Hey friends! The more women I talk to, the more I see who find themselves between a rock and a hard place when it comes to their marriage.
An imbalance of power and control within a marriage can create constant fear, a sense of walking on eggshells, never knowing what’s going to happen next, and coming to believe that there is something inherently wrong with yourself — because clearly, if your husband is always unhappy with you, frequently angry at what you do, that would be the correct conclusion …. right?
It can be hard to know what’s worse… the perpetual put-downs, the crazy-making, and the betrayal, or the physical violence that often occurs.
If you’re in a situation like this, or if you ever have been, know this: if you’re in Christ, God is for you, not against you. He will never leave you nor forsake you, and his grace is sufficient for you. We have a promise in James 1:5 that He gives wisdom freely to all who ask, without reproach, and we know that much wisdom is needed within oppressive marriages.
One of the wonderful ways that God provides that wisdom is through other believers, and today we have Joy Forrest back with us, talking about the Called to Peace ministry once again, and how they help women who find themselves within a destructive marriage, whether we call those marriages oppressive or narcissistic or abusive, and how Called to Peace walks with them through the with them through the process as they make choices about what to do.
The decision to leave, or stay in, a marriage where there’s an imbalance of power and control — an abusive marriage — is a weighty decision, but it ultimately needs to be made in a prayerful, Scripture-saturated, and counsel-seeking way *by the woman*; she ought not be TOLD to separate or divorce.
In this week’s episode, Joy shares about her journey out of abuse and PTSD into healing — by the power of the Holy Spirit, through the Word of God.
She also talks about how Called to Peace offers highly-trained domestic violence advocates to women within, or coming out of, abusive or narcissistic marriages — to stabilize the woman’s situation, and have the best possible outcome.
She touches on how the way we talk about the abuse dynamic in court can make a big difference in the outcome of a separation, divorce, or custody case. She shares how women should describe to the judge the top-five worst issues within the relationship, use the power and control wheel, and avoid the use of the word “abuse” or “narcissism.” Judges have been trained to believe that claiming abuse is a way for a woman to get custody of her children. By explaining the situation without using those trigger terms, a better outcome is possible.
Called to Peace is undenominational and broadly evangelical, working with churches of a variety denominations, and respects the theological viewpoints of those they seek to help, as long as women and children are being kept safe.
(Joy joined us from her daughter’s hospital room as she prepared to welcome a grandchild! We’re so thankful she was willing to be interviewed under the circumstances!)
You can find Called To Peace Ministries at https://www.calledtopeace.org/
Joy Forrest’s book, Called To Peace, can be purchased here: https://amzn.to/3CcrZ9o
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