CineKuest Video

THERE IS NO ZOMBIE. THERE IS ONLY ZUUL. Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland as we pound down some strong booze and go over the only merit to this movie…….it’s Milla, in case you haven’t figured it out by now.

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Two horror fans discuss the clothing horror genre, horror tees, lack of fashion sense and the film, Slaxx!

If ever a film confirmed a happy disappointment, these would be it. Where do you stand on a Christopher Lambert Raiden?Join Bryce, Rey, Roland, and Daniel as we summon our fatalities on this double feature!

What do you do when you need a cash grab effort? It’s simple--blow the budget on JCVD,and the scraps can go to the other sometimes household darlings Flying Raul Julia. Join Daniel (Darkwing Drunk), Roland (Darth Goggletron), Rey (Cosmic Beef), Bryce (Young Breezy) and Ron as we rip through this wonderful whirlwind of Crapsterpiece Theater.

The Iron Chef and Party of One battle the Vanilla Ice T-1000 alongside Alyssa Thiccano! Join Rey, Daniel, Roland and #1 Fan Friend, Paul for the greatest analysis of the good bad film!

Cinekuest Presents The Mario Bros Movie: Blade Runner the Henson’s Cut. To start off our foray into video game movies, we chose the 1993 classic, much beloved, Super Mario Bros starring John Leguizamo and Bob Hoskins as Luigi Mario and Mario Mario. Get your post-apocalypse cyber-trash-future fetishes here, folks, while they’re hot! Join Rey, Roland, Bryce, and Daniel as they ramble about this classic Hollywood Flopper.

Wadatah, our damies. We invite you to partake in a Mokuest tradition established years ago of watching one of the absolute best movies ever made on New Year’s Eve! Join Rey, Roland, and Daniel as they poorly attempt an MST3K take on a movie we find no major problems with. Regardless, the important thing to remember, kids, is to say “Sadatay” and feel okay and don’t bang the dillies!

Cinekuest Presents: Year of the Villain Face Off aka The Roast of Johnny Wong. Says it in the title folks--we finally bring you our votes for best-worst villain from our year’s action-verse reviews. Among all of these contenders we argue and attempt to disprove why Roland is always right (keep trying). Join Daniel, Rey, and Roland in our movie villains in review analysis battle royale.

Imagine if Mel Brooks and the Cryptkeeper tried to direct Lord of the Rings. With a mega-thicc budget and nobody in his way, there was just no stopping him, bringing us a timeless, incomparable medieval monster-fest masterpiece.Join Roland, Daniel, and Rey as we wish movies were still this cool.

Cinekuest Presents a Ballistic Break Dance Fight Night Featuring Marko Mark and Lou Diamond Phillips in The Big HitThis John Woo adjacent flophouse special with a dash of Wesley Snipes as a producer is definitely not worth watching for the star, the Wallbangerberg. In this flick, he  is completely overshadowed by the true star of La Bamba fame--Lou Diamond Phillips. He has the love for you, baby, with a goatee truly manicured to hell, rendering Roland’s jokes about Daniel’s mustache moot (Qapla’!)! Melvin Smiley is a soft-spoken, redheaded heartthrob with six-pack formed by years of mastering hand-to-hand combat and gymnastics with two ladies and is a complete pushover people-pleaser. Did we mention he’s also a contract killer? Probably should have led with that. How one can be all these things at once is a true symptom of a recently discovered illness medical researchers call Whatthefuckwerethewritersthinkingitis, but that’s what the action and comedy is for and there is a metric fuckload of it! Most of it is brought by Lou Diamond Fucking Phillips overacting an already over-the-top personality as Melly’s buddy/coworker/loveable cutthroat bastardo Cisco. He’s like a cross between a mariachi hip-hop star and Yakuza underling which is fucking hilarious. Anywhatsits, MelloMark is just tryna get paid and laid while surrounded by his seemingly utterly mundane home life. Between Chantel, his gold digger side piece, constantly blue ball bashing him for bills and his actual fiance’ Christina Goddamn Applegate tossing his savings down the drain leaving Smiles a financial shithouse. Cisco the absolute angel swoops in to save the day for Melvy, taking a “huge risk” offering his brochacho (the MVP of their hit squad) a non-union sanctioned job. That’s what he do ‘cuz he gots so much love for you, BAYBEE. How could this possibly get any better for the Marksman? He doesn’t deserve friends like that. Then things get fucking stupid--stupid awesome. Join Rey, Roland, and Daniel as we argue over why Young Guns is one of best BRAT PACK westerns of ALL TIME. 


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