Choosing Us

You Are Who You Surround Yourself WithImagine sitting at a pool party with a wealthy real estate developer, only to have your dinner suggestions completely dismissed in favor of luxury steakhouse chains. That humbling moment changed everything for the Drapers.

Best friends and married couple Michaela and her husband open up about their early marriage struggles, from living in their parents' basement to moving into an apartment they genuinely could not afford. (The Fleming's dinner story alone is worth the listen.) Slowly, intentionally, they began surrounding themselves with more ambitious people, and that shift rewired how they thought about money, relationships, and success.

Are you the lighthouse guiding people forward, or the tugboat quietly dragging them down?
Drawing from their twelve-year marriage, the Drapers explore how the company you keep shapes your mindset in ways that are easy to miss. They talk about moving from constant complaining to genuine problem-solving together, and how their closest friends, ranging from bankrupt entrepreneurs to billionaires, all share one thing: they ask "what's next?" instead of comparing and grumbling.

Clearly, auditing your social circle is not a one-time event. It is an ongoing, evolving practice.
Tune in and start thinking differently about who you keep close.


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Finding Your Footing: Intentional Motherhood and the Power of PartnershipRarely does a conversation about motherhood feel this honest and this grounding all at once. In this episode, the Drapers and their guests get real about what it means to parent with purpose, not perfection.

Five months postpartum with her third child, one mother describes feeling like she's "treading water" without routine or direction. That image alone captures something so many parents feel but rarely name out loud. What does it actually look like to stop treading water and start swimming with intention?

Practically, the answer involves small but significant shifts. Phone-free mornings at breakfast and evenings at dinner became the family's starting point for reconnecting. (It sounds simple, but anyone who's tried it knows the resistance is real.) Her husband Brad initially pushed back, yet he came around, noting that children adapt quickly while adults resist most.

Slowly, the conversation deepens into something more personal. One speaker shares how her father's inattention during her childhood dance performances shaped her fears about presence and parenting, showing how awareness of old wounds can actually fuel better family systems today.
Intentional gift-giving also gets a beautiful spotlight, including a personalized moon picture frame honoring the night a mother's journey began.

Tune in to hear the full, honest, and heartfelt conversation.


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Choosing Us: Showing Up Every Day, Even When It's Hard

Consistently choosing your partner, even on your hardest days, might be the most radical relationship act you can do. The Drapers from Choosing Us get real about what it actually means to show up, authentically and imperfectly, in marriage and life.

What does it look like when your best keeps changing? The couple explores how comparison and self-judgment quietly erode progress, especially during major life transitions like postpartum recovery. They share how their relationship could easily slip into two people living separate lives, becoming disconnected roommates, if they stopped making daily intentional effort. Small gestures like saying "I love you," expressing gratitude, and genuine check-ins matter more than grand romantic statements.

The episode digs into how people continuously evolve through phases from marriage to parenthood to personal growth, and partners who ignore that evolution often find themselves feeling like strangers. The Drapers highlight how Brad's grace during postpartum recovery demonstrates exactly the kind of adaptability that deepens intimacy over time.

Genuinely, one of the most compelling parts is their focus on modeling this for their kids (because children absorb everything). By allowing children to witness respectful disagreements and daily affection, they're teaching the next generation what love actually looks like in practice.
Tune in and start choosing your relationship differently today.

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Keeping Promises When You're Running on Empty

Honestly, the most powerful moment in this episode comes down to a simple choice: show up tired or cancel. The Drapers, hosts of "Choosing Us," chose to show up and took their sons to a pump track after school despite being exhausted and pressed for time. That decision ripples into something much bigger than an afternoon bike ride.

What does it actually teach our kids when we follow through even when we don't feel like it?
Consistently, the Drapers make the case that children are always watching and absorbing everything, always observing far more than we realize. Brad completing his nearby workout while honoring the family commitment perfectly illustrates their philosophy: model the life you want your kids to eventually choose. From mountain biking to girls' nights out, they argue that pursuing personal hobbies alongside parenting responsibilities shows children that adulthood includes genuine joy, not just obligation.

In the trenches of daily parenting, they also address something refreshingly honest: knowing what to do and actually doing it are completely different things (for kids and adults alike). Patience, repetition, and leading by example bridge that gap.

If you want practical, lived-in wisdom about raising resilient, curious kids while staying true to yourself, this episode is absolutely worth your time.


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Choosing Us: Family Trips, Messy Marriages, and Why Struggles Make You Stronger

Rarely does a single episode cover sand-filled arches, prison ministry, and marriage advice with this much heart. The Drapers are back with a raw, honest conversation that challenges the idea that life should feel easy or comfortable.

Their spring break trip to Moab with three kids, including a baby, could have been a logistical nightmare. Instead, by simply letting the kids set the pace and play freely, the family discovered that simplicity creates the memories that actually stick. (It turns out pool time can be just as meaningful as any planned excursion.) They remember trips from childhood, not presents, and they want the same for their children.

What does it actually look like to build a marriage that others admire? The Drapers get honest about their rocky start at nineteen, poor communication, and unresolved patterns they carried in. Growth came slowly, through consistent effort and a service-oriented mindset, asking how to uplift a spouse rather than what to receive. Their marriage remains imperfect, beautifully and genuinely imperfect, and that honesty is exactly the point.

Vulnerability, shared struggles, and real failures teach children far more than a polished performance ever could.

Tune in to hear the full conversation.


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Survival Mode and Independence 
The Drapers are navigating life with a four-month-old while their two older kids adjust to a non-traditional school—and honestly, they're just trying to keep their heads above water. (Sleep deprivation is real, folks.) Their four-year-old son initially claimed he "couldn't" do basic tasks like putting on shoes or blowing his nose, when really he just didn't want to try. Teachers at his new school spent thirty minutes patiently guiding him through these tasks rather than simply doing them for him, demonstrating how persistence builds genuine capability and confidence.

Drawing from his own childhood where he packed lunches and did chores, one host realizes he's been inadvertently teaching his kids that avoiding responsibility works. Around age four, children can actually accomplish quite a bit when parents resist the urge to step in immediately. This same principle extends beyond parenting: doing everything for a spouse can create unhealthy complacency rather than partnership. What happens when both people view household management as a true team effort?


The key lesson? Teaching independence—whether to children or within a relationship—requires patience, but it builds the foundation for genuine partnership and self-reliance.
Ready to hear more about choosing partnership during life's most challenging seasons?


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Have you ever wondered where self-love actually ranks on your list of life's priorities? The Drapers dive into this transformative question after a recent home emergency involving a burning smell and a failed heater motor reminded them how crucial it is to trust your instincts (Mikaela's quick thinking to call 911 saved the day). 

Through honest reflection, one speaker shares the eye-opening moment of realizing she hadn't even placed herself on her list of things she loves. Despite investing time in her body, mind, and spirit, she discovered that self-love must be consciously acknowledged and prioritized—it's the foundation for loving others. Now navigating postpartum changes, she's learning how self-love adapts across different life seasons.

Drawing from 23 years of gym experience, they've witnessed how transformative body changes ripple into relationships, work, and community engagement. Inspired by Jesus's wilderness retreat, they argue we must build ourselves up to give our best, not our leftovers. After all, when you're healthy, energized, and happy through proper nutrition and exercise, you bring higher quality presence to your relationships. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it actually enables you to show up better for everyone around you.

Tune in to discover how prioritizing yourself transforms every relationship in your life.


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When your four-year-old asks for a pizza date, you know something's working. The Drapers aren't just talking about relationship priorities—they're living them with four kids, packed sports schedules, and the kind of chaos that makes "me time" feel like a distant memory.

Here's what strikes me about their approach: they've been together twelve years, and they're still showing up for each other, even during postpartum recovery when everything feels impossible. They swap childcare with neighbors, tackle undesirable tasks first thing (so the good stuff gets protected), and bought amusement park season passes specifically for dating. That's the kind of creative problem-solving that actually works.

But how often do we assume our partners know we appreciate them without actually saying it? The Drapers learned this lesson from an AI mentor who challenged them to verbalize gratitude more intentionally. (Sometimes wisdom comes from unexpected places.) Without regular watering and nurturing, they warn, you risk becoming disconnected roommates rather than partners—a reality too many couples face when life gets overwhelming.

Their kids are watching everything, learning what love looks like when it's prioritized consistently, not just when circumstances align perfectly.
Ready to hear how they make it work?


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Celebrating two nights of their three-month-old sleeping eight to nine hours feels amazing, but the Drapers know better than to expect it to last. (That dreaded four to five month sleep regression is lurking around the corner.) The hosts of "Choosing Us" dive into why unrealistic expectations can sabotage your relationship and how comparing your marriage to Hollywood's version nearly derailed theirs in the early days.

What happens when you stop trying to make your relationship fit someone else's mold?
Over twelve-plus years together, the Drapers learned that authentic partnerships require grace and flexibility, especially during challenging seasons like the eighteen months of pregnancy and postpartum they recently navigated. Michaela discusses her current postpartum journey three months in, managing hormonal shifts and nutrient deficiencies from breastfeeding while Brad reaches peak fitness. His supportive approach—accepting her day-to-day fluctuations without rigid expectations—has been crucial. Meanwhile, Brad reflects on taking all three kids to a birthday party to give Michaela rest, a decision that prompted surprising praise from other parents who rarely see partners actively supporting each other.

The episode emphasizes recognizing life's natural ebbs and flows rather than resisting them. *Just as a saw blade needs ridges and dips to function*, relationships need rough patches to appreciate smooth ones.

Ready to examine the expectations you're placing on yourself and your partner? This conversation might shift your entire perspective.


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How do couples navigate intimacy when hormones turn everything upside down? The Drapers open up about a reality many new parents face but few discuss openly. Three months postpartum, their intimate dynamics have completely reversed—roles they've held for years suddenly flipped because of hormonal shifts that can last up to twelve months (and full recovery can take two years).

Michaela, who historically initiated physical connection, now experiences diminished desire due to postpartum hormones and gender-specific pregnancy effects. Meanwhile, Brad's hormone cycle has shifted, making him the pursuer for the first time in their relationship. Initially, they struggled with role reversal and fear of rejection. (It's harder than you'd think when the script suddenly changes.) But they've discovered something crucial: understanding each other's hormonal realities and adjusting expectations for this season is essential to maintaining connection.

The invisible nature of postpartum recovery makes it difficult for many women to give themselves compassion during this period, even though the body undergoes profound internal changes. Brad shares how experiencing both sides of desire—being wanted and being the one not in the mood—builds empathy and gratitude, allowing couples to support each other through difficult seasons.

Ready to hear how honest communication about changing desires can strengthen your connection during life's transitions? Listen to the full episode.


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