Why Your Parents' Relationship Might Be Sabotaging Your Marriage
Here's something you probably haven't thought about lately: the patterns you witnessed growing up are quietly running your relationship right now. Brad and Michaela Draper dive into the uncomfortable truth about inherited relationship behaviors and why waiting for the "perfect time" to work on your marriage is basically just an excuse.

Recording while caring for their newborn (because life doesn't pause for podcasts), the Drapers get real about physical attraction over time. Brad shares how he's actually more attracted to his wife now than years ago, pointing to his nearly-seventy-year-old parents as proof that attraction can deepen with age. The catch? It requires intentional effort—staying fit, showing up groomed, and consistently dating your spouse.

They explore how bodies change through parenthood and aging, yet attraction doesn't have to diminish if you're both putting in the work. Brad even simplified his grooming routine to a shaved head and trimmed beard to save time while still making an effort. (Efficiency meets intentionality.)
Through meaningful conversations about family backgrounds and seeking healthy relationship examples from books, movies, and mentors, you can rewire what's possible in your own partnership. Breaking negative cycles demands consistent action, not excuses.

Ready to audit your relationship habits and prioritize what truly matters?
Tune in for practical wisdom on building lasting connection through daily choices.

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When your spouse says "just a minute" and returns thirty minutes later, does that count as a lie or just a miscommunication?

The Drapers tackle this exact scenario in their latest conversation about Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements and how they apply to marriage. Being impeccable with your word isn't just about grand promises (it's also about those small daily commitments like callbacks and time estimates). They share how Brad's showerhead repair spiraled from "a minute" to much longer due to tangled Teflon tape, creating frustration not from the delay itself but from unmet expectations.

The real breakthrough? Recognizing that miscommunication stems from different perspectives rather than intentional deception. Michaela explains how she addressed the pattern constructively instead of staying irritated, while Brad learned that good intentions don't erase impact. Throughout, they emphasize that reception matters more than delivery in intimate relationships—both parties need validation, not just justifications.

From juggling podcast production with a newborn to navigating everyday conflicts, the Drapers demonstrate that doing difficult things strengthens relationships. They stress approaching disagreements as collaborative problem-solving opportunities rather than blame games, proving that perseverance and tactful communication matter even when circumstances feel overwhelming.

Tune in to hear how these ancient principles transform modern marriage dynamics.


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When the Drapers started planning their first Masogi, a year-defining difficult activity completed during winter's slack season, Brad was shocked to learn he'd be tackling it as a team. What began as nighttime 35-mile endurance walks evolved into marathon-distance family events where even their newborn joined in a stroller. (Michaela and their children have consistently surprised Brad during final stretches to remind him he's not alone.)

The tradition now includes a sunset-to-sunrise walk lasting 15 hours, rotating locations annually. Instead of focusing purely on distance, the Drapers emphasize the mental toughness required to endure such difficulty together. They plan to invite their children around age eight or nine, teaching them that struggle builds confidence and resilience. A former SEAL Team 6 member's family completing the event together proved how shared hardship strengthens family bonds.

Why do typical holiday customs rarely create the same lasting impact as purposeful challenges?
As Aristotle taught, self-control requires self-knowledge. By consistently improving yourself and maintaining high standards, your spouse and children naturally aspire to do the same. Personal growth becomes a collective endeavor when you lead by example in fitness, nutrition, spirituality, or other areas.

Tune in to discover how the Drapers navigate parenting three young children while building these core family memories through shared perseverance.

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When it comes to New Year's resolutions, most people abandon them within days.
The Drapers tackle why this happens and what actually works instead (spoiler: it's not just writing a wish list). Breaking goals into daily actionable steps matters far more than grand January declarations, they explain. Supporting your partner's goals means understanding exactly what those goals are and the specific steps they're taking to achieve them.

Here's a concrete example: helping with grocery selections aligned with fitness objectives. That's real partnership. They also discuss how they avoid keeping trigger foods like Oreos at home to prevent self-sabotage. Without clear long-term targets—whether one-year, three-year, or ten-year goals—effort becomes meaningless. Having a written plan enables you to pivot strategically when life changes, rather than reacting chaotically.

What are you trading what you want most for in this moment? The Drapers stress removing negative influences, whether unhelpful people, toxic environments, or undermining habits. They share their own tradition: setting goals together over gelato, discussing how to support each other across fitness, finances, spiritual, and emotional well-being. True happiness comes from prioritizing experiences with family over accumulating possessions.

Ready to start the year aligned with your partner?


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When a newborn forces you to slow down, something unexpected happens. The Drapers discovered that stripping away the holiday chaos revealed what Christmas was really about all along (and it wasn't the endless shopping lists or packed schedules). After years of financial stress during the season, they're now celebrating simply with their family, choosing to skip the Santa promotion entirely and focus on Christ-centered values instead.

Here's the question that changed everything for them:Are you directing your energy toward what truly matters this holiday season, or just toward what's expected?

Their six-year-old remains playfully skeptical about their Santa explanation, but the Drapers recently experienced genuine magic while embodying Santa at a children's party. They're learning that kids don't remember the expensive gifts—those are forgotten quickly—but they remember simple traditions like Michaela's cinnamon rolls and childhood wassail rituals. Through shared experiences and quality time, these small moments become core memories.

The tension many fathers face is real: providing materially versus being emotionally available. But children who grow up without parental presence won't suddenly value time with their parents later, regardless of available resources then. Simple activities like living room picnics, board games, or park dates create lasting impressions that elaborate trips never could.

Listen to discover how choosing presence over presents transforms relationships.

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Starting the year with chaos and hardship, the Drapers discovered something counterintuitive: real happiness isn't waiting at the end of some perfect journey. Their 2025 has been exceptionally challenging, yet they've found profound fulfillment by choosing joy even when circumstances suggest otherwise.

Through years of intentional practice (over a decade, actually), Brad and Michaela have learned to communicate with brutal honesty wrapped in love. When Brad points out Michaela's interrupting habit or tells an entrepreneur his pricing won't work, it's not criticism—it's clarity, which they've learned is one of the kindest gifts you can offer. This directness surprises the incarcerated women they work with, who rarely witness healthy relationship dynamics where partners help each other grow without defensiveness.

What does it take to accept constructive feedback from your partner without getting defensive?
The couple emphasizes that communication isn't one-size-fits-all. Just as their sensitive son needs gentle explanations while his brother responds to stern corrections, different people require tailored approaches. Adapting your tone and delivery demonstrates genuine respect, not inauthenticity.
Their key insight? True contentment comes from finding joy when you have nothing—that foundation allows you to appreciate abundance when it arrives. Happiness is a choice, not a destination dependent on external circumstances.

Tune in to hear how leaning on each other during hardship has transformed their partnership from carefully managing emotions to genuine vulnerability.

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Relationship Maintenance During Life's Demanding Seasons

When a new baby arrives, even the strongest relationships face challenges that test established connection routines. The Drapers are experiencing this firsthand with their baby girl, navigating sleep deprivation and a reversed day-night cycle while their weekly date nights sit temporarily on pause. (It's the reality most new parents know too well.)

Surprisingly, rebuilding relationship connection takes just as long as it took to let things deteriorate—think of reviving a struggling houseplant or returning to fitness after months away. Many couples neglect their partnership during busy seasons, sometimes for years, only to feel like roommates. When they finally decide to reconnect, they expect instant results after just weeks of effort, but relationships don't work that way.

What does it take to rekindle that initial spark? Returning to the basics matters: dating regularly, sending sweet messages, and showing consistent care. The transformation demands sustained commitment over weeks and months, not overnight fixes. Communication becomes critical here—partners must have honest conversations about their desires rather than suddenly changing behavior without explanation.

How would you describe your ideal relationship? Write down your vision, discuss it openly with your partner, and take manageable steps together toward that shared goal.

Ready to strengthen your connection? Listen to the full episode for practical strategies to prioritize your relationship, even during life's most demanding phases.


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New Parents, Old Wisdom

When their sons reminded them about the Christmas tree, the Drapers realized something profound: their children's priorities matter just as much as their own. With a newborn in the house and three older kids running around (plus one struggling middle-child dog), life has become beautifully chaotic. They're now completing only about seventy-five percent of their daily to-do lists, and honestly, that's okay.

Brad shares his cherished evening routine—spending quiet, non-verbal moments with his daughter before bed. This time around, unlike during his previous children's births, he's grateful to balance business responsibilities with hands-on parenting. How different would our relationships look if we prioritized these small connections?

The couple practices focus gazing, a mindfulness technique where you study something small (like a leaf) for five to ten minutes to sharpen attention and reduce stress. They've also adapted their date nights to include prison ministry work together. Through extended hugs, brief cuddles, and acknowledging each other's contributions, they're intentionally drifting closer rather than apart.
In the relentless pace of modern life, we often miss what truly matters. The Drapers remind us that tomorrow isn't guaranteed—today is unique and worth savoring.

Ready to slow down and reconnect with what matters most?


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In this episode, Brad and Michaela discuss the impact and power of having gratitude. Being the week of Thanksgiving, they felt it was imperative to discuss having love and gratitude within the home and in your relationship.

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Honestly, the most powerful thing about this episode might be what happens when two exhausted people choose to show up for each other anyway. The Drapers are navigating the final days before their baby arrives while simultaneously restarting their business after fourteen months—and they're pulling back the curtain on what intimacy actually looks like when life gets messy.

Here's what might surprise you: they're not talking about romance in the traditional sense. Instead, they break down how true intimacy encompasses emotional, spiritual, and energetic connection that extends far beyond the bedroom. (Foot rubs and extended cuddles count, apparently.) With Michaela experiencing pregnancy complications and both partners stretched thin, they discuss how small, consistent acts of service create meaningful bonds even when grand gestures aren't possible.

The episode challenges a common assumption—that intimacy naturally happens when you love someone. The Drapers argue otherwise, emphasizing that healthy relationships require intentional action, not just good intentions. They share practical advice: start each day asking how you can serve your spouse, prioritize date nights even during challenging seasons, and extend grace when postpartum affects both partners.

When did you last intentionally pursue intimacy in all its forms?

Tune in for an honest conversation about staying connected when everything else demands your attention.

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