Building your family

By Lisa SchumanMedicine Alternative Health Health & Fitness

Building your family episodes

October 25 She Was Widowed in Her Twenties. At 52 She Became a First Time Mom Through Donor Eggs and Surrogacy.
Shanthi was widowed in her twenties. By the time she was ready to build a family she was 44 — and the path forward looked very different from what she had imagined.
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa sits down with Shanthi to talk through her journey from grief and uncertainty to becoming a first time mother at 52 through donor eggs and a surrogate. This is one of the most honest and grounded conversations about third party reproduction you will find anywhere.
What you will learn in this episode:
How being widowed young affected Shanthi's family building timeline and how she eventually found her path
Why donor eggs became the right choice at 44 and what that decision felt like emotionally
What she learned after a difficult first donor cycle that resulted in no embryos
How she researched donors more carefully the second time — including AMH, genetics and previous outcomes
How she balanced practical criteria with a personal sense of connection when choosing a donor
How her feelings about surrogacy evolved and what she considered when choosing a surrogate
The legal protections, communication expectations and birth preferences she thought through carefully
How she created meaning for her future child through a hibiscus flower, a life book and personal details
What she wants to say to anyone who feels stuck or wonders if it is too late
If you are facing donor conception, surrogacy or wondering whether your family building path is still possible — Shanthi's story will give you something real to hold onto.
Resources:
Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz
Lisa is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
#donoreggs #surrogacy #familybuilding #reproductivetherapist #fertilityafter40 #eggdonation #gestationalcarrier #donorconception #firsttimemom #familybuildingjourney #ivf #fertilityjourney #motherhoodlater #intendedparents #youarenotalone
53 min
October 18 Two Dads, Two Surrogates, Two Kids: One Gay Couple's Complete Surrogacy Journey
What does it actually take to build a family through surrogacy as a gay couple, from choosing an egg donor to navigating failed transfers, COVID era matching, and doing it all twice?
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa sits down with Alexander Paykin to talk through every stage of the surrogacy journey he and his husband Ricky took to become fathers of two children. This is one of the most honest and practical conversations about gay surrogacy you will find anywhere.
What you will learn in this episode:
How Alexander and Ricky got on the same page about timing when one was ready and one was not
How they chose their egg donor from a smaller pool and what made her feel like the right match
Why they were surprised to learn the surrogate matching process was completely separate from embryo creation
What COVID did to their timeline and how early interviews happened by phone and Zoom
The difference between their first surrogate Ashley who became like a sister and later surrogate experiences
Why repeated failed transfers and matching setbacks did not stop them
How family reactions changed once the babies arrived

If you are a gay couple considering surrogacy, or anyone navigating this path, Alexander's story will give you something real to hold onto.
Resources:
Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz
Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
39 min
October 11 What Every Single Woman and Lesbian Couple Needs to Know Before Donor Insemination: A Harvard Expert Explains
Donor sperm can cost over a thousand dollars a vial. Sometimes over two thousand. And most people start spending that money before they have asked the most important questions.
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa sits down with Dr. Elizabeth Ginsburg, past president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive medicine at Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women's Hospital, to walk through everything you need to know before starting donor insemination.
This episode is especially valuable for single women, lesbian couples and clinicians who want a clearer framework for donor selection, fertility workup and when to move from IUI to IVF.
What you will learn in this episode:

Considering carrier screening before choosing a donor so you do not miss a shared recessive mutation
Why psychological screening matters for single women, lesbian couples and known donors
What a known donor agreement actually needs to cover and why a legal agreement is essential
What fertility testing should happen before you spend thousands on sperm
What AMH does and does not tell you about your chances with donor insemination
When to consider moving from IUI to IVF and how cost and geography affect that decision
Why donor inventory matters if you want a second child with the same donor
What clinicians should be discussing proactively that most patients never hear
If you are using donor sperm to build your family, or thinking about it, this episode will give you a framework you will not find anywhere else.
Resources:
Article: https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(26)00565-0/abstract
Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz
Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
33 min
October 04 Single Mom by Choice: How Donor Sperm, IVF and Donor Eggs Helped Her Complete Her Family
How many times would you try before you gave up?
Kristin Duncan already knew what it took to become a single mother by choice. Her son Blake was conceived with donor sperm. But trying for her second child brought a whole new level of heartbreak, repeated IVF rounds with her own eggs, ovarian PRP, multiple clinic changes, a backup donor who fell through, and a journey that tested everything she had.
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Kristin sits down with Lisa to share the full story of how she finally conceived her daughter Brianna using both donor sperm and donor eggs, including how she found her donor through Instagram, why she preferred a known donor over a bank donor, and what it actually felt like to keep going when everything kept failing.
What you will learn in this episode:
What it is really like to pursue IVF with low ovarian reserve and endometriosis as a single mom
How Kristin navigated multiple clinic changes, ovarian PRP and round after round of unsuccessful transfers
The emotional toll of parenting one child while desperately trying to give him a sibling
Why her first backup donor did not work out and how devastating that was
How she found her egg donor through Instagram
Why she preferred a known donor and what that relationship looks like
The mental shift from repeated disappointment to trusting that this child was the one she was meant to have
What she wants every single mother by choice to know about fertility testing and planning ahead
This is one of the most honest and moving conversations about persistence, donor eggs and single motherhood you will hear.
Resources:
Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz
Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
Guest Resources:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mysmbclife/

52 min
September 27 What To Do When You Are Told There Is No Sperm: The STAR System Explained
If you or someone you love has been told there is no sperm, this episode is for you.
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa talks with Dr. Eric Forman of Columbia University Fertility Center about STAR, Sperm Tracking and Recovery, an AI powered system that can find ultra rare sperm that human embryologists may miss entirely.
What you will learn in this episode:
What STAR is and how it works — scanning millions of images in under two hours to find sperm hidden among debris and other cells
The difference between obstructive and non-obstructive azoospermia and why it matters for your treatment path
What STAR can and cannot do — it finds sperm that are nearly impossible to see, but it does not create sperm or improve sperm quality
How STAR works alongside surgery, IVF and ICSI rather than replacing them
The Klinefelter syndrome case where STAR helped find sperm after surgery and led to a healthy birth
Why a reproductive urology consultation still matters even when your clinic is focused on IVF
What causes sperm problems — testosterone use, anatomical issues, genetic conditions and more
How available STAR is today and how to access it
This is one of the most important conversations about male infertility and what is now possible for men who have been told they have no sperm.
Free Resources:
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz
Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
Episode Resources:
Time article: https://time.com/collections/best-inventions-2025/7318439/columbia-university-star-method/
Website: https://www.columbiadoctors.org/specialties/obstetrics-gynecology/our-services/columbia-university-fertility-center/our-services/sperm-tracking-and-recovery-star
45 min
September 20 Donor Siblings: What Every Parent of a Donor Conceived Child Needs to Know
Your donor conceived child almost certainly has donor siblings. That is not a maybe — it is one of the realities of donor conception that every family needs to understand.
In this episode Lisa Schuman, LCSW covers the three realities of donor siblings, what the research actually shows about donor conceived children and sibling relationships, why families connect with sibling pods and what they are looking for, how these relationships evolve over time, and how to use the Zoom Out framework to make this decision with clarity rather than panic.
Whether you are just starting to think about this or you are already navigating a pod — this episode will help you think it through.
Resources mentioned in this episode: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: https://familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz/ Privacy vs Secrecy episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg1sLYzkvWo&t=239s
21 min
September 13 Male Infertility, Donor Conception and the Family They Built Together: Dana and Ben's Story
When Dana and Ben received a diagnosis of zero sperm count they had no idea what came next. Donor sperm? Adoption? And how do you make that decision together as a couple when everything feels impossible?
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa Schuman LCSW sits down with Dana and Ben to talk about their journey through male infertility. They cover the diagnosis, the emotions, the decision to use donor sperm, the process of choosing a donor, and what it has been like to build their family and share their story with their children and the people around them.
What you will learn in this episode:
What it actually feels like to receive a zero sperm count diagnosis as a couple, how Dana and Ben navigated the decision to use donor sperm, how they chose their donor and what that process was really like. They also talk about how open communication and humor helped them get through the hardest moments, how they prepared to share their story with their children from the very beginning and what they want other couples navigating male infertility to know.
This is one of the most honest and generous conversations about male infertility and donor conception you will hear. It is one that could change everything for someone navigating this right now.
Resources: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz
45 min
September 06 PMOS: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Diagnosis, Fertility and Her Long Term Health
Could you have PMOS and not know it? For many women the answer is yes, and the wait for a proper diagnosis can take up to ten years.
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa Schuman, LCSW talks with Dr. Elizabeth Gardner about PMOS, formerly known as PCOS, a complex hormonal disorder that affects millions of women and goes far beyond fertility.
What you will learn in this episode:
What PMOS actually is, and why it starts as a communication problem in the brain Why diagnosis can take up to ten years and what to do if you suspect you have it The biggest misconceptions about PMOS that are still causing harm The role of genetics and environment in PMOS. Also discussed are serious health risks beyond fertility, including uterine cancer and metabolic issues, current treatment options and what is on the horizon including KIS peptin How to advocate for yourself with your doctor and get the individualized care you deserve.
Whether you have been diagnosed with PMOS or PCOS, are struggling with irregular cycles, or are navigating fertility treatment, this episode will give you information and tools you can use immediately.
Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net
Lisa Schuman, LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
#PMOS #PCOS #fertility #womenshealth #reproductivehealth #hormonalhealth #reproductivetherapist #ivf #fertilityjourney #endocrinology #donorconception #buildingafamily
45 min
August 30 Sperm Donation From the Inside: One Donor's Perspective on Family and Transparency
What does sperm donation look like from the inside, from someone who is both donor conceived himself and a sperm donor?
In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa Schuman, LCSW talks with Daniel Bayen, a sperm donor who grew up as a donor conceived person, about the evolving landscape of sperm donation, the importance of transparency and psychological screening, what it is like to meet donor siblings, and how he thinks about the ethical limits of donation.
What you will learn in this episode:
What modern sperm donation options look like beyond traditional banks What it was like growing up donor conceived, and how that shaped his decision to become a donor himself How he screens recipients and why transparency matters so much to him. He talks about what donor siblings mean to donor conceived people, and how it varies The psychological screening process and why he has completed five screenings His family limit of 50 families and how he thinks about what he wants other donors, and recipients, to understand
This is a rare and genuinely honest conversation about donor conception from a perspective you almost never hear.
Resources: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net
Lisa Schuman, LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast.
Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.
#spermdonor #donorconception #donorconceived #familybuilding #donorsiblings #opendonation #modernfamilies #ivf #spermdonation #buildingafamily
49 min
August 23 How To Talk To Your Donor‑Conceived Child (Zoom Out, Don’t Panic)
Talking to your child about donor conception can feel terrifying. What do you say? When do you say it? And how do you do it without creating shame or confusion?
In this episode, reproductive therapist Lisa Schuman, LCSW, shares her Zoom Out Theory for talking to donor‑conceived children about their story. Instead of getting stuck in today’s anxiety, Lisa helps you think about your child’s long‑term emotional health and sense of self.
You’ll learn how to acknowledge your own feelings, and start (or continue) the conversation in a way that builds connection rather than fear.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why talking to your donor‑conceived child can feel so stressful and lonely
What it means to “zoom out” and think about who your child is becoming over time
How to balance your emotions with what your child actually needs to hear
Why “waiting until they’re older” often makes conversations harder, not easier
Practical steps to move from feeling stuck to feeling clearer and more confident
Episode Resources:
https://familybuilding.net/events-page/
14 min

About Building your family

From the publisher's feed

Welcome to Building Your Family, the only expert-guided community platform designed for parents and parents-to-be using reproductive medicine to build their families. We provide unique strategies to help make your path to parenthood smoother and more informed—empowering you to navigate the critical decisions that shape your family’s future.