Choosing Us

When Folding Laundry Almost Broke a Marriage

What happens when two people love each other deeply but speak completely different emotional languages? Brad and Michaela Draper of "Choosing Us" lived that confusion firsthand, and their story is both funny and genuinely eye-opening.

In their 13-year marriage, Brad's primary love language is acts of service while Michaela's is physical touch. The tension came to a head in a moment that perfectly captures how well-meaning couples miss each other entirely: Brad folded laundry upstairs while Michaela sat downstairs wanting to cuddle. Both were trying to show love. Neither felt it.

Understanding love languages transformed everything for them. Through teaching a prison program class on the topic, they came to see how each person both gives and receives affection differently, and how those preferences shift with life circumstances, hormones, and growing families. (They also had some relatable trouble adjusting to new iPhones, which, honestly, same.)

Importantly, they stress that love languages change over time, they're not fixed traits but evolving needs. Their insights extend beyond marriage to children, friendships, and all meaningful relationships.

If you have ever felt unloved despite someone clearly trying, this episode might explain exactly why.
Tune in to "Choosing Us" and let Brad and Michaela show you how to finally speak someone's language.


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150 Episodes and Still Going Strong

Incredibly, reaching episode 150 puts The Drapers in the top five percent of all podcasts since most shows don't survive past episode twenty. That milestone alone makes this episode worth your time. Michaela and Brad recorded this one late into the night, exhausted but committed, because keeping promises matters even when life gets messy.

What does it actually look like to keep a marriage thriving through sick kids, morning routine battles, and a deeply inconvenient stomach bug hitting three children on different days? (The "double dragon" phenomenon they describe is as chaotic as it sounds.) This episode gets into all of it with honesty and humor.

In nearly three years of consistent content, the Drapers have built something real: a show that has grown alongside their work teaching in prisons, which has become their actual weekly date night. Their central message is clear and worth repeating: relationships don't just drift, they require constant intentional effort or couples slowly become roommates instead of best friends.

Can a conversation about diaper pails and trash bags half-left in the garage genuinely strengthen your marriage? Surprisingly, yes.

From morning routines to grace under pressure, this episode is a reminder that the small things are never really small. Listen to episode 150 of Choosing Us now.


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Choosing Us: Why Doing Less Could Save Your Relationship

Surprisingly, the secret to a stronger marriage might be as simple as a walk in the park and homemade popcorn. The Drapers, hosts of Choosing Us, have spent 13 years figuring out what actually makes relationships thrive, and their answer might challenge everything you think you know about date nights.

What if the pressure to make everything bigger and better is actually working against you?
Starting out at $14 per hour, the Drapers made real sacrifices to afford modest dinners at places like Zupas and Olive Garden. Now spending over $100 at sushi restaurants, they've come to realize that the dollar amount was never the point. Meaningful connection, real and genuine closeness, was always built in the simpler moments.

Because when life piles on (mortgages, aging grandparents, endless responsibilities), the instinct is to add more effort rather than subtract. Inspired by Robin Sharma, one speaker even built a daily 15 to 25 minute afternoon nap into his executive schedule, doubling down on rest instead of grinding harder. Their coach reinforces this: rest must counterbalance added stress.

Cutting from fifty commitments to twenty-five lets you invest deeply where it counts most.

Tune into this episode for a genuinely refreshing reminder that doing less can mean living better.

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Choosing Us: Why Sexual Intimacy Could Be Making or Breaking Your Marriage

What if neglecting sexual intimacy is quietly turning your marriage into a glorified roommate situation? The Drapers, hosts of "Choosing Us," are breaking generational silence around bedroom conversations and making a compelling case for why this topic deserves an honest look.

After over twelve years of marriage, the Drapers openly share how their intimate connection has actually improved over time through honest, ongoing communication. Frequently, couples fall into repetitive routines that inevitably lead to boredom, and the Drapers argue this is avoidable with intentional effort. They get refreshingly specific, including sending detailed flirty texts throughout the day and introducing something as simple as silk pajamas from Amazon to shift the energy from parental roles to something more playful and connected.

Beyond the bedroom, they frame intimacy not as a transactional act but as a genuine form of communication that strengthens every other part of a relationship. (The comparison to brushing teeth with the opposite hand is unexpectedly perfect here.) They also explore how changing environments, whether hotel stays or simply moving to a different room, keeps both partners mentally present rather than distracted.

Clearly, this episode covers real, practical ground that most relationship conversations avoid entirely. Tune in to hear the full conversation with the Drapers on "Choosing Us."


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Brad and Michaela speak directly to their experinces with holidays and birthdays. They reference tradions and how to create your own, unique traditions, different from what you grew up with.

The Drapers talk about merging ideas of how holidays should be experienced and Michaela talks about her love for holidays and Brad's lack thereof. Michaela also speaks directly to her birthday this year and how it absolutely did not go according to plan. What would you do if you had jury duty on your birthday?

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When Summer Breaks You: Choosing Happiness Anyway

Completely losing your grip on family routine can unravel even the most patient parents. The Drapers, hosts of "Choosing Us," open up about a summer that genuinely tested them, sharing how three kids without structure created emotional chaos for the whole household. The biggest culprit? Managing their baby's nap schedule, which kept the older boys cooped up and quiet indoors for long stretches, leading to constant discipline battles.

What makes this episode worth your time goes beyond parenting logistics. The Drapers explore something deeper and more universally useful: the deliberate choice to be happy regardless of circumstances. One speaker reflects on how her partner's calm approach to setbacks slowly shaped her into a less reactive, more resilient person. That kind of gradual personal growth is worth sitting with.

Can you actually train yourself to choose joy when everything feels hard?

Honestly, the answer they offer here is both simple and surprisingly hard to practice. (The tip about forcing a smile to shift your emotional state sounds almost too easy, yet they make a compelling case for it.) Reframing obstacles as opportunities for growth, processing emotions without amplifying negativity, these ideas repeat throughout the episode because they genuinely matter.
Tune into "Choosing Us" and let this conversation shift your perspective today.


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When Your Spouse Is Your Biggest Audience

Rarely does a pool party reveal something profound about marriage, but that is exactly what happened to Brad Draper in this deeply relatable episode of Choosing Us. After jumping off a 15-foot cliff and climbing an 18-foot wet rope, Brad realized he was not performing for the crowd. He was performing for one person: his wife, Michaela.

What does it mean to truly show up for your partner, and not just for external validation?
Approaching their 13-year anniversary, Brad and Michaela unpack how small, consistent gestures keep a long-term relationship alive and exciting. From late-night conversations about goals and dreams to intentional flirting, they share how they have rebuilt and maintained their spark. (It turns out impressing your spouse matters more than impressing anyone else in the room.) Their son's courageous cliff jump, which inspired other kids including their four-year-old to follow, mirrors the same truth in parenting: courage and influence ripple outward from those we love most.

Continuously and deliberately, the Drapers nurture romance, friendship, and honest communication as separate but equally essential layers of their bond.

If you want a marriage that feels like both a love story and a best friendship, listen to this episode now.


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Choosing Joy When Life Gets Messy

What if happiness has nothing to do with your circumstances? The Drapers, hosts of Choosing Us, make a compelling case that joy is a daily decision, not a destination you arrive at when things finally calm down. It's a choice you make right now, in the middle of the chaos.

Frankly, the T-Pain story alone is worth your time. He went from earning $40 million as a successful R&B artist to severe depression and financial ruin, before rebuilding his life through professional gaming and reconnecting with what actually mattered to him. It's a powerful reminder that wealth and fame simply don't guarantee happiness.

Because the Drapers (Brad and Michaela) have lived through their own financial and emotional struggles, they speak to these ideas with real honesty. They describe taking turns being the emotionally strong partner while the other processes difficult feelings, a balanced system that keeps the relationship moving forward. Like pedaling a bike, a marriage requires constant effort, not just during hard seasons but especially during good ones.

(They also identify as fire signs, Aries and Leo, which honestly tracks for this level of energy.)
The Drapers stress that choosing your life partner is the single most consequential decision you will ever make. Tune in to hear why that choice shapes everything else.

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Raising Kids Who Can Actually Handle the Real World

Consistently following through on consequences might be the single most powerful parenting tool you have. When Brad and Mikayla of Choosing Us share how their young son told a friend that his dad would absolutely follow through on discipline, it becomes clear that children are paying much closer attention than we think.

In this third round of their parenting series, the Drapers tackle the hard questions around gentle parenting, boundaries, and emotional regulation. Mikayla leans softer while Brad favors tough love, and together they make a compelling case for "high warmth, high boundaries" parenting, validating feelings while still holding the line. They hold the line, even when it's uncomfortable.

What does it actually look like to leave the park without a meltdown? The answer involves countdown warnings, natural consequences, and never making empty threats (because kids remember everything, like an elephant trained as a baby).

Practically, they discuss repeating instructions only once or twice before consequences kick in, and how parents who consistently enforce boundaries raise more resilient, respectful children.
Are you parenting out of habit, or are you parenting with purpose?

Listen to this episode and start raising your kids more consciously.


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Raising Kids Who Wake Up at 5 A.M. (And Actually Love It)

Rarely do parents talk this openly about breaking cycles they never meant to carry forward. In this episode of "Choosing Us," the Drapers get real about modern parenting, from resisting smartphone pressure to confronting inherited habits like yelling that they never wanted to pass on to their kids.
What makes this conversation genuinely compelling is how practical it gets. The Draper children wake naturally at 5 a.m., inspired by watching their father rise at 4:30 a.m. daily. Before most families are even stirring, these kids are moving, playing, and learning. That kind of influence doesn't come from lectures. It comes from living it out loud. (The smoothie story alone is worth the listen.)

Can children really absorb nutrition knowledge, emotional regulation, and work ethic simply by watching their parents? The Drapers believe the answer is a clear yes, and they back it up with specific moments from their own home.

Because children learn by observing rather than being told, the Drapers argue that every parental habit is a lesson being taught in real time, whether parents intend it or not.

If you're navigating the messy, rewarding work of raising kids in today's world, this episode is worth your time. Listen now.

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