One of the first things I learned about drinking was that when adults are stressed, they drink, and the stress goes away. As a high stress person, it made perfect sense to me to start drinking every day to manage my stress. This is coping drinking in action. Drinking didn’t help me manage anything. It delayed my problems and allowed them to get worse. In this episode you’ll learn why alcohol is so effective for coping, how long term coping drinking impacts the brain, and what to expect when you first quit drinking.

What to listen to next:

E201: stress

Work with me:

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Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we think about quitting drinking one of the first things we think about is the loss of fun, socializing, and drinking on vacation. Drinking to enhance is all about using alcohol to feel more or to make the good vibes last longer. In this episode, I’ll explain why we use alcohol as an enhancer, how the brain adapts, and why this makes regular life feel dull when we try to stay sober. You’ll learn some mindset shifts and things to consider about if alcohol was really as rewarding as you think.

Companion guide in the community: navigating the "fun now" urge in sobriety and understanding where your need for constant stimulation and excitement comes from

What to listen to next:

E211: the anticipation of a drink

E265: rewiring the reward system

E269: autopilot mode

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I drink to have fun and socialize, I tell myself as I try to rationalize why I don’t have to quit drinking. Except “fun” and “socializing” looks like getting drunk on the coach with my husband and then staying up alone drinking more. It’s much easier to say I’m a wine connoisseur who enjoys the taste instead of I can’t cope with my emotions. In this episode, I’m discussing drinking motives and why we drink. By the end, you’ll have a better understanding of what alcohol is or was doing for you.

What to listen to next:

E211: the anticipation of a drink

E204: why some people develop a problem

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Here's a preview of what I'll be talking about on the podcast this month and what will be going on in the community.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I took adult swim lessons for the past 2 months and in this episode I'm sharing about why I decided to finally learn how to swim, what it was like, and how pursuing goals changes the longer we stay sober.

What to listen to next:

E227: My 200 lb Deadlift

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve been wanting to make this episode for years, but I felt like it would be offensive if I talked about how I struggled with feeling like I wasted years of my life drinking because I quit at 29 and I know most people quit way later. I finally decided to move forward with this because I noticed an interesting trend in the people I work with. In this episode, we’ll talk about why the sense of wasted years hits so hard in early sobriety, how our brains are wired to replay “what if” scenarios, and why younger and middle-aged adults struggle more with regret than older adults do. Most importantly, we’ll explore how you can shift from shame over the past to meaning and opportunity in the present—so no matter when you quit, you can stop looking backward and start living the years you have now.

What to listen to next:

E283: Alcohol Shortens Your Perception of Time (Instant Gratification)

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional reactivity is one of the biggest roadblocks to staying sober. For many of us, our brain’s alarm system has been rewired by years of drinking to overreact to even the smallest stressors, making ordinary problems feel like catastrophes. In this episode, we’ll break down the science of why that happens, from amygdala hyperactivity to weakened prefrontal regulation, and how alcohol conditions the brain to link stress directly to craving. We’ll also look at why low stress tolerance and poor coping skills create a perfect storm that keeps us stuck in the cycle of relapse, and explore 5 thinking patterns that make stress feel worse than it really is. By the end, you’ll understand why life can feel so overwhelming without alcohol, and what it really takes to rewire your brain so sobriety becomes sustainable.

What to listen to next:

E249: stress

E251: intense emotions

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am wrong.” It feels like proof that you’re a weak-willed loser with no self-control when you keep drinking even though you said you wouldn’t or you drink more than you intended. That’s shame talking. The real truth is it’s proof that you need a different approach and that you’re lacking coping skills and the ability to be flexible in your thinking. In this episode, we’ll explore how that difference shapes recovery, the neuroscience of shame, and how moving from shame to guilt can rebuild self-worth and hope.

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever thought back to the early days of your drinking and remembered how just one or two drinks gave you exactly what you wanted? That light, carefree buzz—the feeling that you were relaxed, loosened up, and maybe even a little funnier. Fast forward a few years, and suddenly those same two drinks barely register. You start chasing it—three, four, maybe more—and before you know it, the sweet spot is gone. Instead of a gentle buzz, you either feel nothing… or you’re over the line into drunk.

That disappearing buzz is tolerance. And tolerance is the brain’s way of adapting to repeated exposure to alcohol. In this episode, I want to unpack exactly why the same amount of alcohol feels weaker over time, how tolerance develops in your brain, why it fuels heavier drinking, and why that easy, carefree buzz eventually disappears altogether.

What to listen to next:

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever promised yourself you’d only have one drink? Maybe it was at dinner, or after work—you told yourself, “Just one, that’s it.” But once that drink was gone, something shifted. Instead of feeling satisfied, you found yourself wanting another. And another. It can feel frustrating, even confusing. What’s wrong with me? Why can other people leave some alcohol behind in their glass and I can’t fathom it?

This is one of the most common struggles people face when trying to moderate. And it’s not about willpower, discipline, or wanting it badly enough. It’s about how alcohol interacts with the brain. For some people, that first drink doesn’t close the craving loop—it opens it. In this episode, we’re going to talk about why that happens: how alcohol changes the brain’s reward system, why some people are more vulnerable than others, and why “just one” isn’t harmless if your brain is wired a certain way. By the end, you’ll understand why satisfaction never comes from moderation—and why that’s not your fault.

What to listen to next:

E265: rewiring the reward system

E204: why not everyone develops a problem

Work with me:

Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership

Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching

 Weekly email:

You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email

Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free

Courses:

The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course

Don’t try harder, try different  https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower

Support the show:

If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered

Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors

Sources are posted on my website

Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices