In this Season 20 opener, Jaimie sits down in person (for the first time in years!) with two powerhouse voices in the LGBTQIA+ family-building world: José Rolón (aka NYC Gay Dad) and Luce Remey (VP of Public Policy at Family Equality). Together, they dive deep into what it really means to build, protect, and nurture queer families in today’s political climate. From navigating wills, Social Security benefits, and second-parent adoptions, to standing firm against legislative attacks on our rights, José and Luce remind us that our intentionality as queer parents comes with both gratitude and baggage—and that community is what makes it all possible.
The conversation also gets personal: José opens up about blending his family with his partner Thomas, raising three kids as a widowed gay dad, and showing up for his daughters through life’s milestones. Luce shares her own journey toward adoption, how her work in policy is informed by personal experience, and why allies (or as she calls them, accomplices) are essential in this fight. This episode is both heartwarming and eye-opening—a powerful reminder that our families are resilient, intentional, and here to stay.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Queer family-building comes with baggage—and gratitude. Unlike many straight families, our paths often require legal, financial, and emotional hurdles. Yet through this, we build communities of care and gratitude.
- Legal protections matter. Birth certificates are not enough—second-parent adoptions, wills, and updated life insurance policies are crucial to protect queer families across state lines.
- Policy impacts everyone. As Luce highlights, every advancement in LGBTQ+ family law also benefits straight families. Simplifying processes like second-parent adoption makes parenting more accessible for all.
- Visibility + advocacy are survival tools. From José’s story of fighting for Social Security benefits to Luce’s vigilance against legislative rollbacks, representation and advocacy remain essential to protect our rights.
- Blended families take intentional work. José’s journey with his partner Thomas shows the beauty and challenges of merging lives, parenting styles, and kids’ evolving needs.
- Community is everything. Whether through chosen family, allies-turned-accomplices, or organizations like Family Equality, queer parents thrive when we lift each other up.
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
José Rolón (aka NYC Gay Dad) is a New York City wedding planner, content creator, and outspoken advocate for the LGBTQ+ and Latinx communities. A widowed father of three, José shares openly about grief, resilience, single parenthood, and now, blending his family with his partner. His voice has become a powerful presence in both advocacy spaces and social media, where he normalizes and celebrates queer fatherhood.
Luce Remey is the Vice President of Public Policy at Family Equality, where she leads state and federal advocacy to ensure LGBTQ+ families can be created, recognized, and supported. A Washingtonian, lesbian, knitter, and soon-to-be parent, Luce combines lived experience with policy expertise to push for systemic changes that make family-building more equitable. She believes “it shouldn’t take a lawyer to create a family” and works every day to make that vision a reality.
🏳️🌈 Resources Mentioned
- Family Equality – familyequality.org
- Pew Research + The 19th Study on LGBTQ+ families, 10 years after Obergefell
- Second-parent adoption resources and recommendations from family attorneys
- Social Security benefits guidance for queer families navigating parentage and survivor rights
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