Chopping Wood Inside: The Twin Peaks Podcast for Conspiracy Theorists

Murph and Hawk go peeping in the Convenience Store to drop their hot takes on an emotion-packed Part 15: Did everyone see Sarah's face in the Jumping Man? Does "The Ballad of Norma and Ed" give us hope that love is enough? Did Stephen shoot himself out of sparkle guilt for murdering Becky in the Tremond's trailer under the #6 fucking electricity pole? Will we ever see the Log Lady making orbs in the White Lodge? And is Ruby's primal scream on the dance floor a precursor to Mother and Laura's revenge on this world full of goddamned truck drivers?

Murph and Hawk take a mind-blowing trip inside Sarah Palmer's face to preview Part 15: Is Janie-E the tulpah-doppel of Diane? Is Dougie destined to die now? Will Laura guide Coop back to the White Lodge? Is The Uncle behind this zombie infestation? Will Freddy wield his mighty glove to smite the Woodsman? Does Andy have a super power, too? Is Sarah the avenging Mother? And is Mr C. coming home to see his ma-mah, and rip Twin Peaks a new hellgate?

Dr. Hawk flies solo and gives his hot take on Part 14 while Murph hibernates in 'The Zone'. Is Sarah Palmer host to 'The Experiment' & does the Truck You t-shirt perv taste like warmed over garmonbozia? Was Andy chosen by the Fireman because of his love of cheese sandwiches? What other Monica Bellucci dreams has Cole had? WIll James get a mystical green glove for his birthday? And here's a little diddy about Janey-E and Diane...

Murph and Hawk take the Karl Rod-mobile out for a joy ride into the future to preview Part 14: Is Bob still in Mr. C? Will Major Briggs floating head "turn up" at Jack Rabbit's Palace? Why do people wear that owl ring when it's pure evil? Could sensitive Bobby survive a brush with the Black Lodge? Who would win an arm wrestling match between Mr C. and Dougie (Mr. Squeeze his arm off?) Do Dougie and Mr. C have to merge for Coop to finally wake up? Is the series going to end in a Mobius strip? And is Lynch lifting some clues from his own snakeskin Bible?

Murph and Hawk return from a lost weekend in the Mitchum Brothers conga line to give their hot takes on Part 13: Are we in the middle of a Lodge Civil War? Was the One Armed Man the mystery guard who gave Ray the Owl ring? Is Audrey trapped in a coma-induced time loop from the original series? Is Sarah trapped in some Woodsman time loop from alcoholic hell? Did Dickie Horne just see his papa (Mr. C) for the first time? And how the hell was that Bobby scene at the Double R the night he got the message from Major Briggs?? Didn't we already see that scene in Part 11??

Channeling their inner Mr. Monkeywrenches, Murph and Hawk get under the hood of this "goddamn bad story we're in" to preview Part 13: Who, or what, is in Sarah Palmer's kitchen? Did Major Briggs swallow Dougie's ring so Gordon would find it? Is Phillip Jeffries on earth or in another place? Could Diane's mystery night with Mr. C be the night Dougie was manufactured? Who sent MIriam the blue roses? And shouldn't Gordon Cole think ahead and have his Blue Rose Task Force renew their life insurance before reentering the town of Twin Peaks, just in case?

Murph and Hawk clash swords over their sky high expectations for Part 12: Why the hell is the FBI still in Buckhorn? Will the Room 315 key get back to Harry? How creepy was it to see the Palmer house again? Will Karl join the gang on their field trip to Jack Rabbit's Palace? Was Jerry being chased out of the woods by invisible Woodsman? Is Lil' Dickie Horne even Audrey's son, anymore? And could Bob already be dining on souls under Sarah Palmer's creepy ass ceiling fan?

Murph and Dr. Hawk veer into the unknown to heap Dougie-sized portions of praise on Part 11 while previewing Part 12: Is Monica Belluci the infamous Judy? Is a Twin Peaks zombie apocalypse imminent? Are the Woodsman bum-rushing all the White Lodge portals on earth? Could Chief Joseph make a cameo at Jack Rabbit's Palace? When will Sarah Palmer show up with Laura's painting? Did Diane's text lead to the Woodsman blowing Bill Hasting's head off? And when will the FBI finally tell Bobby that his dad's headless corpse was involved in the ritualistic murders of 5 people??

Murph and Hawk break out the cherry pie and champagne to offer their hot takes on Part 11: Is the entire town going insane now? Is Stephen screwing Donna Hayward's tiara-wearing sister? Is the zombie kid in the car being levitated by the woodsman? Why does Bill Hasting's exploding head emit so little blood? How did Shelly become a better stunt woman than a mother? And is Hawk's map full of Lodge magic or is he just screwing with Sheriff Truman's head??

Minds still wrapped in plastic from the first 10, Murph and Hawk break out their tinfoil hats to preview Part 11: Is Season 3 a puzzle Lynch/Frost never intended us to solve? How shitty is the police work of the Twin Peaks Police Department? What are the odds Bill Hasting's head floats away during the FBI's field trip to The Zone? Will Hawk, Bobby, and Truman pay a visit Major Briggs' old Listening Post on the way to Jack Rabbit's Palace? Is Diane a rogue agent only out for herself? And what's the Lodge's obsession with time when they live in a timeless fucking alterna-universe??