Today we have Odette. She’s 37 years old, lives in San Diego, CA and she took her last drink 486 days ago.

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Registration is open for our next retreat in Costa Rica. That’s February 21st – 28th, 2026 in Guanacaste, a Blue Zone. We are over halfway full, but we have seven spots left.

[03:09] Thoughts from Paul:

When 17 people send Paul an article in the span of 2-3 days, he knows it means something big just came out… and this one is big because it disarms one of the biggest reasons why it’s so hard to quit drinking: everyone else is drinking. Which is no longer true. Several publication released this article and here’s the link for the CBS article.

It says - only 54% of U.S. adults say they drink alcohol, a record low.

There is a growing belief that even moderate alcohol consumption is a health risk which is 100% correct. In 2015 28% of Americans though this but now in 2025, that percentage has almost doubled to 53%.

While mostly younger Americans are driving this trend, but older Americans are getting on board as well and the alcohol industry is tanking. Paul says that he can’t help but feel that we all have had a part in this. That we, including you, the listener, have saved lives by doing our part getting the proper messaging out about alcohol, and people are listening.

So, you’re not the only one who doesn’t drink. Paul doesn’t drink, Odette doesn’t drink and 46% of Americans don’t drink either.

[07:57] Paul introduces Odette:

In addition to being interviewed on episodes 128 and 231, Odette was the podcast host from episode 277 to 378.

Odette is from Guadalajara, Mexico but has been living in San Diego, CA with her husband, two kids and a variety of pets. She works in operations for a company called Chosen Foods. Around a year ago, she began teaching breathwork as well. For fun, she and her family enjoy being outside, especially at the beach.

Odette shares that addiction runs in her family, her father, who recently hit 16 years sober, went into rehab when Odette was 18. At the time she was struggling with an eating disorder and clinical depression. She never expected alcohol to be a problem for her.

Odette moved to the US with her husband after she graduated college. She kept her eating, and depression issues a secret for about a year after they got married but ended up going into treatment for it because she knew she needed to be healthy in order to have kids.

After having their first child, Odette says that she fell into the “mommy wine culture” pretty quickly. Playdates included toys for the kids and wine for the moms. Over time she began to look forward to drinking but there was always a knowing that this wasn’t her authentic self, she says. The drinking helped her feel like she fit in.

The drinking and her eating disorder didn’t play well together. She found the lines getting blurry and she wasn’t listening to her body as well as before. Since she didn’t drink much, she wasn’t sure she really had a problem, but it was all taking a toll mentally.

During the time Odette was hosting the RE podcast, her grandmother got sick. She lives far from her family and the uncertainty of the situation and pain of not being there was too much for her. Even with all of her tools, Odette found herself relapsing. She struggled with the shame of it and felt a little lost but leaning into the community and learning how to accept herself has been important to getting her footing back.

Odette says recovery isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about accepting all of the things that you are.  Breathwork has been helpful for Odette to learn how to get back in touch with her body and be present.

The Harmony House

Odette Cressler

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Café RE

Today we have Justin. He is 40 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. He took his last drink on August 20th, 2023.

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[04:03] Thoughts from Paul:

In our question for sobriety, we often ask ourselves why the drinking? Why can’t I stop? What’s the problem here? 

Paul shares his experience with the 12 Steps of AA, more specifically, step 4 where you list all of your resentments. He filled an entire notebook for his fourth step and after reading this out loud to his sponsor, it became clear to him that he was at least 50% of every problem that he encountered or had been part of. The fourth step showed him the patterns, and the data was clear – he was the problem. The same is true for all of us.

It turns out, in a non-shaming way, you are the problem, and you are not the solution. This should be empowering because if you are the problem, you’re the only thing you can control. The solution is not a one and done thing. The big one here is to burn the ships and to start building community.

We used alcohol to numb the pains of living in a super challenging world, and the solution is that we have to find a better way to respond to the world and we have to come together to make this happen.

[08:39] Paul introduces Justin:

Justin is from Northern Ontario, has been married for 14 years and they have two dogs and cat. Formerly an electrician, Justin is now a part-time day trader. He enjoys hiking, yoga and meditation. Justin and his wife Danielle quit drinking together just over two years ago.

Justin had his first drink at age 15 with some friends. He didn’t see the point in drinking at first but was happy to have friends to drink with. Over time he not only enjoyed spending time with friends he also began to enjoy the drinking too.

At 18, Justin had a job with a sound and lighting company, and they would do a lot of concerts. He reflects that the amount of booze that was around and available to him for free was insane. Within the next two years he developed a habit of drinking 10 to 20 beers a day. In addition to the drinking, Justin had developed an addiction to harder drugs.

When Justin was around age 23, he quit the job and doing hard drugs but used alcohol to help him. This contributed to his intake increasing and he was still drinking daily. Because he wasn’t doing hard drugs anymore, he thought it was ok, and he was living clean. After Justin’s third DUI charge in 2015, he begins to realize that he might have a problem. He quit for five days and decided he didn’t have a problem, so he went back to drinking.

Living in a small town where many people drank more than them, Justin and Danielle had the illusion that they “weren’t that bad”. They enjoyed drinking together most of the time, but when they began fighting more often, they acknowledged that there might be an issue. They began trying moderation techniques, but eventually knew they just needed to stop altogether.

They drank one last time after losing their horse and Justin says he had the worst hangover the next day. They both had already been listening to the RE podcast and had joined Café RE. Justin is grateful to being doing this with his partner and they find strength in one another.

Justin was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, so they are planning a big move back to Southern Ontario to be closer to family. Being sober for these life changes is a gift, Justin says. When asked what his mantra has been for the last few months Justin says “go with the flow, keep on truckin’, be like water. You can’t fight life. Life is just going to push you as it pushes you and generally, you’ll get what you need”.

Justin’s parting piece of guidance: the only way out is through. You gotta go through it to move out of it.

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Today we have Amy. She is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC. She took her last drink on December 12th, 2023.

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October 2026 we have a new retreat we have yet to do. This is an in-person alcohol-free ukulele retreat taking place in Guanacaste, Costa Rica. There will be ukulele instruction in the mornings and Spanish immersion courses in the afternoon.

[02:01] Thoughts from Paul:

Addiction is disconnecting with the self and your fellow humans. More sobriety is connection with the self, your fellow humans and more. “I” equals illness, “we” equals wellness.

Quitting drinking is a perfect circle. Your drinking crisis is an opportunity for someone to help. Phrased with 12 step verbiage, your first step is someone else’s 12th step. And when you find your footing, you can then assist someone else in their drinking crisis.

When the soul is hurting, the healing only happens when you’re not alone. And speaking of being alone, listeners, you are not alone. You are not the only one who struggles with alcohol. You, along with the other listeners, are seeking not only sobriety but seeking a deeper connection with all. Seeking answers that the bottle can’t deliver. You are in the right place.

[07:37] Paul introduces Amy:

Amy is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and a three-year-old son. Amy says she is a theater nerd and does improv comedy for fun. 

Amy grew up in the southwest side of Chicago where she says her father was an alcoholic. She has memories of being a child at AA and Al-Anon meetings with her parents as well as memories of her father taking her to bars when they would tell her mother they were somewhere else.

Amy had her first drink when she was 15 while going to a concert with older teens. There was a bottle passed around the group and they all got drunk. Later that night she was found in the field of the concert venue by paramedics and taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped.

She began to live a double life throughout high school and college. Amy saw that if she got good grades and joined all of the clubs, she would get praise and recognition. On the flip side she would drink very hard, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to get alcohol poisoning. Only after going to grad school in New York was Amy able to calm down a bit.

After COVID, Amy and her husband were doing IVF. Amy says she didn’t drink much at this point, but after having the baby, she suffered from postpartum anxiety which led her to daily drinking as a tool to cope with it. Over time she would begin to try moderation but limiting herself to two drinks was difficult and led to binges.

Amy’s last bender was at a holiday work party. The next day she found herself hungover and asked herself how her drinking was any better than her father’s was when she was younger. She knew that she may be heading down a dangerous path, so Amy decided to call the local AA helpline.

Amy began going to AA meetings and found a sponsor. She shares that her mother was a great support because of her experience with Al-Anon and she understood what Amy was going through.

One of the best things for Amy was burning the ships and gaining accountability. Even after 18 months, Amy admits there is white knuckling at times. She realizes that after 25 years of drinking, it doesn’t all heal within 18 months, but she is grateful to be where she is and says that since getting sober, she hasn’t missed a day of her son’s life.

Amy’s parting piece of guidance: everything that she was looking for while getting drunk can be found in recovery and she found it in Café RE and AA. Take what works and leave the rest.

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Today we have Brian. He is 40 years old from Spring Hill, MA and he took his last drink of alcohol on July 16th, 2024.

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[03:25] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares with us Bill W., the founder of AA once shared letters back and forth with Swiss psychologist Carl Yung looking for feedback on the program he was creating. Perhaps the most important letter from Yung to Bill W. was a letter suggesting a spiritual solution was needed to overcome addiction. He was a firm believer that addiction has nothing to do with weakness but is a misdirected cry for wholeness.

Another viewpoint that Carl Yung gave us is to not ask why you want to quit drinking but what pain you are trying to silence? Or what role is alcohol playing?

When we start asking the right questions and stop fighting the addiction, the healing process begins. If you keep doing your own inner work, the massive ship called your addiction will change course. It takes time to redirect the energy called an addiction, but when we start asking the right questions, it’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of time.

[07:36] Paul introduces Brian:

Brian is 40 years old and lives in Springfield, MA. He has been married 13 years, and they have two children. For fun he enjoys weight training, cooking, and spending time with his kids.

Brian is the oldest of four kids and his parents divorced when he was young. He shares that he internalized a lot of stuff growing up and carried a lot of emotion. Brian wasn’t the kid to act out, but he recalls the first time he drank was when his mother was out of town and he ended up getting very sick. He says it taught him a lesson, and he didn’t party much in high school.

In college, Brian says, alcohol acted like that warm hug that people talk about. It gave him a lot of confidence socially and he became friends with people older than him. Once they started graduating, he lost a lot of the friends he drank with, so he found himself drinking alone occasionally which he didn’t think there was anything wrong with.

After graduation, the job market was tough which had Brian stressed out and he began using alcohol as a coping mechanism. He was drinking daily and ended up getting pancreatitis after a while, which was a bit of a wake up call for him. The drinking didn’t end but Brian began to try and moderate.

Over the years Brian was able to quit for periods of time but would return to drinking to cope with traumatic events. He was working on sobriety, watching YouTube videos, trying naltrexone and listening to podcasts. He was making progress, but COVID came and knocked him down again.

Brian did not want to fall onto the same path that his father had with his alcoholism. Brian had a rock bottom moment when his behavior on a vacation had him showing a negative side of himself to his in-laws.

On the weekend of his wife’s birthday, Brian had a few days sober, and his internal voice was trying to convince him to drink. He turned on the RE podcast while he was mowing the lawn and soon after had made the decision that he was going to quit drinking forever. He then burned the ships and told his wife about his decision.

Since quitting drinking Brian’s health has improved, he has lost 35 pounds and has found a community in Café RE. He is planning on finding more connection locally to him through AA soon.

Brian’s parting piece of guidance: listen to your heart rather than your brain. Follow your instincts.

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Café RE

Today we have Lori. She is 58 years old from Vancouver, Canada. She took her last drink on February 21st, 2024.

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[03:11] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares that his second book, Dolce Vita, is currently in the editing process and should be out by November this year. This was also the name of the bar he owned Spain when he was in his 20’s. The name is Italian for “the good life” which Paul once thought he could find at the bottom of a bottle. He began to notice that his Dolce Vita had an expiration date that would get shorter and shorter over time.

The thing Paul thought was delivering the dolce vita was slowly and methodically destroying any chance of having one. It wasn’t until he finally ditched the booze that the good life actually showed up. He learned that the sweetness wasn’t in escaping life, it was finally showing up for it.

The good life is right here in front of us all, right here in this moment, as long as we stay away from a drink today.

[09:19] Paul introduces Lori:

Lori is 58 years old and lives in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. She has been married for 37 years, and they have two grown children and one grandchild. Lori has been a realtor for 35 years and for fun she enjoys golf and physical fitness. 

Lori shares that she had a great childhood, but her mother was an alcoholic, and it affected her negatively throughout the years. In high school, Lori aspired to be an actress and craved attention. Having an already outgoing personality, it just got bigger when she was drinking and garnered more attention.

Lori had a lot of resentments towards her mother over the years and admits she treated her poorly. They did not make amends before her mother passed, and Lori says that is when her drinking started ramping up. On the outside, everything was going well with her career and her kids, but the weekends revolved around drinking.

Some mornings Lori would wake up depressed, regretful of her actions the night before and be plagued with the “not again” feelings. Lori and her husband would discuss cutting back on drinking and she acknowledges that he only drank as much as he did because of her.

In 2022 Lori was able to quit drinking for 77 days with the help of This Naked Mind and participated in two 30-day alcohol experiments. Then something negative happened and Lori found herself reaching for a glass of wine. Before long she was drinking at any time of day, hiding alcohol in her sock drawer and sneaking shots of moonshine.

After a weekend trip with some friends where Lori could not get the happy buzz that she was looking for from the alcohol, she knew that something had to change. She joined the RE Ukelele course and decided to stick around. With the help and encouragement of some fellow members, she started to believe that maybe she could be alcohol-free.

Lori began going to a lot of chats with Café RE, first with the camera off just taking notes. She began to participate by asking questions and listening. The community has helped Lori find her mantra to hit the pillow sober every night. The first 30 days felt like the calendar was moving backwards, but she kept going.

Lori still stays social with her friends but has recently been feeling like she is at a crossroads. Some events that used to be fun no longer are and she is feeling a shift. The RE community means a lot to her and she is currently seeking more sober connections local to her.

Some of the bright lights in sobriety for Lori are the ability to be heard, being reliable, and she now feels better physically as well as mentally.

Lori’s parting piece of guidance: please decide your “whys” If the cons outweigh the pros, you need to take alcohol out of your life.

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Today we have Rachel. She is 48 years old and lives in Minneapolis, MN. She took her last drink on August 28th, 2018.

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Come join us in beautiful Bozeman, Montana this August 6th – 10th for our annual flagship retreat. We have a few camping spots as well as a few spots left in the men’s cabin.

[02:50] Thoughts from Paul:

Healing can look a bit like a paradox and Paul shares several examples showing this. Tying this same idea into ditching the booze we can say that quitting drinking can make you feel more anxious at first, when it’s actually making you calmer in the long run. Quitting drinking can make you feel more emotional and raw when it’s actually making you more resilient. Sobriety can make you feel bored at first, but it’s actually clearing space for hobbies and adventures that you’ll deeply enjoy.

Healing can hurt at first, but look out, brighter days are just on the horizon. Can you do this? Absolutely. Will there be stumbles, bad days? Without a doubt.

You can do this, you are doing this and you’re further along on your AF journey than you think. Keep moving forward.

[06:30] Paul introduces Rachel:

Rachel is 48 and lives just outside of Minneapolis, MN. She is married and they have three cats. She is a director in financial services and for fun she enjoys reading, writing and attending meet ups with other sober people.

Alcohol was always present when Rachel was growing up. She was an achiever in school and had already completed some college before graduating high school. Drinking was not a focus for her through her school years, and she didn’t start drinking until later in her life.

Around 2008 during the national financial crisis, Rachel says her drinking changed. Being a bond trader during this time was tough due to the uncertainty of the future. Rachel found herself having a drink after work and it became part of habit loop for her: go to work, come home, have a drink.  Over the next 7 to 10 years, that one drink turned into multiple bottles.

Rachel was desperate to figure out how to solve this issue without drinking and tried moderation with no luck. She began reading books like This Naked Mind and listening to podcasts like RE. She felt the stories on the podcast were relatable because they were normal people and not the stereotypical bum under a bridge with the brown paper bag.

After hearing suggestions of trying to quit for 30 days, Rachel decided to try it and has been sober ever since. She says the first three days were hard but within seven days she was sleeping better than she ever had. Rachel began substituting wine with sparkling water and while it was tough at first, it became her new habit. She also joined Café RE and found community there and in AA.

Rachel recently self-published a book called Functional: A High Performer's Guide to Achieving Freedom from Alcohol. She says she wrote a book that she wishes were available to her when she got sober. Many of the books out there have glaring rock bottom moments which Rachel said she didn’t have. She believes that it may sometimes be harder for people without a rock bottom to quit because it isn’t as obvious that they need to.

Rachel’s best advice to somebody that is functional is to just try to quit for 30 days and use it as a time of self-discovery.

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We can do this.

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Today we have Thea. She is 55 years old from Madison, WI and took her last drink on February 10th, 2019

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We have just a couple of cabin spots left for our upcoming retreat in Bozeman, Montana. This retreat is from August 6th through 10th.

Coming in January 2026, our AF Ukelele Course. Registration for that opens in December.

Also coming next year in October 2026, we will have an in-person ukelele retreat where we’re having Spanish instruction in the afternoons. This will be in Costa Rica. More information will be coming soon about that event.

[02:45] Thoughts from Paul:

On the journey into an alcohol-free life, it almost always consists of a chapter where we are trying to control the uncontrollable. But something takes place that we aren’t aware of and that’s that alcohol has become uncontrollable – and we haven’t realized it yet.

You might be asking yourself if your drinking has reached that point and may have searched for a sobriety podcast because there were aspects of your drinking that you were unable to control. The longer you try to control the uncontrollable, the less sanity you are left with.

Paul wants you to ask yourself if you are trying to control the uncontrollable thing. He and many of us have learned that we cannot control our drinking, but the opportunities are endless in what we CAN do without alcohol in our lives, the same can be true for you.

[07:06] Paul introduces Thea:

Thea is 55 years old, grew up in a small town in Wisconsin but now lives in Madison with her husband of almost 30 years, and they have three grown boys. Thea works in education. She loves to cook, bake, read, and attend sporting events.

Thea says she drank a little in high school, but it wasn’t out of control. After going to college where the culture involved binge drinking, Thea drank more. Being someone that didn’t suffer from hangovers, she never looked at her drinking as a problem.

Thea met her husband after college when they married and had three kids. She says she would binge drink occasionally, but not enough to create red flags and her husband can take it or leave it. Thea says she didn’t drink during her pregnancies or drink every night, but as her kids got older and needed her less, she fell into the habit of drinking more.

Thea would drink socially but preferred to drink covertly at home where she could have as much as she wanted. Over time she began to feel like she needed the alcohol to function and was becoming physically addicted to it.

A few years later, some family members had an intervention with Thea. The message she took away was that she needed to hide her drinking better in the future. The following summer, Thea’s sister-in-law called her out on her drinking again, and they went to the ER. It was recommended that she go to a detox center which Thea refused to do. She opted to detox on her own, which is not recommended. After doing that, she enrolled in an IOP but was just going through the motions to try and become a normal drinker again – she had no intention of quitting.

Thea feels she was getting nudges from God to address the issue. It wasn’t until February 10th, 2019, that the message finally got through. Thea was very sick and throwing up blood. She was in and out of the hospital dealing with the symptoms of her failing liver. Thea feels that something finally clicked, and she has not wanted to have a drink since that first day when she went to the hospital.

After two years sober, Thea started listening to podcasts and reading quit lit. She eventually found her way back to AA and it feels like home this time. Thea is very open about her recovery with her family and is grateful they never gave up on her.

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Café RE

Today we have Ronnie. He is 41 years old from Kiowa, CO and took his last drink on June 1st, 2025.

This episode brought to you by:

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[03:17] Thoughts from Paul:

From the cavemen to the ancient Greeks, to modern humans, there’s always an apocalypse on the horizon. The apocalypse outside of us, we can’t control and there has never not been one. The only apocalypse you can control is the one caused by alcohol which is happening inside of you.

Paul reminds us that no matter how fearful the news programs and the politicians want you to be, we’ve never not had an external apocalypse looming and geological record will tell you the same.

Disconnect from all of the news and connect to yourself, others, nature, a ripe mango, a snuggle with a dog because you know what? We’re okay. Get yourself some time away from alcohol and you’re going to be very much okay.

[07:54] Paul introduces Ronnie:

Ronnie is 41 years old, lives in Kiowa, CO with his wife and four children. Ronnie works as a home inspector. For fun, Ronnie enjoys spending time with his kids and spending time outside. His family has 40 acres and a variety of animals which his children show with 4-H.

Ronnie began drinking when he was 17 after discovering that alcohol was a magical elixir that suppressed his inhibitions and insecurities. By the time Ronnie was in college, he was partying regularly. After a few semesters, he had failed out of school, moved back home and began working in construction.

After some time, Ronnie moved to Colorado and began working for a faith-based non-profit organization in addition to being a home inspector on the side. Drinking was something they did not allow their staff to do. This enabled Ronnie to remain mostly sober during that time, only drinking when he was around friends back home.

Ronnie and his wife married in 2011 and moved to Portland, Oregon. He grew accustomed to the culture of going out for cups of coffee, but when they returned to Colorado Ronnie saw that the culture there was going out for beers. This began alcohol creeping back into his life slowly.

When COVID happened, his job with the non-profit ended and Ronnie was home inspecting full time. Ronnie says they lost two and a half streams of income, and it left him depressed and having trouble with night terrors. He started using alcohol to help him sleep. It turned into daily drinking which led Ronnie to start exploring whether or not he had an issue. In the process, he discovered the RE podcast.

Around this time, Ronnie began to try moderation. He was using a sobriety tracker and said he reset it over 20 times before he was able to get a week. After he was able to stay sober for three weeks, he thought he had it under control but before long was back to drinking daily.

On that night of what ended up being Ronnie’s last drink, he awoke to his heart racing and massive anxiety. He told his wife that he thought he had a problem which she said she knew, and instead of being judgmental, she asked what she could do to help. The next day Ronnie learned that his wife had contacted some friends that had dealt with addictions, and they were all ready to help.

Within the first day, Ronnie threw out all of the alcohol in the home. This opened up the conversation with his kids about addictions and healthy ways of coping with emotions. Over the last 12 days, Ronnie has seen his sleep improved. He has realized that alcohol no longer has a place in his or his family’s life.

Ronnie says that every time he tells someone about his addiction, a weight lifts. This motivates him to keep going. He is finding healthy ways to deal with stress and sleep. Exercise, meditation, audiobooks and listening to the RE podcast have been helpful to him on this journey.

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We can do this

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Today we have Marcy. She’s 42 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. Marcy took her last drink on October 15th, 2020.

This episode brought to you by:

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Paul just finished the rough draft of his second book entitled Dolce Vita, The Good Life and expects it to be released this September.

[00:00] Thoughts from Paul:

In a recent article presented on Newsbreak entitled Alcohol is Killing More Americans Today than 20 Years Ago, it shares that mortality from liver disease has increased significantly across most demographic groups in the US from 1999 to 2022. Death from liver disease went from 6.7 to 12.5 deaths per 100,000 people. The annual increase was higher among women than men, and young people showed “concerning trends”. And of course, minority populations are hit hardest.  American Indian and Alaska Native populations, faced the highest death rates. Those increased from about 25 to nearly 47 per 100,000 over the last 20 years.

While this podcast is supposed to be uplifting and positive it also has to be real. The spirit alcohol is claiming more lives than ever.

Remember last week’s episode titled The Quiet Revolution? You are part of the not so anonymous army that solves this... Your quitting drinking is the answer for everyone else who struggles with addiction. You're turning your gaze inward when people in charge are pointing their finger outward. You are the hero.

[00:00] Paul introduces Marcy:

Marcy is 42 years old and lives in Seattle, WA with her partner and their cat. She works at a production company as a creative producer and makes psychedelic music videos in her spare time. For fun, she enjoys the outdoors and says the Pacific Northwest is a beautiful place to be outside.

Marcy says she was a very shy kid with a lot of anxiety. She had her first drink when she was 16 and by 18, she had a fake ID and spent a lot of time in bars and drinking almost daily. Her drinking never looked normal, Marcy says.

Marcy had her first blackout at her bachelorette party in her mid-twenties. Those began to become normal for her which began to concern her. Marcy would tell everyone that she was quitting drinking but was never able to succeed.

Alcohol began to put a strain on Marcy’s marriage. She realized she needed to do something to fix it. She began to attend AA and tried to work the steps but was struggling with being honest with herself and others about her problem and continued to drink.

Marcy and her partner ended up divorcing, which sent her on a downward spiral since she no longer had anyone to be accountable to. After she was robbed one night, her parents talked her into going to inpatient rehab. She was supposed to stay for 30 days but only made it through 11 and decided to attend outpatient rehab instead. Marcy was able to fake her way through the outpatient program while she was still drinking.

From 2016 to 2019, Marcy says she was on a merry-go-round from hell. She would try to change, fail and then beat herself up. She returned to AA, found a sponsor and had a service position that helped her build a new routine. She made it to 30 days sober and then relapsed which sent her back into a cycle that Marcy says was worse than ever.

An extreme rock bottom found Marcy quitting again. After two months without drinking, a friend wanted Marcy to attend a meeting she was speaking at. This led Marcy to return to AA. She threw herself all-in and attended a meeting every day for the next year.

These days life for Marcy is mellow instead of chaotic. She says she has the capacity to explore her creativity, goes to work every day and enjoys yoga regularly. Her tools for dealing with anxiety are breathing and knowing her boundaries and limits.

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You took the elevator down; you’ve got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.      

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Today we have Marisa. She is 50 years old from Fairfax, VA and she took her last drink on March 17th, 2024.

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[03:18] Intro summary:

You may be listening right now and feeling tired. Not just sleepy tired, but soul tired. This kind of tiredness comes from trying to clean up your inner world while the outer world feels like it’s run by toddlers having the world’s most expensive tantrum.

You're choosing consciousness while others choose chaos. You're picking love while others are picking fights. You're building your spiritual muscles while they're flexing bank accounts and crypto wallets.

This is a contradiction that we are living in and it’s hard to be sober, raw, real and authentic in a dysfunctional world. However, the quiet revolution matters. The decision to face our demons instead of drowning them matters. The choice to feel everything instead of nothing matters. You're not just quitting drinking—you're quitting the lie that says we have to be drunk to survive this world.

Keep going. The world needs your consciousness more than it needs another unconscious knee jerk reaction. Ditching the booze and cleaning up your inner world is how we solve this mess.

[07:58] Paul introduces Marisa:

Marisa is 50 years old and lives in Fairfax, VA. She is engaged and has a 12-year-old daughter. She works as a government contractor, enjoys live music, spending time outside, traveling, reading and binge-watching TV.

Marisa says that for her, alcoholism was not a progressive disease. She had her first drink at 12 and the first time she got very drunk was 13 and she loved it. Alcohol assisted her in numbing the pain of abuse that she experienced in her childhood. Marisa has always known alcohol was a problem for her.

Over the next 30 or so years, there were ebbs and flows to Marisa’s drinking. She always had an excuse/reason that she chose to drink like she did. Because she was high functioning, no one really knew about her issues. When she started seeing a therapist in 2022, she told them about her drinking and says a weight was lifted. Marisa met with a substance abuse counselor a few times after that, but didn’t have a good experience and wasn’t ready to try AA again.

Marisa would try to moderate for the next few years but eventually knew something had to change. She told a friend of hers who she knew was in recovery that she had an intention of quitting for 30 days and began to attend AA.

Since quitting, Marisa says that she has never looked back. She knew that drinking was no longer serving her. Remembering the six-week spiral that she went through before quitting helps remind her of who and where she doesn’t want to ever be again.

Marisa knows she needs to stay tethered to her recovery through attending meetings, seeing her sponsor once a week, listening to podcasts and talking with other people in recovery often.  Marisa has gone to therapy for quite a while but wasn’t committed to it when she was drinking. Now she is doing the work and beginning to heal from the traumas that drove her to seek relief with alcohol.

Marisa’s parting piece of guidance: it was difficult to get sober, but it has been amazing and wonderful and easy to stay sober.

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All of this change starts from the inside out.

I love you guys.

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