In this episode, Duane Osterlind sits down with Dr. Rachel Docekal to discuss the shifting landscape of youth addiction and mental health. With over 40 years of history, the Hanley Foundation is moving beyond the "Just Say No" era into evidence-based prevention that addresses the root causes of use: isolation, digital addiction, and the mental health fallout of the post-COVID world.

Key Takeaways

• The "Double Whammy" of COVID & Smartphones: Dr. Docekal highlights how the combination of pandemic isolation and the rise of social media "highlight reels" has created a surge in anxiety and depression among youth.
• The Shift in Treatment: For the first time, the Hanley Center has had to dedicate primary beds specifically to mental health (not just detox), reflecting a crisis where substances are often a secondary symptom of internal distress.
• The THC Trap: They discuss the alarming trend of high-potency marijuana causing psychiatric breaks in young people—and the frightening reality that for some, the cognitive changes may be permanent.
• Connection Over Correction: The core of the issue is often a loss of "true human connection." From families on phones at dinner to the addictive nature of algorithms, the "nemesis" in the pocket is often the biggest barrier to wellness.

Innovative Prevention Programs

The Hanley Foundation is pioneering programs that treat students with dignity rather than just discipline.

Program Focus

Replacing "Zero Tolerance"Instead of suspension/expulsion, students caught using enter a series of counseling sessions that include their parents.Alcohol Literacy ChallengeDe-bunking MythsThis program uses science to show kids that the "positive" effects they expect from alcohol (confidence, better dancing) are actually psychological, not pharmacological.A Note for Parents: The Power of "Just Being"

When asked for her #1 piece of advice for parents and educators, Dr. Docekal offered a grounding perspective:

"You don’t have to have the answer; you just have to have the presence. Just be with your kid. Your job is to listen—not to talk, not to demand, and certainly not to solve."

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

• Prevention Services: HanleyFoundation.org
• Treatment Services: HanleyCenter.org
• Support Hotline: 844-502-HOPE (4673)
• The Addicted Mind Website: TheAddictedMind.com

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Download: BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK AND ASKING FOR HELP

Have you ever felt like reaching out for help is a sign of weakness? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of the Addicted Mind podcast, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind delve into the powerful impact of asking for help on the journey to recovery.

Asking for help can be one of the hardest steps in addiction recovery, but it's also one of the most crucial. Duane and Eric discuss common barriers like shame, denial, and fear of vulnerability that keep people from seeking the support they need. They share personal stories and insights from their experiences as therapists, emphasizing that recovery flourishes in connection and not in isolation. Listen in as they break down five key internal beliefs that often prevent people from reaching out and offer practical advice on overcoming these hurdles. By the end of the episode, you'll understand why seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a profound act of courage and strength.

Key topics

• The 5 main barriers to asking for help in addiction recovery

• Why social support is crucial for maintaining long-term sobriety

• How childhood experiences can affect our ability to seek help

• The importance of vulnerability in the recovery process

• Practical steps to overcome the fear of asking for support

• Free resources to help build your support network

Timestamps

[00:01:06] Introduction to the importance of asking for help in recovery

[00:03:51] Discussing the 5 internal beliefs that prevent people from seeking help

[00:04:12] Exploring shame and stigma as barriers

[00:05:26] Addressing denial in addiction

[00:06:34] The fear of vulnerability and its roots

[00:08:00] Self-reliance mindset and its impact on seeking help

[00:09:57] Dealing with hopelessness in addiction recovery

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind, we dive deep into the world of experiential therapy with Steve Buckby, a seasoned therapist with over 50 years of experience. Steve shares his profound insights into the Virginia Satir Model and how its principles of change, the "Mandala," and the "Iceberg" can be powerful tools for those struggling with addiction.

We explore the idea of addiction as a "lover" that must be grieved, the necessity of walking through chaos to find a new status quo, and why the relationship between therapist and client is a collaborative journey of human-to-human connection.

Key Takeaways

• The Process of Change: Change isn’t a straight line; it requires moving from a familiar (even if painful) status quo, through a "foreign element" that sparks chaos, and finally into a new, healthier balance.
• Addiction as a "Lover": Recovery often involves a grieving process similar to the stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Letting go of a substance is often like losing a significant, albeit toxic, relationship.
• The Satir Mandala: Understanding the physical, intellectual, emotional, sensual, interactional, nutritional, contextual, and spiritual dimensions of ourselves to find true balance.
• Vulnerability & Connection: Addiction thrives in isolation. Healing begins when we take the risk to be "real" and vulnerable within a supportive community or therapeutic relationship.
• Education as Empowerment: Understanding the physiology of addiction helps separate the person from the "ism," reducing shame and fostering self-forgiveness.

Understanding the Satir Model

Steve explains that human beings naturally seek a Status Quo. In addiction, that status quo is the cycle of use. To break it, a "Foreign Element" (a crisis, a choice, or an intervention) must disrupt the system.

The Stages of Transformation

Old Status QuoThe familiar, predictable way of living (even if dysfunctional). Foreign ElementAn event or realization that makes the old status quo no longer viable.ChaosThe "limbo" period where old patterns don't work and new ones aren't yet formed. Integration Learning new strategies and internalizing resources. New Status Quo A state of higher functioning, self-compassion, and awareness.The "Iceberg Theory"

Steve also touches on the Iceberg Theory, which suggests that behavior (the tip of the iceberg) is driven by much deeper levels of feelings, perceptions, expectations, yearnings, and the "Self."

"The story is not the problem; the meaning of the story is really important." — Steve Buckby

By shifting the meaning we give to our past trauma and choices, we can move from shame to positive-directional change.

About Our Guest: Steve Buckby

Steve Buckby is a certified social worker and licensed professional counselor based in Escanaba, Michigan. Practicing since the early 1970s, Steve has dedicated his career to outpatient and inpatient care, as well as teaching the experiential methods of Virginia Satir to the next generation of healers.

Connect with Steve:

• Email: [email protected]

Resources Mentioned

• Virginia Satir Global Network
• The Kübler-Ross Stages of Grief
• Mindfulness Practices

Enjoyed the show? Please consider leaving us a review on iTunes or supporting us on Patreon. Your support helps us bring these vital conversations to those who need them most.

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In this episode of The Addicted Mind, Duane speaks with Nima Rahmany, a former chiropractor turned emotional health educator. Nima shares his profound journey from "success on paper" to a total relational breakdown that forced him to confront his own deep-seated patterns of anxious attachment and fawning.

They dive deep into the concept of becoming "trigger-proof," the hidden cost of people-pleasing, and why "shame alchemization" is the secret to a truly authentic life. Whether you are struggling with addiction, burnout, or toxic relationship cycles, this episode offers a roadmap for moving from unconscious reactivity to conscious leadership.

Key Topics & Chapters

• [01:32] The Wake-Up Call: Nima Rahmany discusses how a crisis in his personal life and a brush with the legal system forced him to look past his professional success and address his defensive reactivity.
• [03:54] The Cost of Fawning: A breakdown of the "Fawn" response—how suppressing your truth to appease others creates a "bottomless pit" of resentment and physical inflammation.
• [10:14] Defining the Fawn Response: Nima provides a powerful analogy of how children learn to appease "predators" (caregivers) to survive, and how that evolves into a destructive adult relationship strategy.
• [14:41] Somatic Impact: Exploring the link between unresolved emotional wounds, fawning, and chronic physical issues like autoimmune diseases and inflammation.
• [21:00] Loving the Shadow: Why true self-love isn't about liking your "best" parts, but about "unshaming" the parts of yourself you’ve tried to kill off or hide.
• [27:12] Success vs. Intimacy: Why high-achieving entrepreneurs often crush it in business but fail in relationships, and how the "push energy" of success can actually block emotional safety.
• [47:26] The Worthiness Inquiry: Nima shares a foundational question for listeners: "I am only worthy of love when..."
• [52:00] The Heartbeat Realization: A moving story about hearing his son’s heartbeat and rediscovering the concept of inherent worthiness.

Quotes

"Shame alchemization is the secret to being a human... finding these embarrassing, unacceptable parts of us and really looking to understand them." —  Nima Rahmany

"Fawning is when you freeze a part of you in an interaction... you freeze your truth and then you perform niceness." — Nima Rahmany

"One size fits all is not real. It’s not real for baseball caps, and it’s not real for recovery plans." — Nima Rahmany

"The path to self-love is really about loving your shadow." — Nima Rahmany

Understanding the Survival Responses

To better understand where "Fawning" fits into our biological safety system, it helps to see it alongside the more commonly known stress responses:

• Fight: Aggression and boundary-setting.
• Flight: Avoiding or escaping the threat.
• Freeze: Numbing out or becoming paralyzed.
• Fawn: Appeasing the threat to ensure safety.

Resources Mentioned

• The Attachment Style Quiz: Discover if you are anxious, avoidant, or disorganized. [Link provided in bio/show notes]
• Recovery Demystified: Exploring "Quit Lit" and science-based recovery tools.
• "Unshaming": The work of David Bedrick.

About Nima Rahmany

Nima Rahmani is the founder of the Trigger-Proof methodology. He helps entrepreneurs and individuals heal attachment wounds to uplevel their capacity for love and leadership.

Connect with Nima:

• Website:https://becometriggerproof.com/
• Instagram: @nimarahmanyofficial

Previous Interview With Nima Rahmany

Previous Interview With Dr. Nima Rahmani

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Download: Debunking Common Emotion Myths Worksheet

Have you ever felt like your emotions are running the show, pushing and pulling you in directions you don’t want to go? You’re not alone.

In this episode of the Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the world of emotion regulation. They explore common myths about emotions that keep many of us stuck in unhealthy patterns. With practical insights and compassionate guidance, Duane and Eric shed light on how our misunderstandings about emotions can lead to more intense feelings and problematic behaviors.

By debunking these myths, they show us how to develop healthier relationships with our emotions, allowing us to make decisions that align with our true goals. Whether you’re struggling with impulsive reactions or avoidance strategies or just want to understand your emotions better, this episode is packed with valuable information that can help you navigate your emotional landscape more effectively.

Join Duane and Eric as they explore the myths surrounding emotion regulation and how these misconceptions can hinder our recovery journey. Learn about the importance of understanding your emotions from a biopsychosocial perspective and discover practical tips to regulate your emotions instead of letting them control you. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a better grasp of how to manage your emotions and make decisions that support your well-being.

Key Topics

• Understanding the impact of emotions on decision-making
• The importance of emotion regulation skills in recovery
• Debunking common myths about emotions
• The role of avoidance and escape strategies in emotional intensity
• How to develop a healthier relationship with your emotions
• The benefits of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) in emotion regulation
• Practical steps to regulate emotions effectively

Key Moments

1. [00:01:22] - Introduction to the topic of emotion regulation
2. [00:02:07] - The problem with letting emotions drive our decisions
3. [00:03:00] - Defining emotion regulation and its significance
4. [00:07:19] - Introduction to myths about emotions
5. [00:09:08] - Discussion on the myth: Emotions are bad or dangerous
6. [00:11:44] - Exploring the myth: If I start feeling, I’ll never stop

[00:14:00] - Addressing the myth: I should be able to control my emotions

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In this episode, Duane speaks with Early Brunner, the founder of Recovery Demystified. Early shares their powerful journey of navigating addiction as a queer, neurodivergent (autistic) person growing up in a small town. They discuss why traditional recovery models like AA can feel alienating for marginalized groups and how science-based "Quit Lit," neuroscience, and self-compassion provided the path to lasting sobriety.

Key Topics & Chapters

• [00:03] Introduction to Early Brunner Early introduces their background: growing up undiagnosed autistic in 90s Wisconsin, dealing with profound social rejection, and discovering substances at age 10 as a way to find social connection.
• [04:30] The 13-Year Struggle Early discusses the "vicious cycle" of trying to quit using willpower alone. They share the shame of failed attempts and the realization that the substances that once provided relief were now the primary source of their crippling anxiety.
• [14:05] The Turning Point: Beyond Willpower The shift began when Early found science-based resources like This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. Understanding the neuroscience of addiction helped them realize they weren't "broken" or "powerless," but rather dealing with a brain-based challenge that could be repaired.
• [23:34] The Birth of Recovery Demystified After working as an EMT and seeing the failures of the traditional medical system, Early felt called to create a space specifically for those with "complex identities"—queer and neurodivergent folks who face significantly higher rates of addiction due to systemic trauma.
• [33:44] Neurodivergence and Addiction A deep dive into why ADHD and Autistic individuals are more prone to substance use, focusing on lower baseline dopamine levels, sensory overload, and the "mashing of the dopamine button" to cope with a world not built for them.
• [36:10] Destigmatizing the Story Early explains the importance of looking at the "whole person," including their childhood (ACEs score), rather than just their worst moments in active addiction.

Quotes

"Willpower is like a muscle, and muscles get tired over time... I think you need an ounce of willpower and about 25 pounds of everything else." — Early Brunner

"One size fits all is not real. It’s not real for baseball caps, and it’s not real for recovery plans." — Early Brunner

"The first step was asking: 'What would someone who loves themself do?'" — Early Brunner

Resources Mentioned

• Book: This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
• Podcast: Recovery Elevator
• Concept: ACEs Score (Adverse Childhood Experiences)

Connect with Early Brunner

• Website: recoverydemystified.com
• Podcast: Recovery Demystified
• Social Media: @recoverydemystified (Instagram/Substack)
• Email: [email protected]

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In this powerful episode, Duane sits down with filmmaker Benjamin Flaherty to discuss his hard-hitting documentary, Shuffle. The film pulls back the curtain on the "Florida Shuffle"—a predatory cycle in the billion-dollar addiction treatment industry where vulnerable individuals are "brokered" between facilities for insurance payouts.

Benjamin shares his own journey of recovery and explains how his personal experience allowed him to gain unprecedented access to a community often silenced or exploited. This conversation explores the dark intersection of greed and healthcare, the resilience of the human spirit, and why the current treatment system desperately needs transparency.

Key Discussion Points

• Benjamin’s Recovery Journey: How a moment of clarity at age 41 led Benjamin from "professional alcoholism" to a transformative experience in treatment.
• The Origins of Shuffle: A chance conversation in an AA meeting revealed a disturbing trend: recovery call centers becoming a primary source of employment for those in early sobriety.
• What is the "Florida Shuffle"? Benjamin explains how the Affordable Care Act (ACA) unintentionally created a loophole where "patient brokers" poach insured individuals, profiting from their relapses.
• The Statistic that Shocks: There are currently more private substance abuse treatment centers in the U.S. than there are McDonald's restaurants.
• Witnessing the Cycle: The emotional weight of filming Corey and Nicole—two individuals caught in the cycle of being "bought and sold" by treatment facilities.
• The "Driveway Recordings": Why Benjamin chose to use raw, iPhone voice memos for the film's narration to maintain emotional authenticity.
• Maintaining Hope: Despite the systemic corruption, the film highlights the incredible resilience of those in recovery and the fact that healing is still possible.

Notable Quotes

"Stopping a substance is the entry card for admission. That’s not the whole thing. There’s a lot of work to do, and none of us know that until we find it out in our own way." — Benjamin Flaherty

"We’ve now made relapse profitable. We’ve incentivized the struggle by providing substandard care because an insurance card is like a blank check." — Benjamin Flaherty

"I approached my time with Corey not as a filmmaker first, but as a person in recovery. I had to witness it to make it impossible to ignore." — Benjamin Flaherty

Resources Mentioned

• The Documentary: Shuffle (also referred to as Stop the Shuffle)
• Website: stoptheshuffle.com — Find theater locations, tickets, and upcoming streaming info.
• Social Media: Follow the movement on Instagram @StopTheShuffle.

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Supporting Resources:

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Download: OVERCOMING BLACK OR WHITE THINKING WORKSHEET

Welcome to the Addicted Mind podcast! Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I'm either a success or a complete failure"? This episode is for you.

In this episode, we dive deep into the pervasive issue of black-and-white thinking, also known as dichotomous thinking and its impact on addiction recovery. Join Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind as they explore how this rigid mindset can create emotional instability and hinder progress. Drawing on principles from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), they discuss practical steps to move from extreme thinking to a more balanced, nuanced approach. You'll learn mindfulness techniques, how to challenge your thoughts, and the importance of embracing the gray areas in life. By the end of this episode, you'll have valuable tools to help you think more dialectically and support your journey to recovery. Plus, don't miss the downloadable worksheet in the show notes to further your practice!

Key Topics

• Understanding black-and-white thinking and its impact on recovery
• Introduction to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
• Practical steps to shift towards dialectical thinking
• Importance of mindfulness and self-compassion
• Challenging extreme thoughts and seeking clarification
• The role of language in shaping our perceptions

Timestamps

1. [00:00:00] Introduction and overview of black-and-white thinking
2. [00:02:15] The impact of black-and-white thinking on recovery and relationships
3. [00:06:15] Why our brains default to black-and-white thinking
4. [00:08:40] How to become a gray thinker: Practical steps
5. [00:10:58] Seeking clarification and the role of community support
6. [00:12:42] Reframing negative thoughts and focusing on positives
7. [00:14:11] Call to action: Download the worksheet and join the community

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Today, let’s journey through the realms of neuroscience, addiction research, and the promising future of treatment strategies for substance use disorders. On this episode, Duane speaks with Dr. Paul Kenny, a distinguished figure in neuroscience and addiction research. He unravels his research on signaling cascades in rodents’ brains, providing fascinating insights into addiction-like behaviors. 

The discussion turns engaging as Paul illuminates his groundbreaking work with certain treatments and their potential role in addressing cravings and motivation in substance use disorders is nothing short of fascinating. 

They also steer the conversation towards an area often overlooked, which is the relationship between drugs, addiction, and satiety. Paul dissects how potent drugs like cocaine and heroin trigger extreme pleasure and consequently, substance use disorders. He shares his insights into how the satisfaction derived from drug use and the ritualistic patterns of drug consumption could be altered to reduce dependence. 

This episode sheds light on the promising field of addiction research and the need to raise public awareness of the issue. This is a testament to the incredible work being done by Cure Addiction Now. By understanding the brain’s role in addiction, we can potentially change the way we approach substance use disorders and find innovative ways to help those struggling with addiction.

In this episode, you will hear:

• Groundbreaking research on addiction treatment
• Exploring medications to control cravings and motivation
• Drugs, addiction, and satiety relationship
• GLP-1 enhancers and their potential to treat drug addiction
• Exploring GLP-1 modulators for addiction treatment
• About Cure Addiction Now

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Supporting Resources:

Cure Addiction Now

https://cureaddictionnow.org/ 

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In this episode, Duane Osterlind sits down with author Dana Bowman to discuss the often-overlooked intersection of long-term recovery and menopause. Dana opens up about her journey through "the second reckoning"—a period where hormonal shifts triggered intense anxiety, suicidal ideation, and the resurfacing of addictive behaviors like sugar addiction and "doom scrolling."

They explore the concept of process addictions, the importance of self-advocacy in medical settings, and how creativity can serve as a vital tool for navigating the "identity attack" that often accompanies aging. Dana’s story is a powerful reminder that recovery isn't a destination, but a deepening process that requires grace, honesty, and a willingness to "boop the monster on the nose."

Key Discussion Points

• The "Invisible" Struggle of Menopause: Dana discusses how menopause is one of the least researched medical conditions, despite having over 70 potential symptoms. She highlights the specific danger for women in recovery: how hormonal anxiety can mimic the "dark days" of active addiction.
• Process Addictions in Recovery: When the biological substance (alcohol) is removed, other behaviors often rush in to fill the void. Dana shares her personal struggle with sugar addiction, binge eating, and digital escapism as ways to cope with menopausal distress.
• The Identity Attack: Aging and menopause can lead to "Invisible Woman Syndrome." Dana explains how surrendering to this new phase of life is similar to the initial surrender in early sobriety.
• The "Boop" Rule: A family strategy for facing fears. Instead of running from anxiety or shame, Dana teaches listeners to look the "clown" in the eye and "boop" it on the nose—acknowledging its presence without letting it take control.
• Medical Self-Advocacy: The importance of finding healthcare providers who understand the nuances of addiction and recovery when treating hormonal or mental health issues.

The Spectrum of Menopause Symptoms

Menopause is far more than just "hot flashes." It affects the physical, emotional, and cognitive systems, which can be particularly destabilizing for those maintaining long-term sobriety.

CategoryCommon Symptoms MentionedPhysicalJoint aches, insomnia, changes in hair/skin, exhaustion.EmotionalSevere anxiety, panic attacks, depression, suicidal ideation.BehavioralReturn of "shame circles," hiding behaviors, sugar cravings.Memorable Quotes

"Alcoholism waited for me... and that’s how I felt about the menopause symptoms because they’re so sneaky. You feel like your whole body is betraying you."

"Recovery is all about acceptance and surrender. It’s hard when it’s your own identity to really say, 'Who am I anymore?'"

"There are times when my soul just needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap, and I just really need to hunker down into that. And it's okay. It’s rest."

Resources Mentioned

• Dana’s New Book: Humble Pie: Sober Menopause, Sugar Addiction, and The Sweetness of Recovery
• Dana’s Previous Books: Bottled and How to be Perfect Like Me2
• Website: DanaBowmanCreative.com
• Social Media: Follow Dana on TikTok and Instagram @theDanaBo

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

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