CineKuest Video

Holy Shinto! Prepare for the legend centuries in the making of The Great White Ninja. Despite high hopes for the Chosen One, they were wrong…they were VERY wrong. He played with his nips, danced on a pole, screamed bloody murder at just about anything, became a pimp (who knew ninjas were rolling in so much skrilla?), slapped a guy in the face with fish, flirted with bomb disposal, and became a ninja master (mostly). It’s not his best work, but it is worth watching at least once or several times if you hate yourself. The guy was a King of the Sight Gag and a Lord of Slapstick. A Silly Bastardo that cut himself down in his prime like his own heroes did before him, allegedly. We suggest he’s kicking it with Elvis and Bowie in space. Regardless of our opinion on the matter, please join us as we sort of talk about Beverly Hills Ninja!  

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Holy Hell this movie is a hard pill to swallow even as Tromavids go. There is so much stupid to unpack here. It isn’t so-bad-it’s-good. It’s just bad. Worth watching at least once though for Mrs. Washinton’s patented Deathwish reenactment. Also, Nazis being nazzeez on the beach. Got some real mall-ninja-shit masterpieces in here. Check out the “switchboard”. I would sooner stab myself than try to use it on someone. That is some embarrassing garbage (I mean “art”). Get ready for a lot of sloooooow surfing scenes that go absolutely nowhere. Have some of Mama’s “home cooking”! …just watch it and see for yourselves.

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Check out the Surf Nazis Must Die YouTube trailer!

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Kwantsu dudes (means “free beers”)! You ‘member Donatello?! You ‘member Keno?! Ernie Reyes Jr. has his own movie-with Rob Shnieder as the plucky af, annoying af comic relief. Ninjas! Surprised?! Add a dash of LESLIE NIELSON AS A CYBORG, HOLY SHIT WHY? You ‘member Gamegear?!? Hope you had a shit-ton of batteries for that thing. This flick is heavy on the DESTINY, seriously! Count how many times they say it. Would probably make a great drinking game. Have at.   

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Join Rey, Roland and Daniel kill some time while we discuss movies we may or may not want (or care) to see in 2019. Beware rants of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series! Lots of spoilers. Lots of misinformation.

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In this episode we have a continuation of the Bday month of Roland picks. Rocketeer, anyone? Little bit of The Shadow, if you will? Hellz yes!  These movies got it all! Jetpacks! The power of the darkness! Genghis Khan wannabes! Nazzies! Jennifer Connelly (of course)! Alec Baldwin with a monster schnoz! Join us as Rey and Daniel tug-a-lug through the many many merits of the beautiful Jenny. She’s no Margo Lane though, hard as she doesn’t try. Now that’s a class (and sass) act for ya. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of preverts? The Shadow, probably. We chose…wisely for the movies…poorly for the Connelly Effect (obsession, rather). The well-endowed thoughts of Lamont would probably agree (have to watch to get that one).     

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Time for the second of our cheese-gorefest Tromathon treks. This time we’re treated to what happens when the honor society goes full-penetration (it’s not good–hence, the implication). It gets even worse better when they get ahold of the radioactive gonja and start passing around the glowing yellow spliffs (did they sprinkle some crackmeth innit?). See what happens when people hulk out with six foot boners and insta-trimesters. Shit demons, that’s what. No, really. Couldn’t make up this stuff if we tried. Get ready for an Atomic High courtesy of the “Youth of Tomorrow”.

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Join us as we dive into one of the “first black superhero films!” (Maybe, we really don’t research such things) This star studded cast is nothing to scoff at. It’s a shame this movie doesn’t get much attention. It’s not great, but its got mojo! Meteor Man has unique super powers and a genuine desire to help the community even if it means putting a brief music on hold?

P.s. 40 Hands Dan falls asleep again for a brief moment.

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For this special episode, which dabbles in a new realm of cinema, we join Idanya, co-host, D.A. and all the time favorite guest, Ron as they explore debatable titles that have made it past the graces of cinema snobs! This episode is about The Night Porter, which holds place as spine #59 in the criterion collection, yet has been considered “infamous” and “notorious” for its subject content. Does it deserve to be part of the meta film collection series? Let’s discuss!

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Yes, dudes and dudettes! Major league butt kicking is back in town! This time in tow is the entire (almost) Bossa Nova Mökrew takin’ you down Memory Lane to the corner of 90’s Badass~Cool Street! Time to ninja-kick the damn rabbit, people. We’re kickin’ it OG styles with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Trilogy, from the major ass-whuppings laid down in the first movie, to some of the funniest one-liners and stone-cold zingers in existence delivered by The Secret of the Ooze~”You know, pal, if I had a face like yours, I’d try and make up for it with some sort of personality.” ~Raphael giving a verbal bitchslap to Tatsu’s pug mug. We skim ever-so-briefly through the pile of steaming turtle stank-nuggets that is Turtles in Time even. They’re ALL worth watching (at least once). GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!

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Hello and beware! You are entering the realm of absolute trash cinema! Only the truest of the true trash-lovers should give this a listen. On this episode Rey, Roland and Bryce begin their bi-monthly shit-fest odyssey through Troma Entertainment with the classic straight-to-videotape, Redneck Zombies! We are trying out the “MST3K” format this time around (the film plays in the background as we share our thoughts in the moment). It was hella-difficult because we were laughing our asses off!

Redneck Zombies on Youtube

Please rate and review us on iTunes and Google Podcasts. Join the conversation on Twitter @MokuestStudios and Instagram @mokueststudios.

Store Door Chime and Projector used under The Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license