Chuck and Aardvark V.S. the Galaxy

Episode eleven BOO!!!! Did we scare you? THIS episode takes place in the renown Hôtel de l'France just outside the swamplands of Louisiana, where we decide to let our guards down and dive into our earliest childhood memories. The rabbit hole of our collective traumas leads us to places we could never have anticipated, including the seminal invention of a popular game of survival, a baseball player's final stand, and the mysterious cemetery back in the woods where nothing stays buried for long. Plus, a new theory about the Galaxy that might start tying all our previous theories together. Holiday Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-oad, Mama! | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! | Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/chuckandaardvark

Batten down the hatches, denizens, we've hit our tenth episode! THIS episode finds your humble hosts and galactic interpreters ensconced with a mysterious librarian as we decipher the theologic roots of the Magic School Bus. What we uncover has implications that extend to the Beatles (well, one song in particular), Edward Albee (well, one play in particular), and Norse Mythology (well, one god in particular)...but NOT Marvel. Don't go where I can't follow, Mr. Frodo! | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! | Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/chuckandaardvark

The ghost of Vultron the Vulture Man returns to inform the denizens of an unfortunate episode delay this week, due to technical difficulties. Ep 10 is expected to drop this Friday. Thanks for your patience! Ca-caawwwww!

Good morning, denizens. We hope you slept well...'cause once you listen to episode nine of this podcast, your slumber will grow fitful, plagued with anxieties! THIS episode, we return to form as Charlie processes the death of his favorite Romeo and Juliet character, before we launch into our big takedown of American capitalism. With tie-ins to George Orwell, Amazon, Old McDonald (EIEIO), and the incredible canon of Sean Bean documentaries, this theory might be more relevant and intricate than any that have come before. Watch out for cave trolls! | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! 

In this, our eighth episode, we take a break from our Galactic explorations, instead turning our keen investigative powers inward to answer the crucial question: what the heck is even going on with this podcast? Charlie fights to keep the fun alive in the face of the worst co-host the Galaxy has ever seen. And Ari...well...Ari meets a Vulture Man. | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Vultron Theme written by Ari Borhanian. Sound effects taken from soundbible.com, recorded by PsychoBird. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! 

Tremble, denizens, for episode seven is here to consume you all! THIS episode finds Ari and Charlie on the run from a veritable legion of enemies, bent on destroying this podcast and burying the truth for good. Our theory this week involves Murphy's Law—but just who is this "Murphy," and how does this "law" of theirs connect to Medieval legends, overseas factories, the American Dialect Society, or NSFW Reddit threads? Plus, King Arthur is a LITERAL white knight. | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Sound effects taken from soundbible.com, recorded by GoodSoundForYou and PsychoBird. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! 

Whew! What a crazy couple of weeks, huh? Ari got turned into a robot, incurred the wrath of his father, the Shoe King of the North, and had his whole brain coated in pizza grease. Charlie almost died, went on a multidimensional dry-cleaning venture, and suffered the loss of a second family. Meanwhile, our list of enemies grows longer by the hour. So, we're taking the week off to figure out where to run and who to trust. In the stead of a regular episode, here's the very first episode we EVER recorded, way back before we'd even figured out the title or premise of our show! Enjoy, fearless denizens, and we'll see you all next week. | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! 

DISCLAIMER: We try to design every episode to stand, if not entirely on its own, close enough that its comprehensibility isn't contingent on listening to previous episodes; but this, our sixth episode, heavily references what could be loosely characterized as "plot points" from episode five, and may be confusing without the full context. You've been warned! Anyway, THIS episode, Ari tries on a suspiciously good-natured persona as we get to the bottom of the sinister symbiosis between our vehicles and the people who repair them! This is one of our most salient theories so far, with far-reaching implications for self-driving cars, coyote gynecologists (gynecologists who are coyotes, rather), Harvard University...and, most consequential of all, the friendship at the heart of this very podcast. Pizza's on us! | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! 

We've reached episode five...and not a moment too soon! THIS episode, Charlie confronts Ari about his ongoing transformation, before detailing a hair-raising encounter with an oddly familiar face. We discuss the lore behind the classic children's book series "Where's Waldo?"—a lore that abounds with questions of mortality, cryptic symbolism, and references to a holy war of unimaginable scope. Support your local archers!  | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]! 

If three's a crowd, what are we to make of this, our fourth episode? THIS episode, we take a stab at making our podcast more accessible to casual listeners, before launching into our biggest topic yet: the cursed alliance our species has made with the winged devils of our city parks! With connections to social security, the defense department, and Dickin Medal for Animal Gallantry winner G.I. Joe, no theory has ever put the C&AVTG boys at so much personal risk. Long live the Shoeking of the North, cruel though he may be! | Logo by @NuleTheGoat. Music and audio mixing by @UndreamedPanic. Edited, as always, by Mathaniel. Thanks Mathaniel! | Have some choice remarks for us, your humble hosts? You can email us at [email protected]!