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Over the past episodes we’ve named difficult realities: narcissistic leadership, authority insulation, control, silence, and spiritual abuse. But in this episode we turn our attention to the journey of restoration — how God brings healing to hearts that have been wounded by coercive and unhealthy leadership. This is not just theory for Kerry and me. It comes from our own journey of healing and restoration.

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In this episode we turn our attention to the journey of restoration — how God brings healing to hearts that have been wounded by coercive and unhealthy leadership. This is not just theory for Kerry and me. It comes from our own journey of healing and restoration. We know firsthand that restoration is rarely instant. 

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I want to speak to you in this episode not as a teacher, but as a pastor who has sat across tables from broken believers — people who once loved the church, trusted their leaders, and now struggle even to open a Bible. One of the deepest tragedies of spiritual abuse is that it doesn’t just wound hearts — it fractures faith

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This episode is about building something different — not just avoiding harm, but cultivating health. I’ve sat with pastors who never intended to hurt anyone — and I’ve wept with families who lost their spiritual home. Authority insulation didn’t begin with cruelty. It began with fear, pressure, and good intentions that were never examined. Biblical authority is not positional — it is always relational. Jesus never anchored authority in control. He anchored it in presence. 

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Why does controlling leadership keep reappearing in the church — and why do so many good, sincere believers end up complying with it? If Episode 2 named the system — authority insulation — then in this episode we’re asking the harder question: Why do pastors drift into control, and why do good people stay?

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Across the global church a painful pattern keeps repeating. Faithful believers raise concerns about harmful leadership behaviour — and instead of being heard, they are silenced, isolated, or quietly removed. Meanwhile, the leader at the centre of the concern remains protected. This isn’t accidental. It is produced by a hidden system dynamic known as authority insulation — the invisible shield that forms when church cultures protect position more than they protect people. 

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This episode is titled “Identifying Narcissistic Leadership.” This is not a message born out of criticism, but out of care. As a pastor, trainer, and mentor, I’ve walked with wounded leaders — and I’ve walked with families who have been deeply hurt by controlling and spiritually abusive leadership. Healing never begins in silence. It begins with truth. Churches are built on trust. We preach forgiveness, grace, honouring leaders, not being suspicious, even phrases like “touch not the Lord’s anointed.” 

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This passage is one that often sparks debate in our modern context. Some argue that Paul’s teachings on sexuality and bodily holiness are archaic, outdated, and irrelevant to contemporary society. But when we take a closer look, we see that his message is just as vital today as it was in the first century

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In this episode  we discover that the true foundation for leadership in the Church is not hierarchy or control, but humility, love, and service under the Chief Shepherd, Jesus Christ.

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Peter speaks to believers living under pressure. His message to the ekklesia is both simple and powerful: the Church reveals Christ most clearly when it responds to suffering with humility, endurance, and love.