Cleave: The Podcast

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood—and most weaponized—concepts in faith communities.

In this episode, Jon and Ashley dismantle the damaging belief that forgiveness requires forgetting, excusing harm, or immediately reconciling with people who continue to hurt you.

Drawing from their own journey through family estrangement, boundary-setting, and spiritual healing, they explore the critical distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation—and why confusing the two keeps people stuck in guilt, resentment, and unsafe relationships.

You’ll hear:

• Why forgiveness is for you, not a free pass for others

• How “forgive and forget” is often used to avoid accountability

• Why you cannot forgive someone who is actively harming you

• How boundaries are not un-Christlike—but essential

• Why forgiveness is a process, not a moment

• How the Atonement of Jesus Christ applies not just to repentance—but to healing, grief, anger, and emotional trauma

This conversation is especially for those navigating:

• Family estrangement or no-contact decisions

• Faith-based pressure to reconcile prematurely

• Guilt for “not forgiving fast enough”

• The emotional toll of repeated boundary violations

Forgiveness does not mean access.
Forgiveness does not erase truth.
Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.

It does require honesty, courage, and—often—time.

If this episode resonated, we share deeper reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes insights in our Weekly Note.
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If you’re walking through something similar, you’re not alone. You’re always welcome to message us—we read far more than we can respond to, but we see you.

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood teachings in faith communities — and for many people, that misunderstanding has caused more harm than healing.

In this Here’s the Lesson episode, we explore why forgiveness has so often been taught as immediate reconciliation, emotional closure, or spiritual maturity — and how that definition leaves survivors feeling confused, ashamed, and unsafe.

If your body still reacts, if setting boundaries feels necessary, or if forgiveness feels impossible right now, this episode offers clarity without condemnation.

We talk about:

• The difference between forgiveness and reconciliation

• Why forgiveness is an internal process, not restored access

• How faith can be used to heal rather than control

• Why Jesus forgave freely and still set boundaries

• How honoring what’s still healing can be an act of wisdom, not failure

This episode is for anyone navigating:
spiritual abuse, emotional manipulation, family systems, boundaries, faith and healing, or the pressure to “forgive and move on” before it’s safe.

Forgiveness can free you.
Boundaries can protect you.
You don’t have to choose one or the other.

Note: If this episode resonates with you, we would love for you to follow our podcast, give us a rating, or follow us on social media so we can keep the dialogue going. Regardless of whether you do those things or not... know that we are grateful you are here with us. Hope you will join us again soon.

What happens when kindness comes with expectations?

In this mini episode of Here’s the Lesson, we explore how giving—especially in families—can quietly turn into obligation, control, or resentment when it’s tied to unspoken expectations.

This conversation isn’t about blame.

It’s about honesty, boundaries, and learning the difference between love that’s freely given and love that’s conditional.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠Click here⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

What happens when faith—meant to heal, guide, and liberate—is used to control, silence, or shame?

In this episode, we dive into the often misunderstood topic of spiritual abuse and spiritual manipulation. We talk honestly about how gospel principles can be misapplied in families, churches, marriages, and faith communities—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes generationally—and the emotional and spiritual toll that can take.

This conversation isn’t about blaming or attacking people of faith. It’s about naming patterns that stop growth, distort truth, and disconnect us from our own agency—and from God. We explore how misuse of concepts like honor thy parents, turn the other cheek, and self-sacrifice can lead to anxiety, depression, resentment, and loss of self.

We also discuss how to recognize the difference between Christlike love and control, why boundaries are not unfaithful, and how learning to listen to your own inner compass can actually bring you closer to the Savior—not farther away.

This episode is for anyone who has felt confused, conflicted, or trapped in the name of “doing the right thing.” Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and know you’re not alone in the process of healing.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

“Don’t judge” is one of the most quoted — and most misunderstood — phrases in Christian culture.

In this Here’s the Lesson mini episode, we unpack what Jesus actually taught about judgment, discernment, and accountability. Christ never asked us to abandon truth in the name of love. He warned against hypocrisy — not righteous judgment.

We explore the difference between condemning people and discerning fruit, why “don’t judge” is often used to deflect accountability, and how truth spoken with humility is not unchristian — it’s loving.

Here’s the lesson:
Discernment isn’t judgment.
Avoidance is.

Take what’s good. Leave the rest.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. Click here for more.

What did Jesus actually mean when He said, “turn the other cheek”?

For many, this teaching has been misunderstood—and misused—to encourage silence, endurance, and even compliance in the face of harm. In this episode of Here’s the Lesson, we slow down and place Christ’s words back into their original context.

This conversation explores the difference between refusing retaliation and refusing safety, how scripture can be weaponized to protect abuse, and why Jesus consistently modeled both love and wisdom.

Boundaries are not a lack of faith.

Peace is not passivity.

And Christ never asks us to endure abuse to prove our righteousness.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠Click here⁠ for more.

This isn’t a full episode — just a short reflection.

In this Here’s the Lesson segment from Leave Then Cleave, Jon explores why boundaries are often mislabeled as betrayal, especially in families and faith-based relationships.

Boundaries aren’t rejection.
They’re clarity.

If someone experiences your boundary as abandonment, it may be because they were used to access without accountability.

This is a reminder that love doesn’t require self-abandonment — and choosing health is not unchristlike.

Take what fits. Leave the rest.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

This isn’t a full episode — just a short reflection.

In this Here’s the Lesson segment from Leave Then Cleave, Jon explores the difference between peace and avoidance, especially when silence is mistaken for righteousness.

Forgiveness was never meant to erase truth.
And love was never meant to require self-betrayal.

This is a moment for anyone who’s been told that speaking up is unchristlike, that boundaries are prideful, or that naming harm means you lack faith.

Take what fits. Leave the rest.

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

Welcome to Cleave — formerly The Living in Truth Project Podcast.

In this reboot episode, Jon and Ashley introduce what Cleave is all about: honest, long-form conversations on marriage, family dynamics, boundaries, healing, faith, and emotional health.

We share the story behind the name Cleave — what it means to leave what’s unhealthy and cleave to what’s true — and what you can expect from this new season, including topics like forgiveness, spiritual manipulation, triangulation, grief, and rebuilding your identity.

If you’re trying to break cycles, strengthen your marriage, and build a healthier life with clarity and truth… you’re in the right place.

🎧 New episodes weekly
💬 Send us your questions — future episodes may be Q&A style

If these conversations matter to you, we share a weekly note with deeper reflections on faith, boundaries, and truth. You’re welcome to join us. ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ for more.

Also, A Favor to Ask: If this episode, or any of our others resonate with you... Please subscribe and rate this podcast! It will help us reach others that need this message too!

Wicked is not the story we all thought it was.
In this episode of Cleave, I break down the emotional and psychological layers inside one of Broadway’s biggest hits — and why its message hits differently as an adult.
We talk:
• the Wizard’s manipulation
• Glinda’s toxic charm
• the recipe for creating a scapegoat
• the cost of choosing integrity
• and why Elphaba is one of the most important “heroes” we have today
I also share how this story mirrors real patterns my wife and I have lived through — and why so many of us find ourselves cast as villains the moment we stand up to dysfunction.
If you’ve ever defied gravity in your own life, you’ll feel seen in this one.