Chopping Wood Inside: The Twin Peaks Podcast for Conspiracy Theorists

Putting their minds to the #3 electrical socket, Murph and Hawk discuss the mysteries that are probably best left unsolved in Twin Peaks: The Return. The questions that, to quote Leo Johnson, "You don't need to know."

Murph, Hawk jump over the moon with Mr. Strawberry in a Part 5 rewind that'll kill ya.

Murph and Hawk venture inside the sewn eyelids of the mysterious Naido to discuss the synchronized time nuggets hidden in Parts 3, 8 & 18, and whether our cosmic heroine-martyr from another dimension is really Diane, or Judy pulling da strings. 24:19 24:19 24:19=253=10

Murph and Hawk drink full and descend into the new Twin Peaks Blu-ray, reveling in the mystery of Lynch's creative process, and throwing their conspiratorial minds to finding clues hidden in the 8 hours of extras. It's a beautiful thing, Buster!

Back from their sojourn in the Fireman's Mansion, Murph and Hawk burn the midnight scorched engine oil to discuss the crazy "dreamer" subplot in Part 17, and the series finale.

Murph and Hawk spend a rousing hour unstuck in time between two worlds of our Twin Peaks Gods (Lord Lynch and St. Frost) to discuss where we go from here now that Frost has muddied the theoretical waters with The Final Dossier. Did time-travelling Cooper really retcon Laura's murder out of existence? Is our Cooper is "The Dreamer" Black Lodge theory still in play? Can both of these theories co-exist? Where does Hawk's "Laura is the ordained martyr theory" fall into this metaphysical jigsaw puzzle? Is Sarah Palmer the only Judy? Or is there an army of Judy Children wreaking havoc around the world? And could "the Judy's" ultimate mission be to bum rush every White Lodge portal on earth until it is so full of tainted holes that Earth becomes the Black Lodge and we get (gulp) a Bob-like demon wearing an Owl Ring as our fucking President??

Murph and Hawk spray two coats on a sprawling review of Mark Frost's new book The Final Dossier. Is this thing TP canon, or more like the ultimate fan fiction? Did Laura really not die now, for real this time? Will every character eventually end up in a mental institution? How many Pine Weasels did Ben Horne kill when building the Ghostwood Private Prison? Why was Diane's story redacted? Will Hawk ever deputize the Log? Who was Ray's contact in the Blue Rose Task Force already? And is Sarah the only character with the "Judy Face" or are there 11 more possessed bug children preparing to invade the earth in TP Season 4?

Your two favorite clown comics posit some yrev interesting new theories about the finale during a re-watch of Part 4: Did the Fireman send Laura to Peaks (in Part 8) to take out Judy? Did Coop foil the Fireman's plans by saving Laura, and rewriting history? Is Coop always one step behind the Fireman in his white knight duties? Do Wally Brando's eyes deceive him? Who really tricked Coop into Dougie-Land? Could Gordon be "the dreamer?" What's the meaning behind Mr. C's line "I've never really left home, Gordon?" at the end of Part 4? And what are the odds a Season 4 happens now that Frost and Lynch have BOTH dropped major clues?

Murph and Hawk plummet through the astral plane to search for more clues in a rewatch of Part 3: Did Laura really blow out the lights in the season finale? Is Sarah trapped in the Lodge now? Was Naido's house some kind of cosmic way station? Who tricked Cooper into that #3 portal ? Were Dougie's antics all just a Lodge trap? Is the American Girl trapped in the Lodge, too? And could Ronette have ultimately been the one who "'fell a victim" to Leland in that train car?

Murph and Hawk welcome actor Stewart Strauss (our favorite Woodsman #1) to the pod to talk about how it felt to suddenly be the scariest dude on TV, his terrifying scene in the jail cell in Part 2, what it was like to work on the iconic Parts 8, 11, and 17, Stewart's memories of the "Gotta Light" scene, plus the singular experience of working with David Lynch's megaphone, as well as other great stories from his career like working with Travolta and Sly (Stallone) on the sequel to Saturday Night Fever.