Have you ever been completely sure you’re done drinking, and then a few hours or days later it suddenly doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore? That shift can feel confusing, even scary, like you’ve lost your commitment or changed your mind. In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening in your brain in those moments, why your thinking changes, and why it feels so real when it does. Once you understand this pattern, you’ll see why trying harder hasn’t worked, and what actually makes your commitment hold.

What to listen to next: E283

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A lot of people think they’re resilient because they’ve been through a lot. But if that were true, then why do the same situations keep hitting just as hard, or harder, every time? In this episode, I’m going to break down the difference between surviving something and actually becoming resilient, what’s happening in your brain when you cope by escaping, and why that pattern keeps people stuck in the back and forth with drinking. You’ll learn what actually needs to change so you don’t feel like you need relief from your life all the time.

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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After getting sober many of us notice we go harder on scrolling, being productive, or people pleasing. In this episode, I want to walk you through how these behaviors are actually serving the same purpose, where they come from, what they’re doing in your brain, and why they can keep you feeling stuck even when it looks like you’re doing everything right.

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You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

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If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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There’s a very specific thought pattern that keeps people stuck with drinking for years. It sounds like: “I know I should probably stop… but it’s not that bad”, “I’ll deal with it later”, “It’ll click eventually.”

And the tricky part is… those thoughts feel reasonable. There will always be a big enough stressor or a drinking event to justify delaying quitting. You’re still functioning. Nothing has completely fallen apart. You can still point to parts of your life that are going fine. So it doesn’t feel urgent.

This is one of the hardest places to be because when things are obviously bad, the decision gets made for you. There’s a clear reason to change. But when things are just “okay”… your brain keeps you stuck in this middle ground where you’re uncomfortable enough to think about quitting, but not uncomfortable enough to actually do it.

And that’s where people can stay for a really long time. Going back and forth. Thinking about it. Questioning it. Telling themselves they’ll deal with it later. This isn’t you taking your time or being thoughtful. This is a pattern. And the longer you stay in it, the more it reinforces itself.

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You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

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If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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We are experts at making our emotions much worse than they really are. You might feel stressed, and within a few seconds it becomes “I can’t handle this.” You feel overwhelmed, and suddenly it’s “this is too much.” You feel stuck or frustrated, and your mind goes to “this is never going to change.”

In those moments, it doesn’t feel like a thought. It feels true. It’s not just that you’re feeling something uncomfortable. It’s that the feeling turns into a conclusion about your life.

Stress turns into “I can’t handle this.” Frustration turns into “this will never change.” Discomfort turns into “I need this to stop.”

Once that happens, it changes how you experience everything. It changes how you think, feel, and what you want to do next. So in this episode, we’re going to break down why that happens. Why emotions don’t just stay as emotions, why your brain turns them into meaning, and why that can make you feel trapped, overwhelmed, or hopeless, even when the situation itself hasn’t actually changed.

Work with me:

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You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered.com/email

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If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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A lot of people quit drinking expecting to feel calmer. You think sobriety is going to reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and make life feel more stable. It does… eventually. But for a while, many people experience the opposite. You feel on edge for no clear reason. Small things overwhelm you. You’re exhausted but can’t fully relax. Your sleep is inconsistent, your emotions are intense, and stress hits harder than it used to.

And this is where people start to wonder if something is wrong, or worse, if alcohol was actually helping. Years of drinking trained your body to live in a constant state of stress. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what alcohol actually does to the nervous system, why sobriety can feel so dysregulating at first, and how your brain and body relearn safety over time.

Get the E313 email that I reference at the end https://soberpowered.myflodesk.com/e313

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If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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You can know alcohol is hurting you. You can want to quit. You can be exhausted by the consequences. And then still drink. In this episode, we’re talking about ambivalence: what it actually is in the brain, why negative consequences don’t always make us change, and how drinking shifts decision-making from intentional to automatic. I’ll also discuss how ambivalence can creep back in long after you’ve made the decision and result in the slow drift back to drinking.

E269: Autopilot mode

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Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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You probably expect that the more sober time you have, the less you crave alcohol. That’s true for some people, but others experience an effect called incubation of craving. This is where cravings build up over time and peak around 60 days, then again around 6 months sober. In this episode, I’ll explain the research on incubation of craving, what you might experience, why this happens, and what you can do to stay sober.

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Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

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Sugar cravings in early sobriety make sense. What many of us don’t expect is still needing something sweet months or even years later. In this episode, we’re going to unpack why that happens, what sugar is really doing for your nervous system, and why this phase has less to do with food and more to do with healing.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I quit drinking, I didn’t realize how emotionally immature I was, or how much alcohol had been doing for me behind the scenes. In this episode, I talk about why removing alcohol can make emotions feel (more) unbearable at first, how years of emotional avoidance catch up to us in sobriety, and why this phase puts people at risk for relapse. We’ll also talk about what emotional sobriety actually means, and why learning to tolerate discomfort is what makes sobriety sustainable.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

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Course

Pickled. Why Moderation is Impossible https://www.soberpowered.com/pickled

Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices