Chopping Wood Inside: The Twin Peaks Podcast for Conspiracy Theorists

There is always distorted music in the air when Murph and Dr. Hawk offer their hot take reactions to Part 10.: How insane are the Hornes? Why Does Dougie look like Ned Flanders shirtless? How big was that orgasm Dougie and Janie-E had, hey Dougie? Why is Laura's Ghost haunting Gordon Cole of all people? It's great Albert and Constance hooked up, but why does Albert still look so guilty of something? And did lil' Dickie Horne bribe the entire Twin Peaks police department to go on this unfettered killing spree?

Murph and Hawk burn the midnight scorched engine oil to celebrate Harry Dean Stanton's birthday and preview Part 10: Is Bob still with Mr. C? Is Laura really the one? Are all these Black Lodge rules written by a drunk angry dwarf? How much more Dougie can we take? Have we seen the last of Bill Hastings? Is Johnny Horne being played by his stunt double? And if Laura's the one, where da hell is she??

Murph and Hawk can't stop foraging for plot truffles from a exposition-filled Part 9: Is "The Major" an Ascending Master? Will Jerry Horne ever change his clothes? Will Bill Hastings take a field trip from prison to show Gordon Cole "The Zone?" Are Albert and Diane up to no good? And why the hell do Woodsman love to haunt states with no fucking trees? All that and more!

Still zombified from Part 8, Murph and Hawk offer their hot take reactions to the bombshell reveal Bill Hastings garmonboziad up in Part 9: Is The Major a time traveling head now? Is Jerry's foot the next arm? Did that creepy symbol on Doppelcoop's ace of spades pop up on The Major's note? How did Ruth Davenport uncover those hidden records? And why the hell is Diane receiving secret text messages from Mr. C??

Murph and Hawk forage into Jack Parson's "black box of sex magic" to posit a plethora of theories for Part 9: Is the Audrey emergency room bombshell really a red herring? Will Hawk roust Sarah out of her psychic torpor with Laura's missing diary pages? Has the Josie door nob evolved into "the chair" referenced in the episode title? And who's the worst student Twin Peaks High has ever seen: Bobby Briggs or Caleb Landry Jones? All that and more!

Murph and Hawk, minds still fully blown, dive even deeper into the epic Part 8. Where the hell are we midway through season 3?? Why does the universe love the Laura Palmer homecoming picture so damn much? Did Philip Jefferies pull a Bin Laden, and sick his Dugpa Woodsman on Evil Coop to steal back the Bob orb? Will the hilarious Kabuki Leland from FWWM show back up? And does evil Coop want to go nuclear on the entire state of Washington?? All that, and more!

Murph and Hawk continue to go full deep dive conspiracy theory on the epic mind fuck that is Part 8. Did Blue Rose start in New Mexico with the Trinity Bomb? What's up with the foreshadowing in Cole's office? Is Abraham Woodsman the new antagonist now? And when will the "Sutty Dugpa Band" ever play The Roadhouse??

Murph and Hawk give their hot takes on an insanely delightful Episode 8, the most hallucinatory episode yet. So many question: Is the immortal Evil Coop pregnant with a fully grown Bob baby? What are all those zombie woodsman doing in the treeless Nevada desert? Is the Giant a golden god with a girlfriend? Will the Giant's golden Laura Palmer orb save us from a Bob zombie apocalypse? And what's up with that flying bug imp who nested in that girl's mouth after the townsfolk refused to give Sutty's grand pappy a goddamned light? All that and more!

Murph and Hawk revisit Parts 1 and 2 of Twin Peaks: The Return to suck down a second pot of steaming hot Lodgian weirdness.. Full of Bob French Roast, they dissect the strange goings on in the Black Lodge, Sheryl Lee's cursed fate, that kooky Mr C and his cartoon-faced minion, Ray. Also what's up with Mr. C's post murder call to Philip Jefferies? And who exactly has been with Bob before that we know of in the series? All that, and a whole lot more!

Murph and Hawk put the pieces together in a fanboy dreamland reverie for a picture perfect Part 7. They wonder what the hell is Mr. Balloon Head (aka Sutty from Ep. 2) doing stalking Major Briggs' headless corpse? Did Diane see the face of Bob in Bad Coop? Did Laura's missing diary pages give us clues to the fate of Annie? What's up with that mysterious hum in the Great Northern Hotel? And we get an epic Cobra sighting in Vegas.. Take that Ike the Spike.