Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.

[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:

About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.

Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It’s not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it’s always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.

Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn’t ask this question about any other substance either.

It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.

[07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:

Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.

Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn’t participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.

After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn’t look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn’t see a way out.

In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that’s when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.

Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device

If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!

Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:40] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.

Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.

In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.

There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you.

[10:01] Paul introduces Dave:

Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master’s degree in clinical counseling.

Alcohol was present in Dave’s life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn’t become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.

In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn’t have many local friends at the time.

Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.

A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn’t clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.

Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.

Dave’s parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.

Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to [email protected].

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

You can do this.

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Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:

At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.

Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.

Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.

So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.

[06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:

Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.

Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn’t have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.

Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn’t look like the author’s, Kathy decided it wasn’t bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.

When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn’t drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.

After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.

Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

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Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8th, 2023.

In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

[03:19] Thoughts from Paul:

Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives.

But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it’s like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it’s the most dangerous drug on the planet, it’s flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still.

Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning.

[08:24] Paul introduces Nick:

Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well.

Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The “work hard, play hard” mentality ran strong even after college.

Nick met his wife on a flight and soon after they began a long-distance relationship. Around this time Nick says his drinking was causing some negative behavior and people were noticing. A comment from his dad had Nick feeling some embarrassment so he started trying to moderate his drinking by limiting his consumption while socializing but drinking more at home alone.

After attempting to moderate with the use of an app, Nick found himself drinking more in secret. He and his wife would have conversations about it, but he wasn’t ready to quit. Nick was hiding bottles of alcohol throughout the house and drinking daily and going out less, so it wasn’t as obvious to others that he had an issue. It was a constant battle in his mind.

One afternoon, Nick drove with his wife to pick up their daughter from preschool. When he came out of the school, his wife had taken the driver’s seat. He had driven to the school drunk, and she decided enough was enough. She took them to the police station and had him arrested. When he came by the house the next day he expected her to kick him out but instead she hugged him and shared she just wanted him to get better.

Nick was able to stay sober for three months, but wasn’t doing it for himself so it didn’t stick. His drinking ended up worse than ever after that until he finally hit rock bottom. He wasn’t doing well physically or mentally at this point. He woke one morning and decided to go to treatment that week.

Nick threw himself into treatment and experimented with several modalities. In the past he was resistant to AA but now embraces it as an abundant resource and enjoys the community. Nick’s health has greatly improved, and he has been able to get off of all medications in addition to ditching the booze. Fitness is his medicine now, Nick says.

Nick’s parting piece of guidance: You can do it. Do it for yourself, don’t do it for someone else.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

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Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves

Today we have Ashley. She’s 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22nd, 2024.

Sponsor for this episode:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.

Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica.

[03:17] Thoughts from Paul:

Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good’ evolves. An ending is a sign that you’re opening a new chapter.”

There’s a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn’t evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time.

Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it’s already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You’re probably way further down this journey than you think.

[07:30] Paul introduces Ashley:

Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025.

Ashley says she didn’t really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit.

After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn’t want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and was working at a brewery where she and other coworkers would take drinking breaks while on their shift. Over time she recognized she was drinking too much and tried to moderate at least at work.

Ashley began to recognize that she didn’t like that she was becoming very cynical while at this job. She talked to her partner about it, and he encouraged her to leave the job since it was affecting her so negatively. Ashley took the time off after quitting to do whatever she wanted and saw her drinking increase. She would hide her bottles so her partner wouldn’t see how much she was actually drinking.

On the day of her last drink, Ashley and her partner had gone out and bar hopped. Ashley ended up blacking out and when she woke up, her partner was gone. She could not remember most of the night before and wasn’t sure  what was going to happen next but knew she could no longer drink.

Ashley says the first two days were full of anxiety, but she just focused on one day at a time. She distracted herself with movies and video games. At therapy that week, she shared where she was with alcohol for the first time. Her therapist recommended the I Am Sober app which Ashley found very helpful. The cravings have decreased over the last few months and when they do happen, she plays the tape forward. Since quitting Ashley says her depression and anxiety has reduced dramatically. She has more energy, and her routines have become more consistent. Ashley is happy to find she can still socialize even without alcohol.

Ashley’s parting piece of guidance: it is important for you to look inside yourself and see if it’s actually something you want to do or if you’re afraid to do it, maybe look into why you’re afraid to do it.

Recovery Elevator

Rule 22, let’s lighten up, not take ourselves too seriously.

I love you guys. We can do this.

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Episode 517 – Protect Your Sobriety Like it’s Your Kid

Today we have Cindy. She is 36 years old, lives in Los Angeles, CA and took her last drink on December 31st, 2023.

Sponsor for this episode:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.

This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.

[03:11 Thoughts from Paul:

A member of Café RE shared that their therapist told them to protect their own sobriety like it was one of their own children, especially in the delicate stages at the beginning. Everything good that comes your way in life will be anchored to your sobriety.

This seed, that perhaps today is tender, raw and vulnerable, can grow up to provide shade for others. This seed that you are nurturing will provide life, care and love to others in the very near future. This may seem like a lot of pressure, but here’s the cool thing: we are not worried about watering the seed tomorrow, we’re taking it one day at a time. That’s it.

Listeners, thank you for being here, together we are infinitely stronger.

[06:40] Paul introduces Cindy:

Cindy is 36 years old and lives outside the city of LA. She works in a hospital and has been with her husband for 13 years. They have a cat named Murphy.

Cindy recalls her first real experience with alcohol was when she was 14 or 15. Her friend knew someone who was visiting, and they had a hotel room. While there she drank a whole glass of vodka straight because she didn’t know how to drink. The night was a disaster, Cindy says. From that point on Cindy says she never had an off switch.

After high school Cindy started working and taking classes at a community college. She discovered the party scene, had a fake ID and knew people that could get her into clubs. When she was 20, Cindy first voiced her thoughts that she had a problem with alcohol. Her friend reassured her that they were young and that’s what young people do.

After meeting her husband, they bonded over going out to new restaurants and bars together. Cindy says her drinking calmed down a bit because she had someone to help her rein it in. The moderation attempts started at this point in time.

In 2017, Cindy fell into a deep depression. She says nothing specific triggered it, but says alcohol had a lot to do with it. One evening she called the suicide hotline just to talk to someone and came to realize it was time for some therapy. Her current therapist is the first person she told about her alcohol problem since she was 20. She says talk therapy is helpful for seeing a different perspective.

Before quitting drinking, Cindy’s schooling required her to attend different meetings. She says it was an eye-opening experience. Soon after, Cindy committed to Dry January. She looks back at the first 30 days and uses it as motivation to keep going. Her advice to people that are currently doing Dry January is to play the tape forward and consider what it might look like if they drink again.

Cindy says her anxiety has decreased and she has learned to be kinder to herself. She tries to just take one task at a time and ask, “what things do I need to take care of today?” Focusing on the present moment and meditation has helped her a lot in addition to therapy and time at the beach.

Cindy’s parting piece of guidance: if you have an inkling that anything is an issue, listen to that voice – your gut instinct is telling you something.

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.

I love you guys.

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Episode 516 – The Source of Pain

Today we have Hattie. She is 34 years old from South London, UK, and she took her last drink on April 25th, 2021.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

Sober Link - get a promo code for $50 off of the device.

Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys.

Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.

[03:57] Thoughts from Paul:

Ask the Magic 8 Ball “is alcohol the primary source of my pain?” and the responses will be “it is certain” “it is decidedly so” “without a doubt” and “yes, definitely”.

Of course, alcohol is causing the pain. It’s the most destructive and addictive substance on the planet and for some strange reason it’s still in our face daily with advertising everywhere.

You want to start viewing alcohol similarly to how you would look at a moldy, half-eaten hoagie sandwich on a park bench: you wouldn’t touch that sandwich, let alone eat it. The tricky part is that our addiction lies to us in our own voice and do it’s best to convince you that alcohol is the source of relief rather than pain. Which it can be at first, but inevitably that doesn’t last long.

But your life is not over when you quit drinking. A better chapter is just beginning.

[09:24] Paul introduces Hattie:

Hattie grew up in a place called New Forest where there are wild ponies and pigs. She now lives in London with her husband and two young children. Hattie works in sustainability and also has set up Sober Happy Free on Instagram and TikTok sharing her story around sobriety.

Hattie says she took her first drink at 14. Her alcohol seeking behavior began quickly thereafter. She says alcohol helped her with confidence and feeling comfortable with herself. Drinking was more of a need than a want, she says. She says at this age it was easy to consider the drinking normal but knew that drinking alone or secretly would be a problem.

When Hattie was around 26, she was introduced to cocaine which allowed her to drink more and drink longer. Hattie says she did not have any authentic connections with people at this time. There was not a corner of her life that alcohol didn’t touch.

Even once getting pregnant, which she and her husband were trying to do, she looked at the test and wondered “how on earth am I not going to drink?” Hattie made it through the pregnancy but was drinking as soon as she could after and says she was right back where she started.

Seeing a lot of people talking about Dry January online inspired Hattie to give it a try. She continued after the month ended, but never planned to quit entirely and was planning dates that she would allow herself to drink. Hattie got a sobriety coach and ended up not drinking for four months. The day that she decided to have a drink, she found herself on the phone with a friend who was in AA saying she couldn’t do it anymore.

Hattie joined AA and found community. She still stays involved in it now at over three years sober. She has a sponsor, and they worked through the 12 steps together. Hattie’s advice around AA is to go into it with an open mind.

For Hattie, year one was about changing her lifestyle. Year two was more about discovery as she tried new hobbies and experiences. Hattie says year three has been about giving back to the community by way of chairing meetings and starting her sober social media accounts. She is passionate about breaking the stigma of alcohol abuse.

Hattie’s parting piece of guidance:  If alcohol is dominating your life or playing a negative role in it, the best thing you can do is get sober.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you’ve gotta take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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Episode 515 – The Joys of Detox

Today we have Patrick. He’s 43 years old from Montreal, Quebec and took his last drink on November 11th, 2024.

Join Recovery Elevator for our Restore Dry January course. This is our most intensive course, and it’s all about accountability. This is the best setup we’ve had yet for this course as participants get access to all of Café RE, including the chats and the community when they sign up for the course.

Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys. Registration for this event opens December 30th at 8AM EST.

AG1 – offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up

[3:58] Thoughts from Paul:

**DISCLAIMER** alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox rom. Listen to your body and seek medical attention if you think you need to.

It doesn’t matter what you’re eliminating from your diet, the body does not like change. Studies have shown that when we take that first step forward in making change, the body can and will create chemicals of discomfort to pull you back into your comfort zone.

Part of the withdrawal from alcohol is your dopamine center learning how to create it’s own dopamine again, but much of this discomfort is your body rebuking any change whatsoever. Yes, there will be some discomfort but after doing Recovery Elevator for ten years, Paul says that not one person he has met has regretted there decision to quit drinking. It’s a one-way street once you begin to feel and see the benefits.

[7:57] Paul introduces Patrick:

Patrick is 43 years old and lives in Montreal, Quebec. He works in the administrative field at a hospital, and he enjoys running (5k every day), spending time with his friends and watching TV.

Patrick says he was born prematurely and wants to share that Fetal Alcohol Disorder exists. Both of his parents were alcoholics, and he had to parent them early in his life. At the age of 13, Patrick became responsible for his mother’s care when she was diagnosed with Korsakoff Syndrome. He tried to help get her sober, but she was unable to and she ended up passing when she was 42 and Patrick was 16.

Patrick says that while in school he drank mainly on the weekends with friends. After school he moved to Montreal and says that drinking was glorified in his community. This continued until his mid thirties when he met someone and fell in love. His drinking stopped without him noticing.

Their relationship changed when his partner decided to move to the US. They ended the romantic relationship but remained close friends. Not long after COVID hit, Patrick and his friend were talking on the phone, and his friend told him that he was struggling with addiction. Patrick was planning to meet up with him and talk about their common issues, but unfortunately his friend passed away from an overdose.

Not being able to have any closure after his friends passing, Patrick’s drinking picked up from functional to full time. He started to recognize his mother in himself and decided to quit drinking cold turkey. This lasted for several months but then he landed back where he was.

This November Patrick quit again and says this time he feels more stable. He has sought assistance from doctors and attends 12 step meetings along with mediation and running. He realizes that one drink is not an option. In order to reinforce the plan to stay sober, Patrick meditates and has learned to say “no” to events that will challenge his sobriety, he is avoiding places where he used to purchase alcohol, he has friends he can call on and he does at least seven meetings each week.

Patrick’s parting piece of guidance: listen to your inner voice. Give 12 step meetings a try. Have an open mind and listen. You’ll learn about others and most importantly, you learn about yourself.

Recovery Elevator

Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home.

I love you guys.

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Episode 514 – A Drinking Problem is Totally Normal

Today we have Erin. She is 50 years old from Denver, CO and took her last drink on August 21st, 2023.

Registration for Dry January is now open. This is our most intensive course, and it’s all about accountability. If you’ve been trying to quit drinking and haven’t found success, it’s most likely you’re not surrounded by the right people or don’t have community. Over 70% of our Restore Dry January participants report making it through January without taking a drink.

Café RE is the social app for sober people. We meet over 30 times a month online with our daily chats covering all different topics or specialty chats. If you’re looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we’d love to have you.

[02:48] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul’s opinion is that a drinking problem is a normal response to living in a culture that has completely lost its marbles. Most anthropologists believe that addiction is a modern phenomenon that stems from how we are living as a culture.

Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth says that what we have labeled as “normal” regarding our culture is actually completely insane.

Gabor Mate recently wrote The Myth of Normal about how our culture is toxic and right for addiction. According to Dr. Mate, addiction isn’t a disease but a completely normal response to living in a fucked-up world.

Your drinking problem is not your fault. It is a response to a fractured world. You found a solution, a way to cope and it worked for a while. As Laura McKowen says, “it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility”.

Listening to a sobriety podcast is part of you taking that responsibility.

[08:08] Paul introduces Erin:

Erin is 50 years old and divides her time between Colorado and Costa Rica. She has been married for 26 years and they have three college age children. Erin has a yoga business where she films YouTube videos, hosts retreats and does yoga teacher training.

Erin says her drinking was “normal” throughout high school and college. After graduating from college, she and her boyfriend moved to Maui and had jobs in the restaurant industry. She still feels her drinking was normal compared to her friends and lifestyle.

They soon moved back to Colorado, got married and started a family. Erin didn’t drink throughout her pregnancies and didn’t feel she was missing out initially. After moving into a neighborhood with other young families like there, drinking became a social activity, and Erin began to recognize she drank more and had a higher tolerance than others.

In her mid-forties, Erin started going through perimenopause and it was hard on her. She began using alcohol to self-medicate. Because of her job, she felt she was living out of alignment with her values. In spite of her drinking being a huge topic with her therapist, she was not ready to seek treatment. She attempted to quit on her own and says she white knuckled for five months before going back to drinking, quickly back to where she was before quitting.

When her husband and her friends tried to intervene, she was angry. They had already arranged everything, and Erin ended up going to rehab and in spite of her fear, ended up being a great experience.

Erin says they focused on healing the whole person, and once she realized for the first time that she was not alone, she felt the shame and fear lift. It was a small community, and they participated in a lot of modalities for healing. The education was a helpful part of the process.

Erin dove into books, podcasts, attended AA meetings, and joined Café RE which she considers her primary resource. Erin says her yoga practice has contributed to her healing.

Erin’s parting piece of guidance: If you are thinking you can’t do it, you can. It’s possible and worth every single second of pain.

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Episode 513 - 10 Things to do Daily

Today we have Forrest. He is 31 years old from Atlanta, GA and took his last drink on March 14th, 2022.

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[03:38] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares a list of recommendations of little things to dry and do daily. The best way to make change in your life is with small, intentional steps towards your goal.

1)    Water – at least once per day, drink as much water as you can. Dehydration causes a lot of our fatigue later in the day.

2)    Meditation – for a few minutes each day, turn your gaze inward.

3)    Posture – stand up, pull your shoulders back, arch your back, look to the sky and hold it for 30 seconds.

4)    Fuel – make a point to eat one healthy item daily and be conscious about it.

5)    Movement – five minutes of light to moderate movement each day.

6)    Nothing – literally, do nothing. Start slow with as little as one minute.

7)    Play – try new hobbies or rediscover old ones.

8)    Learn and grow – read a book or watch a YouTube video about something that interests you.

9)    Connect with another human being – Ideally one you can be yourself around.

10)  Make someone else’s life better - A tremendous amount of happiness will come to you when you help someone else out.

[10:28] Paul introduces Forrest:

Forrest grew up in a household where alcohol was present, but he was never exposed to overindulgence. He also had little interest in trying it and says he didn’t have his first drink until late freshman year of college where it was a beer pong situation. Forrest says his drinking during college looked very normal.

After graduating, Forrest found himself with a corporate job and the happy hours that came with it. Between the happy hours several days of the week and the shenanigans he pursued with his other friends in their early twenties, Forrest started to notice his alcohol consumption increase. After a few occasions of questioning himself about the previous nights, a voice told him that he wasn’t ready to quit, but he definitely needed to start moderating.

After attempting moderation for a while, Forrest determined it was not helping. The process of quitting started for Forrest when he joined a health challenge with a friend. It wasn’t long into the challenge when he started noticing some benefits but returned to his old habits after 45 days and ended up back where he was when he began. Forrest began to negotiate with himself that after his birthday, he would try to go alcohol free again. It was March when he looked at himself and realized he needed to quit for at least a year.

Forrest started reading a lot of quit lit and listening to podcasts. Learning the science behind alcohol use disorder was very helpful for Forrest. Within the first year of quitting drinking, Forrest lost 60 pounds and was seeing many other positive changes in his body. He started finding physical activity easier and began to enjoy it again.

Forrest’s parting piece of guidance: if there is something in your mind that gives you an inkling that you need to question your alcohol consumption habits, there is nothing wrong with seeking knowledge, doing research, and you might come across a journey that you didn’t necessarily know was in your future.

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You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

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We are doing this.

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