Sober Awkward

What if the anxiety you think alcohol is helping is actually being made worse by the booze?

Following Monday’s conversation with Millie Gooch about hangxiety, Vic digs into one of the biggest reasons she eventually stopped drinking: panic.

For years, Vic thought alcohol was helping her cope with an anxious brain. It switched everything off for a few hours, gave her confidence and offered a bit of relief from all the noise. Unfortunately, the next day her brain would come back online with the volume turned up to eleven.

In this episode, Vic looks at the science behind alcohol and anxiety, why that lovely relaxed feeling can be followed by dread, racing thoughts and three o’clock in the morning panic, and why stopping drinking doesn’t always make everything feel better straight away. She also reads something she wrote when her own anxiety was at its worst, back when she genuinely believed she might never feel normal again.

But she did.

Eight and a half years later, Vic can look back at that frightened version of herself and tell her something she desperately needed to hear: the way you feel right now is not the way you will feel forever.

So, If anxiety is one of the reasons you drink, the good news is - it could also become one of the biggest reasons you never go back.

Is it time to tune in?

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected] Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts!

Contact Kate at [email protected]

Vic's Books

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking with your heart racing, convinced you’ve embarrassed yourself, upset someone, or somehow ruined your entire life? That awful feeling has a name: hangxiety.

This week, Victoria is joined by Millie Gooch, founder of The Sober Girl Society and author of the brilliant new book, Hangxiety. Together they dive into the reality of hangxiety, what it felt like for both of them as “normal” drinkers, the university drinking culture that taught them it was all just part of growing up, and why so many of us accepted feeling awful as the price of having a good time.

They also explore the science behind alcohol and anxiety, the rise of the sober curious movement, and why giving up alcohol can be one of the kindest things you ever do for your mental health.

Trigger warning: This episode includes a discussion about self-harm, which some listeners may find distressing.

And finally, Vic and Millie tackle one of the biggest myths about sobriety: that life becomes boring. They chat about why the sober community can sometimes feel a little bit like a cult… except nobody’s making any money, nobody’s trying to recruit you, and definitely nobody’s having sex. It’s simply a group of people discovering that life can be surprisingly brilliant without alcohol.

TikTok: @milliegooch / @sobergirlsociety

Instagram: @milliegooch / @sobergirlsociety

Website: sobergirlsociety.com

Buy Hangxiety here - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/827960/hangxiety-by-millie-gooch/

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected]. Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts with us!

For interviews, features, partnerships or other media requests, contact Kate at [email protected].

Victoria’s brutally honest and hilarious memoir about motherhood, anxiety and ditching the booze.

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

A Year of Trying (and Failing) to Be a Better Parent—Vic’s funny and painfully relatable memoir about the messy reality of motherhood.

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart filled with relatable support, practical tools and plenty of awkwardness to help you begin life without booze.

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Sober Awkward shares personal experiences and community support, but it is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

If you are physically dependent on alcohol, suddenly stopping can be dangerous. Please speak to a doctor or alcohol-support service for advice on withdrawing safely.

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’ve been absolutely fine all day. You haven’t thought about alcohol, you’re feeling quite pleased with yourself and then suddenly it’s 5pm and your brain goes = WINE.

This Thursday, Vic is digging into that very specific bit of the day when the urge to drink seems to arrive almost automatically. Why does cooking dinner make you want wine? Why can finishing work, putting the kids to bed or simply looking at the bloody clock suddenly trigger a craving?

Vic looks at how our brains connect alcohol with times, places and routines, why COVID made home drinking so much easier to slip into, and how alcohol delivery has removed yet another barrier between wanting a drink and having one.

More importantly, this is a practical episode about what you can actually do about it. From identifying your own drinking hour and counting the bottles in the recycling, to cancelling the wine delivery, eating before the craving kicks in and making alcohol harder to get hold of, Vic shares some simple ways to interrupt a routine that might have been happening for years.

You don’t need to work out how you’re going to stay sober forever at 5pm tonight. You just need to get through the shitty hour.

And possibly have a sandwich.

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected] Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts!

Contact Kate at [email protected]

Vic's Books

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Sober Awkward, Vic and Ulrika tackle a drinking style that often flies completely under the radar, the stay-at-home drinker. Vic was the loud one. The social one. The drinker making questionable decisions in public and collecting stories she’d rather forget. Ulrika was different.

Her drinking happened behind closed doors. No bars. No dance floors. No one telling her she’d had enough. Just a sofa, a glass of rum, a familiar routine, and eventually a habit that quietly became something she relied on to get through the day.

Together they explore how alcohol can slowly shift from something we enjoy to something we need, why drinking at home can be so difficult to spot, and how secrecy, shame and isolation create the perfect conditions for alcohol to tighten its grip.

They talk openly about lockdown drinking, parenting, anxiety, blackouts, hidden bottles, emotional dependence, and the exhausting cycle of drink, shame, hide, repeat.

Along the way, they also cover builder-induced toilet disasters, panty liners, digestive biscuits, and why Ulrika accidentally traumatised a team of tradesmen by forgetting to shut the bathroom door.

If you’ve ever found yourself pouring a glass because the kids are finally asleep, because work was stressful, because you’re lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, bored, or simply because it’s become what you do every evening, this episode is for you.

This is an honest conversation about the drinking nobody sees, the shame nobody talks about, and the moment both Vic and Ulrika realised they couldn’t keep doing it anymore.

Because sometimes the most dangerous drinking isn’t happening in the pub.

It’s happening quietly on the sofa.

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected]. Your message could inspire a future episode.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find the app here.

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts with us!

For interviews, features, partnerships or other media requests, contact Kate at [email protected].

Victoria’s brutally honest and hilarious memoir about motherhood, anxiety and ditching the booze.

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

A Year of Trying (and Failing) to Be a Better Parent—Vic’s funny and painfully relatable memoir about the messy reality of motherhood.

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart filled with relatable support, practical tools and plenty of awkwardness to help you begin life without booze.

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Sober Awkward shares personal experiences and community support, but it is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

If you are physically dependent on alcohol, suddenly stopping can be dangerous. Please speak to a doctor or alcohol-support service for advice on withdrawing safely.

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Thursday on The Awkward Bits, Vic is back on her own and wondering whether one of the reasons sobriety feels so bloody terrifying is because we make it MASSIVE before we’ve even started.

When Vic first considered giving up drinking, she wasn’t worrying about getting through Tuesday night without a beer. Oh no. She was already mentally attending future weddings sober, cancelling imaginary cocktails on holidays she hadn’t booked and wondering whether eighty year old Vic would be devastated when someone offered her a lovely glass of red on her deathbed! So dramatic!!

Basically, she turned not drinking into the end of civilisation as she knew it.

So this week, Vic is looking at what happens when you make sobriety smaller. Instead of worrying about never drinking again, what if you just deal with tonight? Instead of trying to imagine the rest of your life without alcohol, what if you concentrate on changing one little bit of your routine and see what happens?

Vic also talks about one of the biggest mistakes she made in early sobriety, removing alcohol but forgetting to fill the massive bloody hole it left behind. She was trying to squeeze sober Vic back into her old drinking life, then wondering why nothing quite fitted anymore.

There are also some brilliant thoughts from the Sober Awkward community about what scared them before they stopped, plus some very simple ways to make those first sober days and awkward sober firsts feel less overwhelming. And perhaps, instead of spending all your time worrying about what you’re going to lose, this episode might help you get a tiny bit excited about what you could get back.

You don’t need to work out Christmas, your next holiday, your fortieth birthday and whether you’ll fancy champagne when you’re eighty. You’re changing one thing. Start there. Although there is a slight risk that eight years later you’ll find yourself sitting in a pottery class making a wonky fish cup.

Nobody warns you about that bit.

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected] Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts!

Contact Kate at [email protected]

Vic's Books

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Scared of Going Sober? What are you actually frightened of?

Being boring?

Losing your identity?

Not fitting in anymore?

Not knowing how to relax, cope or survive life without booze?

This week on Sober Awkward, Vic and Ulrika tackle the huge scary myths that keep so many people stuck in the “maybe I should stop drinking… but absolutely not” phase for years.From fear of missing out to fear of becoming a party pooper with no personality, the pair unpack the weird stories we tell ourselves about sobriety, and why most of them turn out to be complete nonsense.

There’s talk of goat’s cheese phobias, quicksand anxiety, social shame spirals, behind-closed-doors drinking, punky sober rebellion and why sober people are not, in fact, smug weirdos knitting winter scarves while watching Antiques Roadshow. Vic shares how she genuinely believed sobriety would ruin her life, while Ulrika explains how alcohol became less about partying and more about coping quietly alone.

Funny, honest and unexpectedly hopeful, this episode is for anyone standing on the edge of change wondering: “What if sobriety is awful?”

Turns out… it might actually be the thing that gives you your life back!!

Tune in every Monday to hear Vic and Ulrika chat about the weird and wonderful world of sobriety.

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected]. Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts with us!

For interviews, features, partnerships or other media requests, contact Kate at [email protected].

Victoria’s brutally honest and hilarious memoir about motherhood, anxiety and ditching the booze.

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

A Year of Trying (and Failing) to Be a Better Parent—Vic’s funny and painfully relatable memoir about the messy reality of motherhood.

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart filled with relatable support, practical tools and plenty of awkwardness to help you begin life without booze.

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Sober Awkward shares personal experiences and community support, but it is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

If you are physically dependent on alcohol, suddenly stopping can be dangerous. Please speak to a doctor or alcohol-support service for advice on withdrawing safely.

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s Awkward Bit gets a little bit… well, awkward.

After Vic’s conversation with Cat Sims on Monday, she couldn’t stop thinking about one word: alcoholic.

It’s a word Vic has avoided for her entire sobriety. She’s always called herself an ex drinker, a binge drinker, a former party girl, a piss head with no off switch, basically anything other than an alcoholic. She told herself that was because she didn’t want to scare people away from sobriety, but after eight and a half years, she’s starting to wonder if there’s another reason.

Maybe the word still scares her.

So in this episode, Vic takes an “Am I an alcoholic?” test, looks properly at why she’s resisted the label for so long, and asks whether accepting it might actually make her sobriety stronger rather than define her by her past.

A little warning, Vic gets very tearful in this one. But that’s sort of the point. She didn’t realise quite how much shame and fear she was still carrying around one little word until she tried to say it out loud.

It’s emotional, uncomfortable, funny in places and probably one of the most vulnerable Awkward Bits Vic has recorded.

Can she finally say, “I’m an alcoholic” without worrying about what everyone else thinks?

Let’s find out.

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected] Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts!

Contact Kate at [email protected]

Vic's Books

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sunday

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not so smug now! - This week, Vic sits down with writer, podcaster and self-confessed “textbook drunk” Cat Sims for a conversation about motherhood, drugs, booze and what happens when the party girl suddenly has a tiny human to keep alive.

They talk about crying in school car parks, postnatal depression, drinking as a reward for surviving motherhood and that strange moment in sobriety when you realise peace isn’t actually boredom. Sometimes life is just… peaceful. Who knew?

But somewhere along the way, the conversation takes an unexpected turn when Cat uses a word Vic has spent more than eight years avoiding: alcoholic.

Cat embraces the label. Vic absolutely does not.

What follows is a surprisingly emotional conversation about why Vic has always called herself an ex drinker, binge drinker, grey area drinker, former party girl, basically anything other than an alcoholic. Has trying to make sobriety feel less frightening for everyone else actually allowed Vic to keep a little bit of her own shame tucked away?

There are tears, uncomfortable truths and a rather compelling argument that after blowing off a finger at a Full Moon Party, perhaps “grey area drinker” isn’t quite covering it. It’s also a conversation about motherhood and belonging, about why so many women struggle quietly while believing everyone else is coping, and why sometimes the most powerful thing you can say to another mum crying in a car park is not “here’s what you should do”, but simply, “I get it. Sometimes parenting is fucked.”

Funny, raw and unexpectedly moving, this one shifts something in Vic.

Enjoy one of the best Sober Awkward guest interviews ever!

Follow Cat:

Instagram (312k followers)

TikTok (253.7k followers)

Substack (10k+ subscribers)

Buy her books:

You're Never The Only One (Simon & Schuster 2025)

The First Time You Smiled (Harper Collins 2022)

Listen to her podcast:

You're Never The Only One

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected]. Your message could inspire a future episode.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts with us!

For interviews, features, partnerships or other media requests, contact Kate at [email protected].

Victoria’s brutally honest and hilarious memoir about motherhood, anxiety and ditching the booze.

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

A Year of Trying (and Failing) to Be a Better Parent—Vic’s funny and painfully relatable memoir about the messy reality of motherhood.

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart filled with relatable support, practical tools and plenty of awkwardness to help you begin life without booze.

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to The Awkward Bits, where every Thursday Vic flies solo, digging a little deeper into Monday’s topic, picking apart the bits we didn’t quite get to and exploring all the stuff that got left behind once the microphones were switched off.

And oooof, you lot had a lot to say about sober sex. Vic’s been reading your emails and messages after Monday’s episode with Ulrika and it seems we are definitely not the only ones who found the whole sober intimacy thing a little bit, well, awkward. Who knew taking your clothes off without first drinking half a bottle of wine could require quite so much concentration?

So this Thursday, Vic is going deeper. Not into the drunken one night stands, beer goggles and questionable sexual decisions we talked about on Monday, but into what happens when you take alcohol out of sex altogether.

Why can it suddenly feel so difficult to relax? Why do you become painfully aware of your body, your noises, your face and where the bloody hell you’re supposed to put your arms? What happens when alcohol has been your shortcut from normal everyday life into feeling sexy for years, and suddenly that shortcut isn’t there anymore? Vic looks at some of the science behind alcohol, inhibition and arousal, and shares some of your experiences of learning to have sex without that familiar glass of wine beforehand. She also explores something she’s been wondering about in her own sobriety. Did alcohol actually make us more sexually confident, or did it simply make us care less?

There’s also the question nobody really warns you about when you stop drinking. What if your sober sex drive isn’t the same as your drinking one? What if desire takes a little longer to arrive? What if you discover you need connection, affection, safety, time or, in Vic’s case, apparently an appointment in the diary?

Maybe sober sex isn’t worse. Maybe at first it’s just more real, more vulnerable and considerably harder to hide in.

Another short, honest and slightly uncomfortable Thursday rummage through the bits of sobriety we don’t talk about enough.

Clothes optional.

Have you got a story, weird drunk confession or a question for Vic and Ulrika?

Email [email protected] Your message could inspire a future episode.

The Sober Awkward app is a welcoming space for anyone who is sober, sober-curious or simply rethinking their relationship with alcohol.

Search “Sober Awkward” in the Apple App Store or find for all other devices click here

Instagram - Sober Awkward: @soberawkward

Facebook - Sober Awkward Community for Women

🌴 Fancy a sober holiday? Click here to come and drink from coconuts!

Contact Kate at [email protected]

Vic's Books

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Drinkline — National Alcohol Helpline

Free and confidential support if you are worried about your own or someone else’s drinking.

Call 0300 123 1110

Weekdays: 9am–8pm

Weekends: 11am–4pm

👉 NHS alcohol support

Alcohol Change UK

Information, practical tools and support.

👉 alcoholchange.org.uk

WithYou

Free, confidential support with alcohol, drugs and mental health.

👉 wearewithyou.org.uk

In an emergency, call 999.

National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline

Free and confidential information and support.

Call 1800 250 015

Available 24/7 in most states and territories.

👉 Australian Government hotline information

Lifeline Australia

Crisis support available 24/7.

Call 13 11 14

Text 0477 13 11 14

👉 lifeline.org.au

In an emergency, call 000.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before these two ex-drinkers introduce their sobriety stories... we thought we'd start this journey in the most awkward way possible! Yes, it's the sex episode!

Did alcohol really make us sexier and more confident, or did it just lower our inhibitions, blur our judgement and convince us the last bloke on the dance floor was “the one”?

In this revealing episode, Vic and Ulrika look back at drunken hook-ups, questionable one-night stands and the emotional aftermath that rarely felt as carefree as it was supposed to. They discuss why alcohol made them feel fearless enough to swing from the chandeliers, while sometimes leaving them ashamed, lonely or wondering whether they had been safe at all.

The conversation also moves into more difficult territory as they share frightening experiences of sexual assault that were never reported, examine why intoxicated women so often blame themselves, and talk honestly about alcohol’s effect on consent. Going home with someone is not consent. Drinking is not consent. And being intoxicated never makes an assault your fault.

There are plenty of laughs, a few spectacularly bad decisions and absolutely no bedroom expertise, but beneath it all is a candid conversation about sex, shame, safety and self-trust. Vic and Ulrika ask whether sober intimacy might feel awkward at first, but ultimately be more confident, connected and real than anything found at the bottom of a wine glass.

CONTENT NOTE

This episode contains frank discussions of sex, sexual assault, consent and alcohol-related vulnerability.

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Victoria’s brutally honest and hilarious memoir about motherhood, anxiety and ditching the booze.

👉 Get A Thousand Wasted Sundays

A Year of Trying (and Failing) to Be a Better Parent—Vic’s funny and painfully relatable memoir about the messy reality of motherhood.

👉 Get Mumming

A 30-day sobriety kickstart filled with relatable support, practical tools and plenty of awkwardness to help you begin life without booze.

👉 Explore the Sober Awkward Guide

Find more episodes, books, events and everything Sober Awkward.

👉 soberawkward.com

Sober Awkward shares personal experiences and community support, but it is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

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