.

Butch never spend much time at church before being married to his current wife so they have been going regularly. Prayer and AA has been helpful to Butch. He has no plans of drinking again but knows it's "one day at a time". Some of the resource and recovery tools that Butch uses are podcasts, books and has recently started blogging in the health and wellness space but there is a lot of crossovers with his recovery. Butch is off of anti-anxiety medications, looks forward to travelling more, learning to play his bass guitar and hopes to get a car to work on soon to keep himself busy.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you've got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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Today we have Jan. She is 75 years old from Winchester, VA and took her last drink on February 1st, 2021.

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Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.

**TRIGGER WARNING** this episode references firearms and sexual assault

[02:48] Thoughts from Paul:

A common phrase in the recovery space is "protect your energy". Paul feels it is a solid idea and tries to practice it as well. His goal in life had always been to bring people together and it has been a major pain point for him to see the current administration purposely trying to separate or divide Americans.

Paul tries to focus on what he can control and turn everything else – especially the news. He shares a story about a recent visit to his parents' house where the news was on and he couldn't find the remote to turn it off.

Paull mentions all of this to remind us of what RE stands for, which is community, connection, inclusivity and love. Many of the things going on in our country go completely against our mission so we have to protect our energy and turn that stuff off, and you should too.

[07:49] Paul introduces Jan:

Jan currently lives in Winchester, VA, she is divorced, has one adult son named Sam and a 14-year-old Pekingese. For fun Jan enjoys walking, hiking, being outside and dancing.

Jan started drinking when she was 19 and attending school in Europe. She reflects that she spent time with the wildest group where they did a lot of drugs and drank. When she returned to the US, she attended the University of Arizona and did a lot of traveling back in forth to Mexico and eventually ended up in Puerto Vallarta. Jan says she always gravitated to the people she shouldn't have.

Bad things began happening to Jan due to her drug and alcohol use. She found herself in a lot of scary situations that eventually led to her depression and desire to move back to the US. Jan began to attend AA and was able to maintain four years of sobriety about fifteen years ago but started drinking again.

There was no rock-bottom moment leading up Jan's quit date in 2021, but she was tired of the mental obsession with alcohol. She tried naltrexone and The Sinclair Method, Antabuse and discovered Café RE after a friend of her son suggested it. She quit drinking right around the same time she joined.

Over the years prior to quitting drinking, Jan had been misdiagnosed with different mental health disorders. Since she has quit, she no longer needs the meds they believed she did. Jan says she sees things more clearly and enjoys photography now. Her love of nature has increased. The connection piece in recovery has also been very important to Jan, and she enjoys hosting some of the chats within Café RE. She stresses that we can't do this alone and having community is vital to recovery.

One of Jan's favorite recovery quotes is that it's a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober. Some of her advice for those new in recovery is to get involved with community, listen to podcasts, read quit lit and attend meetups.

Recovery Elevator

Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

Love thy neighbor.

I love you guys.

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Today we have Kendra. She is 38 years old from Central Minnesota and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.

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Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.

Recovery Elevator's first ever Sober Ukelele Retreat will be November 7th-14th, 2026. Registration opens May 1st.

[03:42] Thoughts from Paul:

Today Paul unwraps the reason that we drink. It isn't because alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet or because you like the taste of wood, hops or earthy floral notes. For millions of years, humans evolved with the expectation of a loving and accepting community to be surrounding us at all times. In the modern world we are ripped away from this and are expected to be okay by ourselves.

The opposite of addiction is connection, and we've never been more disconnected as a species.

Be kind to yourself, this is not your fault. The pain that something was missing landed in your biology likely before you said your first word. This is why we all carry so much shame when something is missing or wrong we internalize it as if we are the problem and we are bad. Again, this is not your fault. But it is tasked to you, us, we to course correct – and we are.

[08:25] Paul introduces Kendra:

Kendra was previously interviewed on episode 501. She is 38 years old and has one 19-year-old daughter. She is a nephrology practice nurse and for fun she likes to cook, walk, bike, cycle and rollerblade.

Kendra never drank in high school and was an overachiever. She had great grades and played hockey. Kendra had her daughter when she was 19 so was unable to further her hockey career into college. Her daughter was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at six days old and Kendra says that forced her to grow up quickly.

Kendra had her first drink at age 21 and while she got very sick, she loved the relief that it gave her. Drinking helped her cope with the "what the hell am I doing in life" feelings and was an outlet for her stress of raising her daughter.

In 2008, Kendra got into a relationship and they drank regularly. He was able to moderate whereas Kendra was not. It was a balancing act keeping up with her party girl persona, raising her daughter and going to school to establish a career for herself.

After her divorce in 2018, she wasn't around alcohol as much but still struggled with the off switch. When the hangovers started affecting her day-to-day life, she realized she had an issue. Kendra says she was capable of managing her drinking for a time as she was building a successful life for herself but would still binge drink on weekends when she had the opportunity.

In 2023, while attempting moderation, Kendra concluded that alcohol wasn't fostering any positivity in her life. She knew she needed to quit. She had already been tracking her sobriety streaks and would get upset with herself when she broke them. She found the app I Am Sober helpful to keep track her streaks and feel like she was making progress.

Having already been reading quit lit and listening the RE podcast, she was priming herself to finally move on from alcohol. After her last drink, Kendra began focusing on rest, meditation, breathwork and doing a lot of walking and listening to podcasts about recovery, health and longevity. Since quitting, Kendra has found mental clarity, less anxiety and her meditation practice helps keep her centered.

Recovery Elevator

This isn't a no to alcohol

But a yes to a better life

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