Building your family

Your clinic and agency help you with the medical and legal parts of surrogacy. But who helps you zoom out and see the bigger picture for you, your surrogate, and your future child?

In this Zoom Out Theory episode, reproductive therapist Lisa Schuman, LCSW, talks about how to step back from the day‑to‑day stress of surrogacy so you can make clearer decisions and set your journey up for long‑term success. We explore how most surrogates are caring, altruistic people, how to build a healthy relationship and communication rhythm with your surrogate, and how to keep your future child in mind without getting overwhelmed.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What the Zoom Out Theory is and how it applies to surrogacy

#surrogacy #familybuilding #donorconception

“No normal embryos” doesn’t always mean the end.

Have you been told you have “no normal embryos” and feel like you’re out of options?

In this episode of the Building Your Family Podcast, Lisa talks with Dr. Norbert Gleicher and Dr. David Barad from the Center for Human Reproduction about IVF for some of the toughest cases: older patients, “no normal embryos,” and cycles where many people are told there’s nothing else to try.

They discuss why careful diagnosis and truly individualized treatment matter so much, especially for older patients; how they think about embryos other clinics might not consider; and what current evidence actually shows about PGTA, aneuploid and mosaic embryos, and implantation. They also explore the role of immunology, inflammation, toxins like microplastics, supplements, and AI in embryo selection.

In this conversation, you’ll hear about:

    What “no normal embryos” really means (and what it doesn’t)

If you’ve been told there are no options left, this episode can help you ask better questions and understand what might still be possible for your family.

Subscribe to the Building Your Family Podcast for more evidence‑based conversations on fertility, donor conception, and surrogacy.

Episode resources

In this first episode of the Zoom Out series, reproductive therapist, researcher, and author Lisa Schuman, LCSW unpacks the most important question almost no one asks about egg freezing.

Lisa explains why “How many eggs can I freeze?” is only part of the story, and why you also need to understand how many cycles and eggs you’re likely to need for the kind of family you actually want in the future. She introduces her Zoom Out Theory – a simple framework to help you step back from panic, manage stress, and make clearer decisions about your fertility.

Drawing on decades of clinical experience and research, Lisa also shares surprising data about non‑genetic parenthood options: how many egg freezing patients are open to donor eggs, embryos, or other paths if needed, and why that matters for how aggressively you pursue more cycles now.

You’ll learn:

The critical egg freezing question almost no one thinks to ask

#eggfreezing #fertility #ivfjourney #fertilitypreservation

In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman, LCSW sits down with Dr. Jessica Gray, a physician who has lived through infertility, miscarriage, and the intense pressures of medical training on her way to motherhood.

Jessica shares how a stressful childhood shaped her resilience, what it was like to face endometriosis and IVF as both a doctor and a patient, and how she coped when a long‑hoped‑for pregnancy ended in miscarriage. She talks candidly about binders of notes, hours of research, and the feeling of “doing everything right” and still not getting the outcome she hoped for.

Together, Lisa and Jessica explore the emotional burden of infertility on both partners, the importance of support systems, and the small planning behaviors that can create a sense of control in an uncertain journey. Jessica reflects on how she now gives back to the infertility and parenting community, and what she would say to her younger self who was just starting down this road.

If you’ve felt isolated, overwhelmed, or “not like yourself” during infertility or pregnancy, this conversation offers validation, practical coping ideas, and hope.

Dr. Jessica Gray resources:

#infertility #miscarriage #IVFjourney #endometriosis #ttccommunity #infertilitysupport #pregnancyloss #mentalhealth

If you’re single or in a relationship that isn’t working and you’re quietly Googling “single motherhood by choice,” this episode is for you. In this conversation with SMBC fertility doctor Alexis Melnick, MD, we walk through 5 clear steps to help you decide before your back is against the wall.

We cover both paths: staying on the relationship track and exploring single motherhood by choice on your own timeline. You’ll hear about the emotional, practical, financial, and support‑system questions to ask yourself so you can move from spiraling alone at 2 a.m. to making a grounded plan.

Inside this episode:

If you’re considering donor conception or surrogacy as a single parent, this will help you feel less alone, more informed, and better prepared.

Work with Alexis: [[email protected]]

#singlemotherbychoice #singlemotherhood #donorconception #fertilityjourney #queerfamily

In honor of Pride, this episode is a love letter to queer family building.

I’ve pulled my favorite moments from conversations with LGBTQ+ parents, a fertility doctor, a midwife, a donor‑conceived person, and queer influencers who’ve built their families through donor conception and surrogacy. Together, they share how they answer intrusive questions, how they talk to their kids about donors and surrogates, and how they’ve learned to fully embrace the families they fought so hard to create.

We talk about:

If you’re using reproductive medicine, donor conception, or surrogacy to build your family, you are not alone. This episode is meant to sit beside you in the messy middle, give you words when you’re tongue‑tied, and remind you that your family is real, valid, and worthy of celebration.

Please join us on the anniversary of Stonewall for a free Queer Family Building workshop. Register here: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/

#QueerFamily #DonorConception #QueerFertility #FamilyBuilding

Re-released for Pride 2026 — In loving memory of Bret Hanna-Shuford (1979–2026)

In this beloved episode, I sit down with Bret Shuford and Stephen Hanna — the Broadway Dads — to talk about one of the most heartfelt and hard-won family-building journeys I’ve ever witnessed. Together, these two Broadway performers navigated egg donation, surrogacy, financial challenges, a lost match, a miscarriage, and a global pandemic before welcoming their son, Maverick, in 2022.

In this episode we cover:

This one is for every queer person who has ever dreamed of becoming a parent — and for Bret, who never stopped believing it was possible.

Episode resources

#DonorConceptionConversations #Pride2026 #BroadwayDads #LGBTQFamily

What does it really look like to build a queer family today – with donor conception, infertility, and non‑biological parenting in the mix?

In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa sits down with long‑time queer family advocate and podcast host of the Queer Family Podcast, Jaimie Kelton to talk honestly about infertility, the emotional weight of genetics, and the many paths LGBTQ+ families take to build their families. They explore how advocacy and resources for queer families have evolved, why non‑biological connections can be just as deep as genetic ones, and how humor helps normalize complex family dynamics.

You’ll hear candid stories about slow bonding, the myth of the “instant magical moment,” and why accepting your unique path changes everything. Lisa and Jamie also dig into the importance of intentional parenting, open communication about donor conception, and how to create safety for kids to ask questions about their origins.

If you’re a queer parent, planning a family, or supporting LGBTQIA families, this conversation will give you language, perspective, and community for the journey.

You’ll learn:

How advocacy and resources for queer families have changed

Guest resources

Re-released for Pride 2026 — Because this conversation never gets old

What does it actually feel like to need a donor to build your family? How do you choose the right one? What does the medical process look like — and what does the emotional process look like? In this rare co-author conversation, I put these questions to Dr. Mark Leondires, Founder and Medical Director of Illume Fertility and Gay Parents To Be — and he turns them right back on me.

#DonorConceptionConversations #Pride2026 #DonorConception #LGBTQFamily

Co-authors Lisa Schuman &; Dr. Mark Leondires answer your biggest donor conception

She was only 25 and already knew something was wrong.

In this episode of Building Your Family, Lisa Schuman sits down with Margarita Lainez to talk about the often overlooked reality of secondary infertility and PCOS. After having her first child with ease, Margarita assumed a second would come naturally. Instead, she faced month after month of negative tests, dismissive “just keep trying” advice, and the heavy guilt of not giving her son a sibling.

Margarita shares what it was like to live this while working inside the fertility world, how she finally pushed for a real workup and received a PCOS diagnosis, and the grief, shame, and loneliness that came with that season. Together, Lisa and Margarita explore self‑advocacy, setting boundaries, protecting your mental health, and finding the right support when friends, family, or even doctors don’t fully understand.

If you’re in the middle of your own fertility journey, especially secondary infertility, this conversation will help you feel less alone and more equipped to ask for what you need.

Inside this episode:

What secondary infertility can feel like day‑to‑day

Guest resources

#secondaryinfertility #PCOS #fertilityjourney #infertilitysupport #buildingyourfamily #donorconception #ttccommunity