Deciding what to do with unused embryos after IVF can feel overwhelming, lonely, and loaded with grief.

In this episode, we talk honestly about the emotional weight of unused embryos and why so many people get stuck here for years. I walk through the most common options clinics offer, explain what each one actually means, and introduce additional paths like compassionate transfer and using ritual when none of the standard choices feel right for you.

Then I share a simple 3‑step system to help you move forward when you feel completely stuck, so you can make decisions that align with your values and find some peace with whatever you choose.

In this episode you’ll learn:

Why unused embryos bring up such big and conflicting feelings

For more support around IVF, donor conception, and surrogacy, check the links in the show notes.

Journalist and TV anchor Jenna Wolfe joins therapist Lisa Schuman to share how she built a two‑mom family through fertility treatment and donor conception, came out on the Today Show, navigated a double mastectomy after a BRCA diagnosis, divorced, and is now co‑parenting two daughters. This episode is for anyone using reproductive medicine, or donor conception and worries, “Will my family really be OK?”

We walk step‑by‑step through Jenna’s story:

If you’re building your family with fertility treatment, or donor conception, and want more structured support, you can learn about the Building Your Family education and support platform here:

This episode is sponsored by Seattle Sperm Bank, a donor sperm bank focused on rigorous screening, a wide donor selection, and thoughtful support for LGBTQ+ and solo parents. Learn more here:

When you’re going through fertility treatment, donor conception, or surrogacy, it’s completely normal to hit a point where you think, “Ugh… screw it.”

In this solo episode, Lisa Schuman names and explains the “Screw It Principle”: the quiet ways stress, exhaustion, jealousy, and resentment slip into big decisions about clinics, donors, and agencies. She breaks down the two versions of “screw it” moments, why they feel so good in the moment, and how they can slowly pull you away from your deepest values for yourself and your future child.

You’ll learn:

The two types of “screw it” decisions and how they show up in fertility, donor conception, and surrogacy

You are not weak for having “screw it” moments. You’re human. This episode helps you notice them before they quietly steer the parts of your family-building journey that matter most.

Episode resources

Grab your free ebook here: https://familybuilding.net/free-downloads/

Most patients never see what actually happens to their eggs and embryos once they disappear “into the lab.” In this episode, we go behind the scenes with Dr. Eduardo Hariton to unpack what safety really looks like in modern IVF: barcodes, double-checks, lab standards, and how AI is starting to support better decisions.

Dr. Hariton earned his MD from Harvard Medical School and MBA from Harvard Business School, has published over 70 papers and presentations, and leads innovation across a large fertility network. He brings a rare perspective that combines hands-on patient care with systems-level insight into how labs actually run day to day.

We cover:

How eggs and embryos are labeled, tracked, and verified at every step

Guest resources

My resources

If you want help turning this episode into specific questions and checklists for your own journey, you’ll find guides and tools in our community.

Trans people don’t want “special” families. They want what every parent wants: to tuck their kids in at night and know they’re safe.

In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW, sits down with educator and advocate Trystan Reese to talk about trans family building: what’s the same, what’s different, and what trans parents need from clinics, communities, and allies right now.

They cover:

Whether you’re trans, cis, a fertility patient, or a clinician, this conversation will help you better understand and support trans families in a world where family building is increasingly politicized.

Resources & Links

Building Your Family is hosted by Lisa Schuman, LCSW, a leading expert in fertility, donor conception, and surrogacy, helping parents and professionals support children growing up in “different” families.

#TransFamilyBuilding #TransParents #TransPregnancy #LGBTQFamily #QueerParenting #FertilityJourney

How do you make smart, grounded choices about egg freezing today that support whatever comes next – IVF, donor conception, or deciding not to pursue treatment at all? In this episode, reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Jaime Knopman joins Lisa to unpack the real numbers, timing, and trade‑offs so you can feel more empowered and less sold to.

We talk honestly about when egg freezing makes sense, what “ideal before 35” actually means in real life, and why success rates are never higher than about 75% – no matter what the brochure says. Dr. Knopman explains how to think about lab quality, age, and medical factors, while Lisa brings in the emotional side of planning for the possibility of future IVF or donor conception.

In this conversation, we cover:

How to think about fertility planning in your 20s and 30s

00:00 Empowering Fertility Planning

If you’re in fertility treatment, thinking about egg freezing, or considering donor conception and want more emotional support and education, you can find my workshops and membership at https://familybuilding.net/

Learn more about Dr. Jaime Knopman: https://drjaimeknopman.com/

#fertilityjourney #eggfreezing

Many intended parents secretly ask themselves: “How can I have such negative feelings about donor conception and still love my child?”

In this episode, Lisa talks directly to that fear. She explains why you don’t have to “feel good” about donor conception to be a deeply loving, attuned parent – and how the part of you that’s grieving and the part of you that loves your child are not the same part.

We explore:

If you’re building your family with donor eggs, sperm, or embryos and carrying a lot of complicated feelings, this conversation is for you.

For more support and education around donor conception, visit Building Your Family:

#donorconception #donoreggs

Leaking when you laugh, rushing to the bathroom “just in case,” constipation, or painful sex after birth… common, yes. Normal, no.

In this episode, pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Sara Reardon (aka The Vagina Whisperer), joins me to break the silence on peeing, pooping, pregnancy, postpartum, and sex. We talk about what your pelvic floor actually is, why it matters during fertility treatment, pregnancy, birth and menopause, and how small changes can make a huge difference in daily life.

Dr. Sara shares practical guidance from her app and new book Floored, including how to breathe, move, poop, and have sex in ways that support your pelvic floor instead of fighting it. We also cover C‑section recovery, scar tissue, back pain, and why “adult diapers are not your destiny.”

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What the pelvic floor does and how it affects peeing, pooping, sex, and core strength

Learn more about Dr. Sara Reardon: https://thevagwhisperer.com/

When you’re building your family with donor conception, one huge decision often gets skipped: Are we setting this person up as “Dad” (or “Mom”)… or as a “Donor”?

This episode is not about what your child might eventually choose to call them. It’s about the role you intentionally create at the beginning and how that choice shapes expectations, time, money, relationships, and logistics for everyone involved. It can be beautiful, or it can become very complicated, depending on how it’s set up.

In this solo episode, I walk you through six key topics to think about before you decide:

I also share three practical ways to process your responses, so you’re not just spinning in worry, but actually moving toward a more grounded, thoughtful decision for you and your future child.

This episode is not legal advice and cannot replace personalized medical, legal, or mental health support. It’s meant to offer ideas, language, and frameworks as you navigate donor conception and modern family building.

👉 Want more support as you make donor-related decisions?

#donorconception #donorconceived #familybuilding #fertilityjourney #IVFcommunity #singlemotherbychoice #LGBTQfamily #thirdpartyreproduction #surrogacyjourney #modernfamily #donorissues #knownDonor #intendedparents #reproductivemedicine #chosenfamily

What if you’re told you’re in premature menopause at 34 – and your only path to pregnancy is IVF with donor eggs?

In this episode, I’m joined by fitness coach Kyla Burke, who shares her personal journey with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI), IVF, and ultimately pregnancy using donor eggs from a friend.

Kyla talks honestly about:

Throughout the conversation, Kyla comes back to one core message:

You’re not failing if treatment is hard, if transfers fail, or if you need donor eggs. Your body is not broken – and you deserve support for your mental health and recovery just as much as for your lab results.

This episode is for anyone facing POI, IVF, donor eggs, or simply trying to hold onto their physical and emotional wellbeing through fertility, pregnancy, and postpartum.

⚠️ Important: This episode is for education and reflection only. It is not medical, genetic, or legal advice. Always discuss your specific situation with your own care team or therapist.

🌱 Ongoing support for donor conception & surrogacy families

If you want more than one‑off episodes and would like ongoing workshops, courses, and community around donor conception, surrogacy, and talking to your child, you can learn about the Building Your Family community here:

To receive free resources and updates about future workshops and episodes, you can also join my newsletter here: