Building your family

Chosen Family in Donor Conception & Surrogacy: Grief, Genetics, and Defining Your Family


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Many people using donor conception or surrogacy feel “different” and quietly wonder what family really means when genetics aren’t shared in the way they expected.

In this episode, I talk about chosen family in the context of donor conception and surrogacy: how to see yourself not as “other,” but as part of a growing, very real type of family.

We’ll explore:

• How the concept of family has changed – and where you fit in
• Why grief about not using your or your partner’s genetics is natural
• How grief about genetics and your bond with your child often get conflated (and why they’re different)
• How to think about who is in your “inner circle” 
• How to decide what to share with close family and friends, and what to keep private
• Why doing both the inner work (your own feelings) and the external work (how you talk to others) can help you feel more prepared for the future

If you’re building your family with donor sperm, donor eggs, embryos, or surrogacy, you are not alone – and you are not less of a family. There are ways to navigate grief, boundaries, and conversations that honor you, your partner, and your child.

💬 Want more support?

Inside my membership, I offer:
• Weekly live workshops on choosing donors, talking to donor‑conceived kids, and navigating surrogacy relationships
• A growing library of replays, including topics like this one
• A community of people building families through reproductive medicine

Learn more or join here: https://familybuilding.net/building-your-family-community/

🔔 New episodes every week on donor conception, surrogacy, and parenting in these families. Subscribe so you don’t miss them.

#donorconception #donorconceived #surrogacy #chosenfamily #modernfamily #infertilitysupport #thirdpartyreproduction #intendedparents #lgbtqfamily #fertilityjourney

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Building your familyBy Lisa Schuman

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