Clean or Sober

My guest today is from the UK.  She decided once she was well into her sobriety to come over to the United States, not being in great physical shape or as she puts it more eloquently, "Fat, Forty, Funny, and Fucked" and hike across the entire United States.

She talks through the mental challenges of being sober, alone, and on a hike without the support of overseas.  She was able to build a decent connection with COVID pushing so many people to Zoom meetings.

She talks us through how difficult it was for her to surrender to the program, as she quickly realized she spent her entire life trying to cheat the system.  She tried to do things her way and leave the proper way out of it.

I talk to a dear friend of mine, who just happens to be a doctor.  This not to trump the previous doctor, but this episode is definitely jampacked with exciting stories.  We talk about primarily how geographical changes do not work for an addict alcoholic like him.

He moves from New York to Columbus, then over to Guam.  He went from Guam to Japan and had plans to move to Switzerland to end his own life.  Finally he ends  up in the United States, and each time successfully relapses, well I mean as successful as you can relapse.

From there he makes a move which is final to Georgia.  All the while he takes himself with him, so shortly after arriving he is using again.  We talk about the amazing journey he took to meet his now current husband on the top of Mt. Fuji.

If you ever have any topics you'd like to hear some experience, strength or hope OR you'd like to be a guest, please reach out to me at [email protected]

Dr. Nicole Labor who is a Medical Director over several facilities, and has over 15 years sober, talks about the medical implications of addiction, what that looks like in the brain, and why staying clean and sober is so difficult.

Today's guest shares about the amazing company she works for called Freedom a la Cart.  They offer many services and help survivors of sex trafficking.  From their site, they mention "People are not property" and go on to say: No person should be bought or sold for sex. Not here in Central Ohio. Not anywhere.

Freedom a la Cart empowers survivors of sex trafficking and exploitation to build lives of freedom and self-sufficiency. We believe that giving a woman practical job skills and developing strong work ethic is vital for creating a pathway to freedom. So, we’ve created a safe place of restoration where survivors can heal, learn and grow as they prepare for sustainable employment and reintegrate into our community.

She shares about the path she took, which ultimately led her to get sober.  This includes adapting to greater and greater bottoms each time.  From living in a trailer barely able to support herself.  Then running with a biker gang, where she eventually ended up being raped, which caused her to leave that area.  Getting the house she and her boyfriend were selling drugs out of robbed, and narrowly escaping being killed in her own basement.  Finally, ending up on the streets with some of the most dangerous people.

Each time things became worse than the previous incidents. As always if you or someone you know would like to be a guest, reach out to me at [email protected]  If  you have suggestions for a topic you'd like us to share on please send that over as well.

This episode I am joined by KL Wells, founder and CEO of VoicesInCourage (voicesincourage.com), which is a platform developed for the loved ones of addictions or alcoholics who may have found some resources to help them, but all of them were not a great fit.  

KL has developed a support system for the family members who may be struggling as a result of our disease.  As she says, "There are meetings for alcoholic addicts, sponsors, retreats, but there are little resources for us loved ones who are also dealing with a lot of our own issues."

She shares the struggles of watching her son deteriorate for years with his own struggle with addiction.  He was arrested multiple times, went through mental hospitals, and finally today has ~7 months clean and sober.

As always everyone thank you for listening.  If you know someone or yourself would like to be a guest, please reach out to me.  If you ever want us to speak on a specific topic please let me know as well via [email protected] 

Who is the baby?  One of our dear friends who joined myself, and another friend of ours on the podcast.  We dive mostly into the insanity of what our lives were like without the use of drugs.  

We talk about what it looks like when we are trying to fill a god sized hole with instant gratification items such as relationships early in sobriety and recovery.  This is all driven by dopamine release, and a fueled obsessive, compulsive, and self centered behaviors which lead to unmanageability.  

We end it with the unfortunate shit stories while being clean!  

Thanks for listening as always.  If you would like to be a guest, know someone who would be, or would like a specific topic to be discussed, please email me at [email protected]

This episode consists of a strong woman who has built herself a strong support group of women.  She talks about attending a private school up until her sophomore year, and then was abruptly thrown into the public school system.

She laughs about checking off all the boxes of the shit she did not do during her more shy years in the first 30 days of public school, which consisted of smoking her first cigarette, drinking and doing drugs, and even kissing a boy!

She had some excellent success early, and from the outside looking in, you would never know there was an underlying issue.  She was able to continue volunteering, coaching sports, and appearing normal on the outside.  

She eventually ended up having a WILD marriage in Vegas of all places, which ended badly (go figure), but was finally able to claw herself out of that situation through a lengthy and costly divorce.

She says she would not take any of the mistakes back, including a temporary relapse, because all those things have led her exactly where she is today which is completely at peace, and the happiest she has been in a long time.

As always if you would like to be a guest or have topic suggestions, please feel free to email at [email protected]

We talk a lot about relapse prevention, what we believe are the major causes for relapse, or better yet, over the years we have been clean and sober, what do we believe could be the leading cause.  With almost a combined 21 years clean and sober between us, we also discuss the importance of sponsorship.  What does a sponsor do?  What is a sponsors main role as it pertains to the sponsor/sponsee relationship?  

Later in the podcast we discuss MAT (Medically Assisted Treatment) simply as our insight of years of anecdotal experience being in the rooms.  We discuss what we have seen work, what we have seen fail, and also discuss everything in between.  It is not our experience to have been on these long term, mostly just under two weeks once detoxed, but the insight is great nonetheless.

If you have comments or suggestions, please send them over to me.

This episode was amazing.  My guest has a very unique story of being taken, under false pretenses, to another county 6000 miles away from his mother.  To then being brought back many years later.  The struggles in early childhood, which potentially drove him on the path he chose.  He talks about going through treatment programs, sober housing, going to prison, and what peace is like today as a result of working a program.  

This guest is a great friend of mine.  She talks about how difficult the choice was to adopt her child out in early recovery.  Partly due to early recovery and partly due to the very toxic father who was still actively using.  She talks about how important the support was of her family, everyone in sobriety and recovery, and not a single person told her what to do.  They pushed her to seek the answer within herself through prayer, mediation, and what turned into a long process of people responding with, "I support you either way." structured answers.  This allowed her to build an excellent solid foundation with the God of her understanding.  Additionally, she was able to feel very secure in the fact she made the right decision.