The second positive commandment being violated is (Vayikra 19:18): "And you shall love your neighbor as yourself." The Torah tells us we must be concerned with our friends dignity just as much as our own. In the same way we would not want anyone publicizing any of our flaws we need to have the same commitment to not want that to happen to our friend. 

Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Asei)

וְעוֹבֵר (ב) עַל יְדֵי הַסִפּוּר הַזֶּה גַּם עַל מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה (ויקרא י"ט י"ח): ''וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ'', שֶׁנִּצְטַוֵּינוּ בָּזֶה לָחוּס עַל מָמוֹן חֲבֵרוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוּא חָס עַל שֶׁל עַצְמוֹ, וְלָחוּס עַל כְּבוֹד חֲבֵרוֹ וּלְסַפֵּר בְּשִׁבְחוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוּא חוֹשֵׁשׁ עַל כְּבוֹד עַצְמוֹ, וְהַמְסַפֵּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע וּרְכִילוּת עַל חֲבֵרוֹ, אוֹ הַמְקַבֵּל, אַף אִם הַדָּבָר אֱמֶת, נִרְאֶה בַּעֲלִיל שֶׁאֵינוֹ אוֹהֲבוֹ כְּלָל, וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן דְּכָמוֹךָ בְּוַדַּאי אֵינוֹ מְקַיֵּם.

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The Chofetz Chaim relates that the foundation of healing for all the issues relating to Lashon Hara is to focus on the story of Miriam. He shares a number of reasons why it doesn't appear to be effective, including one losing hope in himself to truly be able to overcome his struggles in Lashon Hara.

Zechor L'Miriam - 1st Perek

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The Chofetz Chaim tells us that way to fulfill the positive mitzva of remembering Miriam in a practical sense is by mentioning it with the mouth. Although some do mention it with the six remembrances it does not seem to be the minhag. The Magen Avrohom interestingly notes that in the blessing of "Ahava Rabbah" we say that Hashem brought us close to his name to praise him, this praising implies our mouths are created for praise and NOT Lashon Hara, which brings to mind the story of Miriam. Rav Moshe adds that you must actually have the story in mind to fulfill the mitzvah though, he also disagrees with the Chofetz Chaims opinion that learning any laws in the matter of Lashon Hara would be a fulfillment of this mitzvah. In conclusion we would recommend to think about Miriam while reciting "Ahava Rabbah" and/or to say the 6 remembrances  which includes it.

Magen Avrohom 60:2

איתא בכוונות ובכתבים והזכירות הללו הם מ"ע לכן כשיאמר ובנו בחרת יזכור מ"ת, וקרבתנו מעמד הר סיני, לשמך הגדול מעשה עמלק שאין השם שלם, להודות לך הפה לא נברא רק להודות ולא לדבר לשון הרע וזהו זכירת מעשה מרים

Igros Moshe

Chovos HaShemirah - 3rd Perek

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The first positive commandment that we have regarding Lashon Hara is "Remember what the L–rd your G–d did to Miriam on the way when you went out of Egypt."  The fact that Miriam was still punished even in these favorable circumstances teaches us how much more so we have to be careful in our own situations.  Miriam spoke about her beloved brother for whom she endangered herself as well as helped raise, and the actual words she said were comparing Moshe to other prophets, by which he was not offended.  Yet Miriam was still punished.  If a person is involved in conversation with others and prone to forget about not speaking Lashon Hara, this mitzvah would take effect - to think about what happened to Miriam as a tool to avert improper speech.

Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Asei)

הַמְרַגֵּל בַּחֲבֵרוֹ, מִלְּבַד הַלָּאוִין שֶׁמָנִינוּ לְעִיל, עוֹבֵר גַּם כֵּן עַל כַּמָה עַשִׂין, וַאֲבָאֲרֵם בְּעֶזְרַת ה' יִתְבָּרַךְ אֶחָד לְאֶחָד.

Zechor L'Miriam

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After listing 17 prohibitions involved with the transgression of Lashon Hara, the Chofetz Chaim tells us perhaps now that we appreciate all the aspects of destruction it can motivate us to strategize how to remove ourselves from improper speech. Rav Chaim Volozhin was able to find an allowance for an Agunah to get married because he felt a responsibility which propelled him to go beyond his abilities and reach. Hopefully we can also use our knowledge of the severity of Lashon Hara to inspire us past our capabilities and be successful in staying far from it. 

Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Lavin)

הֲרֵי חִשַּׁבְנוּ שִׁבְעָה עָשָׂר לָאוִין הָרְגִילִין לָבוֹא עַל יְדֵי סִפּוּר לָשׁוֹן הָרָע וּרְכִילוּת, אֲפִלּוּ הוּא מְסַפֵּר רַק לְיִשְׂרָאֵל. דְּאִם הוּא מַלְשִׁין עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּפְנֵי כּוּתִי, אִסוּרוֹ יוֹתֵר גָּדוֹל וְיוֹתֵר חָמוּר, וְנִכְנָס לִפְעָמִים בִּכְלַל מָסוּר כַּאֲשֶׁר נְבָאֵר אִם יִרְצֶה הַשֵּׁם לְקַמָן בְּהִלְכוֹת לָשׁוֹן הָרָע בִּכְלָל שְׁמִינִי. וְהַרְבֵּה מֵהַלָּאוִין הַנַּ''ל, שֶׁחַיָּבִים עֲלֵיהֶן מִיתָה בִּידֵי שָׁמַיִם, כְּמוֹ עַל גְּנוּת דְּאַלְמָנָה וְיָתוֹם וְעַל חִלּוּל הַשֵּׁם, וְהַרְבֵּה מֵהֶן שֶׁנּוֹגֵעַ בְּעִנְיַן עוֹלָם הַבָּא, כְּגוֹן, מַלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים וּמִתְכַּבֵּד בִּקְלוֹן חֲבֵרוֹ, לְמִי שֶׁמַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמוֹ בֶּעָוֹן הֶחָמוּר הַזֶּה שֶׁל לָשׁוֹן הָרָע וּרְכִילוּת, כַּאֲשֶׁר נְבָאֵר אִם יִרְצֶה הַשֵּׁם הַכֹּל לְקַמָן.

Chofetz Chaim, Preface

וְגַם אוּלַי עַל יְדֵי זֶה יִנָּגֵף הַיֵּצֶר בִּרְאוֹתוֹ גֹּדֶל הַמְּהוּמָה וְהַמַּכְשֵׁלָה, שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה עַל יְדֵי דִּבּוּרוֹ, וְזֶה הֵחֵלִי בְּעֶזְרַת הַחוֹנֵן לְאָדָם דַּעַת.

SHU"T Chut HaMeshulash

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Rav Chaim Volozhin tells us through the trait of tolerance and patience a person can achieve significantly more in the area of child rearing. Similarly the Chazon Ish relays that one learns way more from the practice of the teacher than from his speech. If the teacher is giving over a message with anger and negatively then those bad traits will be given over rather than the rebuke or instruction that he is attempting. The opposite is true as well and in a situation where it would be reasonable for the educator to be upset yet he demonstrates patience it's an even greater lesson being imparted to the student.

Kisvei R' Zundel MiSalant pg. 116

Emunah U'Bitachon

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People often speak Lashon Hara out of anger and it can lead to cursing the subject and at times even with Hashems name. This is a transgression of "Do not curse a deaf man", which includes all Jews. The reason it's forbidden is not only due to the damage done to the subject but even to the one cursing. The son of the Shelah refers to the trait of anger as the "the father of impurities" and that there is nothing worse for the body. The greatest barometer for one to recognize his level of anger is in context of his family. The Chofetz Chaims son testifies that his father would treat him like a brother and a friend, never caring if he was interrupted or contradicted. The Ramban tells us to always conduct ourselves to speak calmly to everyone thereby saving us from anger which then leads us to the most important of all traits - humility. It appears from the Ramban that automatically once we remove anger we will then become humble. Perhaps this is because to eliminate anger we must recognize that we aren't entitled to always get what we want and at times realize others come before us.

Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Lavin)

וְלִפְעָמִים (יז) יֵשׁ עוֹד לָאו אַחֵר, לְפִי מַה שֶּׁמָצוּי, בַּעֲוֹנוֹתֵינוּ הָרַבִּים, שֶׁמְדַבֵּר עָלָיו לָשׁוֹן הָרָע מִתּוֹךְ כַּעַס, וּבִשְׁעַת מַעֲשֶׂה הוּא מְקַלְּלוֹ גַּם כֵּן, וּפְעָמִים הוּא מְקַלְּלוֹ בַּשֵּׁם אֲפִלּוּ בְּלַעַ''ז, וְהוּא עוֹבֵר בָּזֶה עַל לָאו גָּמוּר (ויקרא י"ט י"ד) דְּ''לֹא תְקַלֵּל חֵרֵשׁ'' (וְכַוָּנַת הַכָּתוּב הוּא אֲפִלּוּ חֵרֵשׁ, וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ חֵרֵשׁ וְכַמְבֹאָר בְּחֹשֶׁן מִשְׁפָּט בְּסִימָן כ''ז סָעִיף א').

Sefer HaMitzvos 317

ואולי יהיה בדעתנו כי בתכלית מה שנאסר לנו קללת איש מישראל כשיהיה שומע אותו למה שישיגהו מן הצער והכאב אבל קללת החרש אחר שלא ישמע ולא יכאב בו שלא יהיה בזה חטא, הנה הודיענו שהוא אסור והזהיר ממנו, כי התורה לא הקפידה בענין המקולל לבד אבל הקפידה גם כן בענין המקלל לבד כשהזהיר שלא יניע נפשו לנקימה ולא ירגיל לכעוס

Kol Kisvei Chofetz Chaim

Iggeres HaRamban

תִּתְנַהֵג תָּמִיד לְדַבֵּר כָּל דְּבָרֶיךָ בְּנַחַת, לְכָל אָדָם וּבְכָל עֵת, וּבַזֶּה תִּנָּצֵל מִן הַכַּעַס, שֶׁהִיא מִדָּה רָעָה לְהַחְטִיא בְּנֵי אָדָם. וְכֵן אָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ ז"ל (נדרים כב ע"א): כָּל הַכּוֹעֵס – כָּל מִינֵי גֵיהִנּוֹם שׁוֹלְטִים בּוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (קהלת יא י): "וְהָסֵר כַּעַס מִלִּבֶּךָ, וְהַעֲבֵר רָעָה מִבְּשָׂרֶךָ". וְאֵין "רָעָה" אֶלָּא גֵיהִנּוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי טז ד): "וְגַם רָשָׁע לְיוֹם רָעָה".

וְכַאֲשֶׁר תִּנָּצֵל מִן הַכַּעַס, תַּעֲלֶה עַל לִבְּךָ מִדַּת הָעֲנָוָה, שֶׁהִיא מִדָּה טוֹבָה מִכָּל מִדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי כב ד): "עֵקֶב עֲנָוָה, יִרְאַת ה'".

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We previously mentioned it would have been thought one would give up his life rather than flatter a wicked person because it appears as if he's falsifying by approving of this person. However there are two types of flattery: condoning the actual forbidden act and giving honor to the person. In the former scenario one would in fact be required to give up his life, in the latter he just implies his actions are allowed that which indirectly condones the prohibition would not require one to give up his life. This responsum was in the context of honoring a questionable person for a dinner, in which case he concludes that since everyone knows honoring the person does not condone his personal life it would be permissible, although perhaps not ideal.

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The Chofetz Chaim makes an astounding statement: "That a person is obliged to put himself in danger rather than flatter someone"!? The Gemora in Sotah says anyone who flatters his friend goes to purgatory for it, however Tosfos explains that's only when there is NO danger. Rav Moshe Feinstein asks why should flattery be any different from any other transgression in which case you never have to put yourself in danger, isn't it obvious? Why did Tosfos even bring it up and prove it from another Gemora? Rav Moshe explains based on a Yam Shel Shlomo that a person is required to give up his life rather than falsify the Torah (categorized as denying the Torah), therefore we would think that when praising a wicked person it implies their view of the Torah agrees with that lifestyle and that is false.

Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Lavin)

וְעַל עִנְיָן כָּזֶה שַׁיָּךְ מַה שֶּׁנֶּאֱמַר (משלי כ"ג ב'): ''וְשַׂמְתָּ סַכִּין בְּלֹעֶךָ אִם בַּעַל נֶפֶשׁ אָתָּה'', וְחַיָּב אָדָם לִמְסֹר עַצְמוֹ לַסַכָּנָה, וְאַל יַשִּׂיא אֶת נַפְשׁוֹ עֲוֹן אַשְׁמָה כָּזֶה.

Sotah 41b

ואמר רבי אלעזר  כל אדם שיש בו חנופה נופל בגיהנם שנא' (ישעיהו ה, כ) הוי האומרים לרע טוב ולטוב רע וגו' מה כתיב אחריו לכן כאכל קש לשון אש וחשש להבה ירפה וגו'

Tosfos Ibid

כל המחניף לחבירו -  יש לפרש שלא במקום סכנה אבל במקום סכנה מותר כי ההיא דפרק ארבעה נדרים

Igros Moshe OC II - 51

Yam Shel Shlomo - Bava Kamma 38

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Perhaps a less known prohibition is that of flattery. The Mishnah Berurah cautions us that when analyzing our actions at night to especially pay attention to the common ones such as "flattery...etc." If a persons intention in speaking Lashon Hara is to flatter the listener by telling him negative information about his enemy then this is the serious sin of flattery which also reinforces their conflict. Even if the listener of Lashon Hara just nods his head while listening or adds very little on his own then if the reason he does it stems from trying to gain the respect of the speaker then this would also be a violation of flattery. This is a completely destructive sin because the masses see the honor being bestowed upon these wicked people and they will be drawn after them.

Mishnah Berurah 239:9

כתבו הספרים שבלילה קודם השינה נכון לאדם שיפשפש במעשיו שעשה כל היום ואם ימצא שעשה עבירה יתודה עליה ויקבל ע"ע שלא לעשותה עוד ובפרט בעונות המצויים כגון חניפות שקרים ליצנות לשה"ר וכן עון בטול תורה צריכים בדיקה ביותר

Chofetz Chaim, Introduction (Lavin)

וְלִפְעָמִים עוֹבֵר (טז) עוֹד עַל אִסוּר חֲנֻפָּה, שֶׁהוּא לְהַרְבֵּה גְּאוֹנִים (הרא"ם בעל התוספות, וגאון ורבי שלמה בן גבירול) לָאו גָּמוּר, וְהוּא לָאו (במדבר ל"ה ל"ג) דְּ''לֹא תַחֲנִיפוּ אֶת הָאָרֶץ'', כְּגוֹן, אִם מִתְכַּוֵּן בְּסִפּוּרוֹ הַלָשׁוֹן הָרָע וְהָרְכִילוּת כְּדֵי לְהַחֲנִיף לְהַשּׁוֹמֵעַ, שֶׁהוּא יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ עַל אוֹתוֹ פְּלוֹנִי שִׂנְאָה מִכְּבָר, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה יִמְצָא חֵן בְּעֵינָיו, וְהוּא עָוֹן פְּלִילִי, כִּי הַמְעַט מִמֶנּוּ, אֲשֶׁר אֵינוֹ מְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת הוֹכָחָה (שֶׁהוּא מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה דְּאוֹרַיְתָא) לְהוֹכִיחוֹ עַל הַשִּׂנְאָה אֲשֶׁר בֵּינוֹ וּבֵין חֲבֵרוֹ, אֲבָל גַּם יַחֲזִיק בְּסִפּוּרָיו אֶת הַשִּׂנְאָה אֲשֶׁר בֵּינֵיהֶם מִכְּבָר, וְעַל יָדוֹ יִשְׁנֶה בְּאִוַּלְתּוֹ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר, וְיִוָּלֵד מִזֶּה מַחְלֹקֶת חֲדָשָׁה וְעוֹד כַּמָה קִלְקוּלִים, הַשֵּׁם יִשְׁמְרֵנוּ.

Shaarei Teshuva 3:149

והמכשלות הנמצאים בכבוד הרשעים רבים וידועים. כי יש בכבודם חלול התורה והעבודה. והוא עון המכלה מנפש ועד בשר:

Kovetz Ha'aros 10:19

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