In this powerful and compassionate episode of Choosing Help, Dr. Tracy Stecker sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Jay Baffa for an honest conversation about suicidal thoughts—how common they actually are, what drives them, and, most importantly, how people can find help and hope.

Together they break down the stigma around talking about suicide, explore the emotional pain that often underlies these thoughts, and discuss why reaching out—whether to a loved one, a professional, or even a stranger—can be the first life‑saving step.

Dr. Baffa explains the “funnel” of suicide risk, the importance of understanding our emotions as information, and how problem‑solving, connection, and conversation can reduce both distress and risk.

They also address what family members and friends can do when they’re worried about someone they care about, including how to approach difficult conversations with compassion rather than judgment.

This episode emphasizes that suicidal thoughts do not last forever, that mental health waxes and wanes like any other health condition, and that support is available—no matter where you are in the journey.

If you or someone you care about is struggling, please know: you are not alone, and help is available.

Welcome to this episode of the Choosing Help podcast with Dr. Tracy Stecker and Dr. Lisham Ashrafioun, where we dive deep into the art of active listening—an essential skill for meaningful connection, especially in emotionally charged or difficult conversations. Although listening may seem simple because we do it every day, being a truly effective listener requires intentional effort and practice.

In this episode, we break down the three critical steps of active listening that engage three different “organs” to ensure you truly hear and understand the other person:

1. Use Your Ears: The first step is to genuinely hear the words being spoken without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. This means focusing your attention fully on the speaker and tuning out distractions.

2. Use Your Brain: Next, process the information thoughtfully. Reflect on what the person is saying, consider their emotions and underlying messages, and avoid immediately reacting with your own judgments or assumptions.

3. Use Your Mouth: Finally, communicate back what you heard by paraphrasing, checking for clarity, and asking gentle questions. This step slows down the conversation, confirms understanding, and invites the speaker to elaborate or correct if needed.

The hosts share real-world examples, such as a child refusing to go to school or a veteran struggling with PTSD, illustrating how active listening can open pathways for empathy, reduce conflict, and support healing. They emphasize the importance of resisting the urge to respond with advice or solutions too quickly and instead offering space for the speaker to process their feelings.

Tune in to learn how slowing down, engaging all three steps, and responding thoughtfully can transform your conversations and relationships. Whether you’re supporting a loved one or navigating tough discussions, mastering active listening powers you to connect with compassion and courage.

Join us to explore how choosing to truly listen can change everything, because when we choose help, we choose life. For additional resources, visit choosinghelp.com.

Hosted by Dr. Tracy Stecker, Choosing Help is a podcast about courage, connection, and the transformative power of asking for support. Through candid conversations, expert insights, and real-world stories, we break down stigma and open doors to understanding—because when we choose help, we choose life.

In this episode, Dr. Stecker welcomes retired Army Colonel and psychiatrist Dr. Charles Hoge, author of Once a Warrior, Always a Warrior. Together, they tackle one of the most pressing issues in mental health: why military service members and veterans often struggle to seek help. Despite their resilience and strength, many face barriers rooted in stigma, fear of career impact, and a deeply ingrained sense of self-reliance.

What you’ll discover in this episode:

• The truth behind stereotypes: Why common misconceptions about veterans—such as being “broken” or joining the military due to lack of options—are wrong.
• The hidden costs of service: How combat experiences and high-risk roles impact mental health long after deployment.
• Stigma and self-reliance: Why these powerful forces keep many from accessing care, even when they know they need it.
• Barriers to treatment: From fear of losing security clearance to concerns about being judged, we explore what really prevents help-seeking.
• Dropout dilemma: Why many who start therapy don’t stay—and what can be done to keep them engaged.
• Options beyond trauma-focused therapy: Learn about alternative approaches, including supportive therapy, interpersonal therapy, and even transcendental meditation.
• Family matters: Practical advice for loved ones who want to help without losing themselves in the process.

Dr. Hoge draws on decades of experience, including leading mental health research during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He shares actionable strategies for clinicians and families, emphasizing flexibility, choice, and collaboration in treatment. You’ll hear why finding the right therapist matters, why slowing down is okay, and how simple tools—like regulating your heartbeat during anxiety—can make a big difference.

This conversation is for anyone navigating mental health challenges, supporting a veteran, or simply curious about how we can create a culture of compassion and courage. If you’ve ever wondered, “What happens when I ask for help?”—this episode is for you.

Join our community committed to understanding and healing. Explore resources at choosinghelp.com, subscribe for future episodes, and share this conversation with someone who needs to hear it. Because when we choose help, we choose life.

In this episode, Dr. Tracy Stecker and Dr. Nicholas Allen dive deep into the science of anxiety and its many forms. They unpack the concept of anxiety sensitivity—a heightened fear of bodily sensations—and explore how it drives avoidance behaviors that disrupt daily life. Dr. Allen shares evidence-based treatments, including exercise programs and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques like interoceptive exposure, which help individuals confront and manage feared sensations.

The conversation also tackles social anxiety and its unique challenges, from fear of judgment to intolerance of uncertainty. Learn how CBT strategies, gradual exposure, and cognitive reframing can empower individuals to reduce anxiety sensitivity, face uncertainty, and reclaim their lives. Whether you’re a clinician, researcher, or someone seeking practical tools for anxiety, this episode offers insights grounded in science and hope.

Chronic pain affects nearly 20% of adults in the U.S., but its impact goes far beyond physical discomfort. In this episode of Choosing Help, Dr. Tracy Stecker sits down with Dr. Lisham Ashrafioun to explore the powerful—and often overlooked—connection between chronic pain and social disconnection. Together, they unpack how loneliness and isolation influence brain chemistry, worsen health outcomes, and increase risks for depression and even suicide.

You’ll learn why psychosocial interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) are essential, how the biopsychosocial model is changing pain management, and practical strategies to help people reclaim their lives. Whether you’re living with chronic pain, supporting someone who is, or simply curious about the science behind resilience, this conversation offers hope, insight, and actionable steps.

Tune in and discover why choosing help is one of the most powerful decisions you can make.