Chopping Wood Inside: The Twin Peaks Podcast for Conspiracy Theorists

Murph and Hawk are back from shock treatments with new nuggets of lodge speculation: Who's winning the war between Judy and the fireman now that the series is over? Did we ever see the real Diane? Did Cooper dream up Frank Truman? Could Laura be trapped in her own dreamer loop, just like Coop's and Audrey's? Is the whole "Naido = Diane" thing just another lodge mind fuck for poor Cooper? Was Naido really Judy the whole time?? And can we all finally agree that Judy is the evil in the Palmer House, and probably the queen of the Black fucking Lodge??

Murph and Hawk keep the theory train rocking with some new revelations on the series finale: Are we all living in a Black Lodge world? Is it Lodge realities "all the way down" for Cooper? Is everyone cool with Vegas, Season 1 and Season 2 not even happening? Does Laura's "I'm dead, yet I live" line mean she's trapped in Coop's Groundhog Day story, or does she have her own recurring story, and was it Odessa? Could there be an infinite number of Richard's running around the Cooper-verse trying to save an infinite number of Carrie's? And are they all destined to fail, fail. FAIL? And in the end, is Judy the architect of all possible timelines, including (gulp) ours??

Murph and Hawk rewind the time loop to offer their live commentary on Part 2: Were Phyllis and Mr. C doing the tulpa dance? Did Mr. C have Phyllis stage the creepy Ruth-Briggs crime scene? Why were the Woodsman so determined to kill Bill Hastings? Was Ray an FBI informant from Jump Street? What the fuck is Laura whispering in Coopers' ear?? Did Laura and Sarah ever take off their faces together? Is Coop stuck in 2 time loops: the Dopple-Coop loop and the Laura loop? Is the One Armed Man trying to wake him up with all those "future/past" lines? Does Hawk see red drapes every time he hikes to Glastonberry Grove? And is Lynch sneakily hinting at a Season 4 (in 4 years) with all these media interviews??

Murph and Hawk do their first live commentary of The Return, starting with Part 1, to see if they can make sense of this multi-verse: Did Lynch throw the script out the window with Episode 18? Should Harry Dean Stanton's face be on Mount Rushmore? Is the Giant's scene with Coop the last scene in the series? Did Bill Hastings wake up in bed next to Major Briggs' corpse with Ruth's head on top? What is the over/under on red herrings in this series? Was that fucker Ray's entrance the best thing ever? Who is the mysterious billionaire again? Is the Glass Box a result of Gordon, Briggs & Coops original plan to get Judy? Are those Z's on Tracy's coffee cups signs she's an agent of the White Lodge? Is Phyllis Hasting's one of Mr. C's tulpas? Why is Alice Tremond so fucking creepy; is she Judy? Is the Giant throwing shade at Coop with the "far away" line? Did Lucy have to kill a man to learn how cellphones work? And one final shout out to our God, St. Harry Dean, see you at the curtain call!

Murph and Hawk remove their splattered minds from the ceiling of the Twin Peaks Sheriff's Station to posit more theories on the series finale: Did this season even happen? Did the original series?? Is Judy really Mother? Is Odessa, Texas Laura's version of Audrey's pocket hell? Is Coop "the dreamer" hooked on the story of the little girl who lived down the lane? Was Mr C's foolish plan a mirror of Cooper's foolish plan? What's up with Coop's FBI pin? Did Judy (in the form of Mrs. Tremond) just shatter Coop's hero myth into a million Bob pieces? And is our beloved hero fucked forever on any timeline???

Murph and Hawk try to put their doppel-minds back to together after a existentially slippery, mind-blowing Season Finale: How spine-tingling was that cliffhanger?? What year is it again? Is Bob really dead? Are the Woodsman? Will Freddy run for Mayor of Twin Peaks? How hilar was Mr. C's "Coop act" at the Sheriff's Station? How late was Bobby Briggs to the Freddy/Bob Orb slugfest? How awesome was Gordon's entrance after the fight? Is Cooper the Dreamer? Is Red head Diane the real Lil from Fire Walk With Me? Was Part 17 the fan-friendly ending Lynch pitched to Showtime? Is Part 18 really Episode 1 of Season 4? How the F were Coop and Mike allowed into the Convenience Store to see Phillip? Was Diane really enjoying sex with Dale or did some latent Mr. C emerge during coitus? Is Coop's dark side really vanquished? Is Laura doomed in any dimension? Is Jow-day 'The Mother' aka Sarah via The Jumping Man? Is Sarah destined to stalk Laura on any astral plane? Will we ever get a Season 4 "curtain call" to answer, "How's Audrey?" And Is Coop trapped in an obsessive dreamer loop or is he the worst time traveler ever???

Doppel-Murph and Tulpa-Hawk "deliver the message" during their season finale preview extravaganza: Did Tammy really disappear? Will we see Andy break-dancing over the end credits? Did Mr C give his dead son, Johnny Horne's teddy bear for his 1st birthday present? Did Mr C trigger Diane with a Bob smile emoji? Is Becky dead under that #6 power pole? Are we about to meet Judy and a spider monkey named Jack? Is the "Jumping Mother Sarah Man" waiting for Mr. C on Blue Pine Mountain? And is all our destinies to watch Coop become "Dr. Blue" to Garland's "The Major" in Season 4 of Twin Peaks (release date 2022) chasing Bob around the multiverse?

Murph and Hawk go full Black Lodge deep dive on an epic Part 16: Has Mr. C been knocking out tulpas for 25 years? Will we ever find out how "The Major" got Dougie's ring in his stomach? Have we ever really seen the Black Lodge? Is the Waiting Room on an infinite plane? Has the Convenience Store taken over as the big bad evil in the series? Is a trap being set at the Palmer House? And is the real Diane trapped in the Old Gas Station purgatory or is she Naido, Candy or fucking Linda??

Murph and Hawk bust out their Jerry Horne Dugpa dance for a thumbs up Part 16: Is Audrey "the dreamer " trapped in Convenience Store hell? Is every demon converging on the Sheriff Station now? Is Naido the real Diane? Is that dude who Uzi'd Hutch and Chantal an agent of the White Lodge (like Freddy?) Did Diane briefly channel Laura when she said "I'm in the Sheriff's Station"? And did Coop just say goodbye to the only family he's ever known, forever?

Murph and Hawk take a pleasant steam in the Phillip Jeffries' teapot to preview Part 16: Who the hell is Judy?? Who the hell is mother? What the fuck is inhabiting Sarah? What does the Jumping Man have to do with this? Is Bob still in Mr. C or what? Will Dougie Coop be rushed to Twin Peaks in a Las Vegas ambulance? Will Freddy crush Billy with his green iron fist? And Is Dickie Horne finally destined to be Robin to Mr C's evil Batman?